BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

«‹›1996 »

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

I've pre written next Sundays Sub Par recap but if you make all sorts of trades I'm going to have to update it and that makes me annoyed.

# ? Jun 20, 2016 16:41

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 26, 2024 11:57

shepard.shouldgo: Feb 2, 2016

Fun fact KW0134 my team is curses so you can write the same recap and it will still probably work

shepard.shouldgo fucked around with this message at 16:43 on Jun 20, 2016

# ? Jun 20, 2016 16:41

rabidsquid: Oct 11, 2004; LOVES THE KOG

Harlock posted:

Babe Ruth sure is great, huh?

Much like Ted Williams and Ron Santo.

# ? Jun 20, 2016 16:43

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

TheMcD posted:

FairGame, I'm feeling a bit ripped off from back when I traded you Sergio Romo for Smoky loving Burgess.

I believe your Romo was dead at the time and you were trying to survive relegation, so it wasn't so bad.

Anyway you gave me Lindy McDaniel that one time and he managed to lose like 5 games in 4 appearances before I put him back in his box, so I figure it's even.

# ? Jun 20, 2016 16:43

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

THE NEXT SIM WILL BE RUN AT 9PM EST TUESDAY. HAVE CHANGES IN BY THEN. :siren:

Oh, and I fixed the logo for the Supernovas so you can look forward to that next time too. Yay!

EXPANSION CUP: JUNE, AND LIKE A COUPLE GAMES IN MAY FOR SOME REASON

The Commander posted:

BERNIE WINS DEMOCRATIC BATTLE FOR ONCE; SHELL DUKAKI

Mass - The Burlington Berners, a team consisting largely of crappy modern day Diamondbacks and players that are even older than their septuagenarian owner, continue to refuse to concede in spite of all evidence to the contrary.

The 2016 Diamondbacks are bad, a testament to the futility of trying to buy your way out of futility and the general horror that has been professional baseball in Arizona. Zack Greinke, though improving has largely seems lost in the desert compared to his Dodger heyday of last year. Shelby Miller is the epitome of an overpay (Commissioner's Note: YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH) and Tyler Clipard�s workload in recent years makes him a candidate for �next player to have his arm literally fall off during a game.� This fact means nothing to the Berners, who have somehow converted this group of underachievers and Brooklyn/New York players into a competitive team.

In today's game against the also dominant Dukaki, the Berners shelled one of the few democratic politicians who is actually older than their master. Roy Campanella, making his first start as Bill Dickey's replacement catcher, channeled the will of the people to hit two home runs and nearly every player on the Berners showed their commitment to the cause by playing exceedingly well, except for Tony Lazzeri who was playing 1B for some inexplicable reason.

After the game GVOLTT chose to address reporters:

�People are tired of the same old Super League insiders, that's why they need me, a repeat owner who is in no way an insider and Bernie, a 74 year old who has managed to be in Congress for decades with no distinguishing factors beyond managing to get re-elected, to lead a Super League revolution. The people want change, thats why we�re able to channel their will to win baseball games and will bring down the tyranny of Smasher Dynamo as your EC nominee to the Super League. Now those SL insiders are going to try and use math to stop us and tell us that we need to win our division and possibly even a championship if we want to promote but I can tell you this: We will never concede, if we don�t win the division we�re going to fire FairGame and get the super commissioners to undemocratically change the democratic nature of what we do. �

Upon being informed that the Super League did not have a convention and that nothing short of performing well was going to allow him to promote and continue his revolution GVOLTT got quite irate.

�We don�t care, people of all stripes and colors want us to bring socialism to the Super League. Look we even have a black supporter,� he said pointing to a very uncomfortable-looking Jackie Robinson.

�The fact is that once you discount all our losses, we should have already clinched the division already. Yet FairGame's insider interpretations are leading the Super League to ruin.�

�Furthermore the fact that we�re competing with the moneyed interests of Mr. Burns and his Zephyrs shows how much the Super League needs real reform.�

He continued like this for quite awhile but at that point everyone else had left to find something more interesting to do as they figured they could just watch it on YouTube later.

At his post game conference Mooseontheloose chose to take a slightly different tack.

