BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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«‹›1996 »

rabidsquid: Oct 11, 2004; LOVES THE KOG

Gumshoes
Zephyrs
Panderers unify

# ? May 9, 2016 19:38

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 27, 2024 00:30

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

Everyone retains their respective titles.

# ? May 9, 2016 21:04

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Pick 'em
Champs retain

# ? May 9, 2016 21:21

Ice To Meet You: Mar 5, 2007

Sub-Par League VII, Week 3: Now It's Time To Panic

Games of the Weak

Keith Wuncler CXXXIV posted:

Friendly Pete, Friendliest* Griffon In All the Super-League, to recap this game!

*_{_{Four of five players surveyed agreed, the fifth was mysteriously disemboweled before responding.}}

It is I, Friendly Pete, part bird, part man, all pitcher. I have descended from on high, the Super League, to talk to Armitage about his latest debacle at Idaho! The Jobbers have one job, and it's to job. Occasionally, you're also expected to win because if you always end the match face down on the mat, marinating in your own worthlessness, then the crowd will never take you seriously when you are supposed to lose the meaningful matches. "Oh, that useless so-and-so, always losing," the people will say, as they shake their heads in contempt as you lose yet another round. That's why you're sometimes paired up with other jobbers! The Potatoes are even more hapless than you, and you're not supposed to throw matches against them.

Now, I'm here to encourage Armitage. He has everything one needs to take a credible fall at the right moment, but not be so hapless that he should straight up die every time he gets into any sort of competitive engagement! Unfortunately, he seems to sometimes forget that he's supposed to win. There are many lessons to be learned from this here game, and I'm going to show them all to you, Armitage, so you may take them to heart and not lose. Well, not lose as often. Even mythical beasts of lore can't make miracles happen.

Your first mistake is that you brought Mel Stottlemyre to the game. That's a no-no! If you're expected to win against the likes of Cy Young or Old Hoss, or Pedro Martinez, or perhaps, one day, against me, you can't bring a jabroni like Mel. What's he done besides ride the tailcoats of the 90's Yankees success? That's right, nothing. Is it a surprise he got lit up like an adventurer playing with fire magic? Exactly.

"But Friendly Pete! Who else was I supposed to bring?" I hear you whine. That's a good question. You somehow got rid of Dihigo and Old Hoss, and received naught but peanuts. Now, I'm part bird and adore nuts, it's part of my contract that I am supplemented with seeds and nuts for my on-road meals. But you're not a bird, as far as anyone is aware, so this is a bad situation for you. Thus your first task is to foist on some other loser your pitching staff. Surely someone will be willing to take a chance on Chief Bender! I am not sure how you'll be able to flip a teenaged pitcher who apparently beaned a few people since being sent into the minors, but that's why I'm where I am and you're where you are. Get to work.

I'm willing to credit the fact you apparently tried to win. It was a close game, after all, and you almost won it. But like title belt matches and attack rolls, close doesn't count. You take the pin, you take the loss, there's no partial credit; you whiff your attack roll, I eat your kidney, that's how it works. When it was 1-4 and you were in the hole, your cute little team tried to mount a rally! It was almost exciting, in that you almost pulled even. Heck, even the Potatoes tried to take a dive by having Cecil Travis bobble the play to let you guys pull within one. Then Buddy Myer hit a pop fly for the last out. So sad! That's you, the adventurer who rolled a three to attack and now I'm supplementing my birdseed with his liver.

I know you'd like to pin this on Jeurys Familia, often literally and physically by pile driving him into the pitchers mound. He was shaky, but in the end he wriggled out and got three outs, like a good closer. And for once, he wasn't taken out on a stretcher. Trust me, it was a struggle to not squawk and fly down to slap** some sense into him when he let a single and a walk in succession. Yet he did his job and got out without any runs. It wasn't the prettiest of outings but you've had much worse. In fact, your bullpen was pretty good! Such wasted effort, since all your batters struck out or grounded out.

**_{_{By "slap", I of course mean the tearing of sinew and muscle in a majestic display of the power of wildlife.}}

Where were you in the post-game conference? All that pent-up violence I know you're capable of, and you couldn't even slam Grinnblade for stating that he's glad he played you this season to prove he's not the worst team in the league? Nothing ruffles my feathers more than one jobber saying poo poo about another jobber. That's Grinnblade's role to take the fall! Are you scared of Lukoshenko? Huh? A petty third rate dictator in a petty third rate country? You must have taken more heat jumping on the PATH to cross the Hudson. I know your role is a step above rodeo clown, but have somedignity. Don't take it from a man who puts in as his leadoff hitter a catcher who's taken fewer walks in his entire career than Bryce Harper has in a single season and is batting last.

