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nm
Jan 28, 2008

"I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."
Also, if you have $50k in assets, you should hire a lawyer. Free wills are for broke grandmas who want to make sure their grandson gets her 1986 ford taurus and granddaughter gets her cat collection.
Simple wills are cheap and complex wills for large estates are cheaper than contested wills.

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blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

Droo posted:

I am using Quicken Willmaker 2016 (updated from my previous 2009 version) which gives you a somewhat freeform box to enter each specific bequest.

Well, fuckin don't. The quickest way to buy your heirs litigation is to give the money to third parties (or disinherit one of them), and the best thing to do to make it easy on people challenging your wills is to try and do it yourself.

Pay the $600 to have a lawyer do it.

HondaCivet
Oct 16, 2005

And then it falls
And then I fall
And then I know


I'm in Seattle. My landlord is being a dick about my security deposit and it's possible that I'll have to take it to small claims court. However I am moving back to Wisconsin. Is it possible to handle that stuff by phone or Skype or something? Or could I force the landlord to cover my travel expenses if I won?

Hot Dog Day #91
Jun 19, 2003

Probably not on both counts.

HondaCivet
Oct 16, 2005

And then it falls
And then I fall
And then I know


So basically if I'm not in the area anymore I can't take my landlord to court?

EwokEntourage
Jun 10, 2008

BREYER: Actually, Antonin, you got it backwards. See, a power bottom is actually generating all the dissents by doing most of the work.

SCALIA: Stephen, I've heard that speed has something to do with it.

BREYER: Speed has everything to do with it.

HondaCivet posted:

So basically if I'm not in the area anymore I can't take my landlord to court?

You have to show up for court, yes.

Deteriorata
Feb 6, 2005

HondaCivet posted:

So basically if I'm not in the area anymore I can't take my landlord to court?

You'll have to balance the cost of traveling back to Seattle to appear in court with the amount of damages you'd win. If you landlord knew you were moving out of state, he may have already done that calculation.

pathetic little tramp
Dec 12, 2005

by Hillary Clinton's assassins
Fallen Rib
Little known rule if you move far away, every landlord will keep your security deposit because they know it'll cost you too much to come back and fight them. I factored losing my security deposit when I moved from San Diego to Louisville.

You can try bluffing, that's about it. Seattle security deposit is what, 2500? At least it'll be cheaper to get by in Wisconsin!

HondaCivet
Oct 16, 2005

And then it falls
And then I fall
And then I know


Ha, yeah maybe he already thought of it. Fortunately it's not a super huge deposit and I'll live without it. Just wow landlords are all loving scum.

bigpolar
Jun 19, 2003

pathetic little tramp posted:

Little known rule if you move far away, every landlord will keep your security deposit because they know it'll cost you too much to come back and fight them. I factored losing my security deposit when I moved from San Diego to Louisville.

You can try bluffing, that's about it. Seattle security deposit is what, 2500? At least it'll be cheaper to get by in Wisconsin!

If you are just going to write it off, you might as well try one of the websites that offers to fight for you. Some have decent reviews, and most are on contingency.

I would do it just to be a pain in the rear end of a scamming slumlord, but I'm just vindictive like that.

HondaCivet
Oct 16, 2005

And then it falls
And then I fall
And then I know


bigpolar posted:

If you are just going to write it off, you might as well try one of the websites that offers to fight for you. Some have decent reviews, and most are on contingency.

I would do it just to be a pain in the rear end of a scamming slumlord, but I'm just vindictive like that.

What are these sites? I have PMs if you don't want to post about it on here for some reason.

bigpolar
Jun 19, 2003

HondaCivet posted:

What are these sites? I have PMs if you don't want to post about it on here for some reason.

You can google for them, but the only one I've personally talked to people who used it is http://securitydepositrefund.org. I've never used them, no personal experience, but word of mouth was that they were decent in Florida. Not sure how good they will be in your state, you should do your own research.

Maneki Neko
Oct 27, 2000

So this may be a dumb question, but I'm curious as my cousin is getting divorced and things just went from 0 to poo poo-town with a surprise court filing from her ex.

How is it ethical for a lawyer to make false claims in court filings? Not like "oh yeah, that's a gray area", but "this can be easily proven false and the filing party knows it". Are there legal ramifications for the party making those false claims later on?

