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Cowman posted:literally every open relationship thing I've read has ended with one partner (usually the one who didn't want to do it to begin with) going on a ton of dates and getting a bunch of sex with hot people while the one who wanted it isn't getting poo poo and feels jealous and angry. This is consistent with the four or five examples I've read about, all of them from reddit, so I'm comfortable extrapolating it to all open relationships everywhere.
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Jul 12, 2016 21:00
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loquacius posted:It turns out that if you are insecure enough to not feel satisfied with a perfectly healthy monogamous relationship, you are probably not very good at getting laid Those are the funny ones where someone gets what they deserve. The sadder cases are when a selfish and more confident partner basically talks an insecure partner who fears losing them into letting them cheat under the guise of opening the relationship up. Especially sad if they use all the open relationship books and lingo to gaslight them into feeling guilty about feeling jealous and hurt rather than happy for their partner getting down with other people.
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Jul 12, 2016 21:08
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Wasn't there one where someone caught his girlfriend cheating on him with her ex and her response was "uhhh we're in an open relationship now! surprise!" and he was so meek he was just like "uh ok" and it basically turned into the girlfriend and her ex loving constantly and not working while the poster paid rent for them and bought all the food
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Jul 12, 2016 21:12
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Yeah, I remember that one. My personal favorite is the one where the girlfriend was going to Europe for a little while and decided to open up the relationship so she could gently caress hot Italian guys without breaking up with her boyfriend that she lives with who was very sad about the whole situation. She didn't get laid a single time, and her neighbor back home was sending emails that her boyfriend was loving a different girl every night. So she emailed her boyfriend pretending to not know about all the girls and said she wanted to close the relationship back up, and days later at the time of her posting the thread he hadn't responded.
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Jul 12, 2016 21:16
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loquacius posted:Wasn't there one where someone caught his girlfriend cheating on him with her ex and her response was "uhhh we're in an open relationship now! surprise!" and he was so meek he was just like "uh ok" and it basically turned into the girlfriend and her ex loving constantly and not working while the poster paid rent for them and bought all the food Its like when you hit a deer with your car, so you pull over and get the shotgun out of your trunk. You stand over the deer and take aim as it struggles to breathe, but at the last second you lower the shotgun and ask "Hey I think we should open up our relationship".
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Jul 12, 2016 21:18
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Nazzadan posted:Yeah, I remember that one. "hi im mario mario and this is my brother luigi mario"
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Jul 12, 2016 21:20
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Moon Atari posted:Those are the funny ones where someone gets what they deserve. The sadder cases are when a selfish and more confident partner basically talks an insecure partner who fears losing them into letting them cheat under the guise of opening the relationship up. Especially sad if they use all the open relationship books and lingo to gaslight them into feeling guilty about feeling jealous and hurt rather than happy for their partner getting down with other people.
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Jul 12, 2016 21:21
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threesomes = good open relationships = bad
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Jul 12, 2016 21:23
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It's a masterful plan for the crafty emotional-abuser, really, because if your SO is kind of weak-willed and considers themselves "woke" you can cheat on them constantly and if they get mad about it they're the rear end in a top hat Even if the openness only actually extends to you loving your ex and not loving your SO anymore
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Jul 12, 2016 21:27
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if you as a man initiate an open relationship without at least 3-4 other women in mind that you for sure know will hook up with you and instead you just do it out of some desperation move then lol
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Jul 12, 2016 21:33
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i got 99 problems but a bitch ain't 1
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Jul 12, 2016 21:34
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you either start out being polyamorous (which is honest) or you gently caress up your monogamous relationship by opening it up bc you want to gently caress other people (which is dishonest)
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Jul 12, 2016 21:35
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Moridin920 posted:if you as a man initiate an open relationship without at least 3-4 other women in mind that you for sure know will hook up with you and instead you just do it out of some desperation move then lol i dont even know that many women. then again im not in a relationship.
