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Bravo, Tink, Bravo.
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May 13, 2016 13:37
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Stephen Harper, Head Squisher You push 'em, We smush 'em
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May 13, 2016 14:11
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Spermy Smurf posted:Doublepost!
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May 13, 2016 14:19
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Spermy Smurf posted:Doublepost! Yes, I'm going to run one in the next few hours. I can do both if we're okay waiting for the last fight to be on Saturday.
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May 13, 2016 15:15
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See! I told you Stephen was good. I'm just gonna chalk this one up to the power of positive thinking and call it a day. That was a pretty great write-up Tink, the addition of gremlin tossing was a bold move but I think it worked out. 
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May 13, 2016 16:09
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ZeeToo posted:Yes, I'm going to run one in the next few hours. I can do both if we're okay waiting for the last fight to be on Saturday. I am halfway done Laser Explosion and Worker Cooperative. I had to run out for a bit, so I ran it, took screenshots and edited screenshots so far. Will post it soon.
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May 13, 2016 16:09
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 Round 16, Fight 6 Team Laser Explosion (6-9), the home team, is on the left side of the arena. Anthony (dasmause) is a male tigerman. He is empty handed and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, iron greaves, iron gauntlets, and iron low boots. Mogwai (Dark Off) is a female gremlin. She wields a copper large dagger and a silver buckler and wears a copper helm, leather armor, and copper gauntlets. Molegrim (Maugrim) is a male molemarian. He wields a copper spear and wears a bronze helm, copper gauntlets, and bronze high boots. Turquoise Tonic (Hihohe) is a male human. He wields a silver mace and an iron buckler and wears an iron cap, an iron mail shirt, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather low boots. Worker Cooperative (9-6), the visiting team, is on the right side of the arena. Combat Liberalism (Jack the Lad) is a female gremlin. She wields an iron large dagger and wears no armor. Unthrottle the Axolotl (Zwingley) is a female kobold. She wields a bronze scourge and wears a copper helm, leather armor, a copper mail shirt, leather leggings, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. Jameson the Unruly (Cathode Raymond) is a male human. He wields an iron two-handed sword and wears a copper cap, a copper breast plate, copper leggings, copper gauntlets, and copper low boots. Albrik the Insignificant (Tiler Kiwi) is a male kobold. He wields an iron battleaxe and wears a bronze cap, a bronze mail shirt, bronze leggings, bronze gauntlets, and bronze low boots.  Worker Cooperative is a 1.21 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 5386.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 4436.00 dwarfbucks for Team Laser Explosion.  Is homefield advantage going to gently caress up the betting yet again?  The gladiators meet. Molegrims spear chops up Unthrottles hand, but Jameson chops deep into Molegrim's side and skewers the molemans liver.  Anthony grabs Combat by his tiny gremlin head and throws him into the air. Molegrim charges, misses his target, and smashes into Mogwai. Mogwai just had his left arm ruined from Unthrottle, and this doesn't help things. It just made Mogwai an easy target and the scourge comes down again on the opposite arm; Mogwai passes out from pain. Combat Liberalism gets punched in the pancreas, then skids along the floor which further bruises his pancreas. I don't even know where a pancreas is located, but I guess I can just ask Combat.  Anthony's arm was previously chopped by Combat which I forgot to mention. Albrik chops Mogwai nearly in half. Blows have bounced off of every single part of Anthony so far. Head, neck, arms, legs, chest, stomach... The iron armor continues to hold against Albrik and Unthrottle.  Anthony stands tall but is unable to catch the smaller gladiators. A blow clangs off his helmet. Combat Liberalism has finally stopped skidding along the floor and stands up to help Jameson who is currently being double teamed by Molegrim and Turquoise. A blow glances from Anthonys chest. Anthony manages a blow of his own and a huge fist crushes Unthrottle's hand, forcing the kobold to drop the scourge. Turquoise Tonic slams Combat to the ground with his shoulder and follows it up with a devastating mace-blow to the gremlins foot. Before Combat can do more than gasp in pain his leg is crushed and the gremlin passes out.  Turquoise's third blow crushes Combats skull. Anthony charges Unthrottle while another blow glances from his iron boot.  Stunned kobolds are easy meat and Anthony straddles Unthrottle and begins raining down blows with his huge mitts. Albrik's iron axe is deflected by Anthonys iron helmet, then his iron chain mail, then his iron boot. Albrik will break through eventually, but it will be too late for Unthrottle. Jameson dodges and blocks multiple blows from Turquoise and Molegrim, but Molegrims spear tickles his neck for a flesh wound. Jamesons return stroke scratches the molemans chest.  Turquoise from behind distracts Jameson long enough for Molegrim to impale the human. Albrik swings his axe, armor deflects the blow. Anthony, annoyed at the axe causing minor bruises, formulates a plan. Why not just take the axe away from Albrik? Brilliant! Anthony catches Albrik's {iron battle axe} with Anthony's left hand! Well that was easy.  Turquoise crushes his second skull of the match. Now Albrik, who no longer has a weapon, is alone against three barely scratched gladiators.  Molegrim slows down the dodgy little bastard, then Anthony chops off his head with Albriks own weapon. Team Laser Explosion wins with a 4-1 victory. Another win for Home Field Advantage! Kills: Turquoise Tonic: 2 Anthony: 2 Albrik: 1 Combat Log 
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May 13, 2016 16:44
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Anthony nearly doubled his kill tally there. Home advantage seems to spread the limelight to previously unfancied gladiators. Laser Explosion draw level with the Skeletons and Horrorshow, ahead on kills against both. Still all to play for!
