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So was David Bowie
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Jun 1, 2016 03:07
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Yennefer was my main bitch, but lol if you didn't bone anything that breathes. Geralt's a pimp.
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Jun 1, 2016 07:10
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TontoCorazon posted:Yennefer was my main bitch, but lol if you didn't bone anything that breathes. Geralt's a pimp. There was a blond sorceress and I said to my girlfriend "I heard you could do a quest and you sex her" and she said "hell yeah, show me" and that led to literally like six hours of sidequesting and mainquesting for her before you get sex.
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Jun 1, 2016 08:21
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bewilderment posted:There was a blond sorceress and I said to my girlfriend "I heard you could do a quest and you sex her" and she said "hell yeah, show me" and that led to literally like six hours of sidequesting and mainquesting for her before you get sex. Tell your girlfriend to call me
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Jun 1, 2016 09:58
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The Witcher really knows what makes their demographic tick when it comes to things like that. Do an endless series of quests for a plus two greatsword? Goddamn, not again. Do an endless series of quests for titties? Sign me the gently caress up.
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Jun 1, 2016 10:48
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Something that Witcher 3 does that I like is when you make a potion/oil/bomb it stays made. You don't get 2 bombs, you get 2 charges of the bomb that refill when you rest. THat means that if there is a potion that requires an annoying or rare ingredient to find you only need to find enough of it for one dose, then the potion just refills. Way better than Elder Scrolls with "Hope you have 99 of everything if you want to use alchemy!" Also the Crones were pretty cool. Not sure if they're going for the Clotho, Lachesis, Atropos reference or not.
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Jun 1, 2016 11:15
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BioEnchanted posted:Not sure if they're going for the Clotho, Lachesis, Atropos reference or not.
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Jun 1, 2016 11:21
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It was a shame I had to sell the game before I finished their quest thoroughly. Worth the price of admission alone, those three. The music and everything. So cool.
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Jun 1, 2016 13:10
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bewilderment posted:There was a blond sorceress and I said to my girlfriend "I heard you could do a quest and you sex her" and she said "hell yeah, show me" and that led to literally like six hours of sidequesting and mainquesting for her before you get sex. Every now and then, I get the urge to try Witcher 3. Then posts like these remind me why I never even finished the first one.
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Jun 1, 2016 17:17
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I own 3 but have never played more than 2 hours of it in the last year. It seems like a real fun game and I like the things people say about it, but everyone I try I get, I don't know, discouraged. Tips for someone who keeps putting it down? I want to play and hit monsters.
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Jun 1, 2016 17:24
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Just put the difficulty to easy. Thsts what I did.
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Jun 1, 2016 17:28
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I like that 2 had the arena at the start that set your difficulty level according to performance. Unfortunately I failed to kill anything, was set to "lower than a baby" difficulty, and promptly uninstalled out of shame.
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Jun 1, 2016 17:41
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Professor Wayne posted:Every now and then, I get the urge to try Witcher 3. Then posts like these remind me why I never even finished the first one. It's really not as sleazy as that makes it sound. If you're okay with Mass Effect then it's far less cringey than anything Bioware ever made
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Jun 1, 2016 18:06
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I think the funniest part is that, as the loading screen keeps insisting, there is no risk as Witchers and Sorceresses are barren, so he can gently caress as much as he wants and no consequences. It's like it was written by a fraternity.
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Jun 1, 2016 18:11
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No STDs in Witcherworld?
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Jun 1, 2016 18:35
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I may be wrong but weren't STD's very regional in ye old days? I also think there were less of them because of that, but what do I know.
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Jun 1, 2016 18:37
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2house2fly posted:No STDs in Witcherworld? That's probably what the potions are for. And Witchers and Sorceresses are probably OP enough to not have to worry much about diseases anyway but the game doesn't go into it so neither shall I.
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Jun 1, 2016 18:38
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Witcher are sterile and immune to any kind of disease so no STDs. It's established in the first book. Polish writers gonna pole.
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Jun 1, 2016 18:41
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I recall finishing the Witcher 2 twice, but never completing the tutorial level because an event flag fails to trigger.
