"Anonymous Confessions: The legend of pissbitch".

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Automatic Slim: Jul 1, 2007

There was nothing awkward about me boning my cousin at all. It was hot and kind of sweet at the same time. A+++++ would bang again.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 02:43

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# ? May 9, 2024 21:58

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Everyone my age fucks their cousins. loving your cousin is the coolest. You ain't nobody, if you don't gently caress your cousin.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 02:48

china bot: Sep 7, 2014; you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX; Plaster Town Cop

If loving your cousin is cool, consider me Jerry Lee Lewis

# ? Aug 8, 2016 02:50

Inzombiac: Mar 19, 2007; PARTY ALL NIGHT

EAT BRAINS ALL DAY

One time my cousin tried to pounce on my totally huge bone but I am a proud gentilesir so I crawled out of the room pretending to be a cat.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 03:24

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

china bot posted:

If loving your cousin is cool, consider me Jerry Lee Lewis

My man!

# ? Aug 8, 2016 03:25

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

lol im totally not racist BUT hitler had the right idea

# ? Aug 8, 2016 03:28

H.H: Oct 24, 2006; August is the Cruelest Month

quote:

I have squirrel traps in my backyard. When I get one, I bring it into my garage, tape it down to my workbench, and attach a little picture of a girl's face to it. Then I cut off all of its limbs with my hatchet and masturbate onto it as it dies.

quote:

Blah blah blah I don't care about people and had no reaction to family members dying, pets dying, and I'm a badass because 9/11 doesn't matter to me. I never did and still (mostly) don't. I was raised in a house where I was consistently reprimanded for not displaying appropriate emotional responses to situations. I'm the ultimate predator. Stone cold sociopath revealing myself anonymously. Yawn.

The only interesting part (to me) is that I actually met, and married, a woman and felt a genuine connection for the first time in my life. It was like I had been living in isolation inside my head for my whole life and suddenly a door opened and I could feel things in a new way. Feelings weren't sounds on the edge of my hearing anymore.

When we had our daughter, everything changed. The door that had opened was ripped down and I cried. I cried for days. Tears of joy and grief over things that had happened years ago.
Family members, tragedies, etc. I quickly shut down again and don't feel anything for anyone outside my wife and child EXCEPT for babies and small children.

I still fake reactions to things like "oh my god a thousand people died" or "your cousin died" but Jesus I can't handle a baby having a cold without wanting to cry. I control myself but I die a little inside when I see headlines about toddlers dying in small cars. It breaks my heart in a way I hadn't felt before my daughters birth.

tl;dr: I'm another Edward Cullen wannabe but after I met my wife and had my daughter, I'm capable of feeling things I never felt before and have an emotional weakness for kids. I want to cry just thinking about orphanages needing volunteers to cuddle with babies because they're orphans. I'm about to cry just typing it.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 06:29

H.H: Oct 24, 2006; August is the Cruelest Month

quote:

Heeeeey, it's that guy from a couple threads ago who makes dildos. I've got some free time now, so if there's still interest, I can make a new account and a thread in Ask/Tell.

Do people still want to know about it? And is it kosher to have multiple accounts, so long as I'm not trying to avoid a ban/probation?

quote:

I spend 500+ dollars a month on cam girls. Mostly one girl going by the name of Tara Parker. I thought she really liked me and had a lot of the same interests and overall was a nice innocent southern girl who hasn't been with many guys and doesn't believe in casual sex. This made her incredibly attractive to me. Recently though I found out she filmed herself loving her male roommate and I can't stop crying about it. I can't even bring myself to jerk off to it even though I spent 20 dollars to download it.

Why do all the good girls ruin themselves instead of giving me a chance?

# ? Aug 8, 2016 06:38

H.H: Oct 24, 2006; August is the Cruelest Month

quote:

This is the heroin goon thx for the advice but I'm not from the states, where I live I won't be able to apply for our equivalent of an expunged record until 2021, even then the process takes years. I had a good chance of beating my most recent charge in court so I gave that a shot, but as a result the process dragged on and I was convicted only a year ago. Therefore both the previous and the current conviction is only eligible to be cleared after the aforementioned year.

