H.H posted:

I want my girlfriend to die.

We were together years ago. She has quite a few medical problems, and I'll admit, it was one of the reasons I walked away from the relationship. Cheated on her, and eventually married the woman I cheated with. That marriage failed after several years. My ex jumped into two extremely abusive relationships. As it happened, as my divorce was going through, my ex-girlfriend was living in a woman's shelter to get away from her boyfriend, and we wound up running into each other. Her medical conditions had gotten much worse, and I genuinely felt bad, so I started helping her out in anyway I could. Mostly I was doing it because I was trying to get laid though. Her friends and family have completely rallied around me due to what a wonderful person I have turned into, and what good care I am treating her with. In fact, I have been hooking up with a former classmate of mine, and once with a random woman on craigslist. My girlfriend's condition is such that she could die at anytime without warning, and I would honestly welcome it. I'd be a hero.

SciFiDownBeat posted:

looking forward to seeing Walla Davis in the new Camp Kill Yourself movie

Waroduce posted:

my ex i was with for 5 years got lupus, and PCOS and a bunch of other poo poo wrong with her at the same time and i walked away.


not anonymous

loquacius posted:

Write real-life fanfiction about yourself doing this thing

SciFiDownBeat posted:

looking forward to seeing Walla Davis in the new Kill-Yourself Krew movie

H.H posted:

I'm thinking about printing up her nudes and either mailing them out to some of her guests, or just putting them on the windshields at the wedding/reception.

tactlessbastard posted:

Well, you could do that if you wanted to be the biggest little shitass ever.

Jose posted:

are you the goon that crippled his gf in a drunk driving car crash and asked gbs how best to break up with her 2 weeks later because she'd changed, years ago?

Red Suit posted:

Also I thought I sent in a confession where I admitted that while Identify as heterosexual, I wanted gently caress a twink and suck his dick but I may have forgot to send it. I'm too lazy to go to gorillamail again so I'll just do it here.

quote:

I'm a terrible person. There isn't a single aspect of my personality or being that isn't about as bad as it could possibly be.

I weigh 400 pounds, roughly. Scales don't go up that high so the last time I had a concrete number was 6-7 months ago when I last visited a doctor and was 380. I've definitely gained weight since then. I'm barely capable of walking under my own power. I have groceries delivered and going to the front door to collect them is the most exercise I get all week, and the only time I open the door. The fat is starting to weigh down on my back so much that every time I do this I have to go lie down or I'll pull a muscle. I shower but only because it's easier than wiping my rear end after I poo poo. My dick is so small and surrounded by so much fat that the urine comes out like a shotgun blast and at least half of it ends up on the floor. My hygiene is poor, I brush my teeth maybe once a month, never wear deodorant and am constantly covered in sweat. I live in filth. I almost never take my garbage out, and my home is infested with ants and mice. The only reason that it isn't also covered in fungus is because I leave very little uneaten, there's never enough discarded food for anything to grow on.

I'm terribly unhealthy and eat nothing but ice cream, soda, pop corn, and mini pizzas. I'm terribly afraid of all human interaction and do my absolute best to never go outside or speak to anyone. Occasionally my mother calls to say hello and every time the phone rings I want to die. I'm unemployed and leech off of my parents, who continue sending me money because I pretend that I'm trying to get a degree. I've failed almost every course I've taken in the past several years and will probably continue to do so until I finally fail out of college. This is partially because I never go to class because I'm fat and unhealthy and hate going outside, but mostly because I don't actually do any of the coursework. I take anti depressants but I'm pretty sure they don't do anything, and I only still take them because when I stop I get headaches.

I masturbate pretty much exclusively to anime, because I hate real women. I really hate them. The only kind of live action porn I enjoy is really hosed up torture poo poo. I don't know why this is. I've never been rejected by a woman, because I've never asked one out, or even willingly spoken to one. I've hated them as long as I can remember. I can't think of any specific event that caused this. Those parts in porn where they do the closeups of vaginas make we want to vomit. I'm a bit gay and have totally accepted that, and masturbate to gay porn sometimes, but my tendencies seem to still be mostly heterosexual. I wish I was fully gay, it seems a lot easier. Don't really know where my burning hatred for women came from, but it's there. On some level I know it's irrational but everything about the way they act just makes me hate them.

