More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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Khisanth Magus: Mar 31, 2011; Vae Victus

flosofl posted:

Eh. It's colored, flavored bubbly water with a small amount of caffeine at that point.

I mean yeah, it's a lot, but it's not like sucking down liters of HFCS water like regular soda. Of course, there's a study or two that says diet drinks trigger appetite but not satiation, but eating like a pig is a whole other issue.

Yeah, the artificial sweetener in diet soda has issues all its own.

I drink one 4 shot espresso drink in the morning and then just drink water the rest of the day, sometimes with a Gatorade if I do something like mowing the lawn that results in lots of sweating. I'm gonna see is I can persuade the company to get us our own espresso machine when my team gets moved to its own building. Don't have much hope of it, especially after a stunt like the department head withdrawing his approval for my raise, but I'm gonna try! Especially as our new building is further from the coffee shop.

# ? Aug 2, 2016 20:04

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# ? May 10, 2024 00:49

nielsm: Jun 1, 2009

flosofl posted:

Eh. It's colored, flavored bubbly water with a small amount of caffeine at that point.

I mean yeah, it's a lot, but it's not like sucking down liters of HFCS water like regular soda. Of course, there's a study or two that says diet drinks trigger appetite but not satiation, but eating like a pig is a whole other issue.

The "bubbly" part can definitely be a problem, though. Carbonation actually raises the acidity of the drink, which can damage the teeth, and possibly also affect digestion in general.

There's also some claims that artificial sweeteners can affect metabolism in strange ways, but I have no idea how true that it. (Personally I can't stand the aftertaste of aspartame.)

# ? Aug 2, 2016 20:06

18 Character Limit: Apr 6, 2007; Screw you, Abed;
I can fix this!; Nap Ghost

flosofl posted:

Eh. It's colored, flavored bubbly water with a small amount of caffeine at that point.

I mean yeah, it's a lot, but it's not like sucking down liters of HFCS water like regular soda. Of course, there's a study or two that says diet drinks trigger appetite but not satiation, but eating like a pig is a whole other issue.

Artificial sweeteners don't metabolize like HFCS, but they have an impact.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19151203

# ? Aug 2, 2016 20:08

Sormus: Jul 24, 2007; PREVENT SPACE-AIDS
sanitize your lovebot
between users

Dick Trauma posted:

I lived not too far from a paper mill and the runoff smelled reallllllly bad. A lumber mill would've smelled much better.

EDIT: I should point out that this was the early 1970s when factories could just dump whatever they wanted into rivers. Who cares if it turns orange!

If you mean something smelling kinda like rotten eggs: yes its p. bad. Its the smell of rotting paper.

Otherwise i suspect you mean a pulp mill. As paper mills usually only release stuff during wash/cleaning days.

All paper mills, that are operating normally, ive visited smell of wet paper and rust.

# ? Aug 2, 2016 20:08

Arsten: Feb 18, 2003

nielsm posted:

Personally I can't stand the aftertaste of aspartame.

Aspartame tastes like copper to me. It is entirely gross.

# ? Aug 2, 2016 20:13

xzzy: Mar 5, 2009

nielsm posted:

There's also some claims that artificial sweeteners can affect metabolism in strange ways, but I have no idea how true that it. (Personally I can't stand the aftertaste of aspartame.)

They're just claims. There's no hard research behind it.

Or there wasn't a few years ago when I last looked the topic up. It was all bloviating from the anti-chemicals crowd.

# ? Aug 2, 2016 20:15

Super-NintendoUser: Jan 16, 2004; COWABUNGERDER COMPADRES; Soiled Meat

In no scenario when you are drinking a softdrink should your boss lecture you about it or attempt to package up and remove your lunch that he decides is unhealthy.

At $AWFUL_JOB I had ordered some mexican food. I ate half a burrito and left the other in the fridge. The boss/owner worked over night and ate it. No big deal, seriously. The next day, I wondered where it went so I asked around "hey did someone eat that burrito?" and he got super defensive and was like "I did, I run this place and I'll eat whatever I want". I really didn't care, I was just curious where it went.

Fast foward a few days. I'm sitting in our conference room in a meeting with a client, discussing their phone system. He walks into the conference room and hands me half a burrito. "THERE SEE, DON'T ACCUSE ME OF STEALING YOUR FOOD AGAIN." The burrito was unwrapped, and dripped juice all over my papers, the table, and my laptop. I didn't have any napkins or anything, it was just suddenly burrito.

We (the client and I) just looked at him "seriously?"

# ? Aug 2, 2016 20:20

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Jerk McJerkface posted:

In no scenario when you are drinking a softdrink should your boss lecture you about it or attempt to package up and remove your lunch that he decides is unhealthy.

