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DukeofCA
Aug 18, 2011

I am shocked and appalled.

MA-Horus posted:

I wanted Reegar as a squad member in 3.

He's awesome.

I would've been happy with at least a small appearance, but apparently Adam Baldwin wasn't available to record lines.

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Thesaya
May 17, 2011

I am a Plant.
Video is not available?

FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

I'm starting to wonder if I'm the only dude that went left.

And we will never see the other heavy weapons again for the rest of the lp.
Well except for showing off new pick ups I suppose

Lynx
Nov 4, 2009
Tali's recruitment mission is a lot of fun if you bring Legion with you.

Reegar: "Shepherd watch out! There's a Geth right behind you!"

monster on a stick
Apr 29, 2013

SubponticatePoster posted:


Migrant Fleet Enema

The Drink
Haestrom Sunrise
3 oz peach schnapps
Orange Juice
Grenadine

In a pint glass with ice, add schnapps & OJ. Throw on a splash of grenadine, don't stir.

The Drinking Game
Drink every time we see a Quarian either dead or being killed.

The Episode
We snag both Jody and Jack's loyalty missions. Thane has old timey consumption. Also we pop over to a hosed up sun in Geth territory and save Tali from being horribly murdered due to the Admiralty's incompetence recruit Tali.

This whole plotline was supposed to be the big kicker for the plot/ending of 3. The dark energy created by using mass effect fields is causing suns to go haywire, speeding up the heat death of the universe or some such poo poo. People ferreted this out and instead of sticking with it, in a fit of pique it got dropped in favor of lots of speculation. So in 2 they make a big deal about it, bring it up several times, and then when 3 rolls around it's never mentioned again.

Haestrom is bad for your shields, and any Quarian operation involving the Geth always turns into a bloodbath on the Quarian side so of course all but one of them (other than Tali) die. You'd think after 300 years they'd stop sticking their dicks in the hornets' nest, but nope. Kal'Reegar is a pretty cool dude though. And we show off the best goddamn weapon in the series, hands down. I once used it against the Oculus in the cargo hold for shits and giggles. Killed the Oculus all right, plus me and both my squadmates from the splash damage. A++, would launch again.

I'm going to recruit the last name on our dossier list then start working on loyalty missions/side content. Like ME1 I'm not bothering to show off 90% of the filler. I'll do LotSB before long, but I'm saving Arrival and probably Overlord until post-game, unless people really want to see the latter sooner.

e: gently caress there's some audio desync in there, fixes itself later on. This goddamn thing :argh:

The Space Ozone Layer plotline didn't make a lot of sense anyway, why do the Reapers need more GPUs, why not just wipe out life and continue space calculus, etc. It's not like the answer the writers came up with in ME3 is a lot better but this reminds me of that episode of Star Trek:The Next Generation where running the warp drives is destroying the galaxy, but the writers forgot about it in the next episode because it would make a very boring series otherwise.

The right side is the objectively correct way to approach the Colossus, there's also a little nest you didn't show off (kind of near where Thane sits once he starts shooting Geth again) where you can happily fire at the Colossus between reloads and it will never try to self-repair.

grack
Jan 10, 2012

COACH TOTORO SAY REFEREE CAN BANISH WHISTLE TO LAND OF WIND AND GHOSTS!
Just stand two feet to the left and fire the Cain at the ground behind the Colossus. It'll just keep firing in to the pillar and it still gets blasted in one hit from the splash damage.

Poil
Mar 17, 2007

monster on a stick posted:

this reminds me of that episode of Star Trek:The Next Generation where running the warp drives is destroying the galaxy, but the writers forgot about it in the next episode because it would make a very boring series otherwise.
I thought that it was just one overly sensitive star system being destroyed by it. :shrug:

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:
Haestrom is a part of the abandoned Dark Matter plotline, the idea being that the star burned out faster because Dark Matter etc. etc.

The TNG Plot was actually referenced. In later episodes they need authorization from starfleet to go to higher speeds than warp 5, and the reason why Voyager has the weird bendy nacelles is to change the shape of the warp field so it will still engulf the ship, but any ripples beyond that would be broken up by the competing patterns.

Why are we spoilering 90s era star trek again?

Kurieg fucked around with this message at 16:23 on Aug 5, 2016

Zopotantor
Feb 24, 2013

...und ist er drin dann lassen wir ihn niemals wieder raus...