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Jun 1, 2016 18:51
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omg chael crash posted:I own 3 but have never played more than 2 hours of it in the last year. It seems like a real fun game and I like the things people say about it, but everyone I try I get, I don't know, discouraged. If combat is what is holding you back, there are two big things to remember: You can only parry humans (with very very few exceptions), and you are NOT a metal clad warrior. Witchers are made to stab stuff in the butt, both with swords and with other stuff  If it's the sex, keep in mind that Geralt doesn't just bone everything that moves. It's usually sorceresses or high ranking noblewomen who want to bone down with a ripped dude who can't get them sick or pregnant. Sure, you CAN go to a brothel, but that costs precious money. Really, the game makes it pretty obvious when you're going for hanky panky, and is fairly easy to avoid. You're going to see boobs regardless, but sometimes women don't wear shirts. If it isn't either of those, then just remember this is a mostly open world RPG, not an action adventure game. You will have quests and levels, and stuff WILL be too hard for you to fight if you jump the gun. Come back later, read the codex entries to learn monster weaknesses, and use them.
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Jun 1, 2016 21:21
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Come on, it's not like the books go 'witchers are immune to disease HEY GUYS INCLUDING STDS HEY THEN HE BANGED ANOTHER PEASANT' He's immune to disease because he kills carrion eaters up to his waist in sewage in ye olde medieval plague city And Yennefer is basically one slip of her self-delusion away from having a complete breakdown over her sterility. Strategic Tea has a new favorite as of 21:54 on Jun 1, 2016 |
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Jun 1, 2016 21:50
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What I'm saying is that all the sleaze (or at least, anything worse than your average Game of Thrones episode) is basically from a) the horribly judged cards from the first game and b) people extrapolating from the reputation the whole series got because of the drat cards. I rate Witcher sleaze at roughly 0.6 Games of Throneses
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Jun 1, 2016 21:52
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By the way, I get that Witchers are infertile due to the bizarre experiments that make them such badasses, that's obvious. But why Sorceresses? What is it about their magic that makes them infertile, or is it just because of the overabundance of magic 'irradiating' them?
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Jun 1, 2016 21:54
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Any videos or images of Geralts witcher donger in full view? No tasteful hidden behind a desk bullshit, I mean there's no mistaking what you're looking at? Asking for a friend
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Jun 1, 2016 21:56
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 (alas no, maybe in the dlc?  )
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Jun 1, 2016 21:59
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Strategic Tea posted:Come on, it's not like the books go 'witchers are immune to disease HEY GUYS INCLUDING STDS HEY THEN HE BANGED ANOTHER PEASANT' In Witcher 2 I remember some mention that Witchers are basically treated as freaks who nobody likes, which makes me wonder if the consequence-free sex thing is meant to actually be a sad note, since it's the closest thing to a human connection they can probably get.
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Jun 1, 2016 21:59
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Have there even been witchers in the series who start getting really snippy with people as opposed to the "Reserved Badass" personality? Like a peasant gives him a hard time about his weird genetics and he just responds "Oh, do you want to go fight that Griffon over there? You're welcome to try. You can even borrow my silver sword if you like! I'll just be standing over there, watching and laughing... "
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Jun 1, 2016 22:05
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Strategic Tea posted:Come on, it's not like the books go 'witchers are immune to disease HEY GUYS INCLUDING STDS HEY THEN HE BANGED ANOTHER PEASANT' No the books literally do say that he's immune to disease including STDs because mutation. Pretty sure it was The Last Wish that says it. It doesn't make a huge deal of it, just speaks of it matter of factly. BioEnchanted posted:Have there even been witchers in the series who start getting really snippy with people as opposed to the "Reserved Badass" personality? Like a peasant gives him a hard time about his weird genetics and he just responds "Oh, do you want to go fight that Griffon over there? You're welcome to try. You can even borrow my silver sword if you like! I'll just be standing over there, watching and laughing... It's a myth in-universe that witchers lose their personality because of the mutations, but even in the novels they declare its basically bullshit because all the witchers you meet have very different personalities. I remember some of geralt's wolf buddies being snarky.
