STAR TREK: Picard's Assimilated Balls

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > STAR TREK: Picard's Assimilated Balls

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Baronjutter posted:

Except they do the whole "Oh hey I need helper. Computer: generate the universe's best expert in this field to help me" and bam, there he is after Kim spending like 10 min tuning him up. The doctor could easily have a few nurses and assistants on file.

That really didn't make sense. If they had all that Cardassian's knowledge in the computer, why couldn't the Doctor just access it without recreating alien Dr Mengele? I suppose everything really comes down to one question: why is Voyager so poo poo?

e: That could have been a better story. The Doctor accesses the information needed to save Torres, but it starts corrupting his ethics protocols and the crew have to decide whether to keep a more effective Doctor who might do things they don't agree with, or restore the more incompetent but ethically-correct Doctor. Could have made a good source of tension along the Starfleet/Maquis split. The Starfleet officers are horrified by the new Doctor experimenting on aliens they find, whereas the Maquis have more of a "gently caress it, if he's better at keeping us alive now, we keep him" attitude.

Sunswipe fucked around with this message at 16:35 on Jul 12, 2016

# ? Jul 12, 2016 16:31

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 23:42

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

criscodisco posted:

I saw a warp bubble once in the back of a van.

I gave your mom a warp bubble in the back of my van

# ? Jul 12, 2016 16:32

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

All the windows were busted out and my dad's friend Zeb was doing his Carl Sandburg impression.

# ? Jul 12, 2016 16:33

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

He called it a cum fart but I know warp tech when I see it.

# ? Jul 12, 2016 16:34

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

criscodisco posted:

He called it a cum fart but I know warp tech when I see it.

I called it a 7, but your mom said it was a 9

# ? Jul 12, 2016 16:37

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

My mom said your donger was all lumpy and weird and you jizzed in your he-man underoos

# ? Jul 12, 2016 16:39

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

Sunswipe posted:

For that matter, why not perform all surgery in a holodeck? There'd be nothing in there that shouldn't be, you could create copies of the greatest surgeons who ever lived, zero risk of infection, no chance of surgical equipment getting left in the patient (even if you left a scalpel in them, it would disappear when they left the holodeck). For that matter they could create copies of the greatest Starfleet officers to get them home instead of relying on Janeway and Chakotay. I think I've just created another better idea for Voyager.

I once had a nerd-rear end conversation with a non-goon friend about how the Doctor's mobile emitter was dumb, but a hacked-together holographic field surgery set-up would have owned. A bunch of ~~poles with blinking LEDs~~ holodeck projectors cannibalized from the actual holodeck, and a big suitcase-sized battery or generator or whatever. The actual prop details don't matter, tbh, but we thought it would have been neat if the Doctor could participate in the off-ship adventures in a way that remained honest to the concepts of both the character (emphasizing his hologramness because even off-ship, he's limited in location to the operating theater, plus probably has to deal with a time limit from draining the portable power supply) and the show (a half-guerrilla crew improvising to cover the lack of Federation support infrastructure).

But obviously, no one asked us for our input, so we were just armchair dorkerbacking. :shrug:

# ? Jul 12, 2016 16:41

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The Original Series was so good

# ? Jul 12, 2016 16:56

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

oldpainless posted:

The Original Series was so good

Aye!

# ? Jul 12, 2016 17:24

Powered Descent: Jul 13, 2008; We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.

criscodisco posted:

He called it a cum fart but I know warp tech when I see it.

um excuse me it's called a bio-neural gel pack

# ? Jul 12, 2016 17:28

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Squizzle posted:

I once had a nerd-rear end conversation with a non-goon friend about how the Doctor's mobile emitter was dumb, but a hacked-together holographic field surgery set-up would have owned. A bunch of ~~poles with blinking LEDs~~ holodeck projectors cannibalized from the actual holodeck, and a big suitcase-sized battery or generator or whatever. The actual prop details don't matter, tbh, but we thought it would have been neat if the Doctor could participate in the off-ship adventures in a way that remained honest to the concepts of both the character (emphasizing his hologramness because even off-ship, he's limited in location to the operating theater, plus probably has to deal with a time limit from draining the portable power supply) and the show (a half-guerrilla crew improvising to cover the lack of Federation support infrastructure).

But obviously, no one asked us for our input, so we were just armchair dorkerbacking.

Red Dwarf did something similar with Rimmer early on. To get him off the ship he had to be in a "holo cage," which was pretty much your idea with added cage to emphasise how trapped Rimmer was/add comedic humiliation. They ditched that later on and eventually went with the light bee idea so he could do stuff outside the ship without needing a bulky prop.

So basically, the low-budget sitcom sci-fi show handled the idea better than Voyager did.

# ? Jul 12, 2016 17:29

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

oldpainless posted:

The Original Series was so good

Not as good as Voyager

# ? Jul 12, 2016 17:38

treiz01: Jan 2, 2008; There is little that makes me happier than taking drugs. Perhaps administering them, designing and carrying out experiments that bend the plane of what we consider reality.

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Not as good as Voyager

Bait spotted.

