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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:What's gonna happen if I brush my teeth with toothpaste from 1992? This toothpaste obviously came from Uncle Bruno's massive stash of stupid poo poo, but I think that this toothpaste may actually be okay. Any thoughts before I start using this stuff for real? please god, do not put any of these in your mouth. holy loving poo poo.
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May 17, 2016 03:56
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Brick Dust Otis posted:please god, do not put any of these in your mouth. holy loving poo poo. This is a guy who drinks dumpster booze and eats couch pills. I am pretty sure his system can handle some out-of-date toothpaste*. * I'm mostly kidding. Throw it all away so you don't accidentally eat it during one of your door-kicking spells.
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May 17, 2016 15:00
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Wasn't Abrasso in Fallout?
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May 17, 2016 16:10
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I does show it was clinically tested.
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May 17, 2016 23:35
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Tenzarin posted:I does show it was clinically tested. I wanted to try this myself, so I found a spare tooth (it's one of those "just in case" things) and decided to smear the ancient toothpaste over it to see how the tooth would react to it. I squeezed some of the toothpaste onto a plate - the paste is surprisingly runny and it has decayed into chemical components as one poster already predicted - some gross translucent slime has separated from the white stuff, and there's something brown and runny in there too. Hell, my teeth were afraid of this poo poo so I cancelled the test, and I'll hold on to the tooth - you never know when you're gonna need a spare tooth anyway.   This is the flip side of the aluminum tube - notice anything strange?  That's right, absolutely no mention of the manufacturer - this toothpaste is refugee poo poo that came from botched production runs and couldn't be sold as 'brand x'. The factory obviously found a convenient place to dump their unsellable garbage, getting a tax writeoff for charity donations, and they took extra care that nobody could identify where the defective toothpaste is coming from in the first place - so as not to damage the sales of their actual store products. Most of the refugee foodstuffs were marked as "NOT FOR SALE", but as you might have guessed, 90% of this stuff was immediately traded to the not-quite-eager locals for a few coins. Quite a lot of food was thrown out since it was both inedible and unsellable - for example, there were these neat little red sardine cans from Spain, REX and ISABEL brand, that not even my cat would eat since the fish had a profoundly acrid and bitter taste. And there was this toothpaste, aptly named "FRRRRESSHHHHH" (srsly) that was so pumped with mint and artificial flavor that it caused intense physical burning in your mouth. And don't get me started on chloramine tabs. These were a direct insult to both the refugees and the locals - someone in the west seriously thought we were some kind of third world shithole with no running water. You were supposed to put a chloramine tablet in a barrel of water (ostensibly rainwater) but where the hell would you get a barrel or an oil drum in the first place? Sheesh. 
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May 18, 2016 05:18
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GAY 4 ORGANS
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:I wanted to try this myself, so I found a spare tooth... Sheesh. You are amazing. Just loving amazing!
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May 18, 2016 07:49
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:so I found a spare tooth (it's one of those "just in case" things) 
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May 18, 2016 08:38
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Mods plese change the thread title already.
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May 18, 2016 08:40
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:I wanted to try this myself, so I found a spare tooth (it's one of those "just in case" things)  Palpek posted:Mods plese change the thread title already. The thread title pretty much needs to be updated with every post of his. ASF, please never stop. 
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May 18, 2016 13:53
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whose tooth is it??
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May 18, 2016 16:59
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fun hater posted:whose tooth is it?? It's a spare tooth
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May 18, 2016 20:27
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Ok, I'll bite. Fatbeard, why do you have a spare tooth that you are keeping "just in case"? "Just in case" of what exactly? Besides testing a 25 years old toothpaste from your crazy late uncle's barnhouse, I mean of course you'll need it in that case.
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May 18, 2016 20:53
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Disco Infiva posted:Ok, I'll bite. I see what you did there. 
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May 18, 2016 23:41
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In case dentistry figures out how to put it back in? :dunno:
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May 18, 2016 23:48
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fun hater posted:whose tooth is it?? Seriouspost: it's my once-impacted wisdom tooth, had it yanked out of my head back in 2003 or 2004, which wais like.... uhh 12 years ago? The tooth is completely healthy so I decided to keep it since there's a story behind that tooth as well and tossing it out like trash would've been a shame, really. Disco Infiva posted:Fatbeard, why do you have a spare tooth that you are keeping "just in case"? "Just in case" of what exactly? I kept it as a conversation starter and as a prop in humorous situations. 