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Jul 12, 2016 21:36
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Jeffnote: this one is long and not very funny but the person is quite delusional in a way that left me scratching my head, so I thought I'd share I've been with my fiance [24/M] for 3 years, and our wedding is set in a few months. It's going to be a big, beautiful wedding at the most gorgeous church in town. My parents are mostly paying for it, which they've also done for my 2 other sisters. My fiance's family on the other hand have made no contributions to the wedding, or to the house we moved into 7 months ago. It was my parents that gave us money for the down payment; his didn't even bother to congratulate him. My fiance comes from a poor and dysfunctional background, but I swear you'd never know it if you met him. I certainly didn't suspect an unconventional upbringing when we were set up by mutual friends, and it took him a year of dating to open up even a little about his childhood. He is intelligent, friendly, and good-looking—he will be the perfect husband aside from his past. He even has an above-average income for his age, mostly due to lucky circumstances and the type of career he is in. With both of our incomes combined we already live quite comfortably. I've never been close to my fiance's family. His mom [late 40s/F] has always been sweet to me, but she's a major alcoholic and a bit of a drama queen so we try to avoid her as much as possible. Her husband [60s/M] has been nothing but an rear end in a top hat to me. I don't know much else about him because I've only met him a handful of times. However, it sounds like he was abusive to my fiance and my fiance's only brother [26/M] when they were kids. I just know him as this angry, drunk man that I'd rather pretend doesn't exist. Which brings us to the present: A couple months ago my fiance's brother was released from jail. He was in prison for about 1.5 years for a bunch of different charges that were stacking up on him over time (a few drug possession charges, and later, a much more serious one: assault). My fiance has never explained too much about what happened, but from what I understand, my FBIL got in a drunk violent fight with their step-father. The injuries were bad enough that their step-father was able to successfully charge my FBIL, and they went through a year or so of fighting in court. Eventually he was put in prison. No one except for my fiance visited my FBIL while he was locked up, not even my FMIL. She took her husband's side throughout this whole thing. I mean, obviously. You can't just assault your parents. Personally, I've never really met my FBIL a lot before this. He was distant and agitated around any of the few family gatherings we attended. All I knew was that he had some problems himself before he went to prison, so I've avoided him like the plague. My fiance, however, loves his brother. He has occasionally told me some happy stories from his childhood, and they always involved his brother and his biological dad (who sadly committed suicide when they were 9 and 12). I never pressed for more details about their past because it's all very depressing and makes me uncomfortable. These types of emotions should be dealt with his therapist. As his fiancee, there's nothing I can do to change his past. Anyway, my fiance was adamant to let his brother live with us for a while after he was released from prison. We argued about this a lot, with my fiance even saying he would temporarily move out to support his brother until he got his life back together again. I was 100% against that idea, so I reluctantly agreed to let his brother live with us for a maximum of 6 months. Unfortunately, I didn't think my FBIL would be living with us while planning our wedding, but he was released early on good behavior. So now I am living with an ex-convict while I am preparing for the biggest day of my life. Yep, this is what my life has become. Up until recently, he's been okay to live with. He's gotten a lot of counseling since being in prison (anger management) and doesn't seem to do drugs or drink anymore. He keeps the house clean, does the yard work for us, picks up some of our groceries, and generally keeps to himself, but I still want him out asap. My fiance is aware of that, and has spoken to his brother about it. My FBIL has managed to find a job, and he's currently saving up money to move out on his own. I was mostly okay with this, until just this weekend, when my FBIL made a huge scene in front of my parents. My fiance and me were hosting a dinner for my parents. My FBIL was supposed to be working late that