From an ethical standpoint is the lawyer in the clear as long as they don't know that the claims are false? I've never talked to a divorce lawyer, but I'd assume that they would ask if you can prove the things you're claiming in your filing? Or is it just expected that people in these kinds of situations make crazy claims and the judge will reconcile everything?

Maneki Neko fucked around with this message at 01:32 on Jul 6, 2016

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

Maneki Neko posted:

From an ethical standpoint is the lawyer in the clear as long as they don't know that the claims are false?

Basically, yes. Also, try and prove that the lawyer knew they were false.

And one thing you learn in this job, is that everybody lies, to their cousins, their lawyers, and especially to themselves.

Hot Dog Day #91
Jun 19, 2003

In court, and in filings with the court, we often will be making claims our clients have said. "She's a cheating whore" is really "my client says she's a cheating whore."

It can be difficult to separate the lawyer from the client some time. And some lawyers will make whatever accusation their dumb client tells them to. But it's not necessarily an ethical violation.

xxEightxx
Mar 5, 2010

Oh, it's true. You are Brock Landers!
Salad Prong

Maneki Neko posted:

So this may be a dumb question, but I'm curious as my cousin is getting divorced and things just went from 0 to poo poo-town with a surprise court filing from her ex.

How is it ethical for a lawyer to make false claims in court filings? Not like "oh yeah, that's a gray area", but "this can be easily proven false and the filing party knows it". Are there legal ramifications for the party making those false claims later on?

From an ethical standpoint is the lawyer in the clear as long as they don't know that the claims are false? I've never talked to a divorce lawyer, but I'd assume that they would ask if you can prove the things you're claiming in your filing? Or is it just expected that people in these kinds of situations make crazy claims and the judge will reconcile everything?

Complaints are allegations, and typically aren't verified. Because of all the procedural safeguards facing a whack job complaint I can't imagine the ethical bar is very high, that's what responsive pleadings, discovery, and msj/msa are for. Generally the judge won't chime in unless a party invites her to do so via a motion etc. ymmv by jurisdiction.

Nakar
Sep 2, 2002

Ultima Ratio Regum
Since court proceedings are adversarial the judge is going to assume if a materially false statement is made by a party that the other party will state such in their own pleadings (or response) and that both sides will then back up what they present with evidence. If a provably false statement is not backed up and proven false, a judge or jury isn't going to overlook that. If they lied you can file a document that says "claims X, Y, and Z are false because A, B, and C," that's your safeguard.

It's an enormous ethical gray area beyond that. The attorney doesn't always know everything the client does and is reliant upon their client to provide them with accurate information. While it's very possible that the other side's attorney knows the claims made are false, it's impossible to prove and the easiest dodge in the world is "my client assured me that his statements were true and I would be in breach of my duty to zealously represent my client if I tried to exclude his claims because I wasn't 100% sure that he was being honest with me" or even "my client outright lied to me and the court, whaddaya gonna do?" You will practically never nail a lawyer on that unless he's done something dumb like record himself outside of privileged communications bragging about lying in filings or something.

Discendo Vox
Mar 21, 2013

This does not make sense when, again, aggregate indicia also indicate improvements. The belief that things are worse is false. It remains false.
There's an editorial in the Washington Post by Matt Miller saying Comey's commentary during the statement declaring no recommendation of charges on Clintonemailgate4 is an abuse of power and a violation of the FBI's norms of conduct in reporting charge recommendations. Is that an accurate account, or is there some precedent for the sort of editorializing Comey did?

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

bone shaking.
soul baking.
Comey was in a no win situation and was trying to cover his rear end for the inevitable congressional hearing. Police come out all the time and explain why or not they are recommending charges in high profile cases.

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer
I don't know that there are any formal guidelines for how, or whether to say, "this is what we think happened, and that's why we aren't filing charges," but it does happen, although he does seem to concede that he went a little far out of bounds.

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

bone shaking.
soul baking.

blarzgh posted:

I don't know that there are any formal guidelines for how, or whether to say, "this is what we think happened, and that's why we aren't filing charges," but it does happen, although he does seem to concede that he went a little far out of bounds.

Considering he knew that the moment he said "no recommendation" that he would be sitting in front of members of both houses getting grilled for not ruining Clinton's presidential chances, I figure he wanted to get his message out first and set up his inevitable defense.

He was hosed before he stepped on that stage. Either say prosecute with no real evidence and get eviscerated in court and by one half of the political spectrum, or do what he did and get eviscerated by the other half. Comey is in full CYA mode and trying to shield his agents from the shitstorm that's raining down on him.

