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hogmartin posted:I worked retail back in high school and finally I said "f dealing with these idiots, I'm gonna get a desk job". Small world. 'Cause there was, like, one dial-up internet support guy for the entire world in 1998 and you kept me on hold for six months before I gave up. New page content: I once had sex. With a human being.
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# ? May 8, 2016 03:51 |
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# ? May 13, 2024 06:34 |
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Filox posted:
Hey, you never know, this one could have hap- hahaha no I can't do it
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# ? May 8, 2016 04:31 |
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Filox posted:Small world. 'Cause there was, like, one dial-up internet support guy for the entire world in 1998 and you kept me on hold for six months before I gave up. Ugh, sorry about that. Try removing/reinstalling dial-up networks (hope you still have the Windows CD). There are also some modem init codes that we can try, thank you for calling.
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# ? May 8, 2016 07:47 |
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I'm 90% sure only one goon ever has had sex with a human being, and he got demodded for it
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# ? May 8, 2016 07:51 |
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Nice
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# ? May 8, 2016 07:55 |
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Filox posted:Small world. 'Cause there was, like, one dial-up internet support guy for the entire world in 1998 and you kept me on hold for six months before I gave up. Sad. Where's the whole quirky story where you meet (maybe by loaning her a printer), you engage in a mighty battle of wits with an atheist homeless lesbian soldier, and then you let your hair down and take you glasses off, everyone applauds, and you two have the best (and probably only) sex of your life?
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# ? May 8, 2016 16:42 |
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I miss the autogenerated STDH retail stories.
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# ? May 8, 2016 18:29 |
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:I'm 90% sure only one goon ever has had sex with a human being, and he got demodded for it holy moley
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# ? May 8, 2016 21:23 |
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:I'm 90% sure only one goon ever has had sex with a human being, and he got demodded for it Goddamn
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# ? May 8, 2016 21:50 |
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:I'm 90% sure only one goon ever has had sex with a human being, and he got demodded for it Amazing. However you are forgetting
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# ? May 9, 2016 00:32 |
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MC Nietzche posted:Amazing. The key there is CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:I'm 90% sure only one goon ever has had sex with a human being
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# ? May 9, 2016 01:44 |
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There's an entire repository for STDH revenge fantasies! Mad about littering? Vandalize their property! Upset at your parents for reasonably expecting you to take care of your living space? You sure showed them by doing exactly what they wanted! Your cat literally doesn't understand any of this! But congratulations on getting "petty revenge" on an animal, I guess.
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# ? May 9, 2016 02:34 |
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Atasnaya Vaflja posted:
Those folks 100% knew their slacker kid was awake.
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# ? May 9, 2016 04:54 |
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Girlsquote:My best friend believes his female best friend tries to destroy his love life by giving him bad advice and comments regarding the girls he like so she can date him...despite having rejected him some time ago. This troper likes to believe that she (along with his ex-girlfriend) are plotting against him too. Coincidences quote:Some things That have heppened that I have seen or been told: 1) Two people not only lived in the same town, worked in the same company, but when each moved, without knowing, had moved to within two houses of one another. 2) Someone not making their plane, only to find out that the connector had been canceled and they would have been stranded RIGHT AFTER they bought a new flight the next day. 3) A person's car stalled when they put their foot on the gas. Good thing, too, or they would hev been hit by the ambulance running the lights without its lights/siren on. and that's just the tip of the iceberg. Grandmother quote:This troper's retired ex-English teacher grandmother sailed to Greece from England by herself... AFTER having a severe stroke that partially paralysed one arm and one leg. Been to every anti-war march since time immemorial. Once her house was burgled, and an ex-student was the policeman who came to take her statement—but his spelling was so atrocious she refused to sign it until he'd gone back to the station and fixed every error... which he then did. Has burned her own house down twice, wrecked another person's house once, and once climbed in through the second floor bathroom window when this troper's parents were sharing the tub, because she'd forgotten her keys. Top that. I dare you.
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# ? May 9, 2016 06:06 |
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quote:My
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# ? May 9, 2016 07:17 |
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Does anyone have that series of joke STDH where the storyteller always reacts to some slight against him with a terrible pun and then beating the poo poo out of everyone?
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# ? May 9, 2016 07:29 |
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Baba Yaga Fanboy posted:Does anyone have that series of joke STDH where the storyteller always reacts to some slight against him with a terrible pun and then beating the poo poo out of everyone? Oh you want those Deadpool scripts?
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# ? May 9, 2016 07:38 |
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Someone requested more Not Always Right. Movie quote:Acting R-Rated In A PG Movie Flight quote:Going Off On Flights Of Fancy
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# ? May 9, 2016 07:46 |
Khazar-khum posted:Movie I can actually believe this one. The storyteller just keeps saying the same awkward phrase over and over while shoving their head next to a blowjob in action, the management can't do anything about it.
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# ? May 9, 2016 16:28 |
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Atasnaya Vaflja posted:Upset at your parents for reasonably expecting you to take care of your living space? I get so tired of the "I'm taking AP classes" whine. They're not particularly difficult. Khazar-khum posted:Grandmother If this were real, her grandmother would have beaten her six ways from Sunday for writing so poorly.
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# ? May 9, 2016 17:35 |
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chitoryu12 posted:I can actually believe this one. The storyteller just keeps saying the same awkward phrase over and over while shoving their head next to a blowjob in action, the management can't do anything about it.
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# ? May 9, 2016 18:15 |
Stroop There It Is posted:It's not a BJ, they're supposedly boning down, which is considerably less believable Okay yeah, good point.