day, so I figured we wouldn't have to see him. All was well until my fiance's mother suddenly showed up at our front door, drunk and crying. She explained to us that her husband was severely sick with cancer (which we already knew) and was going to be hospitalized soon (again, we already knew this). She was so distraught that her husband was going to miss our wedding, but we never even invited my fiance's step-father to our wedding in the first place. We gave my FMIL an invitation without a plus one. In her drunken state, though, we decided not to say anything. It's not like he'd be able to attend anyway. My parents were in the dining room and my FMIL was hysteric at the front door; I knew they could hear her crying about how she would have to sit alone at the wedding. We dropped a few hints about needing to get back to my parents, but she didn't seem to pick up on them. To hopefully calm her down, I offered that she sit with my FBIL at the ceremony and reception, since he is out of prison now. My fiance gave me a seriously dark look for suggesting that, but didn't say anything. This did seem to make my FMIL stop crying for a moment and I thought that everything was going to finally calm down, but of course my FBIL returned home from work early. It was storming outside, so I guess the work they had planned for the day was going to be held off until the next. As soon as he came in and seen his mom standing there, I could tell by the look on his face that this wasn't going to be good. They haven't seen each other since before he was sent to prison. When she recognized him, she immediately tried hugging him and was calling him "her boy" and "give your mom a hug". My FBIL looked like he wanted to explode, and my fiance and me were very uncomfortable. But then all hell broke loose when she said something like: "I'm going to sit next to my son at the wedding. The son I haven't seen in 3 years. My baby boy." (I guess she forgot how many years he was actually in jail.) My FBIL was pretty silent throughout this whole exchange, just looking at my fiance as if to ask "what the is going on here?". But his calm facade finally cracked at what his mother said. He exploded about how it's been "1.5 years since he was in prison, not 3" and that she might have known that if she actually ever came to visit him. He also said: "God forbid you have to sit alone at a wedding for a couple hours while I had to sit in prison alone for over a year". I was terrified that things were going to get violent, but his mom started screaming/crying about "what he did", and my FBIL just walked out the door and didn't return until later. My fiance bluntly told his mother to leave after that and she finally left after some more sobbing. It was heartbreaking. We returned back to our parents, but the whole night was ruined. I felt humiliated for having my parents witness that, and my fiance was in a sour mood the rest of the night. After my parents left we had a huge fight about his brother. He has basically shut down on me since. At this point I just don't know what to do. His ungrateful, disrespectful brother has ruined my whole wedding. I just want the criminal out of my house. I would never dream of treating my parents the way he treated his. I have absolutely no respect for the man. I don't even want him to attend the wedding, but my fiance loves his brother so much that this would destroy him, especially now that they've grown so close after my FBIL's release. tl;dr: My fiance loves his ex-convict brother and has allowed him to stay with us for a maximum of 6 months, but his brother treats his mother like dirt and made a scene which humiliated me in front of my parents. I want him out of the house, if not out of our life for good! What can I do to make my fiance realize that his brother is toxic? [Edit: typos] Jeffrey of YOSPOS fucked around with this message at 23:18 on Jul 12, 2016 |
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Jul 12, 2016 23:11
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psychokitty posted:you either start out being polyamorous (which is honest) or you gently caress up your monogamous relationship by opening it up bc you want to gently caress other people (which is dishonest) both lead to hilarious stories and schadenfreude galore, however
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Jul 12, 2016 23:14
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Ha ha ha, yeah, the brother treated the mom like dirt by being angry that she never visited him in prison. And, she can't ask her husband about painful memories because he should deal with that through a therapist? She's gonna make a great wife.