At $AWFUL_JOB I had ordered some mexican food. I ate half a burrito and left the other in the fridge. The boss/owner worked over night and ate it. No big deal, seriously. The next day, I wondered where it went so I asked around "hey did someone eat that burrito?" and he got super defensive and was like "I did, I run this place and I'll eat whatever I want". I really didn't care, I was just curious where it went.

Fast foward a few days. I'm sitting in our conference room in a meeting with a client, discussing their phone system. He walks into the conference room and hands me half a burrito. "THERE SEE, DON'T ACCUSE ME OF STEALING YOUR FOOD AGAIN." The burrito was unwrapped, and dripped juice all over my papers, the table, and my laptop. I didn't have any napkins or anything, it was just suddenly burrito.

We (the client and I) just looked at him "seriously?"

I would be mildly annoyed that someone just decided to eat my food, and mildly disgusted that someone would just grab half eaten food (that's not their's) and eat it. I would have been double disgusted if someone handed me half a piece of eaten food and repayment.

I don't like people stealing my poo poo, whether it's $1.50 worth of burrito or $10000 piece of hardware.

# ? Aug 2, 2016 20:22

Dick Trauma: Nov 30, 2007; God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Sormus posted:

If you mean something smelling kinda like rotten eggs: yes its p. bad. Its the smell of rotting paper.

Otherwise i suspect you mean a pulp mill. As paper mills usually only release stuff during wash/cleaning days.

All paper mills, that are operating normally, ive visited smell of wet paper and rust.

You are of course correct my fine/finn friend. It was a pulp mill.

# ? Aug 2, 2016 20:23

Bob Morales: Aug 18, 2006; ~~Just wear the fucking mask, Bob~~

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

Jerk McJerkface posted:

We (the client and I) just looked at him "seriously?"

Did you tell him his mom was a burrito?

# ? Aug 2, 2016 20:43

Polio Vax Scene: Apr 5, 2009

Filed with HR for racism.

# ? Aug 2, 2016 20:45

18 Character Limit: Apr 6, 2007; Screw you, Abed;
I can fix this!; Nap Ghost

Bob Morales posted:

Did you tell him his mom was a burrito?

I see you brought a your mom joke in for lunch. Let's talk about that...

# ? Aug 2, 2016 20:50

MC Fruit Stripe: Nov 26, 2002; around and around we go

Am I just a little too street for you pansies, because I kinda assume that if someone just drops a burrito on me, they'd like to engage in fisticuffs. It'd be awfully tempting to hop up and shove that burrito into dude's face, but maybe that's just me.

e: Also, if someone is just joining the thread from this point, I implore you not to scroll up, because without a context, this may be the most nonsensical post in forum history.

# ? Aug 2, 2016 21:20

pixaal: Jan 8, 2004; All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

Pissing me off: Adding a 32bit driver for a new printer in TYOOL2016 (okay its 6 months old now).

We have one god drat XP machine left, and it has some equipment that the vendor wont support driver wise above XP, and a new model is coming out next year that will support windows 10 (current "new"model cutoff is win 7 gently caress you 8, oh and we have 8 and no 7 licenses). They need access the god drat printer from that computer for some new process a customer wants.

I hate you XP, and I hate you 32bit both of these things should have died 5 years ago.

# ? Aug 2, 2016 21:44

Bob Morales: Aug 18, 2006; ~~Just wear the fucking mask, Bob~~

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

AS/400 guy is such a moron.

"Hey, you see that cron job had an error importing an order?"
"what? which one? ...an error adding commment..."
"Shouldn't we have gotten an email saying the import failed like we usually do?"
"the orders in there...the comment just didn't get put across"
"I know, but we should have gotten an import error email like we normally do."
"Well. I'll call xxx and ask them why"
I can do that you nicompoop. What good are you?

# ? Aug 2, 2016 21:52

nielsm: Jun 1, 2009

pixaal posted:

Pissing me off: Adding a 32bit driver for a new printer in TYOOL2016 (okay its 6 months old now).

We have one god drat XP machine left, and it has some equipment that the vendor wont support driver wise above XP, and a new model is coming out next year that will support windows 10 (current "new"model cutoff is win 7 gently caress you 8, oh and we have 8 and no 7 licenses). They need access the god drat printer from that computer for some new process a customer wants.

I hate you XP, and I hate you 32bit both of these things should have died 5 years ago.

Does there really not exist some really dumb proxy printer driver, where the client computer just produces standard PostScript or PCL, and sends it off to the printserver which then has a real driver?
Heck you could probably even implement it as a PDF printer driver, which automatically just dumps the PDF into a network share with a random name, and then a server picks it up and prints it.

# ? Aug 2, 2016 22:17

Nuclearmonkee: Jun 10, 2009

Bob Morales posted:

AS/400 guy is such a moron.

