WampaLord posted:

What a year 2016 is where "don't kiss other people" is a weird thing to want in a relationship.

darkhand posted:

Idk I think selling your body is kinda hosed up personally, just my opinion sorrey if you disagree

zakharov posted:

Her mom actually set her straight on it lol

zakharov posted:

In my first few months of dating my now-fiancee, we disagreed on whether it was ok for her platonic male friend to share a bed with her when he was staying in town. She didn't see why I might not be thrilled with this.

Her mom actually set her straight on it lol

quote:

I [36F] am taking my god son [14M] in. I bought him furniture for his room and my husband [40M] has got rid of it because my god son is not our child.

I am taking in my best friends son Chad [14M], my god son into my home. The less said about his mother the better, she herself with all the poo poo she pulled is a 5000 word essay. She is not allowed to come near her son, I doubt she would want to anyway.
I have two children of my own Candice [14F] and Ashley [13F]. Chad is a really sweet kid. He is moving to Connecticut to live with me. He is due to get here in three days time

I went and I bought him a whole bunch of furniture for his room. Bed, desk, TV stand, TV. I set up his room really nicely everything he could ever need. I went on a business trip for three days, I came back and everything in his room is gone.
My husband who was 100% on board on bringing him into the house, he even told me to do it before I explained the full situation to him. Has gotten rid of all the furniture I bought for his room, he won't tell me what he did with it. He told me he does not have the energy to raise a child that is not his. He told me my god son is not his responsibility

Help? I don't know what to do

tl;dr: Husband has gotten rid of all the furniture I bought for my god son. He is now saying he does not have the energy to raise a kid that is not his.

zakharov posted:

Moridin it's great that you and your gf have a happy relationship but surely you see you are in the minority here. Most people in a monogamous relationship would not be ok with their partner sharing naked pics.

zakharov posted:

platonic male friend

Khorne posted:

I kind agree with Moridin though. Kissing some guy for a youtube video is no big deal. The only big deal is the girls in those videos are usually paid because the entire premise is stupid and it's designed to be porn for children on youtube. Kinda like the Sears catalog was in the 90s.

Xaris posted:

also this one is sad

ArbitraryC posted:

It could be a boundary thing. I broke up with a girlfriend of ~2 years for kissing a dude at a party, she was honest about it the next day and apologized profusely but I just couldn't get it out of my head that if I let it slide the next time it'd be more than 1st base. Full on severed and didn't talk to her for ~half a year at which point I had finished up school, was dating someone else, and wanted missed the friendship a bit. We still talk on and off and I hang out with her whenever I visit my hometown but I was 100% right and she's basically cheated on every boyfriend she's had since then.

I think kissing someone outside the relationship is a potentially forgivable offence but maybe at that point he just felt disrespected or worried that things wouldn't stop there if he didn't put his foot down, I'd have broken up in his shoes too.

a hole-y ghost posted:

a hole-y ghost posted:

what the gently caress are you guys even talking about what is this youtube video poo poo

ArbitraryC posted:

It could be a boundary thing. I broke up with a girlfriend of ~2 years for kissing a dude at a party, she was honest about it the next day and apologized profusely but I just couldn't get it out of my head that if I let it slide the next time it'd be more than 1st base. Full on severed and didn't talk to her for ~half a year at which point I had finished up school, was dating someone else, and wanted missed the friendship a bit. We still talk on and off and I hang out with her whenever I visit my hometown but I was 100% right and she's basically cheated on every boyfriend she's had since then.

I think kissing someone outside the relationship is a potentially forgivable offence but maybe at that point he just felt disrespected or worried that things wouldn't stop there if he didn't put his foot down, I'd have broken up in his shoes too.

Moridin920 posted:

Ultimately I'm not trying to say what people should do, if you're uncomfortable then that's fine break up. What I'm saying is, don't just full on sever people (assuming they aren't abusive) without at least a token 'hey you kissed that dude that wasn't chill with me sorry girl we done.'

