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Kurieg posted:Apparently one of the lesser powers of the G-Cells is the ability to bleach your clothes out when you die? Nomura thought it looked cool. Literally, that's the reason that the Degradation affects clothes. I don't know what goes through that man's mind.
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May 27, 2016 17:03
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Chapter 19: Life’s a Beach Zack, you just defeated two out of the three most powerful people in the world including your best friend, what are you going to do now? I’m going to At least after a bit of brooding. Also we get to look forward to using a new and exciting weapon!  Click to Watch  I apprehended Holander in Modeo and turned him over to the Company. After that, the company put me on standby. That was a while ago now… Shinra is apparently in disarray right now.  As little as anyone would want to mention it, Zack is a pretty prime target to go bugfuck and wreck Shinra’s face right now. They just spent months on one rebellion vs. people Zack just took down. Nothing short of Sephiroth could stop him if he decided to go “gently caress you, boss!” so probably a good idea to keep eyes on him. But none of them ever mention Angeal or Genesis. Almost as if they never existed… Is that how little SOLDIER is worth these days? What do I have left to fight for? The big question Angeal could never answer for him. He either needs to find it himself or realize he’s been running the wrong way down a long path the last few years.  Music: A Moment of Courtesy  Of course. It had to be squats.  Zack rocking that scrawny anime guy ripped look  No, never mind that!  I do appreciate that they actually went out of their way to make a fair deal of alternate models. Zack has this for about 10 minutes, Cissnei’s swimsuit is never seen again, and we’ll still have to have the new in uniform look for Zack due to his haircut even if that is only a head.  You could use some R&R Director Lazard’s not in. He’s been missing for a while now. It was Lazard who was funding Hollander’s research using the company’s money.Well, that’s a turn out of nowhere. Also it really changes the raid on the Tower It also raises a lot of questions about how they used Zack. Was Lazard just hoping someone would eventually kill him and they just grievously underestimated his potential? Were they putting a rising star on the job to look like it was being handled as best as they could?  We’re interrogating Hollander, so we should learn more soon. What’s wrong with them… Hm? The truth lies within each person. But even the truth seems suspect once it leaves their mouths.. Hmph. Cissnei, go do something. How do you know that? Am I being watched? Well, yes. You just said so in the chapter opening.  That girl is an Ancient. The only one left in the world. I’d like to imagine there are at least a few more random Ancient descendants in the world that just think they are loving crazy because the sky is talking to them and the like. You didn’t know?  The only one left in the world, huh…  Ah Tseng, you always know how to ruin a moment. Music: Encounter  Genesis copies!  Well, good on you for telling that through all the scuba gear.  And you thought the new and exciting weapon would be the Buster Sword! Umbrellas for life! I think it actually has no effect on your actual stats. But yes, you wield an umbrella this fight. -End Video-  G Divers are mildly annoying because they come in decent size packs and have one of those machine guns that can chain stun you if a bunch start firing back to back. Not really threatening at all though. They can also do a kick at you with their flipper feet. We have to kill something like 20 of these dorks.  Just as Sephiroth trained him to do.  Zack shows off the real power of SOLDIER: Umbrellas!  But Genesis… ...Maybe Genesis is still around, too. Well, we DID let a guy that can fly “Fall to his doom” so anything is certainly possible in the land of mediocre writing! Huh? Yeah, and…? The river of souls that circles our planet. Perhaps Genesis’s soul is… Oooor he could be pulling a Sephiroth and locked up in the lifestream somewhere. Though I have no idea why that is Tseng’s first guess.  Or a call forward to a game further in the time line! In any case, your vacation is over, Zack. Junon is under attack by an unknown force. You’re going there with me to investigate. Our vacation.    Someone’s really thrown a party in Junon. Also we finally have the Buster Sword on us, the real new interesting weapon! Which I also don’t think actually affects the stats at all? Genesis copies here, too! They’re just running wild! Back is our good friend the red reskinned Shinra Trooper version of Genesis Copies.  His presence here and this attack can’t be unrelated. Well, Costa Del Sol was also attacked and it is on a completely different continent. So it COULD be.  Sorry, we still have a few chapters left, Zack. We’ll begin evacuating the residents. Zack, you find Hollander and make sure he’s kept safe.  Hollander has access to top-secret information. The president insists that his safety be priority one. After Director Lazard’s sudden disappearance, SOLDIER’s chain of command has been shaky at best. This attack is an attempt to exploit that weakness. Zack, you must protect Hollander. Hollander is currently being held in a detention center on the 8th level of Upper Junon. Thanks, Cissnei, for saying that instead of “Find Hollander” like your boss. You can use the emergency elevator to go up. It’s at the end of this path. Zack, We’re counting on you.  Understood. Getting to the other end just is a pile of random encounters with G Troopers.  When we get off the elevator at the next floor some 2nds and 3rds are down for the count on the ground.   Haha holy poo poo this gunblade! No! It’s a copy  This Genesis Copy is using a god damned revolver grenade launcher gunblade. It’s so over the top ridiculous I can’t hate it.  Meet the G-Blader! More than a standard enemy, slightly less than a midboss.  Appropriately Cloud gives us our first limit after getting the Buster Sword.  I shoved on Jump because I basically never used it.  