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Hector Beerlioz posted:I watched an episode of Voyager today where Kes explained that to have a child she needed someone to massage her feet for an hour then have the mate hold hands for 6 days to impregnate her. Also, she needed to eat dirt for some reason. You know, we only had Kes's word that this is so. Maybe she's a just a loving weirdo.
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Jul 1, 2016 00:09
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They put weird orange spots on her hands, so idk
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Jul 1, 2016 00:10
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Hector Beerlioz posted:I watched an episode of Voyager today where Kes explained that to have a child she needed someone to massage her feet for an hour then have the mate hold hands for 6 days to impregnate her. Also, she needed to eat dirt for some reason. And her race can only give birth once. Why did Janeway think it was worth prolonging the life of this doomed species for another couple of generations?
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Jul 1, 2016 00:11
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Sunswipe posted:And her race can only give birth once. Why did Janeway think it was worth prolonging the life of this doomed species for another couple of generations? And they have their own mediocre kid together.
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Jul 1, 2016 00:16
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plushpuffin posted:You know, we only had Kes's word that this is so. Maybe she's a just a loving weirdo. Do Ocampans have comprehensive sex ed or is she just taking the "special hug mommy and daddies do" literally?
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Jul 1, 2016 00:23
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Through years of intensive meditation training and a rare generic gift, they can easily live to be 10 or 11.
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Jul 1, 2016 00:25
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criscodisco posted:Tricking stupid people into the sack isn't illegal, is it? Technically tricking anyone into having sex is counted as sexual assault at best, rape at worst. I'm sure Starfleet has even more stringent laws.
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Jul 1, 2016 00:26
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unless you're on the Shore Leave Planet, all rules are off there place is the god drat Disneyland of sexual assault
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Jul 1, 2016 00:32
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Tectonis posted:Do Ocampans have comprehensive sex ed or is she just taking the "special hug mommy and daddies do" literally? Tom has to rub her feet for an hour to get her moanatonin levels high enough for her hand spots to get flushed with blood and sensitive. They hold hands because her newly erogenous spots are absorbing his DNA to incorporate into the egg in her back. His semen is unneeded, he only gets down to business back there to feed his spunk to the growing fetus, so it can grow up big and strong. It's all very simple really.
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Jul 1, 2016 00:32
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The best Voyager is the one with the planet where time goes fast and they start shooting missiles at the space assholes who have been giving them earthquakes for their entire recorded history.
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Jul 1, 2016 00:44
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That sounds a lot like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAVAR63ZtQE
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Jul 1, 2016 00:45
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whole bunch o new posts in the voyager thread, let's take a lo-criscodisco posted:Tom has to rub her feet for an hour to get her moanatonin levels high enough for her hand spots to get flushed with blood and sensitive. They hold hands because her newly erogenous spots are absorbing his DNA to incorporate into the egg in her back. His semen is unneeded, he only gets down to business back there to feed his spunk to the growing fetus, so it can grow up big and strong. It's all very simple really. 
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Jul 1, 2016 00:48
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Big Mean Jerk posted:whole bunch o new posts in the voyager thread, let's take a lo- Can't handle the heat, get out of Neelix's kitchen
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Jul 1, 2016 00:56
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criscodisco posted:Tom has to rub her feet for an hour to get her moanatonin levels high enough for her hand spots to get flushed with blood and sensitive. They hold hands because her newly erogenous spots are absorbing his DNA to incorporate into the egg in her back. His semen is unneeded, he only gets down to business back there to feed his spunk to the growing fetus, so it can grow up big and strong. It's all very simple really. Tucker had it easy by comparison, all he had to do was touch some fish tank pebbles, let an alien creature grow between his ribs and nurse it from his wrist-nipple.
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Jul 1, 2016 00:58
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Volcott posted:The best Voyager is the one with the planet where time goes fast and they start shooting missiles at the space assholes who have been giving them earthquakes for their entire recorded history. That would have been a great episode for any of the series to have under their belts, but they still Voyagered it up by having the holographic doctor get stranded on the planet for several decades, in which this holographic man marries and has children.
