Army Thread - These people already don't give a fuck about me - The Something Awful Forums

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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Army Thread - These people already don't give a fuck about me

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

look at that slight stubble on the side what are you some kind of GOD drat HIPPY?

# ? Jun 7, 2016 05:22

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 1, 2024 08:03

xsf421: Feb 17, 2011

Mustang posted:

What does the infantry have against decent looking hair? Was never told I needed a haircut around 19 series but as soon as I start spending time around infantrymen I get told I need one.

It's clean cut and within regs. In what way does a high and tight look "professional"?

Your ability as an officer is directly tied to how close your haircut is to a high and tight. Accept this and you'll make at least O-6.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 06:02

Woof Blitzer: Dec 29, 2012; [-]

Mustang posted:

What does the infantry have against decent looking hair? Was never told I needed a haircut around 19 series but as soon as I start spending time around infantrymen I get told I need one.

It's clean cut and within regs. In what way does a high and tight look "professional"?

lmfao

# ? Jun 7, 2016 06:40

Queen_Combat: Jan 15, 2011

Mike-o posted:

"hahahaha" but loving forever

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# ? Jun 7, 2016 06:46

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Hey Mustang

We told you so.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 07:18

Diarrhea Elemental: Apr 2, 2012; Am I correct in my assumption, you fish-faced enemy of the people?

This offering of schadenfreude pleases the Old Gods.

The Pact is complete.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 07:51

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Keep posting Mustang, I've almost got bingo.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 08:04

Ace of Baes: Jul 7, 1977

glad i can finally say gently caress you if youre still in

# ? Jun 7, 2016 08:06

Aranan: May 21, 2007; Release the Kraken

I kind of feel bad for deriving so much enjoyment at Mustang's not-so-slow embitterment.

I remember a CSM addressing the Lieutenants and Captains in a battalion formation once and saying the haircut standards apply to them as well, so they better blah blah blah high and tight. Never did see any of them shear their flowing locks, though.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 10:18

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

During my deployment I generally went 6-7 weeks between haircuts. I'd wait until the 1SG complained about it, then wait another 3 days before actually getting it cut.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 12:33

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

psydude posted:

During my deployment I generally went 6-7 weeks between haircuts. I'd wait until the 1SG complained about it, then wait another 3 days before actually getting it cut.

Yeah, don't get butthurt about it. Start pushing the boundaries now, so that your other mistaken adventures in common sense don't some as outrageous to The Man.

Also what reaction were you expecting?

# ? Jun 7, 2016 12:47

Mustang: Jun 18, 2006; “We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

Wasn't really expecting anything, since no one has ever said anything about my hair since I was able to grow out in OCS a year ago.

People in my unit said they don't see anything wrong with it. I literally just got my hair cut a few days ago too. Its seriously not that long. I would be pretty butt hurt if I actually had to have a high and tight.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 14:09

not caring here: Feb 22, 2012; blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

For reals dude just keep it in regs, people will get tired of talking about it and just accept it eventually.

Worked for me.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 15:16

Retrowave Joe: Jul 20, 2001

Someone earlier in the thread put it best. The Army: A buncha guys singing songs and talking about each other's hair.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 15:33

Ace of Baes: Jul 7, 1977

I saw a csm chew out a 1lt before pt formation once, he showed up to 9am work call with a bowl cut he must have gotten from either himself or his wife, like literally a bowl cut. I got a hair cut every 3-5 when I was in and just used a razor to stop my hair from falling over my ear. I also started quoting 670-1 word for word anytime someone said something and they usually walked away after the first paragraph.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 17:58

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

I'm not some hair nazi, but there is something hilarious about a new LT showing up and being told immediately by 5 different NCOs that they need to cut their loving hair, doubly so when their response is that they got it cut the day prior.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 18:17

Dream Weaver: Jan 23, 2007; Sweat Baby, sweat baby

So my seat for CCC got taken by a senior cpt. I had that seat for two years since I made 1LT. Fuuuck. I was going next month! Okay so who knows about walking on to classes? I'm going to try to take my seat back or get into another class this FY.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 19:01

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

White Chocolate posted:

So my seat for CCC got taken by a senior cpt. I had that seat for two years since I made 1LT. Fuuuck. I was going next month! Okay so who knows about walking on to classes? I'm going to try to take my seat back or get into another class this FY.

