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Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

dog buttz posted:

That too. I heard it's pretty hard to become a nun as well. You can't just show up and ask for a nun outfit.

He should check out season three of Arrested Development because I'm 90% he's dating a retard.

Or she got molested as a kid and OP's sexual relationship with her triggered some kind of regressive attachment to stuffed animals because they were her source of comfort. I don't know.

Also possible she's trying to cajole him into the whole gross dd/lg thing but doesn't want to come right out and say it directly for whatever reason.

# ? Jul 21, 2016 18:58

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# ? May 25, 2024 04:38

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

she can study up on some bible poo poo and they'll be nun the wiser

# ? Jul 21, 2016 18:58

Minimalist Program: Aug 14, 2010

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

she can study up on some bible poo poo and they'll be nun the wiser

Hahaa!

# ? Jul 21, 2016 18:59

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

dog buttz posted:

although lmao at him moving to a monastery at all. He's got a job lined up in another city and doesn't want a LDR.

His dilz is making a pilgrimage to another cloister

# ? Jul 21, 2016 18:59

many johnnys: May 17, 2015

Bonzo posted:

my girlfriend thinks her toys are real

You got a friend in me

# ? Jul 21, 2016 19:01

Khorne: May 1, 2002

Roylicious posted:

I think my favorite is when people describe some fairly eyebrow raising almost serial killer like traits and then go 'is this a red flag?'

Nah, his obsession with your natural hair color and hinting that things will not go easy for you if you don't comply is just flirting hon.

The natural hair color thing has such an easy solution. Grow a loving landing strip or some poo poo. "That's my natural hair color"

Of course, it's a ridiculous request to begin with. But she seems to not see it as absolutely insane for some reason. I guess threatening to grow a beard isn't very menacing, but the whole thing is still off putting.

# ? Jul 21, 2016 19:09

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Bonzo posted:

This is just pathetic

I feel like this was a surprisingly common e/n topic, some dude's gf has one or more guys she regularly talked to/hung out with just chomping at the bit to get in their pants. I dunno why anyone would consider this dynamic appropriate or put up with it, but I'm guessing the people in the story are early 20's.

# ? Jul 21, 2016 19:10

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

My [23m] gf [21f] of 9 months is going to spend the day with her ex. Is this ok?

quote:

My gf dated her high school sweetheart for 5 years. He ended up cheating on her (although I don't know if she truly believes that). They broke up and a couple of months later she and I got together.
He is in ROTC and is graduating and thus moving away to do his army obligations. She says this is the last time she will see him and that he was such a big part of her life and would "just like spend some time with him one last time." She made him a present and everything.
Under normal circumstances this would bother me, but it is even more bothersome because they seem to have been texting a lot lately (texts that she deletes). Furthermore, she has lied to me about a couple of things which may have broken my trust a little bit.
Additionally, she knows that I am uncomfortable with them texting and hanging out- I told her so last time they got lunch. I also feel like a chump because Ive cut friends out of my life because they flirted with me and my gf was clearly uncomfortable with us hanging out. So I can cut friends out of my life that Ive known longer than her, but she cant cut her ex out?!
Am I overreacting? What should I do? Put my foot down?
TLDR: Girlfriend wants to hang out with her ex. What should I do?

They are 100% going to gently caress, if they haven't already.

# ? Jul 21, 2016 19:13

Frosted Flake: Sep 13, 2011; Semper Shitpost Ubique

Any somewhat attractive girl will have guys waiting in the wings. Exes, close male friends, sad losers in her social circle.

# ? Jul 21, 2016 19:14

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

ArbitraryC posted:

I feel like this was a surprisingly common e/n topic, some dude's gf has one or more guys she regularly talked to/hung out with just chomping at the bit to get in their pants. I dunno why anyone would consider this dynamic appropriate or put up with it, but I'm guessing the people in the story are early 20's.

Champing at the bit

# ? Jul 21, 2016 19:14

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

WampaLord posted:

My [23m] gf [21f] of 9 months is going to spend the day with her ex. Is this ok?

They are 100% going to gently caress, if they haven't already.

She's not even going to particularly far lengths to hide it. They're gonna gently caress.

# ? Jul 21, 2016 19:17

many johnnys: May 17, 2015

WampaLord posted:

My [23m] gf [21f] of 9 months is going to spend the day with her ex. Is this ok?

dude needs to get back in touch with those old friends

# ? Jul 21, 2016 19:24

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Ok which of you guys C&Ped the Pete/Dave story into the comments

# ? Jul 21, 2016 19:28

Patrocclesiastes: Apr 30, 2009

I love this thread and everyones commentary.

How can these people be real?

# ? Jul 21, 2016 19:29

Frog Act: Feb 10, 2012

Girlfriend is finally seeing a new guy after 3 years. [M]y umm... balls are going crazy?

quote:

Backstory: 40 yo cis male, married to a woman for 13 years, dating my gf for about 3. My gf was married when we met, but they split soon after. I've always been positive about poly, and encouraged her to date if she wanted too but she hadn't until now. My wife has never dated.