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May 13, 2016 16:53
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well that was rude as gently caress
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May 13, 2016 17:15
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Round 16, Fight 7  Go big and/or go home (8-7), the home team, is on the left side of the arena. Snowshank Redemption (A good poster) is a male yeti. He wields a copper large dagger and wears an iron mail shirt, copper greaves, and copper gauntlets. Tyler Durden is Hobbes (habituallyred) is a male tigerman. He is empty handed and wears an iron helm and leather armor. 3 Wolf Moon Shirt (iLonie) is a male werewolf. He wields an iron two-handed sword and wears a leather cap, leather armor, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Slam Whale Willy (potatomanjack) is a male werewolf. He wields a silver mace and a wooden buckler and wears an iron cap, a copper mail shirt, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Cool Rad Awesome Pals (5-10), the visiting team, is on the right side of the arena. Punc Hant (Silverminnow) is a female soldier ant woman. She is empty handed and wears an iron helm, a steel breast plate, iron greaves, and steel gauntlets. BS-45 "Apeliminator" (alcharagia) is a male strangler. He wields a copper pick and wears an iron cap. Jimbo Akimbo (Bad Munki) is a male dwarf. He wields two copper war hammers and wears an iron cap, an iron mail shirt, iron gauntlets, and iron low boots. The Krying Bowbold Returns! (Krysmphoenix) is a female kobold. She wields a steel bow and wears no armor.  Go big and/or go home is a 2.97 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 5781.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 1945.00 dwarfbucks for Cool Rad Awesome Pals. I'm not going to lie: I think this fight is going to be determined by the first arrow. If Krying can't incapacitate one of the hometeam in her first shot, CRAP's position is hopeless.  And there we go. Well, miracles happen. Infrequently. Punc bruises Snowshank's spleen. Snowshank removes one of her non-punching hands. Another round of blows leaves the yeti more bruised and the ant with a shredded shin. Apeliminator swings his pick at the behemoth, but fails to find purchase. By some fluke, Punc's helmet prevents the yeti from outright slaying. Any opening is enough when you're as skilled a pugilist as Punc. She sees a chance, and punches him so hard his carpals break, even through his armor. Is this the beginning of a CRAP rally? Hobbes says no. The tiger squashes one of her other hands, and she's down to half her limbs. Annoyed at him interfering, Snowshank charges the startled tiger and tackles him out of the way, before turning back to Punc and removing a bit more of the first limb. Previously, she still had the arm to the wrist. Now it's more to the elbow. Punc tries to punch the yeti, but Snowshank is faster, blocking the attack with a scratch.  Jimbo has so far been tying up the werewolves, but nothing else has happened there.  Krying's bow has been feathered again. The arrow finds Hobbes' stomach. Not entirely crippling, but at least enough to slow him. It's not in time for Punc, for whom the pain has become too great.  The werewolves abandon Jimbo. Snowshank extinguishes Punc's life. Next target: Apeliminator. This one will probably be even faster; Willy caught the mechanical marvel cleanly in the spine, breaking it completely and paralyzing the little runt. Moon Shirt dices him for the kill.  On the one hand: Jimbo is still the CRAP lynchpin, and he's only barely bruised. On the other hand, he's basically outnumbered four-to-one. On the gripping hand, martial trances can happen. Snowshank puts a copper dagger through the dwarf's femur, which crunches satisfactorily as it's ground to powder.  A third shaft flies.  Krying has missed Hobbes. That's probably it. Snowshank and Willy smash the dwarf to useless jelly. Hobbes bites out his eye. Moon Shirt removes his head. Ah, it's nice to see team-building exercises pay off.  Another arrow. Willy catches it on his shield. He beats on the kobold. So does Hobbes, who seems to have picked up some greaves from somewhere. Moon Shirt comes in with the stab. Snowshank stabs her in the thigh. It's Moon Shirt with the kill, by decapitation. Kills Snowshank Redemption: 1 3 Wolf Moon Shirt: 3 Combat Log
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May 13, 2016 17:44
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 That'll do it for this round. Update your poo poo, Place your betsThat was 3 fights inside of like 4hrs. Well done guys! Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 17:54 on May 13, 2016 |
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May 13, 2016 17:52
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Thank goodness, I'm broke again. That was about $600 bucks worth of uncomfortable for a bit, there. 