I must fly back to the Super-League. Armitage! I will be watching and giving you "encouragement" such as this throughout the season because you can join me in paradise, or at the end of the Gauntlet. And I will be very hungry if it's the latter.

FRIENDLY PETE'S WORDS OF ADVICE

- No, really, why the gently caress is Perez the leadoff hitter.

- Stottlemyre isn't the worst pitcher on your team, and that's kind of sad.

- I don't know what the hells going on with these last few games but they've all featured fielding errors.

- Ian Desmond is a person, all right. Not a person who should be a SS in the SL.

- Cecil Travis came in as a defensive sub and hosed up the inning he played. Good job!

Box Score

Frank Gaiman posted:

NICK PUNTO DEFEATS ABOMINATION

Anytown, USA - Poor Harlock.

The owner of the Superstars didn't quite know what he was getting into when he agreed to manage an expansion team. Sure, he liked baseball, and he'd followed it since childhood. But what good was twenty plus years of baseball experience in the face of over a century of baseball history? Guys were coming out of cornfields left and right to murder his team, like some sort of awful "Field of Dreams" horror movie.

And even after the Superstars notched their first win and began to think that maybe, just maybe they could hang in this league, an even more eldritch horror emerged.

Harlock watched Dragons starter New Hoss Radbourn warm in the bullpen.

"Jesus christ," he said to shortstop and team mascot Nick Punto. "What in the hell is that?"

Punto squinted. "That, uh..."

Punto rubbed some dirt in his eyes to get a better view. "That appears to be part-man, part-machine, boss." He spit.

Harlock blanched. "How is that even possible?"

Punto rubbed his spit into the dirt, then rolled around in it a little bit to get his uniform dirty. "Dunno, boss. But I don't like it. Way I see it, baseball's a sport of men."

Harlock nodded, though he wasn't quite sure where this was going. "Well, women can play too," he offered. "I mean, I've seen highlights of Eri Yoshida and Melissa Mayeux, and both of them seem at least remotely competent. And then there's Chelsea Baker, who I wouldn't cross at all."

Punto applied eyeblack to his whole body. "No, boss," he said. "I guess I wasn't making myself clear. Baseball is a human sport. I don't care what you've got between your legs, but it drat sure better be flesh and blood, not oil and chrome."

Radbourn's cybernetically-enhanced hearing picked up on this, and he turned in the bullpen to face Punto. Opening his chest cavity, he vented some radioactive heat into the stands. He smiled at Punto, holding a baseball in his direction. He crushed it, seems bursting.

Harlock sweated. "Maybe we should call this off. I mean, losing a game is one thing, but losing our lives to this...this...abomination?"

But Punto was resolute. "Boss, we've got this." He ran out to take his position at shortstop, diving into the dirt around second and making tiny dirt angels.

Superstars pitcher Mark Langston ignored Radbourn--this was a DH league, after all. He wouldn't have to worry about his counterpart shy of perhaps some remnant radioactvity on the mound. But even that wouldn't be a problem in the top of the first, which is likely why he managed a quick shutout inning.

That brought Barry Bonds to the plate leading off the bottom of the inning. Bonds is many things, but "intimidated by cyborgs" isn't one of them, and he promptly turned on a 102 MPH fastball, crushing it into right center for a triple. Babe Ruth followed that up with a single one batter later, and the Superstars drew first...blood?...against Radbourn and the Dragons.

It didn't last long, though, as Langston was seemingly unnerved by the giant footprints on the mound waiting for him in the top o fthe second. He threw a wild pitch that ultimately allowed Ty cobb to score on a Charlie Gehringer double.

That made it 1-1 heading into the bottom of the second. Adam Dunn strode to the plate, smirking at Radbourn.

Radbourn sneered. "Look at you, hacker," he said. "A pathetic creature of meat and bone. How can you--" but he was interrupted as Dunn smacked a single down the right field line.

Pudge Rodriguez was next. Radbourn was clearly incensed at this insult, and immediately drilled Rodriguez in the back. But Pudge was fortified with the best drugs known to man, and the cyborg could not break him. All he'd done was put the first tow men on against Miguel Cabrera.