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May 19, 2016 04:00
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nice tooth
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May 19, 2016 05:40
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So do you have any other treasures that have lasted the years of deliriant abuse? 12 years is a long time to hold onto and know where it is after many drug blackouts
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May 19, 2016 06:56
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What the gently caress, Croatia?
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May 19, 2016 07:50
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That toothpaste looks like it could give you a nice high if smoked OP.
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May 19, 2016 10:26
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Please throw away the old tooth
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May 19, 2016 15:32
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Seriouspost: it's my once-impacted wisdom tooth, had it yanked out of my head back in 2003 or 2004, which wais like.... uhh 12 years ago? The tooth is completely healthy so I decided to keep it since there's a story behind that tooth as well and tossing it out like trash would've been a shame, really. I'm having a wisdom tooth pulled, tomorrow morning. I was planning to take it home with me. I propose an international tooth exchange.
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May 20, 2016 01:11
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To this day, I'm still very deeply upset they threw away my wisdom teeth while I was still asleep from the gas when I got mine removed. I never even got to see them. Jerks! If you want to keep your teeth, make sure to tell them ahead of time not to throw them away apparently.
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May 20, 2016 01:27
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You referenced your cat. How long have you had your cat? How has it survived cohabitation with you? Love this thread and I like you ASF.
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May 20, 2016 18:16
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What was ASFB's original title for this thread?
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May 20, 2016 18:45
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Shadow0 posted:To this day, I'm still very deeply upset they threw away my wisdom teeth while I was still asleep from the gas when I got mine removed. I never even got to see them. Jerks! Some states won't even let you keep your teeth at all, it's considered like biomedical waste or something. Boo to that. They threw mine away while I was conked out, too.
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May 20, 2016 20:25
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Skratte posted:Some states won't even let you keep your teeth at all, it's considered like biomedical waste or something. Boo to that. They threw mine away while I was conked out, too. They probably keep them all and do something really cool with them and tell you they "threw them out" just like they told you "Mister Kibbles went to go live on a farm where he can run and play."
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May 20, 2016 20:28
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Big City Drinkin posted:What was ASFB's original title for this thread? I think it was something like: "Croatia: Is it a good place to live?"
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May 21, 2016 08:38
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WaKa WaKa posted:I think it was something like: "Croatia: Is it a good place to live?" Yeah it used to be 'Is Croatia a great place to live?'. Turns out that it actually is!
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May 21, 2016 08:51
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homullus posted:They probably keep them all and do something really cool with them and tell you they "threw them out" just like they told you "Mister Kibbles went to go live on a farm where he can run and play." They probably save them all up then cash in and get really rich from the tooth fairy!
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May 21, 2016 14:48
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Seriouspost: it's my once-impacted wisdom tooth, had it yanked out of my head back in 2003 or 2004, which wais like.... uhh 12 years ago? The tooth is completely healthy so I decided to keep it since there's a story behind that tooth as well and tossing it out like trash would've been a shame, really. Thoughts like this is how uncle Bruno got started. Be careful.
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May 21, 2016 15:18
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That actually wasn't even the original. There's no way to figure out what the original was but I remember it being way, way too tame for the subject matter.
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May 22, 2016 05:54
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stringball posted:So do you have any other treasures that have lasted the years of deliriant abuse? 12 years is a long time to hold onto and know where it is after many drug blackouts I'm not even going to list ancient computer poo poo that I have laying around - I already sold / jettisoned more interesting and bulky stuff before I moved out of the Crackden, such as 40MB stepper disk drives I fished out of the dumpsters. I do have a tremendous brickphone from 1996 though - it survived the Army with me and I decided to keep it as a memento of sorts. It was immersed in water, dropped countless times onto the concrete floor, and the best thing was that the penultimate owner gave me that phone as a hand-me-down after his dog chewed the gently caress out of it. It needs a new battery pack but is otherwise in good working condition. It's an Ericsson GH688 (with dog teeth marks and chewed up external antenna) Paineopticon posted:You referenced your cat. How long have you had your cat? How has it survived cohabitation with you? It was a stray cat whom Uncle Bruno fed and I soon became best buddies with Cat the cat. The cat survived a close encounter with a moving automobile, his spinal cord was severed near his butt which apparently took out his sense of touch (for some reason Cat could still walk, albeit with a rather odd, waddling gait), his tail was shortened by about 1/3 from the tip, and he dripped poo poo and piss since he had very little muscle tone in his rear end. You could tickle him all you wanted, and he wouldn't even notice. Cat was kinda defective but he was the sweetest buddy and I ended up feeding and taking care of him. He was an incredibly cute tuxedo kitty, and VERY vocal - he'd lie down on the stairs, staring into some invisible, floating entity that only he could see, and trill. For hours. He'd always try to climb into my lap, and I obviously wouldn't let him do that (lest I got cat poo poo and piss all over my lap), but Cat and I soon worked out a compromise: I'd sit on the stairs with him, he'd put his head and front paws into my lap while keeping his butt on the ground. It's been almost 20 years since, but goddammit, I still miss that cat.  defectivemonkey posted:That actually wasn't even the original. There's no way to figure out what the original was but I remember it being way, way too tame for the subject matter. Ehhhh I think it was something like "I need to find $300 post-haste or the power will be cut", which was a problem-of-the-day back when I first started the thread; it was obviously just the tip of the iceberg. 