So my gf and this new boy have seen each other a bunch while feelings got sorted, and they are now dating. They finally had sex for the first time, and my reaction was pretty much, "Did you use a condom? Cool." I had no strong feelings about it at all and I was glad she was getting extra attention since I don't get to see her as much as we'd like.

But this last weekend the two of them went away together, and I could not stop thinking about her, the two of them, dirty thoughts, did they have sex again, are they doing it now, etc. Waiting to hear from her was really hard, and I was constantly checking my phone.

My hormones were going crazy, it felt like testosterone or adrenaline or I don't know what was coursing through me. I wasn't just horny, there was some kind of weird lizard brain physiological response going on or something.
The other bit is: I have never been so acutely aware of my testes short of having them kicked. It felt like there was a direct line of blood pumping from my heart to my balls. I got a strange feeling inside them I don't have a word for.

I finally saw her again and, after a couple rounds of sex, I started to feel normal again. We went at it a 3rd time after dinner. This morning we were talking about it some more and suddenly I felt that weird feeling again except she was there touching and stimulating me and making it so much more intense.

Do any poly folks out there know what's going on here? I'm not jealous, angry, hurt, upset or lonely. There were only good feelings and, well, crazyballs. I just needed to have her, and my body was going wild with hormones.

The two of them are leaving town again this weekend and I'm a little apprehensive about it happening again. It was quite exhilarating, but it was also extremely distracting! Am I going to get used to these new things? Will this reaction fade over time?

My wife and girlfriend don't really get it, though I think my girlfriend is a little amused about the effect she's having. Is this in the realm of normal?

# ? Jul 21, 2016 19:30

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

Frog Act posted:

Is this in the realm of normal?

no. nothing you are doing is normal you weirdo.

# ? Jul 21, 2016 19:37

ditty bout my clitty: May 28, 2011; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

Frosted Flake posted:

Any somewhat attractive girl will have guys waiting in the wings. Exes, close male friends, sad losers in her social circle.

The ex will always try to gently caress your hot girlfriend. It's in their job descriptions.

# ? Jul 21, 2016 19:51

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

Bonzo posted:

Me [20 M] with my Girlfriend [19F] of 2 years, She wont part with her stuffed toy and acts very childish

So I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years now and its been great. It's not exactly the longest time ever but we were friends before this for a while and we are each others best friend. Every aspect of our relationship is great. Communication, Sex, Trust, Respect and loyalty are all amazing. We are very open and loving and it's pretty wonderful.
HOWEVER
She likes her stuffed toys a lot, a little too much? She hugs them, sleeps with them. Gives them personalities and talks to them. Names them and acts like they are our children. Now initially i found this a little strange but I came to enjoy each of them and their individual personalities. I don't just want to stop her but I find it very childish and off putting.

Example: We are making out, hands are wondering. I'm thinking we are about to fool around and have a little make out sesh. Then she pulls one of the toys to her chest and goes from sexy, mature girlfriend to very cutesy, childish girl. Then she acts like we can't do sexual things cause the kids are nearby and it's weird. This just kills me and really weirds me out. I don't want to be dating a child. I don't want to be dealing with a girl who acts like these toys are real.

Also its not like I came into the relationship with these toys being a part of her life. They came after. I bought her some because i thought it was a nice gift but instead just fuelled this fire. The start of a relationship was kind of sexually focused. We were just friends with benefits and decided to try out the relationship. Now i feel like I'm not dating the same person. I should also mention she doesn't do this around anyone else, just me.
It's really loving weird but I came to this realisation after we watched "How to lose a guy in 10 days". The girl starts off as super sexual, mature and hot girlfriend and goes super committed and crazy in like a week. NOW I'm not calling her crazy but i do find the behaviour very odd. I'm really scared I enabled and promoted this behaviour.

So we have talked about it and I've asked if in the future we could just sleep without the toys, or put them on a shelf and when we go on holidays we don't take the toys. She literally started crying and i just felt terrible and I cave. However I really want to put my foot down and find the girl I started dating. She said they make her feel safe and she just likes having them around.
Basically I'm asking you R/relationships, should i just accept this new personality or move on and find a girl like the one I wanted to date in the beginning.
TL:DR Over the course of a Year girlfriend started acting like her stuff toys were real. I fuelled this behaviour and now I'm extremely turned off her because she acts very childish and cute.

This is somebody's ultimate fetish right here. GF babytalking to stuff animals? That's it. Done.

# ? Jul 21, 2016 19:54

FormerPoster: Aug 5, 2004; Hair Elf

Bonzo posted:

Example: We are making out, hands are wondering. I'm thinking we are about to fool around and have a little make out sesh. Then she pulls one of the toys to her chest and goes from sexy, mature girlfriend to very cutesy, childish girl. Then she acts like we can't do sexual things cause the kids are nearby and it's weird.

He should gently caress her and make the dolls watch.

# ? Jul 21, 2016 20:02

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Naerasa posted:

He should gently caress her and make the dolls watch.

gently caress the dolls, make her watch.