BonerGhost
Mar 9, 2007

Are polygraphs actually used in criminal cases in the way that laypeople think they are? If not, are they used in the way hearsay can be, like to demonstrate someone's behavior or thinking?

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

Mr. Nice! posted:

Considering he knew that the moment he said "no recommendation" that he would be sitting in front of members of both houses getting grilled for not ruining Clinton's presidential chances, I figure he wanted to get his message out first and set up his inevitable defense.

He was hosed before he stepped on that stage. Either say prosecute with no real evidence and get eviscerated in court and by one half of the political spectrum, or do what he did and get eviscerated by the other half. Comey is in full CYA mode and trying to shield his agents from the shitstorm that's raining down on him.

Hes got plenty of evidence of gross negligence; his comments are basically 'she hosed up real bad, and we have no way of knowing if top secret information was stolen by hackers.' hes in position to elect the defacto next president of the united states and is choosing not to do anything about it.

In other words, if he does prosecute, win or lose, he'll be buying the election for Trump. If he doesn't, then Hillary will probably win.

This is what I think.

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

NancyPants posted:

Are polygraphs actually used in criminal cases in the way that laypeople think they are? If not, are they used in the way hearsay can be, like to demonstrate someone's behavior or thinking?

How do lay people think they're used? I was under the impression that everybody thought polygraph test results were inadmissible.

BonerGhost
Mar 9, 2007

blarzgh posted:

How do lay people think they're used? I was under the impression that everybody thought polygraph test results were inadmissible.

Gosh, I wish. People seem to think that a polygraph can be used to determine whether you perjured yourself, for one. Some folks seem to think that a polygraphed interrogation where a suspect is asked "did you do this crime" and they deny, but the poly says they lied, means that the poly can be used as proof that he did it.

I couldn't imagine that they could be used in either case, but hell, fingerprinting and bite analysis are still used despite no scientific basis for their accuracy soooo

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer
I think in Texas they're only admissible in as character evidence in probation hearings or something.

Basically every state is different as to whether and what for they are admissible, but I don't think they are considered gospel anywhere by any stretch.

hooah
Feb 6, 2006
WTF?
My wife and I are in the process of buying our first house (in Texas), and we just received the "Commitment for Title Insurance" and "Declaration of Covenants, Conditions and Restrictions" from the title company. The house was built in 2005, and most of the stuff in the second document seems to be from the early 2000s except for an HOA addendum from 2013. Is there anything I should look out for in either of these documents?

Hot Dog Day #91
Jun 19, 2003

Look for blacked our language restricting gays, blacks, and Hispanics from living there. My house came with such a covenant. Neat to read.

Read the hoa stuff especially, but unless you're a lawyer title stuff can be really dense and confusing. If you're legitimately worried about it, retain a real estate attorney to review and advise you.

Practically speaking, what kind of restrictions or easements would cause you to back out of the deal?

hooah
Feb 6, 2006
WTF?

Hot Dog Day #91 posted:

Look for blacked our language restricting gays, blacks, and Hispanics from living there. My house came with such a covenant. Neat to read.

Read the hoa stuff especially, but unless you're a lawyer title stuff can be really dense and confusing. If you're legitimately worried about it, retain a real estate attorney to review and advise you.

Practically speaking, what kind of restrictions or easements would cause you to back out of the deal?

I have no idea what kinds of restrictions or easements even exist in general. Where could I go to find that information? I'll look for the things you mentioned.

bigpolar
Jun 19, 2003

hooah posted:

My wife and I are in the process of buying our first house (in Texas), and we just received the "Commitment for Title Insurance" and "Declaration of Covenants, Conditions and Restrictions" from the title company. The house was built in 2005, and most of the stuff in the second document seems to be from the early 2000s except for an HOA addendum from 2013. Is there anything I should look out for in either of these documents?

If the house not being in an HOA wasn't disclosed by the seller, you may be able to back out of the sale if it matters to you. After my current experience with a busybody wannabe HOA I'm probably never going to buy another house that has ever been breathed on by one.

When I bought my house, there was no HOA documents. Then I started getting bills for dues. Made me hopping mad because "No HOA" was the number 1 criteria my wife and I gave our realtor, and we refused to consider any houses in one.

Turns out my neighborhood was built in 3 stages, with houses originally in an HOA. My house was built in the first stage, and that particular HOA disbanded because they didn't file all their required paperwork a decade ago. The new HOA is trying to claim they inherited all the houses from the defunct HOA, but they apparently can't force us in without consent. They can sue me and file groundless liens on my house that I have to pay to fight, though. And our retarded legal system lets them get away with it.