�Yes my team lost this game, but we have a second half firewall strategy that will seal us the nomination to the Super League. My opponent has brought great new energy to the league despite being nearly as old as the man who was the democratic nominee before most of the Super League was even born, however I have a broader coalition of players and non-players of all stripes, including teams with actual bullpens. Plus I can always just bring out a tank and frag that pacifist asshat if need be.�

GAME NOTES:

-When the Bees die, can The People's Left-Hander please be sent to the Berners? Anything else just seems wrong.
-There has never been a Paul Goldschmidt in the SL, if the Berners collapse or build an insurmountable lead, please use him so we can see exactly how much Mogul hates him. (Commissioner's Note: As near as I can tell, it LIKES him))
-I really wish that there was a way I could work a Willie Horton joke here.
-Seriously, Michael Dukakis was only born 8 years before Bernie Sanders.

From The Diary of Eclectic Tastes, July 25 posted:

Dear Diary,

Operation �Brave-76er failed roll� is finally going as I have foreseen. It all began when while questing, I saw that the Super League is so inept that it can�t kill a Griffon in under 2 hours and that me, the greatest table top player ever, could simply goad them into a trap. The Super League favors chaotic evil characters, the most dislikable teams win or survive by channeling the anger of Smasher Dynamo. As such, all I need to do is anger people and lose my way into talent and channel these energies into myself. I realized this when I attacked a friendly griffon that led to him running away and angering the other players away so much I was largely left to my own devices and quickly conquered a fantasy world due to their inaction.

The trick is to make sure that I am so disliked that the hate energy directed at me channels through a MacGuffin into my team--in addition to building an evil master weapon, of course. Thankfully I made sure to re roll until I had a personal charisma score of 1. Now what this does is guarantees that I am actively disliked. As a level 1 Barbarian, if I walk up to somebody and say, �Hello my name is ET are there any quests I can do for you?� I will either slur my words so badly they are insulted OR end up defecating in public, really whatever it takes to make sure that people actively dislike me. The last time I tried to be nice, it ended with a soiled loincloth, a half-burned-down pub and a very cute puppy being kicked and looking quite sad. In fact it's so effective that Smasher Dynamo will literally punch me on sight. He fails to realize the power his hatred is giving me.

This hatred has already allowed me to acquire part 1 of my doomsday device, a prime Babe Ruth, the all mighty, one who dingers and shall save my team from damnation. Having perfectly constructed a team that in addition to its charisma issues, has nothing redeeming in its infield, a bullpen from a largely unremarkable era in Blue Jays history and designing an obnoxiously written roster guaranteed to annoy FairGame by inserting thousands of bullshit nicknames of players, my team is both unlikable AND guaranteed to lose tons of games due to the infield being custom-built to suck. Now I can get the #1 pick in every round and build this into a championship team. Nothing can go wrong here as I�m 14 games under .500 at this point.

I can�t believe that the people of the so called �Super League� haven�t figured it out yet.

GAME NOTES

-Inning 1
Up 2-0 right off the bat. Dammit.

-Inning 2
Excellent, Carl Mays, you make me so happy.

-Inning 3
Thank you for coming through for me infielders, without your ability to commit an obscene amount of errors, this team might be middling, and we can�t have that yet.

-Inning 4
I wonder if the 76ers got this frustrated whenever they started winning? At least the NBA has a lottery that should in theory make tanking like this somewhat less ideal

-Inning 5
Why are you people rallying? This needs to stop promptly.

-Inning 6
If I find and kill Pete the Friendly Griffon, will I get enough XP to become the level 2 barbarians?

-Inning 7
RALLYING TO TIE THE GAME WHAT THE gently caress PEOPLE!! You are not supposed to do this until we get the #1 pick and use that to become gods of the universe (which will also allow us to defeat the idiot heroes in Smasher's D&D campaign). We may need to bring back operation Dungeon Shame and goad commissar FairGame into murdering this team if we keep on overperforming.

I can feel the Tris Speaker or Gibson falling away from me. It is painful.

-Inning 8
My butt itches.

-Inning 9
Rube Foster, you are a magnificent bastard.

OTHER NOTES
-You can draft an entire infield and rotation with 4 draft picks, right?
-This is what puppies look like after run ins with Charisma 1 villains

-COMMISIONER'S NOTE: jesus christ shepard you've been reading too many Critical Failure novels.

ANALYSIS: With your modern players, I almost wonder if it's not worth trying to go full-on power pitching and seeing what happens.

ANALYSIS: Underperforming that pythag like nuts. This team has a shot to win its division.

ANALYSIS: I hope you know what you're doing, because the evil villian gimmick doesn't work if it just fails repeatedly. You're smart, though--I trust you'll figure it out.

ANALYSIS: That Dickey injury sucks, to be sure. But Campanella has stepped up in limited work. With the hosed up schedule having millions of off-days, you could probably ride Campy until Dickey comes back.