And Cabrera, young as he was, still felt invincible when older men would've known better. He laced a single to center, putting the Superstars back on top 2-1. This further infuriated Radbourn, who promptly uncorked a wild pitch, putting runners at second and third. In strode Craig Biggio, a man who made his living getting drilled by baseballs. Radbourn couldn't find a weak point in his armor, and eventually gave up and pitched to contact--producing an RBI ground out.

That brought in Punto, who dived into the batters box.

"Die, monster," said Punto. "You don't belong in this world!"

Radbourn snorted. "What is a man? A miserable little pile of grit!" He threw the resin bag at the ground with such force that it exploded. "But enough talk! Have at you!"

Punto squared to bunt.

He pulled back from ball one.

He pulled back from ball two.

He pulled back from ball three.

"Hydro STORM!" shouted Punto, then squared to bunt yet again.

He walked on four pitches.

"Face me like a man!" screamed Radbourn.

Punto looked up, his mouth full of the first base dirt he'd been eating for some reason. "Why? You are not a man. You have none of man's weaknesses, but also none of man's cleverness. I will always defeat you, monster."

Radbourn shrieked, causing blood to pour out of Harlock's ears, but Punto was unharmed--his ears were plugged with infield dirt. His every orifice, in fact, was plugged with infield dirt. "The power of baseball protects me, demon!"

So Radbourn did what he knew best: uncorked another wild pitch, then another, then another. By the time the dust had cleared, Punto had crossed the plate and made it 5-1.

But that still meant Langston had to hold the Dragons' offense in check--something he clearly wasn't suited for, as he immediately gave up two more runs in the third inning. If not for a great play by Punto to end the inning, it might've been worse.

Yet that was apparently all the confidence that Langston needed to get himself right. He settled down from there, and held the Dragons down over the next several innings. He held the Dragons down through two outs in the eighth inning, when Bryan Harvey bailed him out of a minor jam.

Todd Worrell pitched the eighth for the Dragons, accomplishing what Radbourn couldn't: he retired Nick Punto. The gritty shortstop had walked in both plate appearances versus Radbourn. He meekly grounded to second against Worrell.

Regardless, that meant the Superstars had a 5-3 lead heading into the ninth, and Larry Andersen successfully closed out the game.

Radbourn refused to let Dragons owner Robert Deadford speak after the game, instead offering this:

"Know this," said Radbourn. "I have seen many things fell the weak flesh of men in my time. Tuberculosis. Mustard gas. Crushing poverty. None of those can fell me."

His radioactive core glowing, he continued. "Today I learned something: my lack of a human heart is a weakness. I do not have the grit and pluck that man does, because what powers me is nuclear fission, not ventricles and atria."

Punto smiled at this, thinking Radbourn had learned a valuable lesson.

"So know this, people of Anytown USA. The next time we meet, I shall not be so kind. I shall lay waste to your Nick Punto. I shall eat his heart. I shall know his powers. And you shall know only desolation." He stomped off.

Harlock exhaled. "So, uh...how many games are left in the season again?"

GAME NOTES

- Apologies for any canonical errors in the appearance and mechanics of New Hoss Radbourn

- Babe Ruth tried to steal a base!

- Glenn Davis: 0-4, 4 strikeouts. The golden sombrero did not protect him from the radioactivity of Radbourn.

Box Score

The Commander posted:

LIGHTNING GET STONED BY DINOSAURS IN EIGHTH, LOSE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

Brookings, S. D. - The legend of the Stoned Lightning grows, unfortunately for Captain Yesterday, this legend exists primarily in his own mind. A new champion has been deemed worthy of the Cruiserweight title, also known as the �You Tried� Championship trophy.

The game started off innocently enough. The Dinos, sensing that they could achieve the true glory of bringing a title to the lifeless hellscape that was their home, scored in each of the first 3 innings to take a 3-1 lead. In fact, everything was going swimmingly and creating a very boring recap until Don Sutton replaced Tom Glavine in the top of the 8th inning. Upon getting a fresh new pitcher, the Stoned Lightning loaded the bases with the generous help of a Chipper Jones walk, a Mike Donlin Single and a throwing error by the catcher, all with no outs. This unfortunate turn of events created a situation so egregiously easy that even Astros retreads Jeff Bagwell (single for two runs) and Lance Berkman (a 6-4-3 double play that still allowed runs to score) were able to appear as if they were legit Super-League stars and not players who spent a large chunk of their careers with a team so disgraceful that it eventually got kicked out of the National League of all places.