Too bad for them I have the money to fight them and a burning hatred of HOAs to motivate me. Looks like I'm going to be making some lawyer really happy in the near future, if they follow through on their threats. Just wish I could sue them for what the defense of their baseless claims is going to cost me.

So, my advice, never buy a house that is in an HOA or ever was.

hooah
Feb 6, 2006
WTF?
Yeah, too late for that. We knew there was an HOA going in, but it doesn't seem too crazy. I definitely wish you luck, though, that's some bullshit.

pathetic little tramp
Dec 12, 2005

by Hillary Clinton's assassins
Fallen Rib

bigpolar posted:

If the house not being in an HOA wasn't disclosed by the seller, you may be able to back out of the sale if it matters to you. After my current experience with a busybody wannabe HOA I'm probably never going to buy another house that has ever been breathed on by one.

When I bought my house, there was no HOA documents. Then I started getting bills for dues. Made me hopping mad because "No HOA" was the number 1 criteria my wife and I gave our realtor, and we refused to consider any houses in one.

Turns out my neighborhood was built in 3 stages, with houses originally in an HOA. My house was built in the first stage, and that particular HOA disbanded because they didn't file all their required paperwork a decade ago. The new HOA is trying to claim they inherited all the houses from the defunct HOA, but they apparently can't force us in without consent. They can sue me and file groundless liens on my house that I have to pay to fight, though. And our retarded legal system lets them get away with it.

Too bad for them I have the money to fight them and a burning hatred of HOAs to motivate me. Looks like I'm going to be making some lawyer really happy in the near future, if they follow through on their threats. Just wish I could sue them for what the defense of their baseless claims is going to cost me.

So, my advice, never buy a house that is in an HOA or ever was.

Get a bigass flagpole to hang a gigantic American flag outside your house, as ostentatiously huge as possible. Let 'em sue you over that!

Discendo Vox
Mar 21, 2013

This does not make sense when, again, aggregate indicia also indicate improvements. The belief that things are worse is false. It remains false.
HOAs are perhaps the worst legal structure in American law. At a minimum, they're up there. I have trouble thinking of any other entity less defensible.

Hot Dog Day #91
Jun 19, 2003

hooah posted:

I have no idea what kinds of restrictions or easements even exist in general. Where could I go to find that information? I'll look for the things you mentioned.

What you just asked is "please tell me about real property law." If there's something in particular you're worried about or don't understand it's with it to ask a lawyer. But remember that your solution is to back out of the sale. Its too broad a question to really answer succinctly.

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

hooah posted:

I have no idea what kinds of restrictions or easements even exist in general. Where could I go to find that information? I'll look for the things you mentioned.

Schedule B of your title commitment, "Reservations and Exceptions from Conveyance."

(Edit: sometimes its schedule C)

Chasiubao
Apr 2, 2010


Hot Dog Day #91 posted:

What you just asked is "please tell me about real property law." If there's something in particular you're worried about or don't understand it's with it to ask a lawyer. But remember that your solution is to back out of the sale. Its too broad a question to really answer succinctly.

hooah posted:

I have no idea what kinds of restrictions or easements even exist in general. Where could I go to find that information? I'll look for the things you mentioned.

I mean, I'm just an idiot on somethingawful dot com, but I feel like if you're about to shell out a lot of money on a house, probably the most you've ever spent in your life, you should probably pay a real life lawyer some money instead of asking Internet lawyers :shrug:

Not that SA Internet lawyers aren't good lawyers, I just mean, they're not gonna do it all, especially for free on a comedy forum.

hooah
Feb 6, 2006
WTF?
Yeah, that's perfectly reasonable. I just thought maybe there are some common things to beware of. Thanks!

Hot Dog Day #91
Jun 19, 2003

It all really depends on the kind of home and location of it, and what your intended uses are. Check out the home buying thread in ask tell as well. The answer to all your questions is "buying a house is a bad idea."

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

Hot Dog Day #91 posted:

It all really depends on the kind of home and location of it, and what your intended uses are. Check out the home buying thread in ask tell as well. The answer to all your questions is "buying a house is a bad idea."

Yes

Except for like me where I plan to live here until death and the rent ownership price ration is like 10:1

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blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer
Do you not have a real estate agent?

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