I've spoken to a trusted professor for advice after my first year, he spent 20 years as the head of my program. The only thing he said was that he's personally seen that every grad received a placement after graduating, and it's highly unlikely that I'm the first with a record. For some reason this didn't give me too much comfort.

At times I get very frustrated thinking of all the other people who are barely passing each semester being in a better position than me to land a job once I graduate. I realize this is a consequence of my own mistakes and missteps but I can't help but feel like its unfair.

I also tutor first year students at the college, which is a paid position, so I have that going for me as well, along with the fact that I've formed good relationships with almost all of my professors. I do hope those things will help, but I don't think it's going to negate the convictions, especially if a job may require a security clearance(some do most don't).

If things don't work out for too long, like more than a year, I don't know how I'm going to handle it. I'm not worried about a relapse, it's more the idea that I won't live until 30 will become a self fulfilling prophecy.

quote:

I've been following these threads for years and I've wanted to think of something to say that wasn't just a block of text that could be summarized as "I'm a dumb loving sadbrain goon" and I guess I have something more than that.
I graduated high school about a year ago (sorry to make you feel old) and moved a few thousand miles to go to college. Haven't made many friends, and I just came back to my hometown and the friends I had in high school are lying and saying their busy working/with family, but instead their snapchat is them hanging out with each other and mutual friends.

So here I am sitting in my grandma's condo pretending to have a normal amount of friends in college and also pretending to be liked by my friends in my hometown for the next few weeks. I make up for my sad life by posting extremely positive poo poo on social media whenever I get sad in the hopes I can make someone happier than I am.

So there's that. Remember goons, you're all (mostly) wonderful people and I appreciate all of you.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 06:39

Stunt_enby: Feb 6, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

dildo guy, people have done parachute accounts for A/Ts in the past and nothing has come of it so i bet you're good

# ? Aug 8, 2016 06:54

H.H: Oct 24, 2006; August is the Cruelest Month

If and when you decide to make that thread, don't forget to post here using the new account and link it.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 06:57

Bargearse: Nov 27, 2006; 🛑 Don't get your pen🖊️, son, you won't be 👌 needing that 😌. My 🥡 order's 💁 simple😉, a shitload 💩 of dim sims 🌯🀄. And I want a bucket 🪣 of soya sauce☕😋.

Camgirl guy, her entire job is to find ways to separate people like you from your money. Get a Tinder account and don't piss $500 away each month.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 07:04

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

thats the saddest confession yet lol

# ? Aug 8, 2016 07:51

Bargearse: Nov 27, 2006; 🛑 Don't get your pen🖊️, son, you won't be 👌 needing that 😌. My 🥡 order's 💁 simple😉, a shitload 💩 of dim sims 🌯🀄. And I want a bucket 🪣 of soya sauce☕😋.

Seriously, go out and get laid.

I've gotten laid. If I can do it, you can too!

# ? Aug 8, 2016 07:58

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

Bargearse posted:

Camgirl guy, her entire job is to find ways to separate people like you from your money. Get a Tinder account and don't piss $500 away each month.

I'm pretty sure the type of guy that falls for a camwhore is going to have a hard time finding anyone on tinder.

I just can't wrap my head around expecting someone who fucks themselves on camera for a living would be "innocent" or whatever, or would ever want to meet their obsessive customers.

e: i think tinder would just get him addicted to the many prostitutes that use that to find customers. I'm not sure if that's a step up or not.

yeah I eat ass fucked around with this message at 10:06 on Aug 8, 2016

# ? Aug 8, 2016 08:15

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

I'm just your plain ol' innocent Southern girl. I don't believe in sex without a deep emotional connection. *double fists self in front of 100s of strangers*

# ? Aug 8, 2016 09:47

H.H: Oct 24, 2006; August is the Cruelest Month

quote:

I have been with my girl for about three years now. The backstory is normal, and not particularly relevant. We�fre in our early thirties, it�fs not our first time round the ring, etc. I love her dearly and would honestly love for things to work and to spend the rest of our lives together. Unfortunately, her myriad medical/physical issues have begun to accelerate at a rate that has me sincerely wondering how many of them are actually psychological. She is seeing every sort of specialist you can imagine for each and every issue, to the point where she has an appointment a day (and as many as two) each day of the week. She�fs had surgeries as well. Nothing seems to be helping and on a dark, inner level I know this is not going to get any better/easier as we push 40 and start getting old. This has understandably worn both of us out; she is snapping at me over trivial stuff, and I am beginning to tune out and be unable to offer the amount of support she wants when a health issue comes up - often several times daily for several different issues. This doesn�ft count her family crises which are many and also require a lot of emotional support. Our sex life has faded to near-nothingness, in most part due to the health problems. The truth is, I am exhausted�c I feel twenty years older than I am, and my friends and family are beginning to notice and express concern. I don�ft have energy for much other than work anymore, and have to push myself to maintain hobbies and social stuff/friends. All I want to do with my spare time is drink and zone out, which is bad and scares me a bit. She�fs noticed that too and understandably isn�ft happy about it.

I find myself increasingly thinking about leaving all of it - we�fre not married and do not live together yet, it wouldn�ft be that difficult. I feel incredibly guilty for my increasing thoughts of finding a younger woman who is healthy/can have sex/eat normal food (did I mention extreme dietary restrictions?)/go out/have fun. I love this girl and it shreds me up inside to think about the reality of breaking up; that awful moment where I leave her at her flat in physical pain and by herself. I honestly don�ft know if I could do that. You might be about to say �gwhy is this an anonymous confession you fool, this is something many people deal with - see a therapist�h so I�fll get to the dirty anonymous part:

Her family is proper loaded... more loaded than anyone I have ever known in my life, and I live in a major city and have worked in industries full of wealthy people. Her family owns patents on stuff a lot of you are using right now. Her mum�fs hobby/collection, among other things, is cornering the world market on an item costing upwards of $250,000USD/each (she�fs got a whole lot of them). Large real-estate buys are done on impulse and for fun. The family business has offices worldwide, and regularly receives buyout offers from a huge rival that they laugh at on principle because it's not about the cash at that level.

I had no idea about any of this until many months into the relationship when I started putting two and two together, culminating in finally meeting her parents at their house and going �gok�c. bloody hell�h. My girlfriend will receive an equal-split portion of this inheritance - I know, because I ran across legal documents while idly snooping through a bookcase while watching house for her parents. I cannot lie to you, or myself, and say this doesn�ft factor into my relationship decision. I�fm a bloody realist, and walking out on more money than I ever dreamed of having causes second thoughts I probably shouldn�ft be having.

Money doesn�ft buy happiness nor health, but it sure as poo poo buys everything else.

quote:

I love watching the news these days. Everything is breaking down into the natural state. Racism, War, Genocide, Hate and strife. The internet is bringing about true knowledge to the world, or at least a place where poo poo is being put up for critical examination and I can't help but be ready to go. Vote Trump, push the mexicans back to mexico where they can get slaughtered by their own kind in drug wars. Bomb the middle east into steaming pile of poo poo because the zionist jews need to keep their lovely little tribe together. Cops can keep shooting the blacks that have been fed a line about being oppressed when really they are just degenerate poor shits with an IQ lower than human baseline. The Chinese can keep killing each other and poisoning the environment until the Japanese get another emperor boner and wipe them out. Europe is already breaking down what with trash islamics and africans running around murdering and raping a complacent public. Africa is,was and will continue to be a cesspool of human misery. Who the gently caress knows whats going to happen elsewhere but I'm tired of living a civilized life. I hope and pray for the day it all loving ends and I can find that other right winger who wants to hunt nu-male hipsters and we can shoot and kill and eat anyone and have a harem of slaves or whatever my instincts tell me because holy poo poo this whole 9-5, mortgage, kids die poo poo looks like a long and slow suicide. Better to go out with a belt of ears a .308 rifle blazing away and a screaming gently caress slave behind me. I know I wont last long at all but at least I don't have to listen to some bernie-fag limp dicked poo poo head tell me that black-lives-matter and hide my emotions another day. I hope and pray for the day I have any excuse to kill one of these poo poo heads and brag about it on tv.