The best part about it is the animation which is hard to even appreciate at full speed. Damage wise it’s barely higher than a normal attack though hits in a full circle instead of just in front of you.  G Blader’s Gunblade attack actually has hilarious recoil in the animation which knocks him backwards and he has to lean into it.  He can also just hit you with a few boring sword sipes but they don’t hurt much.  Oh wow thanks   After we beat up the G Blader this SOLDIER pops out of the elevator. What!? They attacked the detention center?SOLDIER 3rd Class: No, but security was spread thin after the attacks in the city, and he used that opportunity to escape. God drat. I’d play a game as Hollander despite him being a goony rear end in a top hat just because he is apparently a god damned ninja in addition to being a marathon runner.  SOLDIER 3rd Class: The timing of the attack was just too perfect. It’s very possible that Hollander is getting outside help.  SOLDIER 3rd Class: Security cameras on the 6th level have a positive identification on Hollander. This just happens to be the 6th level, so he should be somewhere ahead. ...We were heading to the 8th level, why did we stop here? Well, I guess it is convenient. SOLDIER 3rd Class: Lower Junon and Upper Junon are connected by a central passageway. To proceed to Upper Junon where HOllander is, open the central passageway gate and go straight.  SOLDIER 3rd Class: Certainly! Meanwhile, I’ll go protect Hollander from himself!  Finally, Kunsel has no idea what we are up to.  That might be more exciting if we didn’t already have a pile AND we hadn’t just stoll Drainra.  As we head down the road another G Blader appears. Apparently somebody is mass producing Grenade Gunblades. GIve that man a promotion.  This is turning into a very bad day for SOLDIER. So much for Zack saying we’re all making it back alive.  After that one’s demise we see our Goon Friend again.  Tch! You’re not getting away!    Always with the distractions. Can’t we just murder Hollander just ONCE this game?   Sometime between now and my next main post I’ll do a round up of alternate limits with the new weapons and a few memories I forgot to post earlier.  Another G Blader and some troops show up as we ALMOST make it to the big door.  I’ll second that.  Jeeze finally.  ...Or not.  Or REALLY not.   The tank fires out five mini helicopter drones to give it some support.  Welcome to our actual boss, the General’s Tank! This is actually dreadfully boring and not remotely challenging, but drat is it a brick shithouse. More HP than Angeal Penance and obscene defense. I forgot to bring Thunder magic so this takes way longer than it needs to.  Basically the only two things of note are the drones can shock you and that it will redeploy some time after you clean them up and 203 MM Cannon attack. Which is a really easily dodgeable projectile that goes straight ahead.  That’s a critical! gently caress this thing’s high vitality. Prepare for lots of stabbing in the butt then rolling out of the way of a cannon shot. That’s this whole fight.  It got lonely I guess.  From the generic corridors I think this is back from chasing Hollander in Mako Reactor 5 which the Turks weren’t actually around for? Alternately it’s from the future of this mission but the background doesn’t match.  Yeah, I’m having some trouble. If only I had a Turk with me… Harsh. Also the flirting places this toward Reactor 5 since Zack hasn’t met Aerith yet.  Cissnei gets blocked by Aerith but we do level up! ...I guess Zack really likes them redheads.  Oh god what is happening.  Zack has finally lost it, the DMW is hosed.  ...Or Genesis has forced himself into the equation. So yeah, we added Genesis to the DMW wheel after we beat him. But he does things his own way. Occasionally the wheel just kind of bursts into flames and Genesis hijacks it.  Apocalypse Limit Break   Show me the true power of SOLDIER!  Mind your own business!    I will say, Genesis knows how to throw a party.  The tank still has 7000 loving HP after that but nothing interesting occurs. I throw another Shinra beta on the pile of armor I’ve acquired.   With impeccable timing Tseng comes in right after the fighting is over with two 3rds. If we lock this door, we can hold the enemy off. We’ll move the evacuated residents here, for now. Looks like things are going smoothly on your side. I think literally every red mark in Zack’s file is because of Hollander. We’re counting on you.  A bunch of folks are hanging out in this locked down area now that we can talk to. SOLDIER 3rd Class: By the way, I just saw Cissnei heading to the 8th level of Upper Junon. Hint hint. It’s not super important but we want to talk to her to trigger something and it’s easily missed.  I can only murder people so fast, kid.  Employee: We’re already deep in the red as it is! Get rid of these monsters at once! Honestly, I’d be shocked if a giant fortress town with a gently caress off cannon strapped to the top of it was running a profit.  Nah, a video game.   Interestingly Zack is probably one of the most powerful(in political, not physical though also that) terms in SOLDIER right now. Lazard is gone, the only other first class of any note is Sephiroth and he’s pretty stand offish. Zack’s pretty personable and is engendering the personal loyalty of the new hires as well as those that have been there for a bit. It’s just something that will continue to quietly grow over the next few chapters   Y-yeah… The previous line was given by ??? but gently caress it, it is obviously Cloud. Hey, you’re Cloud! Zack can’t recognize him from the back though. Wow, you remembered me.  I’m happy to be working with you again. Yeah, although my work is a little dull. What are you talking about? Rescue work is an important task! Anyway, once we’re all done, let’s grab a bit to eat--my treat. God knows I have nothing else to spend my burgeoning wealth on. Really? That would be great! Once I’m feeling better I’d love to go. But right now?  Well, at least someone on the Crisis Core team remembered that Cloud used to get motion sickness before getting shot full of countless drugs and genes. But that will be it for now! Next time we continue to deal with the clusterfuck and try to finally capture Hollander.
