|
H.H posted:If it weren't for CJacobs and his friend Fae I would not have amassed a collection of toys. By toys I mean anthropomorphic dildos. I'm not even joking. So this is probably the closest way to say thanks, your dong chat about where to buy dargon dildos is pretty helpful. Haha sweet, I'm glad I have done some good in the world
|
# ? Jul 10, 2016 04:34 |
|
|
# ? May 13, 2024 09:20 |
|
Anthropomorphic dildo knowledge once again brings people together and improves lives!
|
# ? Jul 10, 2016 04:46 |
|
"costco sized bottle of ketchup" That's the kind of detail you find in a REAL confession, take note, fiction writers! Sad homeschooled goon, I had a friend growing up whose parents went crazy with religion--they removed his door from the hinges, so he basically had zero privacy. “They gently caress you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. But they were hosed up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats, Who half the time were soppy-stern And half at one another's throats. Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don't have any kids yourself.”
|
# ? Jul 10, 2016 06:34 |
|
A Strange Aeon posted:"costco sized bottle of ketchup" Seriously. brought back memories of dodging cans of tesco value baked beans.
|
# ? Jul 10, 2016 06:48 |
|
A Strange Aeon, indeed. Just stop for a second and remind yourself how amazingly unlikely it is that you were born at all, not to mention exist as part of this radical era in human history.
|
# ? Jul 10, 2016 06:48 |
|
quote:chubby guys are very cute!!!!! also nice avatar H.H but have you thought of getting a reginald avatar quote:I've been cutting myself for the past two years. It's gotten worst. I have scars now. I keep drinking and getting high to help but when I'm sober I want to die. I have a girlfriend that loves me and knows what it's happening but I'm gonna eventually kill myself and everyone is gonna forget about me.
|
# ? Jul 10, 2016 15:04 |
|
Two things w/r/t to these last two confessions: 1. WTF is a Reginald avatar? 2. Can someone link me to the US suicide prevention hotline (and maybe the UK one too) so I can put it in the OP? I feel like there will be more of these confessions down the road.
|
# ? Jul 10, 2016 15:07 |
|
H.H posted:
US # is: 1-800-273-8255
|
# ? Jul 10, 2016 15:24 |
|
that guy is wrong clearly Hotel Mario avs are the hot new thing
|
# ? Jul 10, 2016 15:27 |
|
Is the suicide confession Golem II? I ask because it's kind of conspicuous that someone posts in this thread about wanting to commit suicide, he gets a probie, and then an anonymous confession shows up saying the same thing. Well, regardless of whether they are the same person, that poster and the confessor should both seriously consider calling that phone number. Gotta wonder what's going through that girlfriend's head if she knows about this, loves him, and apparently isn't doing anything.
|
# ? Jul 10, 2016 15:34 |
|
In less serious news Reginald is a blue birb from a popular webcomic What exactly is an "anthropomorphic" dildo, does it have arms and legs and walk around and talk in a goofy voice or is it actually shaped like a little person whose entire body you shove inside of your own because I'd definitely believe that either or both of those are real fetishes I think I remember someone in D&D talking about their sister being a weird Tumblr shut-in and being told by all goons present that she was definitely raped, case closed *gavel bang* because that's the kind of thing the super-sleuths in D&D would say rather than admitting that people can in fact be simultaneously super weird and politically liberal Homeschooling part is news to me though. Honestly I think people should need a government permit to homeschool, and get evaluated via standardized testing just like teachers do. Otherwise there is nothing to stop them from doing something like this, and homeschooling seems like the perfect way for an abusive personality to keep their children under their thumb. Also, requiring a government permit to homeschool would really really piss off homeschool types (added bonus)
|
# ? Jul 10, 2016 15:41 |
|
Why would you need to anonymously confess to liking chubby guys? Dad bods are great.
|
# ? Jul 10, 2016 18:24 |
|
Homeschooling is totally norm--
|
# ? Jul 10, 2016 21:54 |
|
^^^ please don't let this be real and just attention whoring Isn't there a difference between "Dad bod" and chubby? Afaik Dad bod basically means works out, drinks too much beer and a hipster beard, chubby is no workout, too much food, neckbeard. I.e. tiny bit of a beerbelly but generally fit vs. overall too much weight Hopper fucked around with this message at 21:57 on Jul 10, 2016 |
# ? Jul 10, 2016 21:55 |
|
It's fake. Don't worry.
|
# ? Jul 10, 2016 22:46 |
|
Chubby and dad bod are same things to me. Guys who are sort of active, sometimes indulge too much, kinda soft around the belly. Once the stomach starts to hang over the belt and you need a beard to cover your neck, well that's just fat.
|
# ? Jul 10, 2016 22:47 |
Hedrigall posted:Homeschooling is totally norm-- lol.
|
|
# ? Jul 10, 2016 22:48 |
quote:
How do you know your sisters owns a bunch of dildos?
|
|
# ? Jul 10, 2016 23:00 |
Obviously she keeps them in the cabinet with the fine China
|
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 01:34 |
|
But are the human dildos or animal dildos? That's the real question. CJacobs I hope you're still around. We need some expertise re: non human dildo.