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May 13, 2016 18:00
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Hear that noise? That was the sound of the door slamming on the playoff places. There are two matches to go: Every 2nd place side has a 9-7 record or better. Tarantino Film as the sole 8-8 are still in with a shot, but the three 7-9 teams, the Horrorshow, the Skeletons, and Laser Explosion, need a minor miracle, two wins with one of the 2nd places getting two losses. Looking grim! Now, the individual kill leaderboard: 1st=, James Largesausage, In like Flynn, 24 kills 3rd=, Chaz Steadyfist, Dusseldwarf, Snarls Barkley, 22 kills 6th=, Antwoman, 3 Wolf Moon Shirt, 18 kills 8th=, Srirarcha Fartstorm Returns, Albrik the Insignificant, Qwarf, Jimbo Akimbo, 17 kills 12th, Candy Corn Tiger, 16 kills These gladiators are the only ones in with a chance of a share of the ultimate crown for the regular season, as there are eight lives up for the taking between now and the end. The top five have a significant lead over the chasing pack, but anything could still happen.
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May 13, 2016 18:05
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AJ_Impy posted:6th=, Antwoman, 18 kills :EatADickBadMunki: Edit: Why isnt my smiley working?
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May 13, 2016 18:28
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It shows up fine for me
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May 13, 2016 18:29
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Can Lightly Whipped get some gremlin helpers in our final match.
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May 14, 2016 05:35
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Oh... this must've been why I've had an awful headache all day. That explains it...
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May 14, 2016 05:47
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GreyPowerVan posted:Can Lightly Whipped get some gremlin helpers in our final match. I want to see Lightly whipped fight those gremlin helpers, I reckon they'd still lose.
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May 14, 2016 08:05
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I did not expect to see the home teams get a clean 8-0 sweep that last round. PLAYOFF PICTURE Congratulations to Subterranean Animists, the champions of the Bronzestabbed division, and to The Plump Helmets, the champions of the Syrupleaf division, for being the first two teams to clinch division championships! The Plump Helmets have a two-match lead in their division with two matches left, but would still win the tiebreaker over Worker Cooperative even with two 4-0 losses and two 4-0 victories for the Workers, by virtue of having a greater than 16 point advantage in net kill difference at the moment. The Animists have a five-match lead with two matches left, and had already clinched their division some time ago. Hell's Dentists are guaranteed a playoff spot already, but are not guaranteed the Gemclod divisional championship just yet, as The Petting Zoo could mathematically still win it in a tiebreaker. This possibility isn't as far-fetched as it sounds -- if the Dentists lose their next match and the Zoo wins theirs, the Gemclod divisional championship will likely be determined by the Zoo vs. Dentists match in the final round of the regular season! Worse Munki is in an almost identical situation as the Dentists -- they have already clinched a spot in the playoff, but could potentially lose the Boatmurdered division championship to Two Chicks with Dicks in the final match of the regular season if everything goes wrong for them from here on out. With four playoff spots decided, Two Chicks with Dicks, Heavyweight Horrorshow, The Petting Zoo, Spooky Scary Skeletons, Worker Cooperative, A Tarantino Film, Team Laser Explosion, and Go big and/or go home all still have a shot at one of the four remaining playoff spots, with the Zoo and Two Chicks both still having a shot at a division title as well. The remaining four teams, This Bites, A furry, a farmer, and two cows, Cool Rad Awesome Pals, and Lightly Whipped no longer have any shot at the playoffs themselves, but they can still play a spoiler role and wreck another team's playoff hopes. Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 09:00 on May 14, 2016 |
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May 14, 2016 08:55
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Jazzimus Prime posted:
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May 14, 2016 16:36
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Jazzimus Prime posted:
EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS DWARF FORTRESS ARENA CHALLENGE AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE THE PLUMP HELMETS. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I LODGE MY WEAPON FIRMLY IN THE WOUND OR EVEN WHEN I LOSE TO THE SUBTERRANEAN ANIMISTS. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED TO THE PLAYOFFS OF ARMOKS MOST DANGEROUS ARENA. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT ALL CAPS EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY DUNGEON CRAWL STONE SOUP TILESCHAT AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN DUNGEON CRAWL STONE SOUP TILESCHAT CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE TEAM NAMES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY HOME LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNIng
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May 14, 2016 18:59
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Now I can't wait for the inevitable final fight: Lightly Whipped v a team of gremlins armed with sticks.