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Jul 12, 2016 23:17
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I have gone no contact with my abusive-for-life birth family, as of last year, and twice now my mother has contacted the police to try to get information from me and/or to get me to contact them. Once in April and once today, three months apart I think? I am not even close to being a minor, by any means. Now, to be kind to the police, who are being used wrongly by my mother, I have to call them and tell them how they are being used. And how my mother already knows I'm fine. The mutual people that we have contact with as we live in the same city. And the fact that she knows why I am no contact, knows exactly as she became very aware of my social fail in 2013 (how could she not). And we've had conversations about Grandfather's abusiveness, sibling's abusiveness, and my D.I.D. I have not come out right to accuse her of the abuse I remember her doing for my own mental health. I've just got my complete memories back for the first time in my life this year, so of course I'm very concerned about her manipulative communication causing me to backslide. I suffer with Dissociative Amnesia as a primary symptom of D.I.D. and am just trying to protect my mental health from a woman who hasn't ever even been to a support group or support website. So, now I have to give it a couple days to cool down, before I call the police to educate them as fully as I can. To top it off, my birth mother potentially has either psychopathy or sociopathy, per my life long memories of her abuse on myself and others (even prior to her getting married) and what she more honestly bragged to me about for years after she orchestrated a fairly massive lie when I was young. I've been working on retrieving my memories for my mental health - with professionals, with support websites, with support groups - since roughly 1995. So, with all of my memories for life I have gotten back so far, all of them suggest she's not just mentally ill with Narcissist Personality Disorder. So this seems to quite the mine field I have to navigate for my safety. I know from prior orchestrations by her and my abusive sibling, that they would be just fine with me contacting the police every three months instead of them contacting the police every three months to contact me. Having Dissociative Amnesia my entire life, I have no solid ground at all legally to ever get an order of protection from her. So, the only thing I can think of is to contact the police this time (now that I know she is going to send them out to contact me every three months) to educate them on the situation. And the reason why, after all this time (and times of going very low contact with the birth family) she has decided to try to reach out to me? Is because I am now homeless. It is by my choice, not by circumstance, as I was abused sexually by my sibling in my last home (she broke into my home at night, but used the extra key I had mistakenly given to birth mother out of Amnesia) and severely psychologically abused by both birth mother and sibling. But I have Dissociative Amnesia as primary symptom of D.I.D., am obviously poor, and have numerous health problems. I am just working quietly on getting my memories back for life, having tried everything else my entire life. Immersing myself in my birth city as a last ditch effort to get my memories back, and stop abuse everywhere I have lived. And I have no proof, of course, because this is the first time the memories have actually stuck. The big difference? I finally broke the cycle of physical, sexual, and psychological abuse. I finally remembered, for the first time in my life this year, that they'd broken into my home, each and every home. And remembered that my sibling also sexually abused me as an adult in my birth parents home. So, now I get to call the police that work mainly for taxpayers (I would not have said this prior to going homeless, but it's been unfortunately quite the social education) and try to inform them of the situation. In a city where my family is well known b/c of my father's and sbiling's connections. Yeah, I'm basically hosed. But I guess I can only try to do the sane thing, without shooting myself in the foot and pushing their buttons to attack me sooner with gaslighting and more than I am ready for. Yep, they hold all the cards. And if you knew me, you'd know how and why. So, I guess just venting. And to assure all, I'm very sane. That's what happens when you work on your Dissociative Identity Disorder with many people for decades, on a daily basis. It's been my main hobby. And I'm very safe. I've got an education in Health and Human Services so extremely aware of all the resources in my city. I am armed, and not illegally or dangerously. And I am educated on street safety, and have friends. And that's all I'm going to say as I need my privacy to get my memories back in a very public way. It's unfortunately, not a therapists office. Tried many. I wouldn't be at all working on my mental health this hot, humid, horrible-for-my-Fibromyalgia way if I didn't need to. It's infinitely physically harder than a restorative bed, air conditioned office, with actual protein as needed for my Fibro and CFS. But I just had to stop the abuse, and with Amnesia about the abuse at home while an adult, it was the only thing I could do. I've used sense memory for decades to help me, where all other efforts failed. I do have severe fatigue. I suppose the intense exercise (Fibro energy cells) combined with sense memory is finally what has helped. I'm extremely sorry for rambling on. Again my CFS and Fibo.
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Jul 12, 2016 23:44
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:His ungrateful, disrespectful brother has ruined my whole wedding. lol nice
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Jul 12, 2016 23:59
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My goodness
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Jul 13, 2016 00:00
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loving horrible trailer twat wannabe suburban housewife I want to strangle that whore with all my might
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Jul 13, 2016 00:08
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I could NEVER imagine treating my yuppie parents the way that CRIMINAL treated his drunken abusive family, he totally ruined my big special wedding day! jesus gently caress i hope the fiance smartens the gently caress up and gets away from that crazy bitch
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Jul 13, 2016 00:30
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psychokitty posted:loving horrible trailer twat wannabe suburban housewife I want to strangle that whore with all my might Yeah keep going
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Jul 13, 2016 00:44
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I know it sounds petty and ridiculous, and it probably is, but this is making me so insecure and making me not want to let him see me naked at all. I love him, he's wonderful in every way, and I don't blame him for his preference (I am bisexual and share the same exact preference.) Thing is though, I am very mentally ill.