Holding the lead in the 8th inning and feeling a desire to get the league imposed post game press conference out of the way early, to escape the Sodakhan while he still could, Captain Yesterday motioned to Chipper Jones to help him carry his soon to be retained Cruiserweight title to the press conference. Chipper, seeming slightly concerned, asked �Boss, are you sure about this? I mean I know you are the leading legend of your own mind but it's a one run game against a tough team and,� �NONSENSE� bellowed Captain Yesterday, �this is but a formality, the Legendary Stoned Lightning are champions and Champions NEVER screw this up, especially against an opponent that looks like Reptar.�

At the hastily gathered presser, Captain Yesterday was largely ready to finish up an extended incoherent rant about the value of TNA wrestling and how Smasher Dynamo simply failed to recognized the clear brilliance of his team when Forzelt suddenly rushed into the room, knocked down Chipper Jones and picked up the championship.

�Now I am excited for Smasher Dynamo�s forthcoming note for my retention of the championship trophy and...wait a second WHY ARE YOU STEALING MY TROPHY FORZELT? YOU'RE NOT THE THE BEST LEGEND THAT�S EVER LIVED!�

�Unfortunately dear Captain, your good friend George Davis was unable to make a routine throw and the results were...unfavorable to you. I�ll be taking that championship trophy now and using it to bring glory back to the mighty Sodakhan.�

After it was explained to him that yes, losing 3 games in a row was a problem and that, yes, unfortunately, putting in little used 3B could have disastrous consequences, the captain chose to angrily storm out of the room, mumbling something about how it was inconceivable that a player with a .940 career fielding percentage could make a critical mistake such as that and that this was all a conspiracy by a �Smasher Dynamo� to ruin his perfectly constructed team of Astros.

Now that he was in possession of the sub par league's most coveted �you tried� trophy, Forzelt addressed the crowd:

�Thank you all, and especially to George Davis. This is truly an honor for all of Sodak to be the Cruiserweight Champions of the Sub-Par League. Sure Smasher Dynamo may think we aren�t worth existing, which might have some validity given that I�m pretty sure our state tree is the telephone pole, but he probably hates everyone else slightly less than us. However, we swept a first place team, albeit one from one of the worst divisions in a league with a name that shows its lack of quality. Really what I want to say is that Sodak is better than all of you and bow before your god.� At this point, all reporters left with the hope of getting out of the state before nightfall, when they could only presume that some sort of monster would come out and ravage the land.

GAME NOTES

- George Davis was the impact player of this game, at the time of his ill fated error, the Lightning had a 60% win probability, after the play it was closer to 12%.

- Somehow, the Stoned Lightning are still in first place. The Monster�s Ball division sounds like a magical place.

- Trevor Hoffman pitched a save in the 9th. He is good at baseball I guess.

- They say defense wins championships, in this case it can lose them in hilarious fashion.

Box Score

Team Statistics

Analysis

Good ol' Bill Bernhard... how I hate him!

Analysis

This schedule contains a reason why pythag is silly early in the season. Can you find it?

Analysis

Oh no! It seems there is another team with more powerful fire than you.

Analysis

Power pitching is clearly the best kind of pitching.

Analysis

A team can't win on pitchers alone.

Analysis

Mornacale wasn't expecting Nolan Ryan to come into his strikeout dome and totally own him, but it happened.

Analysis

The bullpen has been really good, and yet they have lost 4 games. But most of those were the 3 extra inning games against the Lightning. So score more.

Analysis

The pitching will probably improve a little. But that lineup... ehhhhh.

Analysis

Wrestler's Court is still out.

Analysis

I'm skeptical that your offense will continue to carry you as it has been.

Analysis

Every New Hoss is a little bit different, and beautiful in its own way. This one will probably do better soon.

Analysis

As time goes on, you will be able to separate those who dinger from those who do not, and kill the latter.

Analysis

A fine week.

Analysis

A good number of guys are underperforming, so it's just a normal season for Pungry then.

Analysis

What a great team. Except Glenn Davis.

Analysis

For now you're in the lead, but even Armitage won't stay cold forever.

Analysis

Right now these guys are on pace to score about 40% more runs than last time. Considering their pitching back then was good enough to "win" a division, that is scary for everyone else.