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May 14, 2016 19:05
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Pickled Tink posted:With them both dead they turn and advance on Goku, who regains consciousness long enough to swear before passing out once again as the four members of The Petting Zoo stand over him. Antwoman cuts off his head. 
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May 14, 2016 19:11
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Pickled Tink posted:With your permission, I may run a losers bracket to determine the ultimate loser (I will gladly accept help from the other commissioners in this). Winners eliminated, losers proceed to the next round. I'm game, though I suspect this might already be decided... Jazzimus Prime posted:I did not expect to see the home teams get a clean 8-0 sweep that last round. I kinda did! I don't think it's going to be 24-0, but turns out the advantage is going to be A Thing. My unbiased opinion is that it'll wind up about 18-6.
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May 14, 2016 19:24
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Not quite enough money to buy iron greaves.
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May 14, 2016 19:28
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lmao
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May 14, 2016 20:03
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Brilliant. I await the release of 'Kill Antwoman' Vols I and II.
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May 14, 2016 20:05
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That image may only load 3/4 but I get it. And I am disgusted. Antwoman doesnt like tigers. She is partial to dwarves. Big beards, dual wielding copper maces, names rhyme with kimbo ajimbo... you know, the usual.
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May 15, 2016 01:13
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holy poo poo this is good
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May 16, 2016 11:14
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This is amazing. I keep seeing the antwoman as having a rabbit head though.
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May 16, 2016 14:46
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Round 17, Fight 3 A furry, a farmer, and two cows (5-11), the home team, is on the left side of the arena. Goku (Galick) is a male tigerman. He is empty handed and wears an iron cap, an iron mail shirt, copper leggings, and leather high boots. Dontellim Pike (John Charity Spring) is a male human. He wields an iron pike and wears an iron helm, leather armor, an iron mail shirt, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Min/Maxotaur (Anchors) is a female minotaur. She wields a copper large dagger and a wooden buckler and wears a copper helm, three copper mail shirts, a copper breast plate, copper greaves, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. Rob Ford (Tirius) is a male minotaur. He wields an iron two-handed sword and a wooden shield and wears a copper helm, an iron mail shirt, copper leggings, copper gauntlets, and leather high boots. Hell's Dentists (12-4), the visiting team, is on the right side of the arena. Madmartigan (gbuchold) is a male molemarian. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears an iron cap and leather gauntlets. The Abominable Gladiator (Pickled Tink) is a female yeti. She is empty handed and wears a bronze cap, a bronze mail shirt, a copper mail shirt, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. In Like Flynn (grobbendonk) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, a copper breast plate, iron greaves, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots. Krog Bonesmasha (astus) is a male elf. He wields a copper war hammer and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, leather armor, iron greaves, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots.  Hell's Dentists is a 1.20 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 2355.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 1961.00 dwarfbucks for A furry, a farmer, and two cows.  Can Hells Dentists win despite the 8-0 homefield advantage that we've seen so far?  The fighters clash with Goku immediately taking Madmartigan to the floor. Madmartigan cuts off the tiger's thumb and gets back to his feet.  Madmartigan swipes Goku in the ribs with his iron pick... ribs are shattered, and Madmartigan yanks on the embedded weapon. Dontellim stabs Abominable in the foot with his pike, and then Rob Ford's sword sends the yeti into dreamland.  Up top Madmartigan straddles Goku and chops his arm so bad that the tiger passes out. Dontellim finishes off Abominable.  Flynn has been dodging backwards from Min/Max's onslaught. Finally Flynn sees an opportunity and chops one of the minotaurs feet out from under him... and then Flynn sees stars for a moment. He was kicked by a cow, and teeth go flying.  