Thesaya posted:

Video is not available?

Are you in Germany? If so it might be bloody GEMA again (but yesterday evening it was still working for me).

Poil
Mar 17, 2007

Kurieg posted:

Why are we spoilering 90s era star trek again?
Because it would be weird to unspoiler tag part of the post I quoted. Things got confusing in my head.

Thesaya
May 17, 2011

I am a Plant.

Zopotantor posted:

Are you in Germany? If so it might be bloody GEMA again (but yesterday evening it was still working for me).

Nope, am on mobile though, so that might be why. Will try once I get my computer from the shop in a few days.

SubponticatePoster
Aug 9, 2004

Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.
Slippery Tilde
Next Update's Ingredients:
Vodka
Club soda
Blue curaco
Half & Half

Poil
Mar 17, 2007

I can't remember if I've already asked this, but what exactly is a half & half? Half booze half liquor? :v:

Atomikus
Jun 4, 2010

Muncie? Muncie! MUNCIE!
It's milk/cream with 12.5% fat. It's called coffee cream or half cream in some places.

bman in 2288
Apr 21, 2010

Atomikus posted:

It's milk/cream with 12.5% fat. It's called coffee cream or half cream in some places.

It does not go well in making chocolate milk.

Not at all.

Poil
Mar 17, 2007

Too fat?

Atomikus posted:

It's milk/cream with 12.5% fat. It's called coffee cream or half cream in some places.
Cool, thanks. :)

EponymousMrYar
Jan 4, 2015

The enemy of my enemy is my enemy.
It can clot a little like cream. That's why. The rest is it being too thick to drink on it's own.

Also, Half&Half + Club Soda (or any sort of carbonated water) + flavoring syrup = an italian soda. If only half & half kept longer :argh:

SubponticatePoster
Aug 9, 2004

Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.
Slippery Tilde

bman in 2288 posted:

It does not go well in making chocolate milk.

Not at all.
I disagree with this, but you can audibly hear your arteries clogging afterwards.

EponymousMrYar posted:

It can clot a little like cream. That's why. The rest is it being too thick to drink on it's own.

Also, Half&Half + Club Soda (or any sort of carbonated water) + flavoring syrup = an italian soda. If only half & half kept longer :argh:
If you're a person of the American persuasion, get Darigold H&H from Costco. It's ultra pasteurized and that poo poo will literally keep for months. I buy it in the half-gallon size to use in my coffee (since, y'know, Costco) and I've never had it go bad before I finished it.

SubponticatePoster
Aug 9, 2004

Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.
Slippery Tilde

A great biotic wind

The Drink
Justicarbomb
2 oz vodka
1.5 oz blue curaco
Club soda
Half and half

Prior to mixing, chill the vodka in the freezer for 2 hours; refrigerate the club soda. In a pint glass mix the vodka and club soda. Put the curaco in a shot glass and drop it in. Top off with H&H. The ideal way to drink it is to use a straw - put it in the shot glass and pull the straw up through the layers when you drink for a nice flavor mixture.

Simple version: Uh, I guess put some vodka in blue koolaid.

The drinking game
Drink whenever someone says "justicar" or "code." Godspeed.

The Episode
We bop back to Illium and go looking for an Asari samurai/ronin. Everyone is freaking out because Justicars apparently kill even more people in everyday encounters than we do and since Illium is kind of rules-free there are lots of opportunities for shooting. Also someone murdered a bowling ball. We meet a cop who's too old for this poo poo in a bit of a dilemma and by recruiting Samara we can get her off the hook so she's willing to help out.

After a short fight we meet Samara who is dramatically trying to extract information from the mercs. The repeating problem of the oversexualized Asari crops up and this monastic warrior is basically a MILF who runs around in high heels showing more cleavage than you can shake a stick at. Bad presentation aside I like Samara's VA. If we can get the name of the ship her target left on then we can skip the unpleasantness of a reenactment of the police station scene in the first Terminator movie.

We kill all the mercs (except one), blow up a gunship, and set a stoned volus up for failure. However we get the info we need and Samara swears a glowy oath to follow us. If you go renegade in your playthrough she doesn't try to kill you but she sure doesn't like you by the end.

Now we've got all the dossiers taken care of we'll get one forced plot mission but otherwise it's all loyalties from here on out.