I have never seen a class that didn't have some no shows. I'd recommend calling the school house directly and speaking with the senior instructor, or some such person.

They might let you come up and help them until a class has a no show and plug you into that slot.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 20:04

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

Ace of Baes posted:

I also started quoting 670-1 word for word anytime someone said something and they usually walked away after the first paragraph.

I did this whenever someone tried to give me poo poo about my mustache.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 21:48

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

MightyJoe36 posted:

I did this whenever someone tried to give me poo poo about my mustache.

The only line of 670-1 that matters is the one that says the Cdr can say gently caress you, look different tomorrow.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 22:00

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

I want to yell at all the officer complaining ITT but I wasn't really any different and I got O-3 in 36 months like it was a leftover bingo prize and gently caress the army and gently caress you if you're still in. go do drugs

# ? Jun 8, 2016 00:03

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

Zeris posted:

gently caress the army and gently caress you if you're still in. go do drugs

# ? Jun 8, 2016 01:05

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

Zeris posted:

go do drugs

that's all the encouragement I need

# ? Jun 8, 2016 01:30

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Mike-o posted:

# ? Jun 8, 2016 01:44

not caring here: Feb 22, 2012; blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

If you do drugs on terminal leave just don't answer your phone, voicemail, email or text from anyone until ETS day

# ? Jun 8, 2016 02:11

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

not caring here posted:

just don't answer your phone, voicemail, email or text from anyone until ETS day

# ? Jun 8, 2016 03:49

iKon: Oct 4, 2000; CAN'T TEST
WON'T TEST

Zeris posted:

I want to yell at all the officer complaining ITT but I wasn't really any different and I got O-3 in 36 months like it was a leftover bingo prize and gently caress the army and gently caress you if you're still in. go do drugs

Facebook is awesome for showing me that all the absolute worst shitbag O-3s I knew are now shitbag O-4s

gently caress you if you're still in

# ? Jun 8, 2016 04:21

Soulex: Apr 1, 2009; Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

not caring here posted:

If you do drugs on terminal leave just don't answer your phone, voicemail, email or text from anyone until ETS day

Cheers

# ? Jun 8, 2016 05:30

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

best part about the mustang experience is that he had a bunch of crusty old vets foretelling his destiny for years before he actually joined up like a retard. and now everything he was warned of is coming to pass

rip in piss sir o7

# ? Jun 8, 2016 05:53

Diarrhea Elemental: Apr 2, 2012; Am I correct in my assumption, you fish-faced enemy of the people?

At least he's a lock for eventual hearing loss and tinnitus claims after enduring years of deafening, hysterical laughter.

# ? Jun 8, 2016 08:08

Carteret: Nov 10, 2012

Mustang, please don't ever stop posting.

We can't finish without the schadenfreude.

# ? Jun 8, 2016 09:26

sky shark: Jun 9, 2004; CHILD RAPE IS FINE WHEN I LIKE THE RAPIST

o7

# ? Jun 8, 2016 13:52

Syrian Lannister: Aug 25, 2007; Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.; Sugartime Jones

sky shark posted:

o7

This should be in the OP

# ? Jun 8, 2016 14:20

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

Syrian Lannister posted:

This should be in the OP

# ? Jun 8, 2016 14:52

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Syrian Lannister posted:

This should be in the OP

# ? Jun 8, 2016 15:24

Soulex: Apr 1, 2009; Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

Syrian Lannister posted:

This should be in the OP

It's amazing if it actually got sent out. Also, unsigned.

# ? Jun 8, 2016 17:17

Vasudus: May 30, 2003

He's a real person according to the GAL so it's either him or a smear job from a subordinate or something.

# ? Jun 8, 2016 18:08

Ace of Baes: Jul 7, 1977

I saw it on fb and according to the comments dudes been retired and ets' d already, so they cant really touch him.

# ? Jun 8, 2016 18:41

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

I was just waiting for "FTA, SMDFTB". But drat how did he go almost 30 years in and only get to 1SG? Probably not sucking dick enough and some DUIs.

# ? Jun 8, 2016 18:45

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 08:03

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

He's Tennessee NG. There's a bunch more hilarious nonsense on the WTF moments page, including this pissy retort:

# ? Jun 8, 2016 19:30

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Army Thread - These people already don't give a fuck about me

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