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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:That's the rumor. Don't they know we're already dead inside?
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May 17, 2016 03:33
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That feeling when you use the wrong coloured tabs and your supervisor tells you to redo them all.
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May 17, 2016 04:49
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LordPants posted:That feeling when you use the wrong coloured tabs and your supervisor tells you to redo them all. Are you a paralegal?
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May 17, 2016 12:32
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:Are you a paralegal? I'm going to guess trainee solicitor. Less well paid and you have to spend tens of thousands in extra school to even apply for it. But he gets to be a lawyer for only 2 years of indentured servitude 
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May 17, 2016 18:29
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Just curious, because I don't tab my binders myself.
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May 17, 2016 18:31
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There's a guy trying to burn down the marital estate now. From $132,000 in community funds, he spends $52,000 on legal fees. I tell his wife to pull 60 and stuff it in her account. Other side flips the gently caress out, I tell them to stuff it, they agree to put it in my trust account. I tell them "gently caress you, I'm billing from it because I've only been paid $5,000.00." They're throwing an absolute shitfit and i can't wait for them to tell the Judge that I shouldn't get paid despite him paying his second lawyer a $30,000 up-front retainer.
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May 17, 2016 18:37
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:Just curious, because I don't tab my binders myself. Barristers aren't allowed to tab binders. They just end up covered in hole reinforcers and toner.
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May 17, 2016 19:56
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Guys I've eaten so much pie, but everyone wants to give me more pie. I've gotten like 15 emails today saying wow, great job eating that pie. Can you eat this pie before COB today? I spent 280 hours eating pie last month. Go to law school.
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May 17, 2016 21:12
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Omerta posted:
What is your billable rate? I'll assume $300. You made your firm $84,000. What do they pay you in a month? $15k? Good margin for someone hahaha
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May 17, 2016 22:19
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Hahaha drat Phil.
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May 18, 2016 00:02
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Phil Moscowitz posted:What is your billable rate? I'll assume $300. You made your firm $84,000. My rate is more than than. More pie per person = more profit per partner! I, for one, enjoy being at the base of a pyramid scheme.
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May 18, 2016 00:18
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Phil Moscowitz posted:What is your billable rate? I'll assume $300. You made your firm $84,000. Good luck generating that kind of business on your own, though.
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May 18, 2016 00:29
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CaptainScraps posted:Good luck generating that kind of business on your own, though. That's right. Whores never think that pimps provide a valuable service, until they try to generate customers on their own. The next thing you know, they're being beaten with belts while having cigarettes put out on their asses. (For purposes of clarity, real law firm associates are high end whores serving Elliot Spitzer. "I can do this on my own, or with a couple of buddies" lawyers are family law attorneys defending wife beating men that drive excessively large pickup trucks but who somehow cannot pay their legal bills.) (For additional clarity, "whores" are associates. "Pimps" are partners. Clients put cigarettes out on your rear end.)
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May 18, 2016 14:34
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SlyFrog posted:That's right. Whores never think that pimps provide a valuable service, until they try to generate customers on their own. I can't remember the last time I heard such a spot on analysis
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May 18, 2016 16:10
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In honor of my 100th job application since unemployment, here's a form I had to fill out on the application site: gently caress youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu (of course I didn't actually submit these answers but i really wanted to) mastershakeman fucked around with this message at 19:06 on May 18, 2016 |
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May 18, 2016 18:58
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Hi thread, did I miss anything good in the last 70 pages? I've returned because I just found out the only other associate who does the same type of work as me at my firm is leaving in two weeks. As of now she realistically does 70% of the real work of that type, inclusive of the partners, and she has around five years of experience. I'm in my first year out of law school. They are currently preparing me to take over what she does hahahahahahahah
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May 18, 2016 19:09
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Vox Nihili posted:Hi thread, did I miss anything good in the last 70 pages? I hope your firms Seamless selection is decent.
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May 18, 2016 19:13
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mastershakeman posted:In honor of my 100th job application since unemployment . . . . My (unsolicited) advice is to do yourself a favor and stop counting the number of job apps. That kind of information can get pretty demoralizing.
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May 18, 2016 20:07
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Please tell me this is for a non-profit or something and not an ID firm.
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May 18, 2016 20:15
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Blakkout posted:My (unsolicited) advice is to do yourself a favor and stop counting the number of job apps. That kind of information can get pretty demoralizing. Seriously. During my stretch of un and under employment after law scho, it loving blew. However, maybe unemployment makes you keep count?
