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Brannock
Feb 9, 2006

by exmarx
Fallen Rib
Fencing is super athletic

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Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

Brannock posted:

Fencing is super athletic

so is gay porn

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Chinatown posted:

so is gay porn

The two extracurriculars are essentially the same thing.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all
Have you seen an Errol Flynn sword fight? That was Hollywood's way of sneaking hardcore gay sex past the censorship board back in the day.

https://youtu.be/4MqmpL6X_8w

Microwaves Mom
Nov 8, 2015

by zen death robot

Y-Hat posted:

someone tell me how you need to dope to compete better in curling, shooting, and fencing



Jesus Christ.

Like I said every sport becomes better with drugs!

Lime Tonics
Nov 7, 2015

by FactsAreUseless
Less than a mile from Maracana Stadium, where the opening ceremony of the Summer Olympics will be staged Aug. 5, lies the most hopeless place imaginable.

Cars pass by a squalid sidewalk where Rio’s undesirables go to feed their cocaine habit. Prostitutes, some of them pregnant, sell their bodies for a couple of rocks of crack or a few reals, the equivalent of less than $5. Dozens of people ingest the drug in open view. No one pays much atten­tion.

These are the Cracklands, or Cracolandia, where drugs are the only currency that matters and lives are as expendable as the fleeting high from each hit of makeshift crack pipes.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/olympics/rio-2016/2016/07/18/maracana-stadium-cracklands-cocaine-rio-de-janeiro/87250196/

communism bitch
Apr 24, 2009

Lime Tonics posted:

Less than a mile from Maracana Stadium, where the opening ceremony of the Summer Olympics will be staged Aug. 5, lies the most hopeless place imaginable.

Cars pass by a squalid sidewalk where Rio’s undesirables go to feed their cocaine habit. Prostitutes, some of them pregnant, sell their bodies for a couple of rocks of crack or a few reals, the equivalent of less than $5. Dozens of people ingest the drug in open view. No one pays much atten­tion.

These are the Cracklands, or Cracolandia, where drugs are the only currency that matters and lives are as expendable as the fleeting high from each hit of makeshift crack pipes.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/olympics/rio-2016/2016/07/18/maracana-stadium-cracklands-cocaine-rio-de-janeiro/87250196/

Lmao at a US newspaper navel gazing about social decay, poverty, and the drug and sex trade in any other country.

Mr. Merdle
Oct 17, 2007

THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

Lime Tonics posted:

Less than a mile from Maracana Stadium, where the opening ceremony of the Summer Olympics will be staged Aug. 5, lies the most hopeless place imaginable.

Cars pass by a squalid sidewalk where Rio’s undesirables go to feed their cocaine habit. Prostitutes, some of them pregnant, sell their bodies for a couple of rocks of crack or a few reals, the equivalent of less than $5. Dozens of people ingest the drug in open view. No one pays much atten­tion.

These are the Cracklands, or Cracolandia, where drugs are the only currency that matters and lives are as expendable as the fleeting high from each hit of makeshift crack pipes.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/olympics/rio-2016/2016/07/18/maracana-stadium-cracklands-cocaine-rio-de-janeiro/87250196/

"By the food stand, Iagani, 20, describes her life as a beggar. Her begging takings increased, she says, as her pregnancy began to show. The father is a few streets away, sleeping under a bridge after a day-long drug binge.

Iagani heads off to find shelter — and a quiet place to use her remaining stash.

“I believe my baby will be OK,” she says. “God will protect my baby.”"

:magical:

Glass the earth y/n?

Part of this reminds me of Hitchhikers. Gotta get the undesirables out so we can make room for our hyperspace bypass. It's seriously mind boggling to me that poo poo like this goes down and then a mile away you have rich people with healthy crack habits making billions and loving bumbums.

e: after watching the video it's pretty clear to me that there is real absolute evil in the world

Mr. Merdle fucked around with this message at 09:59 on Jul 19, 2016

Eastbound Spider
Jan 2, 2011



Lime Tonics posted:

Less than a mile from Maracana Stadium, where the opening ceremony of the Summer Olympics will be staged Aug. 5, lies the most hopeless place imaginable.