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Jun 2, 2016 19:48
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I'm not going to lie, that Grenade Launcher Gunblade is pretty  in the best way.Rather fitting that Genesis' Limit Break involves him booting Sephiroth off of the DMW and making things about himself. Blueberry Pancakes fucked around with this message at 20:18 on Jun 2, 2016 |
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Jun 2, 2016 20:07
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I'm curious to see what Cisnnei's optional scene is, because I'm drawing a blank, which probably means I never did it.
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Jun 2, 2016 20:14
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Hobgoblin2099 posted:I'm not going to lie, that Grenade Launcher Gunblade is pretty Pretty much this. Even as a DMW, Genesis is a prat.
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Jun 2, 2016 21:02
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Little details like remembering Cloud's motion sickness are why I feel this is the best the best Final Fantasy VII title besides the original.
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Jun 3, 2016 06:32
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DanielCross posted:Little details like remembering Cloud's motion sickness are why I feel this is the best the best Final Fantasy VII title besides the original. It doesn't really have that much competition 
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Jun 3, 2016 07:36
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Honestly, there are times where this game feels like a better FF7 game than FF7 was.
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Jun 3, 2016 07:42
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On the other hand, it has Genesis.
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Jun 3, 2016 10:45
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Clarste posted:On the other hand, it has Genesis. He could've been worse; if I remember correctly he was going to have a black uniform before someone (I think it might've been Gackt) pointed out that he was too similar to Sephiroth and they made it red. The obviously most expensive cutscene started with Sephiroth making GBS threads on his poetry spouting habits, then kicking his rear end into villainy.
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Jun 3, 2016 11:16
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Pyrotoad posted:He could've been worse; if I remember correctly he was going to have a black uniform before someone (I think it might've been Gackt) pointed out that he was too similar to Sephiroth and they made it red. The obviously most expensive cutscene started with Sephiroth making GBS threads on his poetry spouting habits, then kicking his rear end into villainy. Yeah, as groan-inducingly Advent Children as that cutscene was, it made Sephiroth look legitimately awesome, which is okay by me. And as bad as Genesis is, and good golly Miss Molly is he bad, he's still a half-step or so up above Dirge of Cerberus' villains. Honestly, the fact that he's clearly trying to BE Sephiroth is at least mildly amusing, even if he's got the personality of literally any twelve year old who first played FF7 when it came out and idolized Sephiroth as the Most Awesome In The History Of Ever. Hell, if they weren't clearly trying to take it seriously because it's supposed to be Gackt, I'd almost say Genesis was supposed to be a parody of that part of the fanbase. Derek Barona fucked around with this message at 15:20 on Jun 3, 2016 |
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Jun 3, 2016 15:16
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He sure likes to ball (about how awesome his totally not pretentious ancient poem is).
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Jun 3, 2016 15:19
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Derek Barona posted:And as bad as Genesis is, and good golly Miss Molly is he bad, he's still a half-step or so up above Dirge of Cerberus' villains.
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Jun 3, 2016 16:54
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Everything makes more sense when you realize that Genesis is the start of everything wrong with FF7 spin offs: even now, he's in the Lifestream, polluting it with the emo crap that will only leave the original game unaffected because Shinra is using the stream as a cheap energy source, effectively venting Loveless away from the planet. Once Shinra is gone? The whole Lifestream gets contaminated with that crap.
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Jun 3, 2016 17:25
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Woebin posted:How dare you besmirch the good name of Mister Jockstrap, evil mastermind. I'm sorry, but you can't be as bad as villians named: Red the Red Blue the Blue White the White Black the Black.
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Jun 3, 2016 20:19
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And Orange the Transparent.
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Jun 3, 2016 20:30
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thetruegentleman posted:Everything makes more sense when you realize that Genesis is the start of everything wrong with FF7 spin offs: even now, he's in the Lifestream, polluting it with the emo crap that will only leave the original game unaffected because Shinra is using the stream as a cheap energy source, effectively venting Loveless away from the planet. Once Shinra is gone? The whole Lifestream gets contaminated with that crap. I have to say, this is a pretty amazing theory.
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Jun 3, 2016 20:50
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I dunno, I really like Genesis so far. Like he's an obnoxious pretentious fuckwit, and every time he shows up the other characters treat him as such. Like he's a complete loser whose throwing a temper tantrum and trying to take the world with him because some idiot turned him into a genetically engineered super soldier dying of monster aids.
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Jun 3, 2016 21:17
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He's that kid who discovered Kafka at 15 and decided that, since that made them smarter than everyone else, they would do everything they could to let people know that fact. And if you don't remember that kid, it was probably you.
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Jun 3, 2016 21:35
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Kaboom Dragoon posted:He's that kid who discovered Kafka at 15 and decided that, since that made them smarter than everyone else, they would do everything they could to let people know that fact. And if you don't remember that kid, it was probably you.
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Jun 3, 2016 22:46
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I thought that said "Kefka" at first. I was a little confused.