# ? Jul 12, 2016 17:45

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Hector Beerlioz posted:

Not as good as Voyager

# ? Jul 12, 2016 17:46

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Not as good as Voyager

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Jul 12, 2016 18:01

Powered Descent: Jul 13, 2008; We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Not as good as Voyager

# ? Jul 12, 2016 18:39

Big Mean Jerk: Jan 27, 2009; Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Not as good as Voyager

# ? Jul 12, 2016 18:42

Bloodfart McCoy: Jul 20, 2007; That's a high quality avatar right there.

Powered Descent posted:

I think this I had this for my av a while back.

# ? Jul 12, 2016 18:44

Crowsbeak: Oct 9, 2012; by Azathoth; Lipstick Apathy

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Not as good as Voyager

# ? Jul 12, 2016 18:47

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

# ? Jul 12, 2016 20:53

Elusif: Jun 9, 2008

Booblord Zagats posted:

A highly correct opinion.

# ? Jul 12, 2016 21:03

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

Trek is good. Stargate is good. Dr. Who is bad.

# ? Jul 12, 2016 21:07

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

Baronjutter posted:

Trek is good. Stargate is good. Dr. Who is bad.

There was an article on cracked a year or so ago and the author kept saying that David Tennant was the sexiest man ever born and the only man who had ever made him question his sexuality and it kept going on and on about it so I thought "a gorgeous guy in a sci-fi show? Sold!" so I went to watch an episode on BBC-A and he came on and I couldn't stop laughing like wtf.

# ? Jul 12, 2016 21:11

GET IN THE ROBOT: Nov 28, 2007; JUST GET IN THE FUCKING ROBOT SHINJI

It really seems like the people who like Dr. Who like it mainly because they really want to gently caress the characters on the show

# ? Jul 12, 2016 21:24

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

I like the dr who serials from the 60s and 70s. They are monster movies broken up into 4 or so episodes.

# ? Jul 12, 2016 21:26

Big Mean Jerk: Jan 27, 2009; Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Gammatron 64 posted:

It really seems like the people who like Dr. Who like it mainly because they really want to gently caress the characters on the show

The new show, maybe, and that's why fans of the modern revival are the absolute worst. Go watch some of the old episodes with the bubble-wrap monsters and the lovely pacing, you entitled fuckhead tumblrs :argh:

# ? Jul 12, 2016 21:36

AugmentedVision: Feb 17, 2011; by exmarx

Tos sucked, gene was an idiot, and trek only got good when he died

# ? Jul 12, 2016 21:58

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

Eeeehh, Matt Smith's first season is worth watching, except for one super-bland two-parter in the middle. It's not high art, but it's a sweet time-travel fairy tale series with a decent enough payoff for the overarching plot.

I'd rate that season at 0.8 farscapes of entertainment, balancing for number of episodes. British SFX are way lower-quality than Australian muppets, but British overacting for children is more believable than Australian overacting for adults.

# ? Jul 12, 2016 21:59

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

Hector Beerlioz posted:

I like the dr who serials from the 60s and 70s. They are monster movies broken up into 4 or so episodes.

Those are the only ones I've seen, and it was only a few. When I was a kid they used to show them in their entirety late late night on PBS. The only one that I can remember was on where spaces kudzu was growing out of control, until it was just a guy in a ghillie suit superimposed behind brutalism-era apartment buildings.

# ? Jul 12, 2016 22:04

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

criscodisco posted:

Those are the only ones I've seen, and it was only a few. When I was a kid they used to show them in their entirety late late night on PBS. The only one that I can remember was on where spaces kudzu was growing out of control, until it was just a guy in a ghillie suit superimposed behind brutalism-era apartment buildings.

I believe that is The Seeds of Doom

# ? Jul 12, 2016 22:09

tmm3k: Jul 19, 2006

It's a decent enough series with some really cheesy episodes with awkward effects, and some other pretty good episodes for sci-fi. The best episodes are when the doctor really chews up the scenery and ultimately saves the day with his ~~sonic screwdriver~~ hypospray full of Borg nanoprobes.

# ? Jul 12, 2016 22:18

Elusif: Jun 9, 2008

speaking of stargate sg-1, for that special episode where they parody a bunch of other sci-fi shows at once, what is the one that is really confusing a parody of?

# ? Jul 12, 2016 22:21

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AugmentedVision posted:

Tos sucked, gene was an idiot, and trek only got good when he died

# ? Jul 12, 2016 22:27

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Sunswipe posted:

Anyone who has a hand in killing Talaxians is a hero. Unless Neelix is the absolute worst member of his race. That would explain why he's bumming around space on his own in a lovely ship, trying to save a three year-old he's been grooming.

I may have judged Talaxians too harshly.

Neelix is basically the sci fi version of the weird dude with open sores who rides the city bus.

# ? Jul 12, 2016 22:28

naem: May 29, 2011

E Equals MC Hammer posted:

speaking of stargate sg-1, for that special episode where they parody a bunch of other sci-fi shows at once, what is the one that is really confusing a parody of?

I think it was the one where they alien planet looks a lot like a Canadian pine forest aka EVERY EPISODE

# ? Jul 12, 2016 22:28