Analysis

I feel like these guys just need one more big hitter. Or to remove Manny. That could also work.

Standings

# ? May 9, 2016 21:27

rabidsquid: Oct 11, 2004; LOVES THE KOG

How many games can the Mexicutioners go without recording a save and still having a winning record?

# ? May 9, 2016 21:28

Ice To Meet You: Mar 5, 2007

rabidsquid posted:

How many games can the Mexicutioners go without recording a save and still having a winning record?

If they keep throwing complete games 61% of the time, no problem!

# ? May 9, 2016 21:32

rabidsquid: Oct 11, 2004; LOVES THE KOG

That seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to expect, Mexican vitamins and supplements are world renowned after all.

# ? May 9, 2016 21:34

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Go Superstars! You can do it :unsmith:

# ? May 9, 2016 21:35

TheMcD: May 4, 2013; Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Gabriel Pope posted:

Go Superstars! You can do it

When the Superstars win, we all win.

# ? May 9, 2016 21:55

Yaya: Nov 14, 2012; vancloober cablucks

I unironically want Sean Doolittle and I'm upset I can't trade for him.

# ? May 9, 2016 21:58

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

Neat; I came within 1 run of sweeping a 4-game set against the Janus. That's much better than I thought I'd do.

And my injuries are mostly healed too, so I can make some changes. Apologies for making you undo what I did last week; this is just to go back to normal.

1.) Liquid Brown back to #4 in the rotation, which sends Palmer to the minors
2.) Schalashaska back to the minors, Carter comes up
3.) Make Carter the personal catcher for Naked Brown
4.) Swap Old Brown and Nolan Ryan (Old Brown becomes #5, Ryan becomes LR)
5.) Congratulate JJ Putz on a job well done, then demote him and have Koji Uehara take his place

Thanks!

...I'll give my disappointing outfield another week at least to figure things out. Heilmann and Hafey seem like good replacements but it's too early.

# ? May 9, 2016 21:58

Faustoan Bargain: Dec 24, 2009; I'd sell my soul for a pitcher with a power sinker...

Pick 'em picks: champs retain

Is there a way to say how often one's backups play? Should I be worried about "tired" Wally Schang? I'm going to worry, because clearly he is the key to run prevention. (Also oh god if I ever actually have to use Dioner Navarro...)

# ? May 9, 2016 22:37

TheMcD: May 4, 2013; Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Faustoan Bargain posted:

Is there a way to say how often one's backups play? Should I be worried about "tired" Wally Schang? I'm going to worry, because clearly he is the key to run prevention. (Also oh god if I ever actually have to use Dioner Navarro...)

Generally, you can't. If you want to rest people, here are your options:

1) For catchers: Set personal catcher orders (so just say "my backup catcher is now the personal catcher for starter #4" or something like that, then your regular catcher only plays four out of five games).
2) Otherwise: Look ahead. Check who you're playing, and estimate which opponent pitchers will be starting in those games (you can see the next pitcher slated to start on the pitcher stat sheet picture, and just go from there). If there are lefties in there, you can change your vs. LHP lineups to create artificial rest days for certain players.

However, you don't need to bother for now. Tired players are only a warning sign, and they're fine for a while again after a day of rest. And wouldn't you know it, you have a day of rest right to start the next week. What you need to watch out for are things like tired players with a week with no off days coming up, and sore players.

# ? May 9, 2016 22:42

Harlock: Jan 15, 2006; Tap "A" to drink!!!

- Send 1B Glenn Davis to AAA, recall 1B Derrek Lee

New Lineups:

vRHP, DH

LF Barry Bonds
CF Al Kaline
RF Babe Ruth
DH Adam Dunn
3B Miguel Cabrera
C Ivan Rodriguez
1B Wally Joyner
2B Craig Biggio
SS Nick Punto

vLHP, DH

LF Barry Bonds
CF Al Kaline
RF Babe Ruth
1B Derrek Lee
3B Miguel Cabrera
DH Jose Bautista
C Ivan Rodriguez
2B Craig Biggio
SS Nick Punto

Lineup vs RHP, no DH

LF Barry Bonds
CF Al Kaline
RF Babe Ruth
3B Miguel Cabrera
C Ivan Rodriguez
1B Wally Joyner
2B Craig Biggio
P
SS Nick Punto