Poil
Mar 17, 2007

Isn't skipping the shield upgrade a good thing, considering the consequence? :v:

That outfit is stupid... stomach cleavage. Almost as stupid as the code that forces the "good" and "noble" justicar to murder a lot of cops. Speaking of cleavage, it's even dumber once you realize people tend to do things in the direction they are looking so if they're staring at her blue tits they'll also be shooting at the part the lovely excuse for armor doesn't cover.

Poil fucked around with this message at 16:49 on Aug 15, 2016

Psion
Dec 13, 2002

eVeN I KnOw wHaT CoRnEr gAs iS
I saw a photoshop or mod where all they did was fill in the chestplate and it makes Samara look way more awesome. I'll try to dig it up somewhere, but it was so simple. like, two minutes with the fill tool. It's just a total disconnect from character to outfit - real :rolleyes: stuff. I think even the VA (she did face capture too, right?) was like "ummm remember I just did VA and face, not uh, the rest" at first.

Poil: yeah the whole "so the Code means you don't get to stop me" wasn't perfectly executed, but I took it more of "you and I both know there's no reason for you to do this other than corrupt interests from on high" with unfortunate consequences for the poor cop having to follow orders. As in, it's not so much the Justicar Code at fault as the problem of applying a black and white morality on Blue Noveria Planet. The cop more or less says as much.

SubponticatePoster
Aug 9, 2004

Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.
Slippery Tilde
There's really a whole lot of stupid going on in the background with this mission. Pitne For is a smuggler, but you don't need to smuggle poo poo into Nos Astra. Get a goddamn license, even the Minagen would probably be fine if you hired those two ladies in the transport hub to write your waiver. That aside, Samara knows poo poo involves Pitne For, so get him to flip on the Eclipse, get a warrant and arrest everyone in the hideout. And Anaya could just tell her superiors "gently caress you, I ain't detaining a Justicar. Fired is better than dead."

grimlock_master
Nov 1, 2013

Fuck you, suzie

SubponticatePoster posted:

There's really a whole lot of stupid going on in the background with this mission. Pitne For is a smuggler, but you don't need to smuggle poo poo into Nos Astra. Get a goddamn license, even the Minagen would probably be fine if you hired those two ladies in the transport hub to write your waiver. That aside, Samara knows poo poo involves Pitne For, so get him to flip on the Eclipse, get a warrant and arrest everyone in the hideout. And Anaya could just tell her superiors "gently caress you, I ain't detaining a Justicar. Fired is better than dead."

This is Mass Effect though, the galaxy where Everybody Is Stupid But Shepard

Psion
Dec 13, 2002

eVeN I KnOw wHaT CoRnEr gAs iS

grimlock_master posted:

This is Mass Effect though, the galaxy where Everybody Is Stupid But Shepard

yeah fundamentally as much as I want to try and handwave it, this is true. if people could be competent, there'd be no point in Shepard solving everyone's problems so they join up. Just sometimes the cracks don't show as hard as this mission.


Psion fucked around with this message at 18:43 on Aug 15, 2016

grack
Jan 10, 2012

COACH TOTORO SAY REFEREE CAN BANISH WHISTLE TO LAND OF WIND AND GHOSTS!
Imagine how powerful Samara could be if she didn't expend all that energy keeping her boobs in place.

ManlyGrunting
May 29, 2014
I've played Vanguard and I will not stand by your poo-pooing of the Claymore. :colbert:

(Though I did play completely sans DLC, so I never did get the GPS).

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous
Please tell me that the Asari isn't a potential love interest. That "anything?" conversation option ticks off my BIOWARE alarm.

BravestOfTheLamps
Oct 12, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Lipstick Apathy
She isn't.

If the player goes for it she blueballs them. I am so sorry for that.

grack
Jan 10, 2012

COACH TOTORO SAY REFEREE CAN BANISH WHISTLE TO LAND OF WIND AND GHOSTS!

BravestOfTheLamps posted:

If the player goes for it she blueballs them. I am so sorry for that.

You are absolutely not sorry for this and you know it.

FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

The red sand isn't an issue, but the biotic/poison bioweapon nonsense on that manifest might actually be illegal.
Best explanation I can come up with anyway.

Fish Noise
Jul 25, 2012

IT'S ME, BURROWS!