Cars pass by a squalid sidewalk where Rio’s undesirables go to feed their cocaine habit. Prostitutes, some of them pregnant, sell their bodies for a couple of rocks of crack or a few reals, the equivalent of less than $5. Dozens of people ingest the drug in open view. No one pays much atten­tion.

These are the Cracklands, or Cracolandia, where drugs are the only currency that matters and lives are as expendable as the fleeting high from each hit of makeshift crack pipes.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/olympics/rio-2016/2016/07/18/maracana-stadium-cracklands-cocaine-rio-de-janeiro/87250196/

Oh cool, real world Hamsterdam.

Microwaves Mom
Nov 8, 2015

by zen death robot

Lil Peeler posted:

"By the food stand, Iagani, 20, describes her life as a beggar. Her begging takings increased, she says, as her pregnancy began to show. The father is a few streets away, sleeping under a bridge after a day-long drug binge.

Iagani heads off to find shelter — and a quiet place to use her remaining stash.

“I believe my baby will be OK,” she says. “God will protect my baby.”"

:magical:

Glass the earth y/n?

Part of this reminds me of Hitchhikers. Gotta get the undesirables out so we can make room for our hyperspace bypass. It's seriously mind boggling to me that poo poo like this goes down and then a mile away you have rich people with healthy crack habits making billions and loving bumbums.

e: after watching the video it's pretty clear to me that there is real absolute evil in the world

amazing.

How long till the death squads clear them out before the olympics?

I'd imagine a week or two. If they have the money

Tree Bucket
Apr 1, 2016

R.I.P.idura leucophrys

Pvt.Scott posted:

Have you seen an Errol Flynn sword fight? That was Hollywood's way of sneaking hardcore gay sex past the censorship board back in the day.

https://youtu.be/4MqmpL6X_8w

That was a great fight! Lots of grappling for the dagger at the end. Uh.

Zo
Feb 22, 2005

LIKE A FOX
Oh poo poo zika is now transferable through new, unknown means!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-36833321

quote:

Experts are trying to work out exactly how a US carer has caught Zika after tending to a dying elderly man with the virus.

Until now it was thought that only mosquitoes and sex spread Zika, as well as the risk of mother-to-child transmission in the womb.

The carer, from Utah, did not have any of these known risk factors.

Blunderstorm
Mar 1, 2016

my grandfather just posts and all i got was this lousy joke, so what

Zo posted:

Oh poo poo zika is now transferable through new, unknown means!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-36833321

Pretty obvious the caretaker gave a last wish bee jay to the dying dude.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Turd Burglar posted:

Pretty obvious the caretaker gave a last wish bee jay to the dying dude.

"The zika was on the shampoo bottle and then I slipped and fell on the bottle."

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Zo posted:

Oh poo poo zika is now transferable through new, unknown means!
Mosquitoes & sex, or both.

Eastbound Spider
Jan 2, 2011



The elderly man was a mosquito in disguise.

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



Eastbound Spider posted:

The elderly man was a mosquito in disguise.

I've been convinced that mosquitos are getting more clever for awhile, here's the first solid proof. :tinfoil:

GORDON
Jan 1, 2006

by Fluffdaddy

hemophilia posted:

I'm with you, but I think the "unwritten rules are good, sabermetrics is for nerds who have never played baseball" crowd really sucks too. I played through freshman baseball, which is a fair bit more baseball than most people who whine about sabermetrics and unwritten rules, and i've embarassed the hell out of people who never played a game after they were 10 years old feeling like they have an opinion on when a person "deserves" to be hit with a high-speed retaliatory pitch. I took a 95mph ball to me thigh in a retaliation throw, it was in a good spot so it didn't hurt much and it didn't cause me many problems during the game, but that poo poo often lands in worse places, and fucks people up really badly, for arbitrary reasons like "not taking your base quickly enough"

I played baseball for years in little league and high school, and followed it on and off over the last few decades, and I've never heard of this deliberately beaning people for lollygagging. I know sometimes pitchers give batters some "chin music" if they are crowding the plate or the pitcher just has a bad attitude, but I've never heard of it happening just because a player got walked and isn't hustling. When and where does it happen? Are there youtube clips? Seriously asking.