"Hey, you see that cron job had an error importing an order?"
"what? which one? ...an error adding commment..."
"Shouldn't we have gotten an email saying the import failed like we usually do?"
"the orders in there...the comment just didn't get put across"
"I know, but we should have gotten an import error email like we normally do."
"Well. I'll call xxx and ask them why"
I can do that you nicompoop. What good are you?

Being an AS/400 guy seems to be a pretty great gig if you don't mind being extremely bored most of the time.

# ? Aug 2, 2016 22:21

Super Slash: Feb 20, 2006; You rang ?

Eat/drink whatever you want, but don't be that guy who microwaves some fish in the kitchen... yes we know what you ate because the entire city block can smell it. :barf:

Jerk McJerkface posted:

"THERE SEE, DON'T ACCUSE ME OF STEALING YOUR FOOD AGAIN." The burrito was unwrapped, and dripped juice all over my papers, the table, and my laptop. I didn't have any napkins or anything, it was just suddenly burrito.

Y'all work in some interesting places, holy poo poo does this place run on fight club rules or something?

Despite being a class-A clown shoe, stealing someones lunch is one the lines you just don't cross and grounds for a slap in the chops.

# ? Aug 2, 2016 22:22

xzzy: Mar 5, 2009

Microwave popcorn should be forbidden in all offices because literally no one can cook it without burning it.

Fortunately there's two doors and a long hall between me and the break room but the restrooms are right there and it taints the whole area for a day.

# ? Aug 2, 2016 22:26

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

Moron network guy left without getting ldap working. ALL YOU HAVE TO loving DO IS COPY THE OLD USERS SETTINGS! Jesus Christ!

# ? Aug 2, 2016 22:36

Super-NintendoUser: Jan 16, 2004; COWABUNGERDER COMPADRES; Soiled Meat

Super Slash posted:

Eat/drink whatever you want, but don't be that guy who microwaves some fish in the kitchen... yes we know what you ate because the entire city block can smell it.

Y'all work in some interesting places, holy poo poo does this place run on fight club rules or something?

Despite being a class-A clown shoe, stealing someones lunch is one the lines you just don't cross and grounds for a slap in the chops.

I dont work there now. I was so young and naive then. Now that I'm a grown up if this happens I make one phone call and have four interviews lined up on two days.

# ? Aug 2, 2016 23:00

Bob Morales: Aug 18, 2006; ~~Just wear the fucking mask, Bob~~

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

Nuclearmonkee posted:

Being an AS/400 guy seems to be a pretty great gig if you don't mind being extremely bored most of the time.

For not having any tasks assigned to him he comes up with a bunch of poo poo to hammer away at all day

# ? Aug 3, 2016 00:34

Nuclearmonkee: Jun 10, 2009

Bob Morales posted:

For not having any tasks assigned to him he comes up with a bunch of poo poo to hammer away at all day

They are probably bullshit maintenance ones that could be easily automated which seems typical for AS/400 guys.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 00:40

Bob Morales: Aug 18, 2006; ~~Just wear the fucking mask, Bob~~

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

Nuclearmonkee posted:

They are probably bullshit maintenance ones that could be easily automated which seems typical for AS/400 guys.

Yea it's all bullshit like deleting reports checking files and fixing poo poo he hosed up "fixing" other things

# ? Aug 3, 2016 00:54

Virigoth: Apr 28, 2009; Corona rules everything around me
C.R.E.A.M. get the virus
In the ICU y'all......

Bob Morales posted:

Yea it's all bullshit like deleting reports checking files and fixing poo poo he hosed up "fixing" other things

Nuclearmonkee posted:

They are probably bullshit maintenance ones that could be easily automated which seems typical for AS/400 guys.

Whoa now we all need those days sometimes.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 01:42

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

I suspected one of my reports was skipping a step in the written procedure so I set a sort of canary trap to catch him and then have proof to coach him but the trap caught everyone on second and third shift :psyboom:

# ? Aug 3, 2016 12:01

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

It's good if dealing with that isn't your problem

# ? Aug 3, 2016 12:27

Gounads: Mar 13, 2013; Where am I?
How did I get here?

xzzy posted:

Microwave popcorn should be forbidden in all offices because literally no one can cook it without burning it.

Fortunately there's two doors and a long hall between me and the break room but the restrooms are right there and it taints the whole area for a day.

I once worked in an office that had a toaster oven in the breakroom. It was never cleaned.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 12:52

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Thanks Ants posted:

It's good if dealing with that isn't your problem

It's definitely my problem. Not only do I have to crack some skulls now I look like a huge doofus to my boss for having such rampant deviance.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 12:54

Bob Morales: Aug 18, 2006; ~~Just wear the fucking mask, Bob~~

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

xzzy posted:

Microwave popcorn should be forbidden in all offices because literally no one can cook it without burning it.