IT WAS ME ALL ALONG, BURROWS!

grack posted:

Imagine how powerful Samara could be if she didn't expend all that energy keeping her boobs in place.
So this is the biotic equivalent of training wearing weights?

hard counter
Jan 2, 2015





BravestOfTheLamps posted:

If the player goes for it she blueballs them. I am so sorry for that.

If the player goes for it in ME2 and then meets some other obscure criteria in ME3 she finally gives in during the Citadel DLC.

Nobody can resist Shepard forever

SubponticatePoster
Aug 9, 2004

Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.
Slippery Tilde

ManlyGrunting posted:

I've played Vanguard and I will not stand by your poo-pooing of the Claymore. :colbert:

(Though I did play completely sans DLC, so I never did get the GPS).
Claymore's problem is the poo poo-tier ammo count. Also I almost never use it because when I get the option to specialize I usually take a sniper if I don't have one. Take that, unchargeable targets!

DukeofCA
Aug 18, 2011

I am shocked and appalled.
I like how the elevator to the super-secret mercenary base is right behind the police station.

EponymousMrYar
Jan 4, 2015

The enemy of my enemy is my enemy.

Psion posted:

yeah fundamentally as much as I want to try and handwave it, this is true. if people could be competent, there'd be no point in Shepard solving everyone's problems so they join up. Just sometimes the cracks don't show as hard as this mission.
It doesn't help that the stupid is double-downed here with the 'Black and White Code vs. Everything is Different Shades of Grey Reality' they were going for with the whole situation.
On the plus side, it's really easy to translate to Star Wars and use it as another example of why Jedi are dumb :v:

Also Samara is smarter than the situation would imply (and her VA sells her very well.) Most of the dumbness in the above situation can be pinned on the code rather than her. That of course begs the question of why she would want to follow it in the first place, but hey, the strangest people can end up in monastic orders for the weirdest reasons.

SubponticatePoster posted:

Claymore's problem is the poo poo-tier ammo count. Also I almost never use it because when I get the option to specialize I usually take a sniper if I don't have one. Take that, unchargeable targets!
A problem easily solved by shoving it in Grunts hands and having it never leave. Or any other allies for that matter, but I think only Grunt can get it too.

FoolyCharged posted:

The red sand isn't an issue, but the biotic/poison bioweapon nonsense on that manifest might actually be illegal.
Best explanation I can come up with anyway.
It can also help establish a motive, even though Elnora's not gonna get put through a court so that's moot.
Main way I see it is that even if normally-illegal stuff is legal on Illium, there's still a bunch of rules to follow and Pitne For has probably broken/bended those rules considering he sold toxic biotic god drugs to the Eclipse in the first place. I mean, you don't want a supply of red sand laced with BIOTIC GODLYNESS to get onto the market, it's bad for business.

DeusExMachinima
Sep 2, 2012

:siren:This poster loves police brutality, but only when its against minorities!:siren:

Put this loser on ignore immediately!

SubponticatePoster posted:

If we can get the name of the ship her target left on then we can skip the unpleasantness of a reenactment of the police station scene in the first Terminator movie.

Fun fact: the ship's name, Demeter, is a Dracula reference.

Also IIRC you can find a text log written by Elnora where she talks about killing people for the mercs and loving it. So she kinda played you. :v:

grack
Jan 10, 2012

COACH TOTORO SAY REFEREE CAN BANISH WHISTLE TO LAND OF WIND AND GHOSTS!
I always, always, kill Elnora because that Renegade interrupt is funny as hell.

monster on a stick
Apr 29, 2013

hard counter posted:

If the player goes for it in ME2 and then meets some other obscure criteria in ME3 she finally gives in during the Citadel DLC.

Nobody can resist Shepard forever


But then she doesn't get together with Zaeed.

YOTC
Nov 18, 2005
Damn stupid newbie
Since it comes up at the start of this mission kinda, I hope you take Garus on Mordin's mission. Best lines.

As for Samara, I like to think she COULD just go All Judge Dread and start "arresting" the corrupt cops in her way but knows it's not the right way to do things. Also she's old enough to see Shepard as an excellent way to meditate and take a break for A few hours while she lets that young human whipper snapper deal with this poo poo.

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Thesaya
May 17, 2011

I am a Plant.
Subpont, I was going to let this be until my laptop charger arrived but since it'ststill lost in the mail and the latest episode works on mobile, would you mind going back and check why the previous one lists as "not available"?

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