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Jun 1, 2016 22:13
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BioEnchanted posted:Have there even been witchers in the series who start getting really snippy with people as opposed to the "Reserved Badass" personality? Like a peasant gives him a hard time about his weird genetics and he just responds "Oh, do you want to go fight that Griffon over there? You're welcome to try. You can even borrow my silver sword if you like! I'll just be standing over there, watching and laughing... Fairly sure Geralt can have responses like that in a couple of quests. He's not some hard-rear end stoic, he's just a guy who sometimes loses his patience and is mean to people who are mean to him but amicable and pleasant to people who treat him well.
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Jun 1, 2016 22:33
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BioEnchanted posted:Have there even been witchers in the series who start getting really snippy with people as opposed to the "Reserved Badass" personality? Like a peasant gives him a hard time about his weird genetics and he just responds "Oh, do you want to go fight that Griffon over there? You're welcome to try. You can even borrow my silver sword if you like! I'll just be standing over there, watching and laughing... There's a mission (I think its from the new dlc) of a witcher from the school of the cat that gets fed up with some rear end in a top hat town leader jipping him on the pay he's owed and then trying to kill him in a barn and snaps and massacres the whole town. Dude finally had it.
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Jun 1, 2016 22:52
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BioEnchanted posted:By the way, I get that Witchers are infertile due to the bizarre experiments that make them such badasses, that's obvious. But why Sorceresses? What is it about their magic that makes them infertile, or is it just because of the overabundance of magic 'irradiating' them? If I remember correctly it was a self-imposed sterility imposed by the original founders to prevent any sorceresses trying to establish a royal lineage and thus consolidate too much power.
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Jun 1, 2016 23:29
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TontoCorazon posted:There's a mission (I think its from the new dlc) of a witcher from the school of the cat that gets fed up with some rear end in a top hat town leader jipping him on the pay he's owed and then trying to kill him in a barn and snaps and massacres the whole town. Dude finally had it. It was from one of the free dlcs they released during the weeks after launch. Fun thing about that; if you approach him for the first time while wearing a set of cat school armour he'll comment on it. Something along the lines of "What's this? A wolf in cat's clothing?"
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Jun 1, 2016 23:37
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This page is solid gold, so many people's delicate american sensibilities triggered by virtual sex.  I mean I can understand not wanting to play Witcher because of say the combat which has largely been garbage, but because of the potential possibilities of having virtual sex? Especially when on this very page a person just mentioned he had to go through 6 hours of sidequest to get to it? Like its a drat good game that could fill pages of this thread with little poo poo, none of it relating to optional quests to bang someone, stop being so goddamn sensitive over stupid poo poo.
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Jun 2, 2016 00:29
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Alteisen posted:This page is solid gold, so many people's delicate american sensibilities triggered by virtual sex. How dare you, sir?
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Jun 2, 2016 00:34
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The writing in the Witcher is okay.
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Jun 2, 2016 00:39
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Sorry to derail the Polish titty chat, but my new favorite little thing about Doom (sorry, DOOM) is that the multiplayer lobby has a one-click Mute All function.
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Jun 2, 2016 00:54
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Alteisen posted:This page is solid gold, so many people's delicate american sensibilities triggered by virtual sex. Wow, you managed to both defend boring pointless sex scenes by calling the people criticizing them puritans and pointed out that sex and violence are different things that are treated differently in media. All you need to do is work age of consent laws into your post somehow and you'd knock out all three  about sex in media in one fell sweep.
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Jun 2, 2016 00:57
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Wintermutant posted:Sorry to derail the Polish titty chat, but my new favorite little thing about Doom (sorry, DOOM) is that the multiplayer lobby has a one-click Mute All function. How dare you derail polish titty chat.
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Jun 2, 2016 00:58
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Did someone say polished titties? 
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Jun 2, 2016 01:03
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Alteisen posted:This page is solid gold, so many people's delicate american sensibilities triggered by virtual sex. This is like 5 posts before posting about Tali sweat
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Jun 2, 2016 01:13
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