I also am super loving degenerate and would be purged by myself. I just hate everyone and everything that isn't me. Genesplicer is a perfect example getting butthurt over words like tranny. Give it up you old gently caress and just die already so you and the rest of your filthy generation stop making poo poo worse. I hope you take Enfield's example and douse yourself in grease and just blaze away.

"... Kill Em All 1989 I am trash man 410,757,864,530 DEAD COPS" ... is a phrase that speaks to me.

e: deleted Unicode characters in 2nd quote that didn't parse correctly.

H.H fucked around with this message at 11:23 on Aug 8, 2016

# ? Aug 8, 2016 11:20

Groovelord Neato: Dec 6, 2014

i hate to break it to that goon but violence has gone down year after year and we're living in possibly the most peaceful and safe time in human history

# ? Aug 8, 2016 11:32

Yorkshire Pudding: Nov 24, 2006

"I want to see the world burn" guy:

The world is actually a nice place, and most people are pretty good. The world's not "falling apart" either, and we're moving closer to a peaceful society.

Go outside instead of watching the news and sitting on the computer all day.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 11:35

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Goon with rich hypochondriac girlfriend, is it even possible you'll live long enough to see any of her parents' money? I'm asking because your fingers are so goddamn fat you can't type the letters E, R, or T without hitting the F key.

If yes, wait it out and poison her as soon as her parents kick it. With her medical history and its apparent link to her mental state, police are gonna be investigating it as a natural death, possible suicide rather than a homicide.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 11:40

H.H: Oct 24, 2006; August is the Cruelest Month

Groovelord Neato posted:

i hate to break it to that goon but violence has gone down year after year and we're living in possibly the most peaceful and safe time in human history

This is actually very much to the point. The only thing I can agree on with that rant is the "Chinese poisoning the environment" bit.
If we can collectively manage to overcome the impending ecological disaster, there is no telling how far we can progress.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 12:00

Mr. 47: Jul 8, 2008; Well, I guess I'll just go fuck myself, then.

H.H posted:

Why do all the good girls ruin themselves instead of giving me a chance?

This sounds like stage 3 of the five steps toward becoming a serial killer. I hope this guy gets help and/or laid soon.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 13:13

free basket of chips: Sep 7, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

H.H posted:

This is actually very much to the point. The only thing I can agree on with that rant is the "Chinese poisoning the environment" bit.
If we can collectively manage to overcome the impending ecological disaster, there is no telling how far we can progress.

We won't. We're already past the tipping point and there's no stopping climate change.

It's pretty clear that the US government wants to let the ice caps melt. Portland, Maine is the closet port in the US to Europe. If the arctic melts, it would become one of the closet ports to Asia as well. Its a prime money making opportunity.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 13:22

H.H: Oct 24, 2006; August is the Cruelest Month

quote:

i'm the girl in love w/a sociopath slash possible-killer (pg 23)

the fact that no one even noticed me makes me feel like this is right. i've been ignored so often my whole life. he sees what's amazing about parts of me no one pays attention to. he pays attention to me. even when he ignores me i know it's deliberate and so far he keeps
coming back.

i used to be sad or scared when i thought that i deserved to be dead. but now it's reassuring. knowing someone would do it if i asked. that he might even if i don't. he might break my bones. he already cut my face open and i thought it was an accident and he laughed and said "oh of course not". and i fell harder right then.

honestly, my only real serious concern is who's going to take care of my cat if i die.

quote:

I have worked for the last 4 years, and did at another hospital for 3 years, at an inpatient psych ("Behavioral health") hospital.

