|
E1M1 posted:This. I also think it was really hosed up to put yakety sax over the 9/11 footage. What kind of hosed up place is this? Are you suggesting that terrible legal advice presented in earnest is similar to dark-humor internet memes in some way
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 17:11
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 12, 2024 07:31 |
|
|
I don't agree with the murder bit. But that guy should definitely marry and subsequently cheat on his rich girlfriend.
|
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 17:17
|
|
|
i googled the camgirl like the rest of you did lol if this guy thinks going to town on a dildo like that is what every innocent southern girl does
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 17:19
|
|
|
loquacius posted:Please do not marry a woman with severe physical and mental health problems with the express intention of cheating on or murdering her Life isn't Columbo. Cops are dumb and easily bored when there's no unarmed black guy around to murder. The biggest flaw in the plan is the timing. Apparently the girl is not independently wealthy, her parents are rich. He would have to wait until both parents die, and then the wife dies, to see the first cent. If her health problems are real he could very well marry a terminally ill person, take care of her for several months or years while she's on her death bed and not get to do anything fun, only to be cut off summarily once he's a widower. If she's not though, she could easily outlive him but bitch his ears off his entire life. He'd be better off leveraging the gf and getting a high paying job that involves lots of traveling and not much actual work through family connections, and squirrel up as much as he can while living the high life on the corporate teat. Then when they catch on/him and fire/dump his rear end, he can retire on the savings. Much better plan, and it's actually legal.
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 17:23
|
|
at the people who say the cops will not suspect that the person who had hundreds of millions of dollars to gain from someone's death might have had something to do with killing her just because she had health issues, especially if your marriage is obviously unhappy to casual observers and/or you're cheating on her
|
HerStuddMuffin posted:He'd be better off leveraging the gf and getting a high paying job that involves lots of traveling and not much actual work through family connections, and squirrel up as much as he can while living the high life on the corporate teat. Then when they catch on/him and fire/dump his rear end, he can retire on the savings. Much better plan, and it's actually legal. This plan sounds best to me because rather than relying on a goon to competently get away with a murder he'd be the clear prime suspect in, it's the classic "lazy guy dating/married to idle-rich woman with connected dad" move. It's time-tested. Do this, anon goon. That way when you're left with nothing in the divorce because it was caused by your infidelity, you'll at least have gotten a little something for yourself in the meantime.
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 17:32
|
|
|
if you marry an unbearable rich girl just remember that people turn up missing on cruises all the time, if she "fell overboard" or "went missing" at night in international waters I don't know if her disappearance would even really be investigated by anyone
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 17:38
|
|
|
Yeah, no one gives a poo poo if billionaire heiresses die or go missing Her rich and powerful family wouldn't even lift a finger
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 17:39
|
|
|
loquacius posted:Yeah, no one gives a poo poo if billionaire heiresses die or go missing yeah but what are they gonna do, send out search boats? pull surveillance camera footage that doesn't exist? just act like a distraught husband and don't do anything dumb and you'll be OK
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 17:43
|
|
|
Putty posted:i googled the camgirl like the rest of you did was my thought exactly lol. ALso lol if you do'nt marry and bang the rich bitch. Having a lot of money greatly increases the amount of bullshit you can put up with, trust me.
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 17:49
|
|
|
if that top one is real then don't feel so guilty about it dude because that was obviously a set up bc dude wanted you to rail his wife. why else would his reaction be to laugh when you two started making out?
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 18:11
|
|
|
HerStuddMuffin posted:Life isn't Columbo. Cops are dumb and easily bored guess what most criminals are also dumb fuckheads who are easily caught due to some poo poo you never even considered (did you know even if you bleach away blood they can still easily see where it all was?) and nowhere near as smart as the people on Colombo the way to do it is to convince her to take an everest trip with you
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 18:26
|
|
|
"I'm a dumb sadbrains goon" - a member of a forum for dumb sadbrains goons
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 20:39
|
|
|
Wait are we goonsourcing a murder itt?