For all you know that sudden sever made her insecure and unable to really connect with other people in a relationship and that's why she cheats on everyone

Xaris posted:

also this one is sad

zakharov posted:

Breaking up because you decide you can't get over your partner kissing someone else: fine, if you communicate about it

Ghosting: stupid and for babies

Do we all pretty much agree on this

quote:

My girlfriend [32F] gave away a lot of my things at a "clothing swap"/charity, and says that I [28M] am overreacting and too attached to material possessions

My girlfriend and I have been dating two and a half years. For the last eight months she has lived with me in my apartment. I am a systems analyst and she is an actress and waitress in a restaurant.

quote:

Our [13F&14M] brother [20M] is coming home. He hits us and said he will kill our cat if we tell mom & dad Non-Romantic


Our brother hits us and he is coming home because he dropped out of college. He has hit us in the past and we know he is going to do it again. He has told us he will kill our cat in the past if we said anything to mom and dad. I can't do anything he is to strong and big we don't want him here

tl;dr; brother is coming home

Moridin920 posted:

zakharov posted:

Breaking up because you decide you can't get over your partner kissing someone else: fine, if you communicate about it

Ghosting: stupid and for babies

Do we all pretty much agree on this

quote:

Two days ago, one of the boys in my homeroom class told me that some 12-year-old boys in this sports group were calling me a slut and going into details about why I must surely be one. Their reasoning for it is that I'm very busty, wear clothes that are tight around the bust and that accentuate my figure, and that when they try to speak to me, I ignore them.

These are not boys I teach or know at all. Sometimes when I pass by their home rooms, they cat call at me or shout that I'm their favourite teacher. If I hear this, I tell them firmly to stop, and move on. However, as I've never had any real contact with them, I don't actually know them at all. The only thing they have in common is their sports team.

This school has had disciplinary issues stemming from the all-male environment before. At one point it was not uncommon to hear of upskirting videos being taken of teachers. I dress professionally in pencil skirts, nice wrap dresses, etc., but perhaps I should have tried to hide myself more.
When I met my colleague in the elevator, I mentioned the feedback to him and also informed him that the same group of boys also spoke of other female teachers the same way, e.g. naming them after sexual positions. I was really shocked - and, to be honest, angry - when he turned to me, raised his eyebrows, laughed and exited the lift. Once he stepped through, he put his hand through to hold the elevator door open, made eye contact with me deliberately and laughed once again before leaving.

Moridin920 posted:

Xaris posted:

also this one is sad

quote:

...I am taking in my best friends son Chad [14M]...

...I have two children of my own Candice [14F] and Ashley [13F]....

Moridin920 posted:

this one is long so I'll just link and tease

quote:

We didn't exactly fight about it but I'm still pretty bummed that she would do that. My girlfriend says that my "attachment to material things is troubling" and that I'm overreacting.

loquacius posted:

man, that little girl has not mastered the craft of writing tl;drs yet

fits my needs posted:

Ghosting is okay if it's an abusive relationship.

Moridin920 posted:

and

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/4vzjag/my_colleague_34m_mocked_me_when_i_29f_asked_him/

SciFiDownBeat posted:

oh boy

quote:

I [36F]

zakharov posted:

Don't post the depressing ones you assholes, funny trainwrecks only

zakharov posted:

These idiots are asking for a lawsuit.

Lockback posted:

Nope, this is what you do. Sever immediately, sever completely, sever friends who try to bring it up. Never stop severing.

quote:

My boyfriend "John" and I met at a seasonal position just over 3 years ago, and when I went to finish my studies in college after my contract was over he moved in with me.

My parents were supporting me a bit and I was working a couple jobs at my university along with going to school, so when John struggled to find a job (the town we lived in was notorious for having a terrible job market) I didn't worry too much. He worked a part time job at Target for a couple months and sold a lot of his belongings to help pay bills. Soon John began bouncing from job to job, either them letting him go because they were overstaffed or he would become extremely depressed because he felt all he was doing with his life was playing catch up on bills and washing dishes. I understood his feelings, and sympathized because I've had depression almost all my life, so I didn't mind supporting us, even though I was extremely stressed and stretched out. I would try and help him find a job or try and help him volunteer somewhere to help with his depressed feelings. He didn't want to volunteer because he said he needed to get paid to support us, but the jobs just weren't hiring.