# ? Jul 21, 2016 20:03

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

rakovsky maybe posted:

I'm (24F) at the end of the rope with being ignored and sexless by (21M) boyfriend

So when she was 19 she moved across the country to be with a 16 year old who turned into an alcoholic pedophile.

210% want this to get made into a Harmony Korine movie.

# ? Jul 21, 2016 20:04

many johnnys: May 17, 2015

Vargatron posted:

This is somebody's ultimate fetish right here. GF babytalking to stuff animals? That's it. Done.

You got a friend in me

# ? Jul 21, 2016 20:05

FormerPoster: Aug 5, 2004; Hair Elf

Cthulu Carl posted:

gently caress the dolls, make her watch.

gently caress one doll, make the other dolls watch, make a tape of it for her and make her watch that.

# ? Jul 21, 2016 20:05

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

WampaLord posted:

My [23m] gf [21f] of 9 months is going to spend the day with her ex. Is this ok?

They are 100% going to gently caress, if they haven't already.

GIRLFRIEND IN THE NEXT ROOM OVER WITH EX.LOTS OF SCREAMING.NOTT SURE IF THEIR PLAYING MORTSL COMBAT OR loving PLEASE ADVISE????/

# ? Jul 21, 2016 20:07

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Business Gorillas posted:

GIRLFRIEND IN THE NEXT ROOM OVER WITH EX.LOTS OF SCREAMING.NOTT SURE IF THEIR PLAYING MORTSL COMBAT OR loving PLEASE ADVISE????/

He's been telling her to take something for like half an hour. I don't think she likes whatever he got her though because she keeps saying "oh god" like it's really ugly.

Should I try to mediate their dispute?

# ? Jul 21, 2016 20:10

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

I feel like they should open up their relationship

# ? Jul 21, 2016 20:19

Frosted Flake: Sep 13, 2011; Semper Shitpost Ubique

They just need to communicate better!

He should be more trusting!

# ? Jul 21, 2016 20:25

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Nazzadan posted:

I feel like they should open up their relationship

She agrees

# ? Jul 21, 2016 20:31

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Nazzadan posted:

I feel like they should open up their relationship

It's time for me to open my heart, our relationship, and my legs.

# ? Jul 21, 2016 20:33

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

get yo compersion on

# ? Jul 21, 2016 20:33

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

I want to make a /r/relationships magic 8 ball. You'll get responses like:

"Try an open relationship"
"See things from their perspective"
"Be a better listener"
"Allow them to engage in self destructive behavior"
"gently caress them in front of their doll collection"

# ? Jul 21, 2016 20:57

Teikanmi: Dec 16, 2006; by R. Guyovich

These posts make me so glad I'm in a LTR with a sane, normal human being who acts like an adult

# ? Jul 21, 2016 21:09

timp: Sep 19, 2007; Everything is in my control; Lipstick Apathy

Teikanmi posted:

These posts make me so glad I'm in a LTR with a sane, normal human being who acts like an adult

Makes for a pretty boring story though and for that reason I wish you weren't. Sorry nothing personal mate

# ? Jul 21, 2016 21:14

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Boooooring.

drat F:b

# ? Jul 21, 2016 21:15

P-Mack: Nov 10, 2007

No joke reading this thread really makes me appreciate my wife.

# ? Jul 21, 2016 21:16

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Reading this thread makes me glad I'm single, to be honest.

# ? Jul 21, 2016 21:20

aioli is just mayo: Aug 14, 2003; He has only forbidden to you dead animals, blood, the flesh of swine, and that which has been dedicated to other than Allah . But whoever is forced by necessity, neither desiring it nor transgressing its limit, there is no sin upon him. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful

P-Mack posted:

No joke reading this thread really makes me appreciate my wife.

This thread has been hella great and reminds me of the excitement of old SA and the spooky Internet.

# ? Jul 21, 2016 21:24

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

quote:

About a week ago, my wife and I were laying in bed snuggling and she was running her fingers through my hair and sort of jokingly/absentmindedly said she would leave me if I ever went bald.
I laughed and said I'd leave her if she ever got fat. She went silent for a second and I nudged her and said I was just kidding and I love her and I would never leave her because of that. She then started crying and said she couldn't believe I would say something like that to her.
I've been sleeping on the couch ever since and she hasn't said more than two words to me. I keep telling her I'm sorry and I didn't mean it but she doesn't want to hear it. How do I fix this?
tl;dr: My wife said she'd leave if I went bald, I said I'd leave her if she got fat. She's very upset. What do I do?

# ? Jul 21, 2016 21:44

Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

Frosted Flake posted:

Any somewhat attractive girl will have guys waiting in the wings. Exes, close male friends, sad losers in her social circle.

I feel like a lot of guys are unprepared for this, for some reason.

# ? Jul 21, 2016 21:53

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# ? May 25, 2024 04:38

Roylicious: Feb 21, 2012; Braver than the cops
ain't afraid of no chaps
If they steppin up on me
I just start bustin some caps

Attractive guys have girls waiting in the wings, too.

:ssh:

# ? Jul 21, 2016 21:54

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > www.reddit.com/r/relationships

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