Sentient Data posted:

What are you talking about? The first time they physically met he proposed and she presumably accepted. If that ain't perfect execution of commitment I don't know what is

cyberia posted:

http://twitter.com/thebrainbabe/status/723544232280117248

Moridin920 posted:

I was really shocked - and, to be honest, angry - when he turned to me, raised his eyebrows, laughed and exited the lift. Once he stepped through, he put his hand through to hold the elevator door open, made eye contact with me deliberately and laughed once again before leaving.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I know the title is pretty confusing, and honestly, I feel kind of pathetic posting about such a small problem here.
Me and my best friend are very close. We call each other sis and bro sometimes. We met in time where both of us felt really low. For as long as I can remember I had a character "X". I drew her when I was about 12, liked her design and gave her a backstory and everything. She's like a part of me, as weird as it sounds. Most artists or writers might understand that.
I thought of her name a lot. It's a name that if you google, nothing will show up. About a year ago he used this name for his video game character in an MMO. I basically broke down. I begged him to change it and he contacted a GM which changed it for him. I understood he didn't know how much X meant to me, and he was very apologetic.
Fast forward to now. He started a new MMO with his girlfriend, which I didn't join. He sent me a screenshot of their characters, and you can probably guess where this is going. He used X's name again. When I got visibly upset he started joking around and laughing and saying "are you proud I represent you". When I told him I'm tearing up because of it and that I'm gonna go offline (we were talking on FB) he just said "K". I don't know how to feel about this situation, I thought he knew from last time how much it hurt me. I know most of you might think I'm overreacting, but this is a character I gave backstory to, that I basically grew up with. I drew her through my toughest times. This situation really sucks. I feel disrespected because it was the only thing I asked him not to do, and he went and did it again.
tl;dr: Ever since I was about 12 I drew and make a backstory to a character "X". I drew her when I was sad, and as weird as it sounds, she kept me going. Her name is unique, I made it myself. He used this name in an MMO, I broke down and asked him to change it. He was very apologetic and changed it. Now it happened again, he just laughed at me and started joking around when I got visibly upset. I need help getting over this, I don't know how to react or what to do. I feel really disrespected.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

My [25f] husband [25m] is soliciting sex on Craigslist. Again.

Shnag posted:

But it doesn't mean I have to be comfortable with my SO having sex with strangers (for money or in general).

Moridin920 posted:

I like how you goons immediately rush to this based on nothing other than 'my gf sells pics of her boobs online and idc'

Relax meng no one said you had to be.

zakharov posted:

I would like to hear about the theoretical woman that would respond well to the dick size note

zakharov posted:

I would like to hear about the theoretical woman that would respond well to the dick size note

ranbo das posted:

idk why you wont link some of her pics here if you don't care

pshap posted:

from askmanager.com but fits in well:


http://www.askamanager.org/2016/08/i-emailed-my-girlfriends-boss-to-complain-that-he-encroached-on-our-relationship.html

quote:

I just moved into a new apartment which is much tinier than my old one, but in a nicer area. It's a studio with a huge walk in closet. On my first night here I didn't have any furniture yet, so I threw my TempurPedic mattress topper on the floor of the closet and slept in there. It was actually super cozy and comfortable, so I decided to stick with it. I've now furnished the rest of the apartment like a normal living room, and I sleep in the closet every night. Now, I realize that this is kind of quirky and bizarre, but I don't usually have people over, and I like saving the floor space.

My boyfriend of 5 months came over for the first time this morning and was shocked to see my sleeping arrangements. At first I laughed at his reaction, but then I realized that he was actually, genuinely upset. I would understand if it was a sex thing and he didn't feel like banging on the floor, but we rarely spend time at my place because both of our jobs are much closer to his house (and also, he has an actual house as opposed to a studio apartment). He texted me after leaving and said he was really upset by the lack of a bed, and he would take me to the store this weekend and buy me one.

I'm extremely pissed off by this, and I want to know if it's justified. His reaction and text made me feel like a) he has no sense of humor about life, and b) he feels "responsible" for me in a creepy patriarchal way.
I know it seems like a dumb thing to break up over, but this is my first actual relationship, and I don't like that I already feel disrespected. Am I being an idiot? Is he?