Fast forward to my last semester of college. I found out I was pregnant and couldn't keep the baby because I wasn't ready by any means and my parents threatened me if I got pregnant in college with various cruel words. I struggled thoroughly with my depression because I really wanted a baby and just knew it wasn't time, John did the same because all he has ever wanted was to be a father. But I thought we could band together and work through it. I got a really good job, and was about to get my degree. He had just left a job, but we were doing okay. Struggling financially and not eating dinner periodically, but no worse than a lot of my friends who were supporting themselves as well.

Fast forward again about 3 months and I find out that about a month after my pregnancy ended John had taken out a credit card in my name and spent money with it. I confronted him after I called my credit card agency (he did a credit card off my main credit card, which I don't know how that works ask Capital One) to figure out why I was being charged two monthly fees from them and found out he had taken it out by recognizing the email he used to make an account. He denied it at first but finally broke down and said he really wanted to help me build my credit (finances were a big factor on not having a child right then) and he was going to pay the bill once he was working again.

I was furious and told him so. He explained he doesn't actually know how credit cards really work (he was raised by foster care) and I told him to never pull this stunt again and that he was on thin ice. After a few weeks and I cooled down I told him if he did anything else like this it was time to let me know so we could deal with it. I told him I would be mad, but I would rather he just tell me so we can work with it and move on. He said no, so we moved on.

John ended up getting another job, and said he would help me pay off a credit card so I said sure and was very excited that I was getting help paying bills and proud that he was helping me. Turns out that wasn't the case, the bills were not getting paid on this credit card and he had been using it, it was overdue and maxed out. I didn't monitor anything on it because I trusted him (stupid). I confronted him over it and said I don't know how to handle this anymore. He apologized and so on and so forth.

Well by then a bunch of outside factors were affecting us (we were living with a narcissistic roommate who was stealing my things and overcharging us, and I was dealing with a lot of past trauma that suddenly surged into the forefront of my life) so I was really just at the end of my rope. We packed up and moved out to do some seasonal work again just to try and get everything settled.

I told John that now that we are both employed I needed him to help me pay back these bills, that these were his fault as much as mine and he needs to help me clean up the mess he made too. He broke down and said he's working as hard as he can and we're getting paid so little, and that he feels all I want from him is money. I tried to tell him that's not the case I'm just sick of feeling like I handle all the finances and that he spent money that was under my name while I had to take the responsibility to pay it back. I told him I felt like he was using me, and he explained that he wouldn't have sold almost all his possessions if he was using me, and he is doing the best he can to save up and pay things back.

Well, he hasn't paid things back. And I get yelled at if I do because we have to save to see my family (their demands, plane ticket has already been purchased) and we have to save to move somewhere after this seasonal job ends. But I'm getting harassed by collectors constantly and my credit score is poop. I explained that I feel my credit score is important to moving and making a new life because housing and jobs take that into consideration and he says I'm stressing too much.

I don't feel like I'm stressing too much, but I have a history of being extremely hard on myself and demanding perfection. I'm worried I'm just demanding perfection of him too. I can honestly see he is trying and working extremely hard, but I feel like he could be doing more and every time I bring it up he gets so sad because he can tell it's hurting me. I'm worried he's trying to fix it and I don't see it because I only understand one way of fixing this and that's paying everything off, whereas he sees fixing it as saving up and making sure we don't have to go into debt anymore.

Am I being too hard on him or too impatient with trying to repair things financially? Or am I just ignoring red flags because I love the bugger to death?

tldr; my boyfriend and I struggle financially, and I don't know if he's doing it on purpose or if I'm just demanding too much of him.

Moridin920 posted:

like my gf sells topless photos online for $ and I don't give a poo poo whatsoever

esp not when they buy her stuff off her wishlist and I have a brand new games console

zakharov posted:

The r/relationships material is coming from inside the thread.

Moridin920 posted:

why? prude

it's not even selling your body it's selling images of your boobs lol

Moridin920 posted:

MyChemicalImbalance posted:

Who the gently caress pays actual money for photos of boobs on the Internet.

MyChemicalImbalance posted:

Who the gently caress pays actual money for photos of boobs on the Internet.



E: the subtext here is she's selling something worth buying and telling you it's tit pics you loving tard