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

GORDON posted:

I played baseball for years in little league and high school, and followed it on and off over the last few decades, and I've never heard of this deliberately beaning people for lollygagging. I know sometimes pitchers give batters some "chin music" if they are crowding the plate or the pitcher just has a bad attitude, but I've never heard of it happening just because a player got walked and isn't hustling. When and where does it happen? Are there youtube clips? Seriously asking.

The answer is you must have been on really bad or noncompetitive teams

GORDON
Jan 1, 2006

by Fluffdaddy

satanic splash-back posted:

The answer is you must have been on really bad or noncompetitive teams

Ok thx, now I know.

I am hella PEEVED
Oct 25, 2007

Welcome to Earth.

GORDON posted:

I played baseball for years in little league and high school, and followed it on and off over the last few decades, and I've never heard of this deliberately beaning people for lollygagging. I know sometimes pitchers give batters some "chin music" if they are crowding the plate or the pitcher just has a bad attitude, but I've never heard of it happening just because a player got walked and isn't hustling. When and where does it happen? Are there youtube clips? Seriously asking.

Not beaning, but Papelbon is a pitcher so:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1HjwToIdSU

Also Im pretty sure the Jose Batutisa fight was started cause he got hit for a bat flip in a game the previous season.

Baseball is full of dumb unwritten codes and rules.

Warm und Fuzzy
Jun 20, 2006

Turd Burglar posted:

Pretty obvious the caretaker gave a last wish bee jay to the dying dude.

That interrogation has to be awkward for everyone. How would the CDC investigators write that up in the report?

Lime Tonics
Nov 7, 2015

by FactsAreUseless
Chances of ISIS attack up 10%.

'We are Expecting a Larger Audience': ISIS Supporters in Brazil Talk Attacks as Olympics Near

Portuguese and Brazilian media revealed last month that Ismail Abdul Jabbar al-Brazili, also simply known as "The Brazilian," was attempting to recruit his countrymen for the Islamic State. He was said to be employing several different social media accounts to reel in would-be jihadists, and has said he was recruited by late American jihadist Abu Khalid al-Amriki.

In an online forum uncovered by anti-ISIS hackers Binary Sec, a July 11 post to fellow "brothers" notes that someone was "wanting to find al-Brazili within 3 weeks... wants to find the recruiter" -- a timetable that coincides with the Olympics' opening week. The poster mused whether this person was a spy and posted his Telegram information.

Binary Sec hackers also flagged a June 18 post with a photo of an AK-47 resting against a carpeted backdrop. "We are expecting a larger audience, will be soon, the blood of sinners will fall and we will show the real power of God," read the accompanying text.

And the poster, going by the name "Wolf," also showed an unidentifiable objecting burning on a concrete surface, talking about "improvisation" with explosive material. "There are many dealers selling fireworks, if you have knowledge, prepare some explosions for the big day."

Binary Sec identified the user as originally being from the U.S. and now acting as a weapons man for ISIS in Brazil.

"In just two months got a gun here, you do not need much," he writes. "...Some of these suppliers are on our side, we have plenty of resources for our actions."

https://pjmedia.com/homeland-security/2016/07/18/we-are-expecting-a-larger-audience-isis-supporters-in-brazil-talk-attacks-as-olympics-near/

nerdz
Oct 12, 2004


Complex, statistically improbable things are by their nature more difficult to explain than simple, statistically probable things.
Grimey Drawer
Don't worry, the security forces are training hard for this:

https://www.facebook.com/174363922957784/videos/230408757353300/

Viruswithshoes
Mar 26, 2007

Brazil judge blocks WhatsApp again as row escalates:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-36836674

Hmm yes block a free app that everybody uses because they're too poor to use paying contracts on networks, just before the rich tourists arrive... Doop de doop nothing wrong there

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Raar_Im_A_Dinosaur posted:

So I talked to her and she says she's well aware of the risks but is taking precautions like hiring armed guards and getting lawyers and police contacts as well as a bunch of vaccines. So I mean, not as dumb as I thought. Though sometimes I wonder if armed guards just make you a more likely target.