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May 22, 2016 07:41
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You know, emotional addiction to drugs can be just as hard to beat as the actual physical addiction, especially if you've heard the calls of opiate sirens beckoning you to pop more pills. I'm not physically addicted to anything atm, but you can bet that whenever I'm not hands-down high that I'm thinking about getting high, how to get pills so I'd get high, or how to fake an injury so I'd get more pills (to get high.) Well drat, I often don't even have to fake injuries - when you're stumbling around blitzed out of your mind, you're bound to get hurt sooner or later. For example, a few days ago I was bumming around the bus station, blasted out of my mind on Tramadol, when I apparently tripped over something or someone - I of course can't remember clearly, but I fell to the floor without breaking the fall - I whacked my kneecap up against the floor (ouch!) and rammed my head right into the hapless trashcan (OUCH.) Nothing is seriously broken, fortunately, but I can barely walk now and my meniscus has started clicking upon each stride. Tomorrow afternoon I'll see my GP and ask for - you guessed it - more pills! The cycle of drug usage is a real Ouroboros. The longest period of time I've spent clean was around eight to nine months, after chemo, but I sure as hell didn't stop thinking about my goddamn, yet oh-so-precious pills. I caved eventually. I can't even remember what prompted the cycle to resume.
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May 22, 2016 08:34
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Ehhhh I think it was something like "I need to find $300 post-haste or the power will be cut", which was a problem-of-the-day back when I first started the thread; it was obviously just the tip of the iceberg. Yes!! It as something about needing $300. And defective cat sounds like a good cat. I have a loud cat (right next to me right now) who will sometimes stand upstairs and SCREAM until we tell her where we are. Then she brings us a toy.
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May 22, 2016 15:29
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i'd have thought you would have a pretty decent tramadol resistance built up, ASF. that stuff is like a kid's level starter opiate
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May 22, 2016 15:47
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Efexeye posted:i'd have thought you would have a pretty decent tramadol resistance built up, ASF. that stuff is like a kid's level starter opiate My opiate addiction can be described as "smoldering" right now - I have to take around 500mg worth of trams to feel anything at all. Fortunately, my roaring junkie days are well behind me - I used to dose half a large sub (4mg) daily for several years. I was taught a big lesson when I was forced to kick that addiction (it was, uh, "fun") and I have since learned to make large pauses between opiate binges so I wouldn't get hooked again. And that's a good thing (probably.)
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May 22, 2016 16:11
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:I have to take around 500mg worth of trams to feel anything at all. Just wanted to elaborate on this, I'm fully aware that this sends me comfortably into the seizure zone. My fall could well be attributed to a momentary loss of consciousness - as it has happened quite a few times already. Ask me about cigarette burn holes on my tracksuits.
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May 22, 2016 16:17
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Just wanted to elaborate on this, I'm fully aware that this sends me comfortably into the seizure zone. My fall could well be attributed to a momentary loss of consciousness - as it has happened quite a few times already. Ask me about cigarette burn holes on my tracksuits. So the tracksuit stereotype is real?
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May 22, 2016 16:43
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Shadow0 posted:So the tracksuit stereotype is real? Yup. I'm wearing a tracksuit right now as I'm typing this. The strange thing is that I wouldn't have noticed the stereotype if my friend from Russia hadn't pointed it out to me. It's hilarious because it's true.
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May 22, 2016 16:47
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What was the cat's name?
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May 23, 2016 00:38
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