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Jun 3, 2016 23:36
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Chapter 19.5: Limit Break Catchup Not really an update but want it to show up! Just some limit related whatevers that have been missed here and there or not a big deal for the full update.  Umbrella Limits! The only notable missing one is Aerith’s. I might pick her up later because some side missions use the beach and umbrella sword.  Buster Sword Lucky Stars and Meteor Shots I’ll add more new versions as they come along. I’ll probably pass on Air Strike since it doesn’t really matter in that one.  Octaslash+Memory  Do 1sts get some kind of special treatment? Why are you asking me? If you want to know about 1sts, talk to Lazard.And then like a jerk Sephiroth walks off. Are you in a bad mood or something? Kunsel to the rescue!  Use of personal equipment is allowed, as well as items beyond those supplied by the company.So interestingly enough if Zack somehow ended up with Buster Sword before he got promoted he couldn’t actually use it on the job. There’s also talk that they have the right to refuse direct orders.Which seems true since Sephiroth told Lazard to go stuff himself earlier, but is still super loving weird for a military organization. Though that’s strictly off the record. Huh? And now Zack walks off like a jerk. Rough day at the office.  Rush Assault Limit+Memory This one is kind of amazing and just speaks for itself.   Probably a real update tomorrow. If not then, Tuesday. It will finish out this chapter which is a shorty. Only two updates! which will probably end up being the shortest in the game. Nashun fucked around with this message at 14:24 on Jun 6, 2016 |
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Jun 5, 2016 20:11
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The Umbrella is a weapon for Aerith in VII, right? Or was it for Cloud? Zack using it is throwing me off. Yeah, it's Aerith after all. Blueberry Pancakes fucked around with this message at 21:14 on Jun 5, 2016 |
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Jun 5, 2016 20:41
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The Rush Assault link goes to the Lucky Stars and Meteor Shot video instead.
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Jun 5, 2016 20:58
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwZbmzjbA4M and fixed in the post. So apparently my whole last big update I managed to not gently caress anything up for once, but managed to in a less than 10 picture post with 4 links.
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Jun 6, 2016 14:26
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Chapter 20: Running Man For the 300th time we found ourselves chasing after secret ninja Hollander. Then we beat up a giant bulky tank! So now we can continue the endless chase. This is turning into Tom and Jerry or Coyote and Roadrunner at this point. Maybe Zack and Hollander should get a morning cartoon.  Music: Encounter That way is...the airbase! Is he planning a getaway by air!? This is bad! ha ha ha...are you sure it’s me you should be concerned about? A pair of these whirly blade things we beat up in Shinra Tower in FF7 drop down from...somewhere in the sky. There is no ceiling this time even! If you don’t stop these things, what will become of Junon? drat! You underhanded snake! You’re destroying the gate to attack civilians? I won’t let that happen! That Hollander… When I catch him, I’ll deck him but good!  So every few seconds a few enemies will pop into existence on the road here. We need to run into them to trigger a fight before they reach the gate we just came from. Luckily time freezes outside when we enter a battle.  Crazy saws have two attacks. This one they basically spin in place and hit you about 8 times for 50-60 a shot. It adds up fast.  Drill Attack does about the same total damage but all in one blow. The attack name also pops up way before they actually charge so it’s easy to dodge roll too early and get slammed by a three foot drill bit.  Genesis has some memories too! This one is really boring.  It’s literally just bits of the cut scene before he attacked us in Modeoheim.  He really does a number on Crazy Saws though.  These stupid things are back. They still die in 1-2 hits and occasionally bolt you.  Tseng Memory 3(?)    So this is immediately after Zack took down Angeal Penance. I guess at some point Tseng got a phone call through to call in another chopper.  A bunch of skipped fights later, Junon civilians defended! For doing a sweet job we get a MAG Up+ materia which I will probably never use!  If we backtrack towards where we came in there is this gondola that goes up a floor or two. It is the way to a super easy to miss optional scene since we get spit out most of the way down the road to the next area.  Apparently she just killed him with the power of her mind. She doesn’t have her shuriken out and is just chilling there as we get off the gondola.  I thought your assignment was to protect hollander.  Mighty quick work there, Cissnei. You’ll make Turks supervisor in no time! I don’t know about that.   We’ve had some hints of it before, but Cissnei definitely has her own flavor of hosed up background going on. They don’t really go too deep on any details though in here or Before Crisis. And she really hasn’t shown up since. Huh? But I’ve recently stopped believing that thanks to my Turks colleagues.  I’ve just been wondering, because you’re about the youngest Turks member I’ve met. I received all different kinds of training. Then, I joined the Turks. Presumably she was raised by Shinra or people acting directly for them.  Hey! Wait, Cissnei! If you keep slacking off, you’re going to disappoint your fans.  Look into it when you’re back in Midgar.  My fans, huh? I wonder what they are like. Doing this actually triggers Zack’s fan club existing from here on out. If we didn’t talk to Cissnei we’d miss out on a few things. Though we can assume it’s been around a bit what with the receptionist talking about everything but Zack’s dick size a few updates back. We also get 5 X-Potions and a few pieces of crap rear end armor I’ve outdated ages ago.  Aerith Memory + Buster Sword Limit Break Aerith decides to pop in a new memory herself. Long time, no see!  