First off, if you are just "sad", stop wasting public money and deal with your marital/parental/societal issues like an adult. Take your meds, stop your self destructive behavior.

Second, if you actually have a mental illness, TAKE YOUR MESS and stop doing method. 99% of all Schizophrenics/affectives use meth. It makes you crazier and you like to tattoo your face.

Third, I see, and have seen, the hottest women you could ever think of naked. Many masterbate openly and need to be redirected out of public spaces. I have been offered head more times than I can remember. They are loving NUTS and I'm not a scum bag and for every hot rear end chick I see, I gaze upon the glory that is old meth-y genitals of both sexes 30 to 1.

I'm really drunk right now. Olympics are boring.

MLYP

# ? Aug 8, 2016 13:45

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

You should bang the crazie

# ? Aug 8, 2016 13:48

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Zzulu posted:

You should become a serial rapist

Please don't do this.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 13:56

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

H.H posted:

me again!! i don't owe a payday loan service anymore; i'm just 3 months overdue on rent!! hahahahaha

i thought i lost my keys last night and cried till some nice girl let me into my apt complex

a homeless former crack addict wants to gently caress me but he won't

tomorrow some Big Dick Chad that all my friends call the "italian stallion" is going to bang me sober and it'll be great. i'm about to take on a job as some guy's exec assistant/bang maid. y'all pussies are whining about yr resumes while i bulk mine up getting hosed by someone more ~alpha~ than you and i'm crying

This has to be Nirvikalpa

# ? Aug 8, 2016 14:29

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

quote:

i'm the girl in love w/a sociopath slash possible-killer (pg 23)

Nobody responded because it's obviously fake. You're not good at creative writing. And no one wants your loving cat.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 14:40

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

bradzilla posted:

This has to be Nirvikalpa

I doubt it, as far as I'm aware Nirvikalpa's thing is that she never gets laid, ever

# ? Aug 8, 2016 14:42

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

I just want you goons to know that none of you are wonderful people and I don't appreciate you at all :colbert:

H.H posted:

George Costanza / dude with rich sick girlfriend

I feel kind of bad that my first thought upon hearing "super rich girl from old-money family with tons of health problems" was "I wonder how much cousinfucking her family has done over the generations"

but for real though look at your current happiness level and ask yourself how much being rich would really help you. If you end up married to her with access to all of her money and you get busted banging a sidepiece, which seems like a likely outcome to me, you probably won't get anything in the divorce. Imagine yourself spending all your free time drinking and zoning out for your whole life -- would drinking super expensive booze instead of Evan Williams really make that any more fulfilling? I wouldn't do this, and I love money. Just walk away, man. Help yourself to a couple of those mysterious $250,000 things (Rolls Royce???) and get out. Don't worry about her, she's a grown-rear end woman and if she has breakup troubles her family can just buy her three new houses or whatever.

Groovelord Neato posted:

i hate to break it to that goon but violence has gone down year after year and we're living in possibly the most peaceful and safe time in human history

The two most consistent wrong opinions people have held since the beginning of time are "kids today are so much worse than they were when I was a kid" and "the world is falling apart and it's nothing like the Good Ol' Days"

did you know thirty years ago we were in a Cold War with a nuclear superpower with an anathematic ideology to our own and a strong interest in wiping us out??? but it's way worse today because chinamen and jews and black people etc etc etc. Take your meds, grandpa.

Red Suit posted:

We won't. We're already past the tipping point and there's no stopping climate change.

It's pretty clear that the US government wants to let the ice caps melt. Portland, Maine is the closet port in the US to Europe. If the arctic melts, it would become one of the closet ports to Asia as well. Its a prime money making opportunity.