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Jul 13, 2016 01:01
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Holy crap, that woman is not a good person.
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Jul 13, 2016 01:09
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The dude marrying that woman is about to make a huge mistake
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Jul 13, 2016 01:12
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If there is any justice that dude will see his fiancee's poo poo and get out.
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Jul 13, 2016 01:21
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my MILBT has DDRFT, and therefore, because of their LBTQBBQ, I can possibly understand the RFT of this TTYLG. TL;DR I am BBFGY mentally ill.
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Jul 13, 2016 01:35
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What the gently caress is a social fail?
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Jul 13, 2016 01:39
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Nazzadan posted:Yeah, I remember that one. super fake lol if you cant get laid in Italy. They gently caress everything that moves EVERYTHING
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Jul 13, 2016 01:47
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Tricky D posted:What the gently caress is a social fail? franco
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Jul 13, 2016 01:50
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Alan Smithee posted:super fake Even Italians have standards. Have you ever met internet people in person?
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Jul 13, 2016 01:56
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jackyl posted:franco That looks like it fits, but now I need a six letter word for child molester that begins with an A.
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Jul 13, 2016 02:00
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Moridin920 posted:if you as a man initiate an open relationship without at least 3-4 other women in mind that you for sure know will hook up with you and instead you just do it out of some desperation move then lol What are the odds that every fetlife girl flirting with that guy was really a bot? That's what I want to believe
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Jul 13, 2016 02:08
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Drunk Nerds posted:What are the odds that every fetlife girl flirting with that guy was really a bot? That's what I want to believe Except that guys girlfriend
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Jul 13, 2016 02:28
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:tl;dr: Asked my girlfriend for an open relationship so we could both date and sleep with other people. My girlfriend has been on way too many dates and I'm sure she's hooked up with a good few too. I havn't. Feel the open relationship has gotten way too unfair towards me and I want to close it, but because it was my idea I don't know how to bring it up to her. Need advice on how to do this and close the relationship again. is this just the opposite /r/relationships post as the popular "i coerced my bf into an open relationship so i could fool around during my europe vacation, he agreed, i ended up not getting laid and having a bad time, he ended up bagging his hot coworker whom i hate, how do i get myself out of this mess?" post? because they are both way too long but way too funny. edit: never mind, i guess it is all open relationships lmfbo im cute fucked around with this message at 04:49 on Jul 13, 2016 |
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Jul 13, 2016 04:43
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Tricky D posted:What the gently caress is a social fail? jackyl posted:franco
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Jul 13, 2016 06:54
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I know this is going to be a bit of a boring opinion, so bring on the downvotes: I'm 99% certain that sub is 90% populated by neckbeards/niceguys and the kind of girls that are always jealous of their friends for having ~a man~. Most every post is "Someone is being a jerk. Here's my totally unbiased side of the story." Most every reply is "You deserve better. Kill the jerk, dissociate their body, and scatter their atoms into a strong solar wind exiting the solar system." I don't browse reddit though, so take this with a grain of salt.
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Jul 13, 2016 07:14
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The interesting part is all of the things that can be extrapolated out of the way they explain the situation. Usually it manages to be obvious what's going on even when they think they've explained it in a way favorable to them.
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Jul 13, 2016 10:36
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Chomp8645 posted:You guys are way overthinking this am I not sure why everyone refuses to take it at face value. It's probably both. The parents aren't letting them go to the city but the friend is making a joke because it sounds like something else.
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Jul 13, 2016 14:47
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I'm going to imagine the 25 year old who can't go downtown is a recovering drug addict. He moved back in with his parents to rehab and they won't let him go downtown cause they don't trust him to stay clean if he goes back to the old neighborhood where his dealer and fellow addicts live. That's why he still hangs out with his ex even though they're not together, she's in the same boat and it's like a mini support group.
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Jul 13, 2016 15:09
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