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 01:47 |
SniperWoreConverse posted:Obviously she keeps them in the cabinet with the fine China Lol at a righteous christian upbringing resulting in your daughter having a display case full of the finest synthetic dicks and a sailor moon obsession.
|
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 01:54 |
|
skeletonotherkin posted:Lol at a righteous christian upbringing resulting in your daughter having a display case full of the finest synthetic dicks and a sailor moon obsession. It makes complete sense to me actually due to the whole "not spending all day in a big building with a bunch of other kids her own age" thing Poor girl's probably only ever had social interactions of any type through Tumblr, of course she's gonna be Tumblr personified. And a collection of forty dildos in all shapes and colors is just the ladygoon equivalent of a hard drive containing 2TB of lovingly categorized porn in a directory labeled "boring work stuff".
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 02:33 |
|
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 03:08 |
|
OP!!! Post a picture of a dog w/ each confession so we can pretend it's that dog what has the embarrassing porblem.
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 03:11 |
|
Ork of Fiction posted:OP!!! It would make that one where the dude and his wife like to gently caress dogs a lot more acceptable
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 04:04 |
|
quote:I have become convinced that my parents are or were KGB (or similar) agents who started our family in America as a cover. There is little history of our family that I know of - they claim our grandparents died before we were born, so it got me to thinking. It all adds up - they always pushed socialist views on us as kids and when I went through a brief patriotic phase they were extremely angry about it. They were always really vigilant, overly so, and would drag us out of places back home for seemingly no reason. quote:Everyone who commented:
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 04:27 |
|
what was the Illuminati one?? I don't feel like digging through tons of cuck fantasies and people that would legit be excused for committing suicide
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 04:37 |
|
your parents aren't KGB you loving moron. they were interested because you're their child and you got a cool job.
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 04:51 |
|
I really hope the insane KGB guy isn't being serious about reporting his parents
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 04:55 |
|
Report your parents and renew your Netflix agreement so you dint miss anymore episodes of The Americans.
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 05:18 |
|
CJacobs posted:I really hope the insane KGB guy isn't being serious about reporting his parents its not impossible
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 06:11 |
|
Solice Kirsk posted:Report your parents and renew your Netflix agreement so you dint miss anymore episodes of The Americans. Yeah when I was reading that my first thought was "looks like someone just started watching the Americans". That, and someone desperate to inflate their job's importance in their mind. In my experience probably 95+% jobs "with clearance" are pretty mundane and highly unlikely to have access to anything interesting enough to spies. Even the cafeteria workers at research labs have (limited) clearance. Sounds like mom asked her computer janitor son how lunch was too many times and decided she was trying to access his super secret important knowledge of how much his lab/whatever spent on a hammer last quarter. Like do you really think they sent agents to start a family in america in the off chance that maybe 20-30 years down the road their son may or may not get a job with a very off chance that it will be even of remote interest to their government?
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 06:12 |
|
if it were real in any way the parents probably were just jokingly telling their kid to spill some secrets. I know I'd do that as soon as my kid got government clearance.
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 06:14 |
|
There's also the fact that you have to go through a pretty thorough interview process with family/friends for clearance so if anything was off about his family history they would have found out about it. I guess that guy got lost on his way to the stdh.txt thread, like almost every other confession ever posted.
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 06:19 |
|
Don't listen to the propaganda of these credulous internet Marxists! Fulfill your patriotic destiny and murder you are famil!!
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 06:25 |
Cowman posted:if it were real in any way the parents probably were just jokingly telling their kid to spill some secrets. I know I'd do that as soon as my kid got government clearance. This and then I'd beat rear end if they said anything Lol that this goon is gonna McCarthy mom & pop the old socialists
|
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 09:22 |
|
lil pissbitch posted:I hope there's another confession soon... I suggest you adopt the new mantra "REAL BEEFY BEAT FEEBLY".
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 13:36 |
|
I used to think that my parents were talking in code but as I got older I realised that they were actually talking about smoking weed
|
# ? Jul 11, 2016 15:13 |
|
quote:I'm a gay guy, and that's all fine and dandy.
|
# ? Jul 12, 2016 05:25 |
|
|
# ? May 13, 2024 09:20 |
|
i can already tell you CJacob's dildos probably came from a lets play
|
# ? Jul 12, 2016 05:28 |