Boy: Yeah. Although your wallet didn’t help much, really. This is another case of a memory being kind of weird and not quite jiving with reality. Of course it didn’t help, you didn’t even keep it!   Aerith also rolls up trip 7’s to hit level 25.   And then in the very next fight I get another triple 7 out of Aerith to hit 26. Guess I had a few levels backlogged on XP. Reminder: Crisis Core leveling is super weird.  It’s Kunsel behind our fan club! (not quite)  Ok, back on track. This airport should look familiar from FF7!  Also holy poo poo!  Hey, Guard Scorpion. I kill your Guard Spider buddies for breakfast, think you can take me? Music: Controlling the Iron Beast  Honestly the only thing that makes this a boss fight is Guard Scorpions buckets of XP. Like his Spider brethren before he can shoot us with moderately dangerous bullets.  And EM field which hasn’t scaled particularly well. I didn’t even block right and it only did 400-500 damage.  Not even a good theft target!  This is the third apocalypse in 20 minutes. It does quite a number on the Scorpion and hits for 6600. I think the biggest damage I’ve dealt so far(In a single blow).  Getting punched is the main threat here. 750 damage is getting into respectable territory. Though I’m still 2000 over my cap at the moment.  Target search doesn’t really do anything on its own. If you get hit it locks on for the super attack of Guard Scorpion, the Tail Laser! It’s really easy to avoid though and basically just gives you free reign to punch it in the rear end 4-5 times. If you do get locked on Tail Laser does ~1750 unavoidable damage. So almost enough to knock me below my regular max HP!  Now this is the type of poo poo I’m talking about. For the foreseeable future I have a near-guaranteed 9999 damage vs. most targets if I use Vital Slash. It’s a bit slow like Power Attack before, but it hits HARD.  Suck it technology. SOLDIER prowess wins again.   This Cutscene Brought to you By the Virtual Golden Hour That’s far enough!  Really? You sure? Hey! Hollander takes after his creation and takes a backwards dive off the end of the landing platform.  Oh god!  Of course he’s not committing suicide though.  So once again Hollander escapes one of the strongest people in the world.  Tseng and Cissnei come chasing through the scene and then vanish from existence. I guess they are chasing on foot?  More reasons I really like what they did with Sephiroth in Crisis Core. Sephiroth! Long time no see!In a bit more than accusatory tone.  I was on my way to Modeoheim, but I heard you were in the area.  Zack is just kind of done with everything at this point. The situation has not resolved. Genesis copies have been sighted around the world.  I’m really wondering how many members SOLDIER had. Presumably you need to have undergone the SOLDIER treatment to get transformed into a Genesis copy. We’ve killed a LOT of Genesis copies. Maybe there is some covered up kidnapping going on where they expose random mooks to the SOLDIER treatment? Music: A Changing Situation Did Genesis really die?Finally someone asks the important question.  Ugh. They’ve been sighted in Midgar as well. I see.  I guess Sephiroth is his boss right now since everyone else is dead/MIA. Also a pretty ok guy! Uh, yeah. Take care. You too.  Hey, what’s going on in Modeoheim? ...Genesis? Probably.     Zack looks like he’s trying to say something but can’t come up with the words and it just cuts back between him sucking in air like a fish out of water and Sephiroth looking smug.     Son of a bitch! Why did you have to be right, Sephiroth. None of the copies has ever quoted LOVELESS at me. Legend shall speak of sacrifice at world’s end.   Genesis is hanging out on the real version of the location that started this whole goddamn mess. Or at least a few pixels of him are.  And chapter 7 is in the books! We’re starting to be getting towards the end. Next chapter should be another shorty before some poo poo starts hitting the fan. Nashun fucked around with this message at 20:08 on Jun 6, 2016 |
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Jun 6, 2016 19:51
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Nashun posted:Zack I see. Missed a picture here. I also have to wonder if there really are Genesis copies in the slums or Sephiroth is going *wink wink, nudge nudge* about him going to see Aerith. Seems like the latter.
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Jun 6, 2016 20:05
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Yeah, Seph's pretty clearly going "You can go see your girlfriend now" with that permission to return line. He's obviously looking out for him at least on that count.
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Jun 6, 2016 23:42
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Imagine having Sephiroth as your wing man.
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Jun 6, 2016 23:55
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Gologle posted:Imagine having Sephiroth as your wing man.
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Jun 7, 2016 00:14
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So with exact Genesis clones popping up approximately everywhere, how dead are the members of Genesis' fan club?
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Jun 7, 2016 00:38
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I like how Genesis is being all pompous and dramatic and is completely overshadowed by THE TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF DUMBAPPLES!
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Jun 7, 2016 00:43
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Glazius posted:So with exact Genesis clones popping up approximately everywhere, how dead are the members of Genesis' fan club? I never really thought how hilarious that would be. The others really only look Genesis like if you rip their mask off. Otherwise they are weird mutant winged things or whatever. But this new batch has a ton of straight up clones basically. Two cars in every garage and a Genesis clone in every pot. Also should have a next update out tomorrow, then you guys get to wait a week or so because I think next Friday will be my next opportunity to write one. Got the next two updates screenshots cut at least. Another two update chapter.