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# ? May 9, 2016 18:21 |
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Baba Yaga Fanboy posted:Does anyone have that series of joke STDH where the storyteller always reacts to some slight against him with a terrible pun and then beating the poo poo out of everyone? http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2701257&pagenumber=85&perpage=40#post389773104
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# ? May 9, 2016 19:37 |
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# ? May 9, 2016 21:11 |
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And here I thought I was doing my mother a good turn by mowing her lawn.
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# ? May 9, 2016 21:22 |
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# ? May 9, 2016 21:26 |
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Atmus posted:http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2701257&pagenumber=85&perpage=40#post389773104 I expected to see "Robert Hamburger" at the end of every one of those stories.
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# ? May 10, 2016 01:14 |
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The author's Mary Sue can't even correctly bait the opposition in the story: https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-rudest-thing-someone-has-ever-said-to-you-and-how-did-you-respond/answer/Beth-Peck-2
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# ? May 10, 2016 05:06 |
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kimbo305 posted:My regular sitting next to her drat near spit her coffee out! :-))))) It was so peaceful after that exchange! \U0001f602\U0001f602\U0001f602\U0001f602 Jesus christ, she even tried to use emojis.
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# ? May 10, 2016 07:11 |
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It seems like a universal rule that only loving morons brag about their IQ.
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# ? May 10, 2016 07:32 |
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Kiss ]quote]This troper's first-grade teacher loved to put lipsticky kiss marks on all the little boys' cheeks. Sometimes this was for "holiday decoration," like when she used green lipstick on St. Patrick's Day. Other times it was used as punishment for kids who hated it. A few of us refused to be kissed under any circumstances, and learned how to dodge. She stopped doing it halfway through the year, after one particularly stubborn refuser gave her a black eye. [/quote] Glock quote:This troper has trained in using and caring for several firearms, to the point of being able to make a headshot with a Glock from 20 yards mid-stride (and is drat PROUD of it), all in case this troper is ever in an extreme survival situation (zombies, on run from government, secretly forced into centuries old assassin society, ect.). The current flaw lies in the fact this troper does not own a gun. But seriously, if the poo poo hit the fan, this troper could find one. After all, this troper is a U.S. citizen. Classmate quote:This editor has a classmate at law school who apparently has anything and everything in his bookbag: You need a pen, he has one. Someone else also needs a pen, he takes out a second one. A person needs a red pen, he takes out a red pen. No, wait, you needs a blue pen, here it is. You forget the power adaptor for your computer, he happens to be carrying that exact model of power adaptor with him. A professor once asked if anyone had a print-out of an e-mail she sent us, he takes it out and hands it to her (her response was "I should have seen that coming.") If you say you're hungry, he takes out a bag of jelly babies. The first guess was that he was the Doctor and the bag is his TARDIS but he has demonstrated this is simply because he is crazy-prepared. When a professor was talking about living wills, it turned out this student had one. He then went on to describe it. It covered almost every situation you could think of. It even made several clauses about what should be done if he joined a cult or otherwise was not of sound mind, with notes on how to determine when this had happened. This could explain why he seems to have so many random skills, he's simply prepared in case he needs them.
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# ? May 10, 2016 08:27 |
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Khazar-khum posted:
https://youtu.be/sqYV-GLnxQU
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# ? May 10, 2016 08:51 |
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Khazar-khum posted:Classmate So what? Like 3 pens, a snack, a print out relevant to the class he's in and a macbook charger? Aren't these all completely normal things to carry in a book bag?
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# ? May 10, 2016 10:35 |
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LIFE HACK (Although I guess in law school there might be a reason to use a pen instead of a pencil I don't know. I've never been to law school you see.)
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# ? May 10, 2016 10:46 |
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By the way I definitely want the classmate as my lawyer, not that editor.
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# ? May 10, 2016 10:47 |
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Guy on Imgur goes high tech with his "it wasn't me" stories: http://imgur.com/a/4rZnH
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# ? May 11, 2016 03:08 |
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kimbo305 posted:The author's Mary Sue can't even correctly bait the opposition in the story: I "hate" it when people "fail" at "emphasising" things like that
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# ? May 11, 2016 03:49 |
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kimbo305 posted:Guy on Imgur goes high tech with his "it wasn't me" stories: 404 my friend
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# ? May 11, 2016 07:09 |
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drat, I need to screenshot this stuff. The guy posted a sext selfie of a girl in a low top with a boob hanging out along with a plea for help. His long caption was (ok, self, you can do this. You've been training forever to write stdh by reading this thread) something like: ---------- DOES ANYONE REMEMBER THIS PICTURE? [posts user-submitted rando nude pic] Guys, I really need your help. I was volunteering to upload some training pictures I took at work for our company's Facebook account. I was outside smoking so I wasn't really paying that much attention, just batch uploading pictures. But somehow, this picture got uploaded with them! And my girlfriend saw it on Facebook and asked a lot of questions. I have no idea how this happened. I know I saw this picture posted on usersub. I must have favorited it somehow. [great explanation] Nobody else has used or touched my phone. Except my brother, but he wasn't uploading any pics. My girlfriend is very suspicious, so I'm trying to clear my name. I don't know that girl and haven't been cheating. I'm trying to get anyone else to acknowledge that they saw that picture, too, so my gf will know it has nothing to do with me. I know how bad this looks BUT I'M COMPLETELY INNOCENT AND HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. Sorry, I'm getting so upset. This probably won't work and my gf won't believe me, but I know it's true.
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# ? May 11, 2016 08:01 |
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# ? May 13, 2024 06:34 |
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kimbo305 posted:drat, I need to screenshot this stuff. The guy posted a sext selfie of a girl in a low top with a boob hanging out along with a plea for help. I want to believe this did happen because I'm imagining someone pleading to their significant other with "but honey imgur says..."
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# ? May 11, 2016 08:03 |