Lineup vs LHP, no DH

LF Barry Bonds
CF Al Kaline
RF Babe Ruth
1B Derrek Lee
3B Miguel Cabrera
C Ivan Rodriguez
2B Craig Biggio
P
SS Nick Punto

# ? May 9, 2016 23:02

TheMcD: May 4, 2013; Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Harlock posted:

Lineup vs RHP, no DH

LF Barry Bonds
CF Al Kaline
RF Babe Ruth
3B Miguel Cabrera
C Ivan Rodriguez
1B Wally Joyner
2B Craig Biggio
P
SS Nick Punto

Lineup vs LHP, no DH

LF Barry Bonds
CF Al Kaline
RF Babe Ruth
1B Derrek Lee
3B Miguel Cabrera
C Ivan Rodriguez
2B Craig Biggio
P
SS Nick Punto

As far as I know, you can't bat the pitcher anywhere but ninth in this game. I know this because I wanted to put :argh:

BARRY

at ninth to punish him for his atrocious season back in Sub-Par I. Sub-Par I... lordy, this team of mine has been hanging around forever.

EDIT: Clarification - you can bat the pitcher at a different position, but only on a per-game basis, which only happens in the Sub-Par finals.

TheMcD fucked around with this message at 23:14 on May 9, 2016

# ? May 9, 2016 23:12

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

Hmm....

Lombardi in at Catcher, Bresnahan to the bench. Tejada and Chipper swap spots in the batting order. I can't deny Tejada is doing good so far.

# ? May 9, 2016 23:20

TKBomber7285: Feb 20, 2011

Pick 'em: The Road is Long

Hardcore and Larkin-Downing Championships
South Shore Gumshoes (c) @ South Dakota Marmosets

Triple Crown Championships
Hoboken Zephyrs (c) @ Rockford Losers

UNIFICATION MATCH! Intercontinental vs. Television
Panderers unify vs. both retain vs. @ Bombers unify

# ? May 10, 2016 00:43

shepard.shouldgo: Feb 2, 2016

Strategy

Lets drop the Pitch through trouble slider by one to +4

Roster
No rosters moves for now, though my left handed batters should sit in a corner and think real hard about if this is what they really want to do

# ? May 10, 2016 01:00

Cthulhu Dreams: Dec 11, 2010; If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

Pick 'em: The Road is Long

Hardcore and Larkin-Downing Championships
South Shore Gumshoes (c)

Triple Crown Championships
Hoboken Zephyrs (c)

UNIFICATION MATCH! Intercontinental vs. Television

# ? May 10, 2016 01:18

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

FairGame posted:

Neat; I came within 1 run of sweeping a 4-game set against the Janus. That's much better than I thought I'd do.

And my injuries are mostly healed too, so I can make some changes. Apologies for making you undo what I did last week; this is just to go back to normal.

1.) Liquid Brown back to #4 in the rotation, which sends Palmer to the minors
2.) Schalashaska back to the minors, Carter comes up
3.) Make Carter the personal catcher for Naked Brown
4.) Swap Old Brown and Nolan Ryan (Old Brown becomes #5, Ryan becomes LR)
5.) Congratulate JJ Putz on a job well done, then demote him and have Koji Uehara take his place

Thanks!

...I'll give my disappointing outfield another week at least to figure things out. Heilmann and Hafey seem like good replacements but it's too early.

You specifically adopted a team gimmick suited for my stadium so I'm not sure why you'd be that surprised at doing well there.

Of course, that means my team is specifically built for your stadium also. :unsmiggh:

# ? May 10, 2016 02:18

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

Pick 'em: The Road is Long

Hardcore and Larkin-Downing Championships
South Shore Gumshoes (c) @ South Dakota Marmosets

Triple Crown Championships
Hoboken Zephyrs (c) @ Rockford Losers

UNIFICATION MATCH! Intercontinental vs. Television
Panderers unify vs. both retain vs. @ Bombers unify

Why is Williams batting second? That doesn't seem right. Anyways, Dickey's tired so replace Bill Dickey with (gulp) Carlton Fisk for the week. Also put Jackson in for Rice, who seems to have remembered this season that he's not exactly Super-League Quality despite how much I liked him as a kid.

EDIT: Oh, I see. It's because I screwed up my batting order. Like an idiot.