ANALYSIS: You've got a very good shot at the division (though you had it before, to be honest. This is a good team.)

ANALYSIS: Your pythag suggests you aren't anywhere near this bad. Just unlucky. Might as well get a nice draft pick while you're at it.

ANALYSIS: Your pitching still sucks, and your offense has started to cool off. You've built a big lead. Is it enough?

ANALYSIS: I guess you don't really need to gather data on Noodles the Pitcher.

ANALYSIS: Never has there been an owner who can do more with less.

ANALYSIS: The offense just isn't there. Pitching's fine, though, so there's hope.

ANALYSIS: Not gonna lie--I'm thrilled that Nails is struggling. I hate that guy.

ANALYSIS: The thing about the Homer at the Bat hitters is that for the most part, they can't hit. Also, did you not roster Darryl? I should dock you wins just for that.

ANALYSIS: You've got an outside shot here. Though given IRL events, I should probably penalize Rosenthal about a million points.

THE 80s REMEMBERERS

ANALYSIS: Lonnie Smith was one of the better players of the 80s. You'd remember him better if not for his making a baserunning blunder in the 1991 World Series where he got faked out on a ball in the gap and failed to score from first base.

ANALYSIS: You're foiling EC's master plan. Neat.

ANALYSIS: If the Dukaki come back to the pack a little, and you come back to TAKE MITCHELL BOGGS OUT OF THE BULLPEN GODDAMN, you've got a shot here.

# ? Jun 20, 2016 16:45

CFBalla: Sep 16, 2009; Yeah, I just made that shot.

Make A-Rod the starting SS for this week. I don't know what happened, but it didn't seem like Masked got any days off, and is immediately sore again. He needs a break.

# ? Jun 20, 2016 17:05

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

CFBalla's subs were too late!

Also, with a ten million game lead, they only matter if The Masked Shortstop got hurt as a result, and he didn't, so, meh.

Super-League XIX, Week 22 Injury Report

Detroit Wolverines
Stephen Strasburg (SP) (I do not care for the Nats) - 33 days

Khartoum Doom
Billy Hamilton (OF) (No dingers, man) - 15 days

Minnesota Commission
Carl Mays (SP) (Requisitoned a ticket for the pain train!) - 12 days

Rockford Losers
Barry Bonds (OF) (Inevitable) - 36 days

South Eazy Bolton Eazy W's
Cy Young (SP) (God drat it, STOP DYING! Are you fuckers really going to make me write about the loving Killer Mikes in the playoffs? Really? God drat it!) - 13 days

Trump Baseball
Eddie Matteson (RP) (No more Eddies for Cthulhu) - 10 days
Eddie Foster (3B) (I said NO EDDIES!) - 13 days

World Warriors
George Kell (3B) (Kellbound) - 27 days

Pick 'em: Burn, EC, Burn

Triple Crown Championships
Hoboken Zephyrs (HATE!) (c) @ Slaughterhouse Nine (4-Game Series)

Hardcore and Larkin-Downing Championships
Detroit Wolverines @ South Dakota Marmosets (c)

Intercontinental and Television Championships
Rochester Generics (c) @ Detroit Wolverines

# ? Jun 20, 2016 17:22

TheMcD: May 4, 2013; Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Did I have a good week again or something?

Pick'Em: Champs retain.

# ? Jun 20, 2016 17:29

CFBalla: Sep 16, 2009; Yeah, I just made that shot.

Smasher Dynamo posted:

CFBalla's subs were too late!

Also, with a ten million game lead, they only matter if The Masked Shortstop got hurt as a result, and he didn't, so, meh.

The only thing I care about at this point is that Masked SS has a chance to shine in the playoffs, so this is good. If he's still sore, I'd like to go through with the move. If not, then forget I ever posted.

# ? Jun 20, 2016 17:33

DannoMack: Aug 1, 2003; i love it when you call me big poppa

pickem
champs retain

CFBalla posted:

The only thing I care about at this point is that Masked SS has a chance to shine in the playoffs

Don't get your hopes up

# ? Jun 20, 2016 17:42

CFBalla: Sep 16, 2009; Yeah, I just made that shot.

DannoMack posted:

Don't get your hopes up

My only hope is that he isn't injured for the playoffs, so ???