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Jun 8, 2016 00:50
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Chapter 21: Scavenger Hunt Is poo poo wack at home? Does Sephiroth want Zack to get some lovin’? Soon we will find out!  Welcome home to the scenic slums!  I thought I felt some kind of presence… Was it just my imagination…? Nope! You just didn’t notice this weird little robot trundling towards you.  Click to Watch  poo poo! Sephiroth wasn’t just trying to be a wingman. Aerith: Zack!  Aerith: *shakes her head*  Angeal copies: Still way more hosed up than the Genesis copies. An Angeal copy? Apparently the Church has automated doors like a store. They open automatically for the little robot guy.  Trundlebot gets ready to fire but the Angeal copy charges it instead!  Thank you. Also poses like a badass afterwards.  Was it...protecting us? Yeah, probably.  Before crumpling over.  Poor thing. Can’t anyone ever stay dead?   It was so...I don’t know...sad. What did you...come here to do? So...a flower wagon! Let’s make one! Mm… Yeah, but.   I’ll...I’ll take care of things.  -End Video-  Uh, yeah… Hey, Aerith? Yeah… but, I’m still a little scared, so….first, I’ll fill the slums full of flowers… Oh, come on, Aerith! When you go above, I’ll go with you. There’s no need to be scared.  Once in awhile I can’t help but notice her terrifying hand model. All right! Let’s get started on that wagon, then! I’ll go gather the materials. Aerith, you wait here. Okay!  This triggers us having some new missions actually. We have a series of missions at the beach where we can beat up the Genesis copy frog men. (Figurative not literal frog men, this is important in this game)  Jesus, Kunsel. While I appreciate you want to help, you could be a TOUCH less creepy about it.   Ok, time to be an awful boyfriend and knock out a few side missions. Hilariously this mission line actually has a bit of an actual main game conclusion later.  The first few missions aren’t really notable. We beat up some cactuars. Some of the mission briefings are funny though.  600 cactuars later, a specific mission boss one gives us the Cactus Thorn!  And now we have our first monster DMW. Like with summons it will occasionally just switch to the Monster Joker wheel during a limit verge.  Hey! It’s our old buddy magic pot. These guys are in the Northern Crater in FF7. If you fed them an Elixir you could then beat them up and get BUCKETS of Gil / AP / XP  This guy acts more like the white mushrooms from Kingdom Hearts. They ask you to do a series of specific attacks on them.  Note me being cursed so I don’t accidentally screw it up with a Limit Break. I TOTALLY didn’t have that happen in the first try, nope. After we use Assault Twister on it Pot starts dancing away.  And now we have monster DMW 2!  Our last big pick up is good ol’ Tonberry. These guys have tons of HP and high vitality. Gravity is a good way to soften them up.  Karma is known as Everyone’s Grudge in some other games. The damage is based on the amount of enemies Zack has killed. So far it’s actually not too scary except the knock down, but it can get hefty.  Tonberries are so short you can actually whiff the horizontal slash over their head.   Huzzah, three of these guys. I can’t wait for them to pop up on the DMW because almost all the Monster DMW videos are amazing.  We now return you to your regularly scheduled scavenger hunt. Well we would if these assholes weren’t ambushing us outside the door.  Our friendly neighborhood Angeal copy listened to our instructions and is inside, so we finally get to fight them! Gun Bull Heads are nothing to write home about. They fire a pretty big cannon, but are really unmaneuverable and slow.  With his usual impeccable timing of showing up after the action has ended, Tseng arrives. A new automated mobile weapon. They automatically detect and attack monsters. Arms Development deployed these in midgar as an anti-Genesis copy measure. These new models were able to eliminate most of the copies inside Midgar, apparently. Hmm… That’s pretty impressive. But why the heck was I attacked, then? Can’t they tell the difference between SOLDIER operatives and monsters? Sounds just like good ol’ Shinra. Well, that’s annoying. They’ll fix it eventually. By the way, Tseng… I’m annoyed with you, too. Silent treatment again? Tseng is totally not a bro. I’m just fulfilling my duties as a Turk. Hey! I’m not “playing” with Aerith! I’m fulfilling MY duties as SOLDIER to protect…I don’t even know why he’s trying to spin this line. From last chapter it’s clear the Turks know exactly what is up between these two. I mean, they’ve been dating for something like six months at this point.  Also this loving kid isn’t helping things. Boy: I’ll help you make it really fancy so you can surprise Aerith!   *laugh track* So, blah blah blah kid says a lot of words saying basically we need to find Instructions, wood, tools, and tires to make a wagon. We have two sets of all of those things, but not the RIGHT two sets. We need to do more random poo poo in the slums first.  First up is check these glowy spots around the slum in front of the church.  Mostly we find random crap. This camera’s taken quite a beating. Doesn’t look like it’s going to work anymore. . Hm, could this be the owner’s name? T… S… E… N… G… How do you pronounce that? I honestly don’t know if Zack is meant to be the biggest dumb gently caress ever and has never seen Tseng’s name in writing or if he is just super pissed at Tseng spying on his girlfriend and making fun of Tseng’s name.  After finding a Shinra helmet we do get ourselves some tools though! One quarter there.  Once again it takes this kid 20 lines to say we can find some wood in the slum market.  Woman: I wish I could have met her. There’s so much I wanted to ask her. I have no idea who or what this refers to. Some FF7 mega turbo fan feel free to enlighten us. Or maybe it is just a throwaway line!  I wonder if even the public believes these notices at this point. Or if anyone even knew who Hollander was. The impression I got was he was put out to pasture well before the game started.  