I'm also a huge racist. Full honesty, I think white people are inherently superior and blacks are essentially animals that know how to mimic human speech. Definitely voting for Trump if I'm able to get to a polling station. But despite this the kind of gay porn I watch is almost exclusive a big black man on a little white dude. Then again, I also like seeing horses on little white guys and white women too, so maybe I'm just into bestiality and consider niggers to be another kind of animal.

On the internet I'm a huge coward and desperate for acceptance since it's the only form of human interaction I get where people can't see me for who I am, so on SA I pretend to be the liberalest bernie-votingest guy around. I've never actually said any of these things about myself before, this is the only honest accounting of who I am in existence.

My only actual hope in life is that the way I've treated my body catches up to me soon and my organs shut down.


I think that about covers it. Oh, and one more thing: as I was writing that last line I had to stop because I noticed there was a trail of ants walking around on my stomach. I think they were carting crumbs away.

quote:

m convinced I'm an alien hybrid. I was told all my life that was adopted. But I started getting suspicious when I went through my adoption records and found a bunch a of errors. Like there's one place where my name is misspelled, and my birthdate is wrong in one place too. The big thing to me is that I have situs inversus, a condition where my organs are the mirror of a normal person's. This is a rare condition but lots of researchers think it's common among hybrids. And the thing is that this is mentioned in my earliest medical records, how could they know something like that right away?

I've had dreams about traveling through space and about living on a different planet almost as long as I can remember. I think these are probably memories that were implanted in me for some reason.

I'm pretty sure my adoptive parents didn't know anything. My records were probably all already faked before they even came along.

H.H posted:

Shayu posted:

I think there was another person who confessed to being an alien, maybe it is merely more common than we thought at first?

Shayu posted:

I think there was another person who confessed to being an alien, maybe it is merely more common than we thought at first?

LethalGeek posted:

I dated someone who told me this once it was quite the eye opener

Shayu posted:

I think the fat person one was written by someone who is not actually fat but merely trying to create a character that he believes resembles sexists and racists in the real world. Racists and sexist I have never known to call it that, and they would not confess it as a problem because they believe it is correct. So I think it is fictional.

inokichi posted:

Yeah they're trying way, way too hard to make them self sound like as big as arsehole as possible

Shayu posted:

I think the fat person one was written by someone who is not actually fat but merely trying to create a character that he believes resembles sexists and racists in the real world. Racists and sexist I have never known to call it that, and they would not confess it as a problem because they believe it is correct. So I think it is fictional.

quote:

i lost sight in my right eye

i tell everyone that it was a work accident but it was actually because I was drunk and a buddy bet me that I couldn't light a fire cracker using only my mouth

turns out i could and it blew up in my face

the good news is my eye looks super badass now

quote:

(sent from real address)

this is my email i use to find guys. sometimes they pay me. sometimes they just gently caress me.

i'm unemployed now. i've got a payday loan due. i'm hosed six ways from sunday.

i'm a real big loving slut and i don't care anymore.

i've hosed guys whose faces i barely saw. who deleted my number and came back the next day. who i met blackout drunk on the train and made me bleed and didn't care.

i'm a ghost and a stereotype of a Crazy Girl and i'm having more fun and doing better with my life than any of you sad virgin fucks. risk something. ruin your body. crash the car of your life into the biggest tree you can find. nothing else better is coming. just live and find the bodily pleasure you can and survive.

well, bye.

H.H posted:

a stereotype of a crazy girl

loquacius posted:

Did someone who is in debt to loan sharks really just attempt to make me jealous of their life because they have a lot of sex

Nation posted:

goddamit ddbj calm down

Inzombiac posted:

My real confession is that I once slept with a girl who 100% thought she was a werewolf. She claimed to have been raised in Valhalla by two giant wolves that imbued her with the power to shape shift.
Of course she wouldn't show me because I was a mortal and she wasn't allowed.

Jose posted:

are you the goon that crippled his gf in a drunk driving car crash and asked gbs how best to break up with her 2 weeks later because she'd changed, years ago?