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 20:47
|
|
|
Business Gorillas posted:Wait are we goonsourcing a murder itt? GOON PROJECT
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 20:48
|
|
|
Marrying for love is a new concept and I think a method that produces short marriages. Marry for economy, you'll learn to live with your partner.
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 20:53
|
|
|
No murder. Yes cooshy job. Marry her and try to get here to a good shrink. Go on cruises for not murder and get her away from appointments for a few weeks. No murder.
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 21:04
|
|
|
sneak lithium into her food instead of murdering her you'll just have an emotionless robot
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 22:23
|
|
|
Well, I, for one, still think you should spend the better part of your life with a woman you hate, then kill her. Just my humble opinion.
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 22:23
|
|
|
when I lick my girlfriends nipples she says I sound like a space station airlock
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 22:30
|
|
|
Alright turds, I made the goddamn dildo thread. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3785918
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 22:48
|
|
|
Lichy posted:when I lick my girlfriends nipples she says I sound like a space station airlock 
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 23:26
|
|
|
Lichy posted:when I lick my girlfriends nipples she says I sound like a space station airlock don't worry she says that about everyone
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 23:41
|
|
|
cock hero flux posted:don't worry she says that about everyone 
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2016 23:48
|
|
|
rich gf goon has to marry her, then discreetly hire a hitman once she gets her inheritance. he'll mess it up, wacky hijinks will ensue and you'll find out it was true love after all
|
|
#
?
Aug 9, 2016 00:57
|
|
|
Dildomancer posted:Alright turds, I made the goddamn dildo thread. im glad you chose this name for your parachute account
|
|
#
?
Aug 9, 2016 00:59
|
|
|
Business Gorillas posted:im glad you chose this name for your parachute account
|
|
#
?
Aug 9, 2016 07:54
|
|
|
quote:It was either this thread or Volume's E/N confession thread, can't quote:The first girl I ever fingered had a yeast infection.
|
|
#
?
Aug 9, 2016 07:55
|
|
|
I hope the top confession is the one about the dude writing a 3 page letter.
|
|
#
?
Aug 9, 2016 07:57
|
|
|
quote:Lost dumb job, hate life direction, studying hard to get into a new field on own time (gently caress paying scam schools), don't feel like working retail/service ever again, considering growing/selling weed with a guy I know who has moved stronger stuff in the past (already wants me to help him bootleg; quit moving heavy poo poo cause it almost got him killed) in the meantime like part-time job. Sad part, may succeed but probably will end up in jail eventually. Better than working retail/service industry still though. Yelled at girlfriend for mentioning the same idea to me drunkenly one night (didn't discuss any of this with her, cause you never tell your girl she'll snitch when you ditch watch any drug crime movie EVER) quote:I think I genuinely hate white people. The neighbourhood my family lives in was of mixed race until slowly suburbanite whites and gays started moving in, turning everything into expensive cloned condos and townhouses for their lovely gluten allergic kids. Now they've made the neighborhood painfully bland and obnoxious, where you can see droves of these people walk around like deer in headlights at all the wonderful small businesses they're surrounded by, gawking at people while they drink marked up wine on a sidewalk. All the while the local beach is now also filled with 40+ year old gay men who wear nothing but thongs and what look like pringle-cans over their cocks. Like, one half of the beach were all these pasty, chunky white families carting along five extremely obnoxious children while the other half, like almost split down the middle, were the old gay men nude tanning. My neighbor regularly throws large parties where lots of old gay men come, and when they go inside they blast music that sounds like they're loving at a Barnes and Noble.
|
|
#
?
Aug 9, 2016 07:59
|
|
|
I don't see how hating white people warrants an anonymous confession. You realize it doesn't work the same as saying you hate black people, right? If you tell white people "I hate white people" most will probably say "Oh my god, like, me too!" and then their boyfriend will say "Me three, oh my god!" and they'll laugh and laugh. Also if you haven't fingered a yeasty girl you have not lived.
|
|
#
?