Woman: Like some idiot 1st Class who failed to apprehend a wanted criminal in Junon.   Girl: He says a SOLDIER guy from Shinra came and beat up the monsters!  Girl: Yeah! So what’s your uncle like?Girl: Uncle’s good-looking! He always wears really nice clothes. His house is up in Wall Market. All the rooms in his house are really shiny and pretty.  Hrm. this sounds familiar.   A...don you say? A Don? That’s a strange name for a job… (Wait...could he be heading a criminal organization?) Yeeeeah so that girl is the niece of Don Corneo. I hope her parents move before poo poo gets real weird.  Man: Man, I wish I could see her. But Nibelheim’s quite a ways out there, you know.  The rep of the Silver Elite is hanging out with a bunch of kids in the playground still. Talking to her gets us some more fan mail. I kind of wish THIS was the FMV we got. I want to see Angeal hurling the Buster Sword at Genesis’ head.  Finally I run out of random schmoes to talk to and check in on a wood pile in the Market. This was just laying around. Is it yours?Man: It was NOT just lying around. I PUT it there! Who are you? What do you want? Well…Then we get a fade to black while Zack talks about wanting to go to the bone zone with the local flower girl.  Man: I’m a carpenter living in the Sector 7 Slums. I’m here in Sector 5 to buy some materials. I can give you some of my wood. It will go great with Zack’s Pearl Necklace. Really!? That would be great! Man: But on one condition! I’m building a, erm, a bar in the Sector 7 Slums. I want you to come up with a name for it. A name for the bar?Man: Mm-hm. A name would give me a good visual image to work off of. I’ve been racking my brain for some time, but I can’t seem to come up with anything hip.  Time to play “Do you remember FF7?” again! “Seventh Heaven,” a piece of paradise in Sector 7!Man: Seventh Heaven… … Hm. It’s simple, and it’s a nice concept. Yes, I can picture it… Maybe there’ll be a young girl tending the bar. That sounds good. I’ll, uh, just take my lumber and leave please. This suddenly got weird. Yeah! Now you’re talkin’! drat it, Zack! You are happily in a relationship! Don’t be a creeper like this dude. Man: And underneath the bar is a secret room. An underground hideout!  This whole thing went from kind of amusing nod to FF7 to kind of weird. Whatever group is there now(Crisis Core era) probably isn’t that tied to AVALANCHE in FF7. Nobody in that is actually mad at Shinra yet. Also that AVALANCHE isn’t the AVALANCHE that is currently active in this game. Maybe everyone involved right now just died before FF7 started.  Man: A-a-anyway, I like the name! I’m getting all sorts of visuals from it. Thanks, sport. I’ll give you some of my wood, as promised. I’m not so sure I’m still interested.  But there is no going back. Two parts down.  The kind rambles on about there being a car but doesn’t say WHERE and runs off. Another guy tells us to check Sector 8. There is a tremendous amount of running around here. We pretty much hit every Midgar zone at least once.  Girl: He travels the world collecting rare items and keeps a journal of his adventures. He calls it the “struggle-log,” but it was one of the funniest things I’ve ever read! That’s probably the guy you trade in the Emerald and Ruby Weapon drops to?  Well, it’s as reasonable a theory as any. It’s still a pretty big ??? to us peons on the ground. We’ll probably have to kill him later or something and he’ll make a dramatic dying speech. At the very least he’s gotta be dead before FF7.  Going along with my comment from last update that Zack is probably way more influential than he realizes. It could have been an interesting alternate path for the game to take though it will really never go anywhere.  Ugh. Fanclubs. Genesis Fan: Genesis’s folks used to send us money to sponsor our fan club’s activities. Ahaha ok this time it was worth bothering you creeps. Apparently the most succesful Genesis fan club only existed because his parents were propping it up. I wonder if he know about it. Probably not because goddamn would he probably be pissed at that. Genesis Fan: But we’ve suddenly lost contact with them, and we’re quickly running out of funds. Hmm, yeah, about that. Have you tried checking six feet under?   As much as I’d love to be unhelpful, that doesn’t get us anywhere. Genesis Fan: Where would we find a rich fan club? We WERE the richest fan club around! But now the only assets we have are all the leftover Banora apple jewelry…  Son: She just left a note saying that she’s going away for a while! Where did you go, mom? Ok, fine. Guilt me into dealing with fangirls this time, game. I’ll do it.  Mom has popped into existence by the train station now that we talked to her son. I’d imagine Zack can get a lot done by just showing up angry with 60 pounds of steel casually slung on his back. Angeal Fan: ...Please don’t stop me. I have to go look for Angeal. Hmm, yeah, about that. Have you tried checking six feet under?  When Zack has to give you parenting advice you know you done hosed up. Angeal Fan: … What do you think Angeal would say if he were alive and right here in front of you? ...Well, I’m not really sure he’d say that but we’ll roll with it. Zack certainly isn’t as eloquent as Angeal was. Angeal Fan: Nothing but a monster!? Yes… I suppose if Angeal were here, he would say that.  Maybe he should run the household. He seems more responsible. Angeal Fan: ...I’m sorry. I hope he grows up to be a great guy, like Angeal. Angeal Fan: Me too…  Son: So I offered to help out with the fan club’s activities. Then Mom said from now on, she was going to take care of things around the house!  Angeal Fan: I’m going to run the Keepers of Honor together with my boy. And you’re still a valuable member. I hope you’ll continue to support us. Listen, lady, I’m just here to prevent child neglect.  Nothing really new to us, but the word is getting out there to the public thanks to us not turning that reporter in.  Yeah this conversation just starts like this. No lead in.  