EDIT: Should have made this much much clearer. He was not expressing shocked concern or even mild irritation. His exact words were, "What the gently caress is wrong with you? Only a lunatic would live like this." He had raised his voice at this point and I told him to stop yelling, as we were in an apartment building. He stormed out and went home even though we had plans later that night. His text came about an hour later.

zakharov posted:

I would like to hear about the theoretical woman that would respond well to the dick size note

zakharov posted:

quote:

quote:
I threw my TempurPedic mattress topper on the floor of the closet and slept in there. It was actually super cozy and comfortable, so I decided to stick with it.

I sleep in the closet every night.

My boyfriend of 5 months came over for the first time this morning and was shocked to see my sleeping arrangements. He texted me after leaving and said he was really upset by the lack of a bed, and he would take me to the store this weekend and buy me one.

I'm extremely pissed off by this in a creepy patriarchal way.

I being an idiot

His exact words were, "What the gently caress is wrong with you? Only a lunatic would live like this."

He stormed out and went home even though we had plans later that night.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

age/size/location should all have to go in the /r/relationships post title

Me [26/4.5/Texas] with my GF [14/38D/Dubai] of 3 years...help

zakharov posted:

living in closet

zakharov posted:

zakharov posted:

I just moved into a new apartment which is much tinier than my old one, but in a nicer area. It's a studio with a huge walk in closet. On my first night here I didn't have any furniture yet, so I threw my TempurPedic mattress topper on the floor of the closet and slept in there. It was actually super cozy and comfortable, so I decided to stick with it. I've now furnished the rest of the apartment like a normal living room, and I sleep in the closet every night. Now, I realize that this is kind of quirky and bizarre, but I don't usually have people over, and I like saving the floor space.

My boyfriend of 5 months came over for the first time this morning and was shocked to see my sleeping arrangements. At first I laughed at his reaction, but then I realized that he was actually, genuinely upset. I would understand if it was a sex thing and he didn't feel like banging on the floor, but we rarely spend time at my place because both of our jobs are much closer to his house (and also, he has an actual house as opposed to a studio apartment). He texted me after leaving and said he was really upset by the lack of a bed, and he would take me to the store this weekend and buy me one.

I'm extremely pissed off by this, and I want to know if it's justified. His reaction and text made me feel like a) he has no sense of humor about life, and b) he feels "responsible" for me in a creepy patriarchal way.
I know it seems like a dumb thing to break up over, but this is my first actual relationship, and I don't like that I already feel disrespected. Am I being an idiot? Is he?

EDIT: Should have made this much much clearer. He was not expressing shocked concern or even mild irritation. His exact words were, "What the gently caress is wrong with you? Only a lunatic would live like this." He had raised his voice at this point and I told him to stop yelling, as we were in an apartment building. He stormed out and went home even though we had plans later that night. His text came about an hour later.

gentle pete posted:

BIG DICK MIND gently caress

JnnyThndrs posted:

Closet-dweller's boyfriend is a loving idiot, it's great to be able to shut the door on your unmade bed and instantly have a clean/presentable apartment. That's why Murphy beds were/are the poo poo.

Professor Shark posted:

Please hate my boyfriend

JakeP posted:

So she slept on a mattress topper on the ground with no mattress? That sounds less than ideal

china bot posted:

dear reddit:


seriously, how loving hard is it to talk to the person you gently caress

paco650 posted:

Aaah, the "Canadian Girlfriend." Mordin, thank you for bringing back this nostalgic institution.

35y M married for ~2years. Punched in the balls, still not sure if I'm in a abusive relationship..

quote:

Thank you reddit for making me see clearly, after I made this post 2 weeks ago. I have understood so much more about abusive relationships from the comments and links shared. I have another wall of text for you, cause I have nothing better to do in the holiday season.

I was perhaps dismissive of my wifes emotions during her lows, cause they made no sense to me given my perception of reality [and were so contrary to how she was the rest of the time]. Now I understand her motivations a little bit better (which doesnt make it any less screwed up) - I transcribed the conversation she had with me immediately after she punched me, and she clearly states all her insecurities and really doesnt have any insight about her behaviour (and thus has no acceptance of responsibility and is unlikely to change).

I'm trying to leave the relationship, but it has become clear that my worst fears are sadly true (you paranoid redditors were right!). She has malicious intent and her parents are complicit. I could quiet possibly get pretty screwed over - I do have lots of recordings since the incident, but I'm not sure if anything is admissible, not do I have anything truly incriminating.