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May 18, 2016 20:52
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joat mon posted:Please tell me this is for a non-profit or something and not an ID firm. What's ID stand for? Its a firm, yea. The joy of outsourced hr "talent management " websites. At least it wasn't taleo. And yea I gotta do at least 5 a week and log 'em with the state unemployment site so I have a big spreadsheet of them all.
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May 18, 2016 20:58
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mastershakeman posted:What's ID stand for? Its a firm, yea. The joy of outsourced hr "talent management " websites. At least it wasn't taleo. Insurance Defense.
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May 18, 2016 21:26
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joat mon posted:Insurance Defense. Ah. Nope, a condo/hoa firm.
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May 18, 2016 21:34
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I'm working at a company dealing with patents, and thought I've got some aptitude for this stuff, let's look up how to go full bore into becoming a patent attorney! Let's see what the goons say! Hmm, guess I'll pass on that brief idea.
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May 19, 2016 02:35
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Ravendas posted:I'm working at a company dealing with patents, and thought I've got some aptitude for this stuff, let's look up how to go full bore into becoming a patent attorney! I mean, if you have the background for it it's not terrible, but if you just want to write patents you might as well just become a patent agent instead of an attorney - all the patent writing fun (it isn't), none of the law school debt.
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May 19, 2016 02:52
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Kalman posted:I mean, if you have the background for it it's not terrible, but if you just want to write patents you might as well just become a patent agent instead of an attorney - all the patent writing fun (it isn't), none of the law school debt. Hey I think it's fun. But I also only draft an application like every two months, as I only get assigned "unusual" new apps. Last application was about physical neutral networks, and it was interesting as hell. Anyway, good advice. I'm not an attorney (or even an agent) and I'm balls deep in the patent life. Actually my company was considering sending me to a US law school, but since I don't live in the US and am not a US citizen, there's no point for me to obtain either qualification as I still would not be able to practice in front of the USPTO.
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May 19, 2016 03:48
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Was there a resolution to the Toona the Cat saga?
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May 19, 2016 04:07
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LordPants posted:Was there a resolution to the Toona the Cat saga? I think he quit drinking then didn't quit drinking after like a week.
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May 19, 2016 04:10
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Did he leave his wife for the study partner?
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May 19, 2016 04:14
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LordPants posted:Did he leave his wife for the study partner? No, but he maybe signed up to jerk off his professor every week.
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May 19, 2016 04:37
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'sup law goons. Someone wanna fill me in on the last month?
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May 19, 2016 11:51
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No drama really. Msm had a baby and lost his job, blarzgh got a proby for being funny, slyfrog dropping truth bombs, and toona still in law school.
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May 19, 2016 11:57
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:No drama really. Msm had a baby and lost his job, blarzgh got a proby for being funny, slyfrog dropping truth bombs, and toona still in law school. That's....mildly disappointing. Except Msm...that outright blows.
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May 19, 2016 12:05
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Eh, taking care of a premie baby is a lot easier when you're unemployed. Plus my wife just had perforated peptic ulcer out of nowhere that couldve killed her in a few more days if she hadn't demanded a cat scan from her dr instead of some pain pills. If any of y'all have acid reflux consistently go get a CT scan/endoscopy!
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May 19, 2016 12:33
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Any DC patent people have an opening for a really good paralegal? Wife's office might be shutting down
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May 19, 2016 13:43
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Oh and WJ's wife's firm may be shutting down. That's new news, though. I think we also discouraged a 0L, but they all run together at this point.
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May 19, 2016 14:30
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Not the firm, just their DC office
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May 19, 2016 14:36
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:No drama really. Msm had a baby and lost his job, blarzgh got a proby for being funny, slyfrog dropping truth bombs, and toona still in law school. And Scraps is practicing Guerrilla Family Law now.
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May 19, 2016 15:06
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Better than gorilla family law! I'm traveling 400 miles today to conduct a 5m hearing over $3.00. State efficiency!
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May 19, 2016 15:21
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blarzgh posted:And Scraps is practicing Guerrilla Family Law now. Yesterday I had a mediation near the courthouse and accidentally booked a trial that day. When the mediator left my room, I ran, settled the other case in the courthouse and came back to mediation before the mediator came back. Family law!
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May 19, 2016 15:35
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