Krog ignores Rob Ford and Dontellim, who are swinging at Madmartigan, in order to finish Goku to even the score.  Flynn is now pissed so he chops off Min/Max's arm, sending a buckler to the floor. Krog Bonesmasha can't make up his mind. Madmartigan is in a 1v2 up top, but Krog decides that is fine and moves south to help Flynn.  Madmartigan goes on a little tear of his own. Rob Fords foot crumples beneath him, then an arm is shattered by the moleman. Rob Ford's other arm crumples a moment later... and then Madmartigan switches targets and sends Dontellims leg flying through the air.  Flynns teeth land outside the arena as he chops Min/Max's other arm deeply. Min/Max drops his weapon from numb fingers.  Flynn and Krog stop tormenting Min/Max and both move north to help Madmartigan. Dontellim's foot and arm fly to Madmartigan. Krog apparently wasn't fast enough to get away from Min/Max. The huge minotaur trips up the elf and crushes his ankle before he can escape to the north.  Madmartigan gets a kill when Dontellim stops moving.  This enrages Rob Ford and Madmartigans arm goes flying, followed quickly by his head. Of course Rob Ford now has Krog and Flynn to contend with...  Min/Max has dragged himself toward the melee. What limbs he's not missing have been chopped open and broken. Can Min/Max and the grounded Rob Ford pull an upset?  Hahaha, no. Not a chance. Krog crushes one cow head.  Rob Ford follows quickly to Flynns pick. Hell's Dentists are the first survive the homefield advantage with a 4-2 victory. Kills: Krog: 2 Flynn: 1 Madmartigan: 1 Dontellim: 1 Rob Ford: 1 Combat Log 
Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 14:53 on May 16, 2016 |
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May 16, 2016 14:50
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FF2C remain the only team in which every gladiator is blooded where every fighter is in single figures for kills. In like Flynn has just hit a quarterf-century of murder, 25 kills gets him the top of the leaderboard. This match does nothing for the playoffs: The Dentists already qualified, FF2C already eliminated from contention. Edit: Quarter-century, Armokdammit. AJ_Impy fucked around with this message at 18:47 on May 16, 2016 |
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May 16, 2016 15:22
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AJ_Impy posted:In like Flynn has just hit a half-century of murder Grats on your 50 kills Flynn! 
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May 16, 2016 16:41
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AJ_Impy posted:FF2C remain the only team in which every gladiator is blooded where every fighter is in single figures for kills. In like Flynn has just hit a half-century of murder, 25 kills gets him the top of the leaderboard. Although this match does give Hell's Dentists the championship of the Gemclod division. [b]The Petting Zoo[b] will have to settle for chasing one of the remaining wild-card spots.
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May 16, 2016 17:53
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We got that poo poo on lockdown. Unless SSS murders us this round and we lose the next one. 
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May 16, 2016 17:56
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We're gonna be fiiiine. I for one ain't scared of a bunch of drat skellingtons, though I'm sure they're all very nice people. The match after that one I'm a little less confident about though. Also, this is pretty amazing. Well done! My only complaint is that it's about Antwoman rather than the real star of the team, but that is acceptable.
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May 16, 2016 18:38
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Spermy Smurf posted:Unless SSS murders us this round and we lose the next one. One can only hope.
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May 16, 2016 18:41
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Spermy Smurf posted:We got that poo poo on lockdown. Three Gremlins? Put on your murdering boots.
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May 16, 2016 18:49
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Locomotive breath posted:The match after that one I'm a little less confident about though. gently caress, I thought we were hometeam against Hells Dentists. Welp.
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May 16, 2016 18:57
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| # ? May 9, 2024 22:23 |
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Spermy Smurf posted:gently caress, I thought we were hometeam against Hells Dentists. Welp. Yeah no the next two fights are going to be godawful for us
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May 16, 2016 19:36
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