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Jul 1, 2016 00:59
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Tectonis posted:Tucker had it easy by comparison, all he had to do was touch some fish tank pebbles, let an alien creature grow between his ribs and nurse it from his wrist-nipple. Wripple.
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Jul 1, 2016 01:00
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Volcott posted:The best Voyager is the one with the planet where time goes fast and they start shooting missiles at the space assholes who have been giving them earthquakes for their entire recorded history. Blink of an Eye. Based on a cool science fiction novel called Dragon's egg about life on a neutron star.
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Jul 1, 2016 01:00
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criscodisco posted:That would have been a great episode for any of the series to have under their belts, but they still Voyagered it up by having the holographic doctor get stranded on the planet for several decades, in which this holographic man marries and has children. He got someone else to impregnate his wife, like in popular movie The Postman.
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Jul 1, 2016 01:05
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i only caught half of it but the last episode i watched a day or two ago was uh the one where Species Number from Brake Fluidic Space made a fake starfleet academy and were like training infiltrators? ok but like they genuinely didn't know that Voyager wasn't alone so obviously their source of information about Earth wasn't just from them, but then how else did they get that info because Voyager was their only proof of Starfleet existing? and then like even if somehow they hacked the Voyager's Gibson and got all this info, somehow ignoring the info about them being alone and unsupported and Starfleet Principles blah blah then where did the information about like Boothby come from, and to such a degree that they could reproduce a recreation so realistic that Fake Boothby knew poo poo about Janeway personally from like 20 years ago at the Academy? at this point I'm willing to put into canon the idea that there is no Starfleet at all and is instead a massive cold war perpetuated by infiltrators in some kind of cosmic double bluff. there is no senior leadership left anymore and everyone is someone pretending to be someone else, and the entire structure is either Fluidic Aliens, Bugs, Changelings, or maybe just regular Section 31 Double Secret Humans and they're all spying on each other and accidentally keeping the whole organisation alive just to maintain their covers
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Jul 1, 2016 01:11
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Aaronicon posted:like they genuinely didn't know that Voyager wasn't alone so obviously their source of information about Earth wasn't just from them, but then how else did they get that info because Voyager was their only proof of Starfleet existing? Maybe from a destroyed Borg ship or drone, they are super telepathic so maybe the ripped the memories out of a drone that came from Wolf 359 or maybe the Voyager writers just ripped a huge fart and called it a script.
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Jul 1, 2016 01:15
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criscodisco posted:That would have been a great episode for any of the series to have under their belts, but they still Voyagered it up by having the holographic doctor get stranded on the planet for several decades, in which this holographic man marries and has children. hmm true how could a doctor with perfect recall of the sum total of the Federation's medical/biological knowledge, extensive personal experience with body-altering nanotechnology, the ability to produce holographic tools at will, access to technology from 28XX, and no need to ever sleep manage to figure out a way to impregnate a lady, in mere decades?
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Jul 1, 2016 01:34
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Squizzle posted:hmm true how could a doctor with perfect recall of the sum total of the Federation's medical/biological knowledge, extensive personal experience with body-altering nanotechnology, the ability to produce holographic tools at will, access to technology from 28XX, and no need to ever sleep manage to figure out a way to impregnate a lady, in mere decades? *injects hypomed and waves a couple of LEDs above wife* <Doctor> Hmm, that was surprisingly easy.
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Jul 1, 2016 01:36
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Squizzle posted:hmm true how could a doctor with perfect recall of the sum total of the Federation's medical/biological knowledge, extensive personal experience with body-altering nanotechnology, the ability to produce holographic tools at will, access to technology from 28XX, and no need to ever sleep manage to figure out a way to impregnate a lady, in mere decades? If Geordi programmed the hologram I can see it not having the info on how to get with a lady
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Jul 1, 2016 01:38
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You still can't make jizz out of force fields and have it knock a chick up. That's why even in Starfleet everyone treats Data and the doctor nice, but they still knows they're better than them.