Going back 2 weeks I actually tried to make things work, she always blames me, so I tried to be on my best behaviour and agreed to see a psychologist. For her part, she said she'd get help - saw a psychologist and started a antidepressant that the GP prescribed. Medications generally take a few weeks to work, but she actually seemed to show some improvement early; we could discuss taboo topics, and she actually agreed with me.. (It was an exciting win, and then it dawned on me how bloody abusive a situation has to be to consider that a win - I basically convinced her that I should be able to have personal discussion about my relationship with friends, that is what friends are for, to have personal discussions).

Weekend just gone Our parents decided to have a family meeting to discuss our issues from 2 weeks ago, the family had planned to meet pre-christmas anyway. Prior to the meeting she had a build up of tension on the car ride over and had a verbal go at me (nothing major, I was hurt none the less, cause I had tried to be impeccable all week). The meeting started with me trying to be all neutral saying things like 'we have a failure of conflict resolution, every time we have a disagreement, the relationship gets held hostage' but she got very worked up and essentially said a lot of aggravating things, such that the whole evening deteriorated into a massive commotion. Her parents hounded me and blamed me for 'making her crazy' and said things that 'aggression can be lead into' and I am responsible. Her mother is nutty religious and said that 'if you have no god in your heart, you have no love' (i'm atheist). My wife also told her that I forced her on antidepressants (i hadnt). Anyway she stormed out, I called the cops cause it was 3am, and she wanted to leave with my daughter. They told me I couldn't stop her.

Next day, they calmed down wanted to talk, but did not take responsibility. Kept shifting the reason as to why the night hadnt gone well. I presumed they would stay at my wifes sisters home, but they actually came home (freaked me out). They talked calmly, and tried to make it seem like I was being unreasonable and stubborn - as if the numerous harsh things that had been said the night prior had never been said. I should have walked away straight away, but I tried to rationalise for a few hours, and then insisted and left to stay in a hotel. I really feel like if I hadnt, I would be stuck back in the pattern. The next day (Sunday), they left to stay with my wifes sister, and I now have the house to myself! Sadly I havent seen my daughter either.

Things I have realised;

she is massively insecure, things are worse after our daughter, because she feels that no one cares about her now that our daughter is here (jealous of daughter). She fears I will try to remove the daughter. Things were actually really good during the pregnancy, I suspect it might be because she felt special/had purpose (not really sure).

I cant trust anything she says. She really does say whatever it takes to get her way and to keep the relationship - i try to avoid being swayed. No wonder they think I'm stubborn. I cant trust when she says that she will address the physical violence.

I might have personality traits that predispose me to being taken advantage of. I need to work on that. Maybe I'm eager to please, easily swayed, liking forward women etc..

Her parents are complicit, and depict similar behaviours.

Ok.. so I finally woke up and got some help

Domestic violence helpline - said what I experience was extreme. most services unfortunately geared towards women.

Reported incident to police. Ok, NO ONE GETS MALE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (If I had hit my wife while she was carrying the child it would have been a whole different matter). Cop behind the counter said, meh go the magistrates court to request my limited intervention order (which is a legal document, saying that if she abused again it would be a criminal matter - it serves as a serious warning and gets services involved). I went to the court, and they were like WTF - go back to the cops and speak to someone in the Family violence unit, this is F'd up. Next cop was really nice, basically the cops will request the intervention order. I toned down the statement so it would not be a criminal matter, I felt I should not punish her.

Arranged a meeting for setting up a parenting plan through an independent mediator.

Met a lawyer, who advised me to cancel lines of credit and call child protection. I followed advise, told child protection that violence happened in the context of tension between us, and she otherwise seems to care reasonably for the child.

Met a psychologist, that she had seen (supposedly to address the physical violence, was in the referral letter). I explained my story, explained how well she presents. He was like wow, she never mentioned that she had an issue with physical aggression.

Called her, cause I though maybe I was being too paranoid/harsh, tried to explain that I'm just putting support services in place (I have done my best to make sure none of the services overreact/get her in trouble, everything is protective). She then starts falsely accusing me of physical violence, says I punched her in the nose (she has had previous nosebleeds, which she likely sought medical attention for). I'm dumbstruck (I know you are probably doing the 'i told u so' smirk). She says she has been silent about it till now. I say can I speak to her dad, he says 'yes, you have been hitting her'. FML.