# ? Jun 20, 2016 17:52

Pash: Sep 10, 2009; The First of the Adorable Dead

Champs Retain

# ? Jun 20, 2016 17:56

rabidsquid: Oct 11, 2004; LOVES THE KOG

Champs Retain

# ? Jun 20, 2016 17:57

Yaya: Nov 14, 2012; vancloober cablucks

If DannoMack denies us the last chapter of MACHINE vs Masked SS with the Grenade he's set in stone the most evil owner

# ? Jun 20, 2016 17:59

mentholmoose: Nov 5, 2009; YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

rabidsquid posted:

Much like Ted Williams and Ron Santo.

You know, if I didn't already have a Ron Santo, and Babe Ruth wasn't hitting like some sort of god, that would be a deal I would consider.

# ? Jun 20, 2016 18:04

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

Pick 'em: Burn, EC, Burn

Triple Crown Championships
Hoboken Zephyrs (HATE!) (c) @ Slaughterhouse Nine (4-Game Series)

Hardcore and Larkin-Downing Championships
Detroit Wolverines @ South Dakota Marmosets (c)

Intercontinental and Television Championships
Rochester Generics (c) @ Detroit Wolverines

# ? Jun 20, 2016 18:04

CFBalla: Sep 16, 2009; Yeah, I just made that shot.

Yaya posted:

If DannoMack denies us the last chapter of MACHINE vs Masked SS with the Grenade he's set in stone the most evil owner

Oh gently caress me, I forgot Danno had that dumb grenade.

# ? Jun 20, 2016 18:14

GVOLTT: Dec 27, 2012; Honestly, I don't know what I want to put here, so I'm going with this.

First off, Bill Dickey to the DL, Roy Campanella to C, call up Al Lopez to the bench. No personal catcher orders this month, Campy will be out there as often as possible while Dickey is injured, and will hit at his normal spot in the batting order. Let's also reverse the SS platoon, since that was simply based off which one I wanted hitting more. Pee Wee Reese hits against RHP, Glenn Wright hits against LHP.

Also, what the hey, let's give old Dazzy Vance a shot in the rotation: Vance to SP5, Preacher Roe to LR.

That is all.

# ? Jun 20, 2016 18:16

Armitage: Aug 16, 2005; "Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."

Pick 'em: Burn, EC, Burn

Triple Crown Championships
Hoboken Zephyrs (HATE!) (c) @ Slaughterhouse Nine (4-Game Series)

Hardcore and Larkin-Downing Championships
Detroit Wolverines @ South Dakota Marmosets (c)

Intercontinental and Television Championships
Rochester Generics (c) @ Detroit Wolverines

# ? Jun 20, 2016 18:29

ForeverBWFC: Oct 19, 2011; Oh, the lads! You should've seen 'em running!
Ask 'em why and they reply the Bolton Boys are coming! All the lads and lasses, smiles upon their faces,

WALKING DOWN THE MANNY ROAD, TO SEE THE BURNDEN ACES!

Slaughter in to LF, Gibson to the bench and Simmons to the DL.

New Rotation:
#1 Pete Alexander
#2 Steve Carlton
#3 Wanderlei Bolton
#4 Steve Carlton
#5 Burleigh Grimes

# ? Jun 20, 2016 18:53

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

ForeverBWFC posted:

New Rotation:
#1 Pete Alexander
#2 Steve Carlton
#3 Wanderlei Bolton
#4 Steve Carlton
#5 Burleigh Grimes

I know that you know that you can't rearrange your rotation that dramatically without forcing several of your starting pitchers to start on short rest.

# ? Jun 20, 2016 19:40

rabidsquid: Oct 11, 2004; LOVES THE KOG

mentholmoose posted:

You know, if I didn't already have a Ron Santo, and Babe Ruth wasn't hitting like some sort of god, that would be a deal I would consider.

Now imagine you were instead starting Josh Donaldson at third base!

# ? Jun 20, 2016 20:06

Clangbang: Jun 3, 2016

Yay, my EC team is already better then Shepard's ever was(according to Shepard).

Anyways, demote Thornton Lee, replace him at long relief with Stottlemyre

# ? Jun 20, 2016 20:46

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

Champs retain

# ? Jun 20, 2016 20:57

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

Clangbang posted:

Yay, my EC team is already better then Shepard's ever was(according to Shepard).

Anyways, demote Thornton Lee, replace him at long relief with Stottlemyre

You win the "correctly spelled 'stottlemyre'" trophy, which Armitage and Gabriel Pope have disqualified themselves from.

Your prize is the 1994 Todd Stottlemyre I have kicking around my feeders, delivered to you upon completion of the EC.

# ? Jun 20, 2016 21:04

Armitage: Aug 16, 2005; "Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."