NEW BATTING ORDER

#1 John McGraw
#2 ~~Jim Rice~~ Joe Jackson
#3 Jack Clark
#4 Jimmie Foxx
#5 Ted Williams
#6 ~~Bill Dickey~~ Carlton Fisk
#7 Rod Carew
#8 Robin Yount
#9 Luke Appling

# ? May 10, 2016 02:51

tadashi: Feb 20, 2006

http://lpix.org/2443650/Team23-ABanner.png

Put David Wells into Dizzy Dean's spot and send Dean to the DL and promote Pat Malone to be the long reliever.

Insert Thome for Matthews in all lineups vs. RHP.

# ? May 10, 2016 04:06

CFBalla: Sep 16, 2009; Yeah, I just made that shot.

Gabriel Pope posted:

Pick 'em
Champs retain

This looks good. Hope the pitching can get back to stable levels before long.

# ? May 10, 2016 06:21

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

Champs retain

# ? May 10, 2016 06:58

HulkaMatt: Feb 14, 2006; BIG BICEPS SHOHEI

All retain.

# ? May 10, 2016 07:35

Robert Deadford: Mar 1, 2008; Ultra Carp

Pick 'em

Champs retain, no unifications or nothing.

# ? May 10, 2016 11:25

tadashi: Feb 20, 2006

Milt Thompson posted:

Pick 'em

Champs retain, no unifications or nothing.

# ? May 10, 2016 17:22

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

If I don't get four more teams, I will be sad. And take it out on your teams.

The 9th Tag Team Championship Tournament: Go Team Friendship!

Tag team time has come again!

The way this will work is that two teams, and it can be any two teams, whether they be from the Super-League, the Sub-Par League, or some sort of unholy union between a team from the Super-League and a team from the Sub-Par League, will team up to form a super-team, with each team providing two of the following four components:

-Infield (1B, 2B, 3B, SS, DH, two backup IFs)
-Outfield and Catcher (C, LF, CF, RF, a backup C, and two backup OFs)
-Starting Rotation (SP1, SP2, SP3, SP4, SP5)
-Bullpen (CL, SU, SR, SR, MR, LR)

The winners get the greatest gift I am capable of giving: Immortality! That's right, the teams who win this tournament will be immune from relegation or demotion for a full season! And if you are in the Sub-Par league and are part of the winning tag team, you'll automatically be promoted to the Super-League proper for Super-League XX, a season with two full servings of 'X'! You wouldn't want to miss that!

The two-time, two-time defending champions of this contest are, improbably enough, the Burnt Doritos, the team of the Mitchell Kernels and the Kobe Crows. Obviously, with the Macho Men having dismembered the Kernels, the Kernels need to win to not die, which they probably would prefer given the....grave consequences of losing the Macho Men series that they might not realize yet. Plus, if one of you knocks them off, I can finally cast the Crows to Sub-Par hell. So, make good teams for once, okay?

So, find yourself a partner, combine material from each of your teams, and create a child team that you both will cherish and nurture right up until it goes off to the tournament and disappoints you greatly. And then, you will know how your parents feels every time they think about you.

Participating Teams!
Burnt Doritos (c) (Mitchell Kernels/Kobe Crows)
Alter Egos IV: Cloning Blues (Hoboken Zephyrs/Kozmic Space Fish)
Hyperion Loader Bots (Aperture Scientists/Basecloggers)
Dr. Thunder (Rochester Generics/St. Maarten Storm)
Monateam (Slaughterhouse Nine/Genoa Janus)
Major Depressive Disorder (Houston Hol Horses/Small Market Superstars)
Participation Awards (Seattle Cagey Bees/Centralia Mines)
CanaDA Bomb! (Oklahoma City Bombers/RCMP)
Twin Cities Triad (Minnesota Commission/South Dakota Marmosets)
Los Indingerables (Mexico City Mexicutioners/Khartoum Doom)
It's Not Hot! (Achewood Stoned Lightning/Jersey City Jobbers)
Warrior's Dreams (Sindhi Sheikhs/World Warriors)
Bolterland, Lanchagon (Eazy W's/Portland Panderers)

Smasher Dynamo fucked around with this message at 20:56 on May 10, 2016

# ? May 10, 2016 17:49

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

Still holding open calls for partners for the wife and I.

Her team should probably join up with the Small Market Superstars for the perfect Modern Synergy team.

Mine? I'd like to win this thing finally. I could probably contribute anything, but bullpen/IF are my best qualities.