So yeah she's going on someone else's dollar.

hahahahahaha

"HEY LOOK AT ME I AM A RICH GRINGO OVER HERE LOOK AT ME"

lmao police contacts they are begging for toilet paper

Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
To be fair, Rio's been p lovely but a huge tourist attraction for over 30 years. Not everyone that goes there gets hurt

You can go to Rio and have a good time

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
to be fair the army has been going in and forcibly evicting people from homes they've lived in for decades because 'too close to this event that will last for 2 weeks' and their government is teetering on the edge of total collapse and the police are in the airport holding signs that say 'welcome to hell' and all that wasn't happening 10 years ago

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Madcosby posted:

To be fair, Rio's been p lovely but a huge tourist attraction for over 30 years. Not everyone that goes there gets hurt

You can go to Rio and have a good time

The country is dropping billions to host tourists when they can't even afford cops. If this were a movie we would all be rolling our eyes at how xenophobic and patronizing Eli Roth is.

Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
I'm just saying that obviously 100% of tourists this summer in Rio are not going to get mugged, killed, or even bumbummed

If you have a friend or someone going to RIo, I wouldnt talk them out of it, I'd just drop a "be safe"

If I had to put a percentage on it, I'd say by the end of the olympics 1% of the tourists will have experienced a bad time(be a victim of something). That's a large percentage, but nowhere near the hellscape I would convince someone to walk away from

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
Okay and I'm just saying by that person's own admission they are hiring armed guards to protect them while they are there, which imo is not something you should have to do while trying to be on a cool vacation.

quote:

If I had to put a percentage on it, I'd say by the end of the olympics 1% of the tourists will have experienced a bad time(be a victim of something). That's a large percentage, but nowhere near the hellscape I would convince someone to walk away from

are you a betting man?

Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Moridin920 posted:

Okay and I'm just saying by that person's own admission they are hiring armed guards to protect them while they are there, which imo is not something you should have to do while trying to be on a cool vacation.


are you a betting man?

I agree; armed guards is a bit much and not a good way to keep a low, tourist profile

but yes, I am a betting man

1 in every 100 tourists will be angry, upset, or dead by closing ceremonies. I see you dont have plat. Are you thinking what Im thinking

dont go to Rio and fudge these numbers you monster

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
It can just be a friendly bet like they do in the Everest death pool if you like. You might be totally right idk.


Madcosby posted:

dont go to Rio and fudge these numbers you monster

:smugdon:


now I'ma just post some selected comments I just found while trying to find Rio's crime rate numbers:

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

quote:

#Natalia Torres on Jul 02, 2016 :
You who live in safe cities, do not come do Rio. It is really a nightmare, a war.

quote:

#Madi on Jun 28, 2016 :
I lived in Rio from 2009-2010. I was a single 21 year old blonde haired green eyed girl and I didn't have many problems- I was mugged once in Lapa on an empty street at dusk. Lapa is so sketchy though. If stay in the tourist areas, stay on busy streets, and avoid skinny children like your life depends on it (it's not the big, muscly well-fed looking people you need to watch out for but the skinny, drugged up children) then you'll probably be fine. Always be watching your surroundings, and be a savvy traveler.

quote:

#cLewy on Jun 28, 2016 :
I was recently in Rio for 2 weeks. Didn't see any crime till I and my Brazilian friend were attacked in north zone when returning to car by thugs.

Generally, South zone is fairly safe while daytime but surely not at night. If you decide to go to Rio, you have to be ready to lose all your belongings, therefore travel as light as possible. If you don't care so much about photos, take a cheap phone, your credit card and carry a bit money 10-50 Reais max. Don't depend on police - they're mostly unable to help and you need to speak portuguese with them.

Even though I had a nice time till the incident, I'll never return to this city and I advice you not to! There are safer places in South America and I enjoy my time more if I don't have to be paranoid all the time like walking in a war zone. Here richer people (mid-class+) live behind high walls, have their cars' windows tinted etc which speaks for the safety itself.
Boa sorte!


quote:

#adriano on Jun 06, 2016 :
Rio is not a safe city. Things CAN happen randomly (stray bullet, random attack, bus/ metro robbery) but in places where the tourists go they don't happen every single day, every single moment - still you have more of a chance getting hurt in a random car crash than act of violence.

Remembering that most likely nothing random will happen, you still do need to be vigilant 100% of the time, not paranoid.