Hey that's a hard name to spell

# ? Jun 20, 2016 21:10

CraigK: Nov 4, 2008; by exmarx

FairGame posted:

You win the "correctly spelled 'stottlemyre'" trophy, which Armitage and Gabriel Pope have disqualified themselves from.

Your prize is the 1994 Todd Stottlemyre I have kicking around my feeders, delivered to you upon completion of the EC.

the bonus category is to spell the name of the twins' first baseman from 1998-2004 who then became a journeyman, notably recording the last out of the 2004 world series, also getting in a legal kerfluffle with the red sox over who actually retained ownership of the baseball

# ? Jun 20, 2016 21:35

CraigK: Nov 4, 2008; by exmarx

and after that, you can spell the name of the left handed pitcher, first name marc, whose nickname is scrabble and started out as a starter for the blue jays before becoming a reliever for the cardinals, followed by a bunch of other teams, and is now a reliever for the a's at last check

# ? Jun 20, 2016 21:41

Armitage: Aug 16, 2005; "Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."

There's some dope on the braves with a dumb name

# ? Jun 20, 2016 21:42

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

CraigK posted:

the bonus category is to spell the name of the twins' first baseman from 1998-2004 who then became a journeyman, notably recording the last out of the 2004 world series, also getting in a legal kerfluffle with the red sox over who actually retained ownership of the baseball

Mienkiewicz

Rzepczynski

I hope I win versions of both of them!

e: oh goddammit there's a T in Malphabet's name somehow.

# ? Jun 20, 2016 21:44

CraigK: Nov 4, 2008; by exmarx

FairGame posted:

Mienkiewicz

Rzepczynski

I hope I win versions of both of them!

e: oh goddammit there's a T in Malphabet's name somehow.

between the "k" and the "i" but otherwise correct

and now i have an idea.

# ? Jun 20, 2016 21:46

Pash: Sep 10, 2009; The First of the Adorable Dead

Mientkiewicz was cool. He coaches in the Twins minor league system currently. Back when I was a kid the twins had ads that pretended that school house rocks made a song about how to spell Mientkiewicz's name because it was so complicated.

# ? Jun 20, 2016 21:49

CraigK: Nov 4, 2008; by exmarx

when cthulhu gets to hell for ripping off other owners, he will see a computer. he will be told told that he has a super league team. he will look at his team. he will see these names:

and then he will swear off making roster changes ever

# ? Jun 20, 2016 22:11

rabidsquid: Oct 11, 2004; LOVES THE KOG

my version of mogul 2005 seems to think the doug mapplecrabtwizc is the greatest defensive first baseman in baseball history

# ? Jun 20, 2016 22:30

Faustoan Bargain: Dec 24, 2009; I'd sell my soul for a pitcher with a power sinker...

Champs retain.

Injured Walker to DL; healthy Walker to RF; Lou Brock up to sit on the bench and think about what he did.

# ? Jun 20, 2016 22:30

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

rabidsquid posted:

my version of mogul 2005 seems to think the doug mapplecrabtwizc is the greatest defensive first baseman in baseball history

hm. 2013 says he's got a very good glove, but I don't know if it thinks he's the best thing ever. 68 range isn't anything to write home about either.

# ? Jun 20, 2016 23:18

TheMcD: May 4, 2013; Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

The question shouldn't be "is this guy actually a good defensive first baseman", but rather "why would you ever care about defense on a first baseman".

# ? Jun 20, 2016 23:23

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

TheMcD posted:

The question shouldn't be "is this guy actually a good defensive first baseman", but rather "why would you ever care about defense on a first baseman".

I always find out why when I try to put Dan Brouthers there.

Your first baseman gets so many chances that it's terrifying to see a .960 f% from him.

# ? Jun 20, 2016 23:27

CraigK: Nov 4, 2008; by exmarx

TheMcD posted:

The question shouldn't be "is this guy actually a good defensive first baseman", but rather "why would you ever care about defense on a first baseman".

the only time you should care about 1b defense is if your 1b is dan brouthers

# ? Jun 20, 2016 23:27

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 26, 2024 11:57

rabidsquid: Oct 11, 2004; LOVES THE KOG

Honestly anyone who has a non old dead Babe Ruth, I'd love to talk about my Ted Williams + one of my good third basemen. EC, Superleague, whatever. Or for any EC owners I could also give you some acceptable corner OFs.

But either way it's on the table to anybody.

# ? Jun 20, 2016 23:39

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

«‹›1996 »