I want to see my daughter, she says I can only do so in her house (which is now crazy hostile from my perspective). She says I'm not safe! even to meet in a cafe. She is using every bargaining chip to screw with my emotions - atleast her true colours are evident to her parents, who clearly know she is making false statements. I have no idea what our friends will believe.

With the holidays I am screwed - no lawyers, no court.

I might not be able to be there for my daughters first Christmas.

I have become a bit jumpy in my lonely house.

I'm not functioning too well. Its not grief, its like my neurons are overheating from the constant thoughts. I'm dehydrated.

I feel lonely, its bizarre, like the weird need to talk and share, hence this wall of text mightier than the wall in GOT. I'm usually pretty content on my own.

I can see light at the end of the tunnel so its not all bad. At least I'm walking towards the light now. I also suspect I have enough to demonstrate her allegations are retaliatory (and false).

tl;dr: In a abusive relationship, learnt a lot, getting out is going to be hard.

quote:

Thanks I'm reading every reply. Yes many diagnosis have been thrown borderline, intermittent explosive disorder, narcissistic personality disorder etc. I'll follow up.. She does say things like what do I have to be jealous about no woman could compare to me.

I hadnt realised intermittent explosive disorder existed. She has now started telling me that her behaviour is justified because of the way I react when she has her explosions - i.e. my walking away, she feels constitutes abuse by failing to provide for her needs. She therefore feels that she is justified in hitting me.. I'm starting to see that this is pretty crazy.. I almost feel like if she could take something when she feels the onset of her symptoms that would help, but I dont think she recognises it as a problem she has..

quote:

I'm 35y old father of a 4month old. My wife is 32y and has been verbally and physically abusive towards me for many years (most of the 6 year relationship, details in my posts at here. After she punched me and try to strangle me a few weeks ago, while I was carrying my daughter, it finally dawned on me that I need to get out.

Daughter is breastfed and with my wife, who is staying with her sister. I have done everything I can (informed cops, child protection, spoken to lawyer). Seems she may have a personality disorder, borderline/narcissistic not sure, but she is high functioning, very manipulative, presents very well. She has no insight about what she is doing, and turns the tables around and blames me for everything. She is hugely insecure, and the relationship deteriorated, after she started feeling that I loved our daughter more than her.

Questions:

She is denying me access to my daughter, and saying things like I'm unsafe. She doesnt even want me to see her in a public place for Christmas. I cant get in to see lawyers till 5th Jan. Is there anything I can do to see my daughter.

I feel she needs help and an independent psychiatric assessment. What avenues do I have to make this happen. She did put my child in a dangerous situation, but at other times seems to care reasonably for her.

Moridin920 posted:

I like how you goons immediately rush to this based on nothing other than 'my gf sells pics of her boobs online and idc'

Relax meng no one said you had to be.

quote:

I [15F] lost my virginity to my ex [16M] last night. He broke up with me because I was loose. I feel awful[new]
submitted an hour ago by Ifeelusedre
I have been dating this guy for 2 months and last night convinced me to have sex with him. When we were done he told me to get dressed and leave I was confused because I thought I was staying the night at his place.
He told me I was too loose and he got not pleasure out of it. He broke up with me and I cried in the uber on the way home. When I got home my twin brother [15M] got me to stop crying. He is a really funny guy, like half the time he does not even try funny stuff just happens to him.
I just told him we broke up, I did want my brother to lose cool over the whole indecent. I also did not think my brother would like or want to hear about his sister Vagina. He cheered me up but I still feel so sad. I feel as if like no guy is going to want to be with me now.
I don't feel like I can talk to any of my friends, I don't know what to do with myself.
tl;dr: I lost my virginity to my ex last night and he broke up with me and said I was too loose.

Shnag posted:

It would be funny if it turned out the ex bf just had a pencil dick. What a douche bag.

Shnag posted:

It would be funny if it turned out the ex bf just had a pencil dick. What a douche bag.

quote:

Just for my peace of mind, I could hold his whole penis with one hand. I did not need two, he told me that is the normal size for a penis.

So it was just to small then?

Shnag posted:

I [15F] lost my virginity to my ex [16M] last night. He broke up with me because I was loose. I feel awful[new]
tl;dr: I lost my virginity to my ex last night and he broke up with me and said I was too loose.