Keep an eye out for people (especially children!!!) that look like they are out to cause trouble, because 50/50 they are. Don't be an idiot an walk around with a camera, even in crowded places during the day like Copacabana or Ipanema... I have seen MANY get snatched in grab and run style operations. Likewise for phones. Keep some robbery money every time you go out (as if you have nothing it is not unheard of the robbers will be angry and act violently) and perhaps think of using a cheap/ old cell phone (For your photos, upload them regularly to a cloud... a little less traumatic to loose a phone and not your vacation memories!) If you are a tourist take an Uber or a taxi, especially at night. Walk in groups and not alone. Don't walk around on the street yelling and talking loudly in English/ foreign languages or acting like a clueless foreigner who is oh so enchanted with how different and beautiful everything is or someone with bad intentions will probably notice you and target you. Finally, enjoy, it is possible to have an amazing time if you go with the right attitude and use common sense - just remember things can happen, but more chances than not that they will not happen. Every place has its threats and dangers, Brazil is certainly no exception but it is not a war zone.

quote:

patria o muerte on Jun 05, 2016 :
march 2016 i was in rio with my friend. i am. on copacabana i was attacked by two thugs, from behind they slammed me to the ground. one had knife and he did pretending to cut my face. took my iphone and few money. i am glad i am alive. many people around but no help. went to police but no english, epic fail no help from them. after rio i see it as city with no control. favela guys are tied to police and via versa. i have been around the world but i was shocked with what i saw. as i am from slovakia which is a very safe country-i consider this place as a nightmare.

I feel like when Eastern Euros are calling your country a nightmare poo poo is hosed lol

Raar_Im_A_Dinosaur
Mar 16, 2006

GOOD LUCK!!
I'm kinda terrible in a way I try to hide so I don't want her to get hurt but I would be a little smug if she got mugged and had to come back early but then had to wait two days at the airport because all security had collapsed after going on strike and her guards never show up at the airport because they go mugged too.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

quote:

#Lina on Jun 04, 2016 :
We have arrived in Rio just for a week and settled in Ipanema. The shot we have heard on the third night of our stay. It was good that we were on the 7th floor. When I looked through the window, I saw the cops, walking in the yard with automatic weapons and and looking for somebody. They walked around more than half an hour.
Two days later, we have seen how a mobile phone was snatched from a woman's hands in the middle of the day on Copacobana promenade.
The landscape in Rio is wonderful, but we will never return..

quote:

#David on May 17, 2016 :
After 10 years living in Rio de Janeiro i AM leaving.. The city is no longer the city of God but the city of the devil.. Shootings, stabbings, robbery, assaults mean every day is a stressful thing just going outside your front door.. For those defending Rio and saying it's the same as other large city's, that's a pathetic thing to say.. The Brazilians use that excuse and unless you lived in a war zone it's not true.. Brazil is at war with itself.. Don't go, there's far better places to go where your life is valued and the sun shines..

quote:

#Ed on Feb 19, 2016 :
My partner and I just returned from Rio last week. We were walking to the metro station in Lapa, near the cathedral in broad daylight, many people around. We were in shorts n vests with no jewellery, no watches, nothing valuable on show, just a black backpack. We were surrounded by a gang of 8 who robbed and beat us. Luckily we weren't seriously injured. It offends me when people make out that common sense will keep you safe, this happened after 4 months trouble free travelling around South America. This trip put my country tally to over 50. I am street smart, I always use common sense. In Rio this is not enough. The city IS dangerous. If you go there go with physical and mental preparation that you will be mugged. Having said that, Rio has many, many positives too.

Boomstick Quaid
Jan 28, 2009

Raar_Im_A_Dinosaur posted:

I'm kinda terrible in a way I try to hide so I don't want her to get hurt but I would be a little smug if she got mugged and had to come back early but then had to wait two days at the airport because all security had collapsed after going on strike and her guards never show up at the airport because they go mugged too.

Who cares about mugging when she's gonna some hellacious bugs

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

I looked up murder stats for Brazil and was pretty shocked actually.

Raar_Im_A_Dinosaur
Mar 16, 2006

GOOD LUCK!!
Gonna see if I can find videos of muggers getting the poo poo beat out of them because I can imagine few things more satisfying to watch

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Testikles
Feb 22, 2009
I went to Manaus during the world cup and despite it being listed as one of the world's murder capitols I survived. People were friendly for the most part. At that time there was a functioning police force and we never travelled into the Thunderdome called the East Zone. It felt like a precarious balance so I imagine it's insane in Rio.

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