I don't understand the Portland theory because if the Arctic melts wouldn't it be underwater :confused:

H.H posted:

lady in love w crazy guy

I mean, this isn't exactly a rare phenomenon, actual convicted serial killers have tons of fangirls (I think the Tsarnaev fans have calmed down by now but I had a chip on my shoulder about them for a while). I dunno if the suicidal tendencies you were alluding to in this post were embellished for attention purposes, but if they weren't, that's probably the reason you're attracted to a guy who cut your face open for no reason. Someone out there cares whether you're alive, even if the anonymous confession you wrote got lost in a huge flood of posts because it sounded made-up. :therapy:

etc etc

loquacius fucked around with this message at 15:00 on Aug 8, 2016

# ? Aug 8, 2016 14:58

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

KomodoWagon posted:

I doubt it, as far as I'm aware Nirvikalpa's thing is that she never gets laid, ever

Yeah, plus there's not a single mention of broken garage doors in that confession.

e: or troons

# ? Aug 8, 2016 15:09

Waroduce: Aug 5, 2008

@Rich gf goon

marry that bitch, pump some kids into her and keep a few discretionary bitches on the side, or make friends and go out and do one night stands.

travel for work and gently caress around

# ? Aug 8, 2016 15:17

crackton: May 9, 2009

Waroduce posted:

@Rich gf goon

marry that bitch, pump some kids into her and keep a few discretionary bitches on the side, or make friends and go out and do one night stands.

travel for work and gently caress around

seconded

# ? Aug 8, 2016 16:48

subhuman filth: Nov 1, 2006

Waroduce posted:

@Rich gf goon

marry that bitch, pump some kids into her and keep a few discretionary bitches on the side, or make friends and go out and do one night stands.

travel for work and gently caress around

please dont do this to the transparently mentally ill woman

# ? Aug 8, 2016 16:51

subhuman filth: Nov 1, 2006

google "somatization disorder." she has all the resources in the world and can probably be fixed

# ? Aug 8, 2016 16:55

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BUY IT.

KomodoWagon posted:

If yes, wait it out and poison her as soon as her parents kick it. With her medical history and its apparent link to her mental state, police are gonna be investigating it as a natural death, possible suicide rather than a homicide.

what a terrible thing to say. I certainly wasn't thinking that.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 16:59

rakovsky maybe: Nov 4, 2008

Waroduce posted:

@Rich gf goon

marry that bitch, pump some kids into her and keep a few discretionary bitches on the side, or make friends and go out and do one night stands.

travel for work and gently caress around

Thirding this. Come on man this is what people have been doing since time began. Marry her quick and hope her health problems are real and she's not long for this world.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 17:01

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Please do not marry a woman with severe physical and mental health problems with the express intention of cheating on or murdering her

Aside from the obvious ethical issues &c &c, neither of these plans will work out for you

I'm kind of :psyduck:

at the people who say the cops will not suspect that the person who had hundreds of millions of dollars to gain from someone's death might have had something to do with killing her just because she had health issues, especially if your marriage is obviously unhappy to casual observers and/or you're cheating on her

# ? Aug 8, 2016 17:03

Jastiger: Oct 11, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

loquacius posted:

Please do not marry a woman with severe physical and mental health problems with the express intention of cheating on or murdering her

Aside from the obvious ethical issues &c &c, neither of these plans will work out for you

I'm kind of at the people who say the cops will not suspect that the person who had hundreds of millions of dollars to gain from someone's death might have had something to do with killing her just because she had health issues, especially if your marriage is obviously unhappy to casual observers and/or you're cheating on her

COunterpoint: It would probably work out for him really well.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 17:05

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# ? May 9, 2024 21:58

Squashing Machine: Jul 5, 2005; I mean boning, the wild mambo, the hunka chunka

loquacius posted:

Please do not marry a woman with severe physical and mental health problems with the express intention of cheating on or murdering her

Aside from the obvious ethical issues &c &c, neither of these plans will work out for you

I'm kind of at the people who say the cops will not suspect that the person who had hundreds of millions of dollars to gain from someone's death might have had something to do with killing her just because she had health issues, especially if your marriage is obviously unhappy to casual observers and/or you're cheating on her

This. I also think it was really hosed up to put yakety sax over the 9/11 footage. What kind of hosed up place is this?

# ? Aug 8, 2016 17:08

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