Genesis Fan: The days when we were given dirty looks by Genesis fans and couldn’t recruit new members… those days are finally coming to an end! One group out of money, the other run by an (even more) crazy person! At least Genesis fandom should tear itself apart soon.  Genesis Fan: That’s none of our concern! They didn’t come to our aid when we were in dire straits! Why should we help them!? They’re saying if you merge with them, they’ll give you apple jewelry. They’ve got a lot of those left over, apparently.  Genesis Fan: ...Apple...Jewelry… Fine. If they’re willing to go that far, then we’ll start negotiating with them. I’m glad(?) Genesis’ fans are as vacuous as he is.  Genesis Fan: It wasn’t the jewelry that got me! I was simply moved by your passion! Oh I believe you, ma’am.  God what is with all these people talking about their dicks this update. I’m looking for parts to build a wagon, so I’ve got this favor to ask you…Man: A favor? Then another fade to black. Less tasteful this time maybe. Man: I see. So you’re trying to build a flower wagon for this Aerith girl. Tell you what, my good man. You can have these.   Three out of four down. Man: Those tires can withstand speeds of up to 140 miles per hour. They’re precious to me, but… I’m venturing on your success. Man. Zack must be much more compelling than I ever gave him credit for. Also an rear end in a top hat because we’re rolling in gil and could have just bought the tires from this guy. But hey, thanks for the freebie.  So the kid had the instructions, lost them, we need to find them. He kept it in a shinra trooper helmet, which we have conveniently seen...back across town in sector 5. At least that’s right outside the church.  Genesis Fan: You coordinated this with them, didn’t you? Thank you so much. If this works out, we just might be able to keep Genesis’ fan club alive. This may be the worst atrocity Zack has ever committed. Although going by Dirge of Cerberus (let’s not and say we didn’t) everyone has forgotten about Genesis in a decade or so.  Sephiroth Fan: I didn’t have the slightest clue… Some people don’t believe the club even exists. It’s no wonder when it’s so hard to get in! Lady, i got accosted by some woman who wanted to tell me what Sephiroth’s hair smelled like and was signed up against my will. It’s not that hard. Sephiroth Fan: But it’s got to be worth the trouble. I swear I’m gonna be in it someday!  Tragically, this is as close as we get to seeing Cid. Though maybe it is for the best.  A fan club? MY fan club? All right! Now I’m really feeling like a 1st! So if we never talked to Cissnei in that optional scene back in Junon we wouldn’t get this one here. Poor Zack would never know true adoration. Except by his loving girlfriend but that hardly counts. So, are you a member of the fan club?Receptionist: Um, hehehehe. Not exactly. Oh… Receptionist: You’re our brightest up-and-comer, Zack! You’ll always have my undying support. Undying! Always! Somehow this has turned into the creepiest update so far. Back away slowly, Zack. Just. Back away. Slowly. Uh, wow...thanks...I guess? Zack helping run Shinra is only slightly less ludicrous than President Camacho in Idiocracy. Uh… Sure, why not.At least Zack seems to be a little weirded out by this. Receptionist: I just got an idea. How about if I put you on our mailing list… There you go.  Hmm, 12 members. I think maybe we should hope it doesn’t get much bigger if the other clubs are anything to go by. You know, things got weird enough. I think we’ll just call this a day right here. Next time! We build a wagon. We build a wagon. We build a wagon.
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Jun 9, 2016 03:17
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I am so disappointed that Zach's hobbies didn't actually say squats. Sure there's 'anything involving physical training' but squats are special, drat it  (Also I never ever realized that whole thing with Cissnei, so holy poo poo more new content! Hooray!)
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Jun 9, 2016 05:19
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Angeal being a wingman from beyond the grave(?) with a winged beast is great. Kunsel is starting to sound like a stalker, though. I have to wonder how Shinra can stay afloat if a Cactuar can make off with sensitive information. How would Sephiroth ever manage to throw a blade that long with any precision? Nashun posted:Man: Seventh Heaven… … Hm. It’s simple, and it’s a nice concept. Yes, I can picture it… Maybe there’ll be a young girl tending the bar. That is exceptionally specific. Blueberry Pancakes fucked around with this message at 08:31 on Jun 9, 2016 |
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Jun 9, 2016 08:10
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Maybe the founders of the bar will join an ex SOLDIER to kill a first class SOLDIER who might be threatening the planet with black materia, and maybe they might be travelling with someone with holy materia, and maybe the black materia guy might skewer her like a shishkabob, enacting the white materia to save all of humanity. you know, it's all just conjecture, whatever
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Jun 9, 2016 09:11
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maybe humans in another reality will find entertainment in our devastating plight on three compact discs edit: mixed up 8 and 7 Slightly Absurd fucked around with this message at 09:20 on Jun 9, 2016 |
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Jun 9, 2016 09:15
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Nashun, do you plan to go into what you mean by this AVALANCHE not being the same as FF7's?
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Jun 9, 2016 22:25
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| # ? Jun 11, 2024 18:29 |
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There are two AVALANCHE organizations that exist within the world of FF7, though not concurrently. One is more terrorist than the other.
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Jun 9, 2016 22:52
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