We had a

who would make bacon every morning in the microwave using one of those bacon wave things.

Well one morning she put the bacon in there for 20:00 instead of 2:00. Caught the breakroom on fire.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 12:57

Arsten: Feb 18, 2003

Bob Morales posted:

We had a who would make bacon every morning in the microwave using one of those bacon wave things.

Well one morning she put the bacon in there for 20:00 instead of 2:00. Caught the breakroom on fire.

I like people who don't have the critical thinking skills to be all like "It normally doesn't take this long to cook my bacon" and then go check. :thumbsup:

# ? Aug 3, 2016 13:09

Bob Morales: Aug 18, 2006; ~~Just wear the fucking mask, Bob~~

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

Arsten posted:

I like people who don't have the critical thinking skills to be all like "It normally doesn't take this long to cook my bacon" and then go check.

I think she went back to her desk and took a phone call or something and was just going to go grab it afterwards...

# ? Aug 3, 2016 13:21

spog: Aug 7, 2004; It's your own bloody fault.

tactlessbastard posted:

It's definitely my problem. Not only do I have to crack some skulls now I look like a huge doofus to my boss for having such rampant deviance.

Still better than being caught out by your boss's boss.

Or the laziness causing huge financial loss/danger to life.

Bet no-one in your company will see it that way, though.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 13:28

Arsten: Feb 18, 2003

Bob Morales posted:

I think she went back to her desk and took a phone call or something and was just going to go grab it afterwards...

An ex-girlfriend was that stupid. She'd put something in the oven for like 20 minutes and then go do something time consuming. She'd come in from mowing the lawn or whatever and be all "WHY DOES THIS OVEN BURN EVERYTHING?!"

# ? Aug 3, 2016 13:32

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

Backups failing and you lack the required skills or fucks to resolve the problem? Just block the notifications at the mail server and go back to sitting on your arse.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 13:48

SEKCobra: Feb 28, 2011; Hi
Don't look at my site

Bob Morales posted:

We had a who would make bacon every morning in the microwave using one of those bacon wave things.

Well one morning she put the bacon in there for 20:00 instead of 2:00. Caught the breakroom on fire.

Not her fault if she didn't install the microwave.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 13:51

ptier: Jul 2, 2007; Back off man, I'm a scientist.; Pillbug

ratbert90 posted:

1099 Network "Engineer" migrated our network from WS2003 -> 2016. All is well except the engineering network (All Centos7.2) can't authenticate against ldap anymore because he didn't set up a LDAP user to authenticate against.

He's spent the last 30 minutes bitching about Linux and somehow isn't capable of adding a simple LDAP user to authenticate with win WS2016.

Without LDAP we can't get into our git server.

If by WS you mean Windows Server then that fucker just put technical preview software into production.

Wikipedia posted:

Windows Server 2016 is expected to be officially released at Microsoft's Ignite Conference, September 26 to 30, 2016. Unlike its predecessor, Windows Server 2016 is licensed by the number of CPU cores rather than number of CPU sockets�a change that has similarly been adopted by BizTalk Server 2013 and SQL Server 2014.[28]

So he is doubly an rear end in a top hat.

For content:

Hi I'm VMWare vCenter - I need you to go into 3 different interfaces to fix a domain issue because reasons.

- SSH
- vSphere Web Client
- vCenter Server admin console

# ? Aug 3, 2016 15:06

incoherent: Apr 24, 2004; 01010100011010000111001
00110100101101100011011
000110010101110010

Look man it's the future, just push windows server 2016 technical preview into production

# ? Aug 3, 2016 15:18

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

spog posted:

Still better than being caught out by your boss's boss.

Or the laziness causing huge financial loss/danger to life.

Bet no-one in your company will see it that way, though.

Fortunately, he took it well and praised the slyness of my trap :cheers:

# ? Aug 3, 2016 15:18

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# ? May 10, 2024 00:49

pixaal: Jan 8, 2004; All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

Super Slash posted:

Despite being a class-A clown shoe, stealing someones lunch is one the lines you just don't cross and grounds for a slap in the chops.

My employee handbook has rules about food having to be clearly marked with your name and date, 2 days after the date it goes free for all and the day after it gets tossed. This is apparently because there used to be someone that would leave stuff in the fridge for weeks and it would get funky but no one else would touch it because it wasn't theirs.

I find the leave it 2 days and someone else can eat it rule disturbing, but the throw is out makes perfect sense.

I apparently work with pigs since I just approved an Everyone @ Company.com email about dishes left in the sink over the weekend will be thrown out. I don't usually go into the kitchen as we have a department fridge. I went in there, it smells horrible and the sink is growing a massive amount of mold. Monday is sink cleaning day now!

# ? Aug 3, 2016 15:20

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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