Aug 9, 2016 08:11
|
|
|
White people have really been dropping the ball lately.
|
|
#
?
Aug 9, 2016 09:41
|
|
|
It was interesting to see this anti-white-people post that reminded me a lot of the racist posts you see from white people a lot of the time, where they say "<such-and-such race> are moving in and it's ruining the neighborhood" without really articulating how it's ruining the neighborhood. Like, there are white people around and the neighborhood is "bland" somehow now because the white people... drink wine that you somehow know the price of? That's the only solid criticism I can find that doesn't involve reading a whole lot into the way they look around at things. And you don't like the gay dudes' bathing suits or taste in music, ok you still come off as super whiny there even if you're expressing yourself a bit better. Like, I know it doesn't make sense to equate racism against white people with racism against other groups, that post just reminded me a lot of the kind of post a mad whitey would make because he doesn't like having to live near brown people but can't think of a legitimate reason for it besides "I don't like when people are brown." Oh, and the wannabe-drug-dealer confession's prose just made me think "wow, Rorschach is getting kind of desperate"
|
|
#
?
Aug 9, 2016 12:49
|
|
|
quote:I'm the goon from the last thread that was feeling suicidal because I didn't expose my cousin after he raped me and he went on to predate my baby brother. quote:I'm probably going to kill myself. I'm a miserable piece of poo poo that no one will miss, so it's fine. I do have a question, though - if a self-signed letter is found on my person containing my postmortem requests, is that a legal document? I know about living wills but this would be a lot easier than dealing with an attorney or whatever. Just in case I gently caress it up I want to make sure my family isn't allowed to keep me alive in a comatose state.
|
|
#
?
Aug 9, 2016 13:51
|
|
|
H.H posted:I'm the goon from the last thread that was feeling suicidal because I didn't expose my cousin after he raped me and he went on to predate my baby brother. Wait so you got raped by a cousin during your childhood and your wife thinks you'll diddle the kids now? Sounds like she's a terrible person and you'll be better off without her in your life anyway
|
|
#
?
Aug 9, 2016 13:56
|
|
|
Second confessor, please call the suicide hotline listed in the OP. If you are not in the US, here's a list of international numbers: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html bradzilla posted:Wait so you got raped by a cousin during your childhood and your wife thinks you'll diddle the kids now? Sounds like she's a terrible person and you'll be better off without her in your life anyway I checked the original confession. If you read this one carefully, you'll also understand it: he knew his cousin was doing the same to his little brother but didn't report it. That's why his wife doesn't trust him around their kids. I'm not excusing her or taking sides in the matter, just my understanding of the facts.
|
|
#
?
Aug 9, 2016 14:00
|
|
|
H.H posted:I checked the original confession. If you read this one carefully, you'll also understand it: he knew his cousin was doing the same to his little brother but didn't report it. That's why his wife doesn't trust him around their kids. Ah, well then, sounds like the wife is right after all.
|
|
#
?
Aug 9, 2016 14:06
|
|
|
Ehh. He was a kiddo when that was going on. Thats like saying all the victims of the catholic church are now untrustworthy because 15 years ago they didnt report something an authority figure did to them. Wife is wrong
|
|
#
?
Aug 9, 2016 14:10
|
|
|
you can leave a suicide note for people to take a gender studies class but i doubt anyone will actually do it
|
|
#
?
Aug 9, 2016 14:11
|
|
|
abused guy you can pm me if you need to talk about it - people have hosed up views of victims of abuse, some read that victim becomes abuser is a thing with no idea what they are talking about
|
|
|
#
?
Aug 9, 2016 14:15
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 12, 2024 07:31 |
|
|
bradzilla posted:Ah, well then, sounds like the wife is right after all. Still doesn't excuse him 'beating the poo poo out of her with a spatula'. I mean, jesus christ, man... Also, suicide goon, please don't  Stuff might suck, but it can and will (with work) definitely get better!
|
|
#
?
Aug 9, 2016 14:21
|
|