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Jul 1, 2016 01:53
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criscodisco posted:You still can't make jizz out of force fields and have it knock a chick up. That's why even in Starfleet everyone treats Data and the doctor nice, but they still knows they're better than them. I'm pretty sure this is how we discovered warp drive
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Jul 1, 2016 02:01
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He could engineer a time-release jizz pellet genetically inspired by Dr. Zimmerman or something. Cram that down his photonic urethra and wait for the chance to release it into his wife. Or maybe that species had a different, weirder breeding method that was easier to spoof? Anything is possible the world of holographic jizz doctor space imagination. Squizzle fucked around with this message at 02:10 on Jul 1, 2016 |
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Jul 1, 2016 02:05
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If You Can Contemplate It, You Can Ejaculate It —Starfleet Medical motto, except in Latin or Vulcan
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Jul 1, 2016 02:10
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I wonder if the Doctor, who has no name himself, has named his penis.
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Jul 1, 2016 02:11
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That Vidiian girl's temp naming of the Dr to Schmulus sounds pretty drat penis like. Beowulf girl's Schweitzer too.
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Jul 1, 2016 02:32
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Squizzle posted:He could engineer a time-release jizz pellet genetically inspired by Dr. Zimmerman or something. Cram that down his photonic urethra and wait for the chance to release it into his wife. That still requires him to set up a small storage space inside his mouth and go blow an indigenous guy to get the jizz sample for his jizz pellet.
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Jul 1, 2016 02:35
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Tyson Tomko posted:That Vidiian girl's temp naming of the Dr to Schmulus sounds pretty drat penis like. Beowulf girl's Schweitzer too. Before she left she peeled off her vagina and gave it to him in a little box that he keeps in his desk drawer to this day.
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Jul 1, 2016 02:37
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Lmao the Definitely Not Alien episode where Janeway sics enormous viruses on the holodeck characters She's like "let's give them something else to sink their teeth into" and it cuts to a few seconds of the tropical resort holodeck before they are attacked by 90s-CG flying needle monsters
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Jul 1, 2016 02:46
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Monkey Fracas posted:Lmao the Definitely Not Alien episode where Janeway sics enormous viruses on the holodeck characters That's also the lamest possible ripoff of the holodeck scene in First Contact. Like, it would take writers of considerable talent just to pussy up that scene any more than giant viruses attack Club Med.
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Jul 1, 2016 02:51
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picard be like
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Jul 1, 2016 02:54
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criscodisco posted:That's also the lamest possible ripoff of the holodeck scene in First Contact. Like, it would take writers of considerable talent just to pussy up that scene any more than giant viruses attack Club Med. It almost seems inconceivable that the scene wasn't intentionally played for at least some minor black humor *few seconds of holocharacters doing holocharacter tropical resort things accompanied by steel drum music* *horribly animated attack, screaming, running in fear* Hard cut back to Janeway: "Good, it worked"
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Jul 1, 2016 03:47
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Big Mean Jerk posted:whole bunch o new posts in the voyager thread, let's take a lo- criscodisco's just gettin' warmed up. he used to be a regular over at the tv/iv trek thread
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Jul 1, 2016 06:21
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Huh? I've never heard of Star Trek in my entire life 
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Jul 1, 2016 07:17
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:criscodisco's just gettin' warmed up. he used to be a regular over at the tv/iv trek thread I remember, I just don't recall his detachable back-vagina fetish.
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Jul 1, 2016 09:12
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criscodisco posted:Before she left she peeled off her vagina and gave it to him in a little box that he keeps in his desk drawer to this day. you're becoming more unhinged with every post you make in this thread and frankly i just want to congratulate you
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Jul 1, 2016 11:27
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Nefarious 2.0 posted:you're becoming more unhinged with every post you make in this thread and frankly i just want to congratulate you Unhinged? Its pure vulcan logic. Someone who carries around a mobile emitter would naturally keep a mobile receptor.
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