# ? May 10, 2016 17:53

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

The perpetual bridesmaids, I mean, my Wolverines are still available for a tag team as well. I bring an OF/C of Mantle/Cobb/Ruth/Cochrane, an IF of Foxx/Cano/Trammell/McGraw, SP including Cy Young and Pedro Martinez, and a fairly bad bullpen.

# ? May 10, 2016 18:15

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

cbx posted:

The perpetual bridesmaids, I mean, my Wolverines are still available for a tag team as well. I bring an OF/C of Mantle/Cobb/Ruth/Cochrane, an IF of Foxx/Cano/Trammell/McGraw, SP including Cy Young and Pedro Martinez, and a fairly bad bullpen.

That sounds fine.

Your SP/OF and my IF/RP?

# ? May 10, 2016 18:21

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

Pander posted:

Still holding open calls for partners for the wife and I.

Her team should probably join up with the Small Market Superstars for the perfect Modern Synergy team.

Mine? I'd like to win this thing finally. I could probably contribute anything, but bullpen/IF are my best qualities.

The Superstars already brought their OF/C and Bullpen to form a team with the Hol Horses.

Honestly I don't know why you don't team up with your wife. If my wife ever joined the league, you can be damned sure I'd team up with her.

_{thankfully I never need to worry about ever needing to make good on this}

# ? May 10, 2016 18:22

TheMcD: May 4, 2013; Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

FairGame posted:

The Superstars already brought their OF/C and Bullpen to form a team with the Hol Horses.

Honestly I don't know why you don't team up with your wife. If my wife ever joined the league, you can be damned sure I'd team up with her.

_{thankfully I never need to worry about ever needing to make good on this}

What's this I hear? You'd throw our now seven seasons of teaming away that easily?

# ? May 10, 2016 18:28

Ice To Meet You: Mar 5, 2007

FairGame posted:

Honestly I don't know why you don't team up with your wife. If my wife ever joined the league, you can be damned sure I'd team up with her.

_{thankfully I never need to worry about ever needing to make good on this}

I'm going to tell her you said this!

# ? May 10, 2016 18:30

shepard.shouldgo: Feb 2, 2016

Ice To Meet You posted:

I'm going to tell her you said this!

I will also tell her this because it would amuse me

# ? May 10, 2016 18:44

Robert Deadford: Mar 1, 2008; Ultra Carp

The Dragons are still looking for a friend in these most trying of times.

I mean, we lost three of four against the Small-Market Superstars so I am considering seppuku, but we are more afraid of the Wrath of Smasher than death.

# ? May 10, 2016 20:11

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

TheMcD posted:

What's this I hear? You'd throw our now seven seasons of teaming away that easily?

It's not you, it's me.

Also: Hey Robert Deadford, I have no idea if either of us are going to survive this season, but you have a player on your feeders I'd like to experiment with. You've never used him and apparently nobody ever has, and he'll probably end up useless like my Topsy Hartsel, but if I have any random scrubs you're interested in for a swap, lemme know.

e: oh weird, you posted right when I was writing that.

# ? May 10, 2016 20:12

ForeverBWFC: Oct 19, 2011; Oh, the lads! You should've seen 'em running!
Ask 'em why and they reply the Bolton Boys are coming! All the lads and lasses, smiles upon their faces,

WALKING DOWN THE MANNY ROAD, TO SEE THE BURNDEN ACES!

Pander posted:

Still holding open calls for partners for the wife and I.

Her team should probably join up with the Small Market Superstars for the perfect Modern Synergy team.

Mine? I'd like to win this thing finally. I could probably contribute anything, but bullpen/IF are my best qualities.

I have a decent OF and rotation if you fancy it?

# ? May 10, 2016 20:17

Yaya: Nov 14, 2012; vancloober cablucks

I refuse to lose to a team that dropped 3 of 4 to Trump Baseball.

The Storm must die.

# ? May 10, 2016 20:19

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 27, 2024 00:30

Robert Deadford: Mar 1, 2008; Ultra Carp

FairGame posted:

Also: Hey Robert Deadford, I have no idea if either of us are going to survive this season, but you have a player on your feeders I'd like to experiment with. You've never used him and apparently nobody ever has, and he'll probably end up useless like my Topsy Hartsel, but if I have any random scrubs you're interested in for a swap, lemme know.

e: oh weird, you posted right when I was writing that.

Who is this mystery man and where is your google doc? I'm always up for a trade!

# ? May 10, 2016 20:38

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