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I remember the SS13 server was on the brink of some sort of patch that would cut down on a ton of the lag a few months ago, but it kept running into snags or something? Did that ever come around or did I dream the whole thing
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Aug 12, 2016 04:05
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Detective Buttfuck posted:I remember the SS13 server was on the brink of some sort of patch that would cut down on a ton of the lag a few months ago, but it kept running into snags or something? Did that ever come around or did I dream the whole thing Yes it did and it worked extremely well at killing off a fair bit of the general lag. To everyone's surprise.
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Aug 12, 2016 04:13
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I feel like space station 13 being a broken loving mess that no one can truly fix without breaking it even worse is completely in the spirit of space station 13
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Aug 12, 2016 04:22
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Space station 13 is so goddamn broken that someone has now mistaken it for star citizen. Ponder that.
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Aug 12, 2016 04:25
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Digirat posted:Space station 13 is so goddamn broken that someone has now mistaken it for star citizen. Ponder that. Let's not go crazy. It is a funny comparison though. SS13 is a mess because it has so drat much stuff and is programmed by what I've been told is the monkey and typewriter approach, whereas SC is even more of a mess even though it has next to nothing.
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Aug 12, 2016 04:41
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Bushmaori posted:Let's not go crazy. From what I understand, SS13 is built on a lovely engine with a crap coding language, and is largely forged into a working game out of sheer spite and hatred.
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Aug 12, 2016 04:55
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BYOND, the game engine, was originally built for anime rp games for teenagers to badly typefuck at each other. SS13 was originally an atmospheric gas pressure simulator. Then goons found it, and it turned into a game where you can beat a man to the ground with his own severed rear end, then finish the job by injecting his eyeballs with a mixture of his own vomit and the vomit of others. Also, sometimes there are clowns. The admin staff who oversee this sorry mess are almost unanimously former terrorists of the game with at least one well loved feature nerfed or removed outright based on their actions (mine is chemistry grenades, large beakers though they did eventually return, and foamsmoke reactions. I am also the guy behind The Triplepiss Gambit.) It's a horrible terrible game for horrible terrible people, and I love it so loving much.
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Aug 12, 2016 06:08
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PopeCrunch posted:BYOND, the game engine, was originally built for anime rp games for teenagers to badly typefuck at each other. SS13 was originally an atmospheric gas pressure simulator. Then goons found it, and it turned into a game where you can beat a man to the ground with his own severed rear end, then finish the job by injecting his eyeballs with a mixture of his own vomit and the vomit of others. Also, sometimes there are clowns. I have no idea what this Triplepiss Gambit thing is, and would very much appreciate story time.
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Aug 12, 2016 06:13
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Oh god OK. So back in the deeps of time before I became an admin, there was a very powerful poison in the game called initropidril, and very few people knew how to make it. Through a combination of experimentation, bribery, skulduggery, and drunken inventiveness, I figured it out. Unfortunately, word got out that I had the recipe, and I was constantly harassed every round with at best whining pleas and at worst murder threats. To get people off my rear end about it, I told them that the coders had implemented something called fluid tracking, and this was key. What they needed to do was piss in a cup, drink it, piss again, drink THAT, and when they pissed again it would be triplepiss. It would still be named piss, but trust me it's actually triplepiss. This bought me a few days until they figured out it didn't work, and the harassment started anew. Oh, I said, it only works if you have b positive blood. For weeks afterwards, whoever rolled captain that round would beeline for medbay, scour the medical records, and then corner some poor assistant in a maintenance tunnel somewhere and force them at gunpoint to drink their own urine. I still get asked about it sometimes.
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Aug 12, 2016 06:30
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I am still not convinced that ss13 is not just a running goon joke wherein people just make upnthe weirdest poo poo
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Aug 12, 2016 06:34
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We tried that. The stuff we made up as bullshit glitches or features just sort of - appeared in the code shortly after and it wasn't immediately clear who added it. At this point we're sort of afraid to lie about it. Edit to add that it's not like we think the game doesn't like being lied about. We're scared shitless of giving it ideas.
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Aug 12, 2016 06:44
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SergZpartan posted:A real standout is the "Solarium" the actual "Ending" for SS13, one step involves bringing several objects to the titular solarium, at which point an object called "SS13 server" appears. Goons being goons of course commenced to destroy the in-game server, causing the actual server to crash. One of the LP's caught this if I remember correctly. The Solarium is ridiculously hard to pull off. In that LP, they ended up cheating because a player who had a required item died on some remote planet. There are about five items you need, most of which are in deadly mazes locked behind teleporter puzzles or bosses that appear in random sectors. When they completed everything and realized they were missing something, the admin, who had taken control of a popular NPC named lovely Bill earlier, spawned in the missing item and had Bill point at it. I think the best part of that whole event was the person running the teleporter told any pubbies who weren't part of the coordinated effort to go get some treasure from Mars with the expectation that they would all die. They ended up having a really successful adventure themselves entirely separate from the Solarium shenanigans.
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Aug 12, 2016 08:45
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dpbjinc posted:The Solarium is ridiculously hard to pull off. In that LP, they ended up cheating because a player who had a required item died on some remote planet. There are about five items you need, most of which are in deadly mazes locked behind teleporter puzzles or bosses that appear in random sectors. When they completed everything and realized they were missing something, the admin, who had taken control of a popular NPC named lovely Bill earlier, spawned in the missing item and had Bill point at it. Oh, I remember that one from the thread. iirc, it wasn't cheating so much as the guy holding the item lagged out and stepped into magma by accident, instantly melting him and all his belongings. The admins took pity and spawned a replacement item because they'd done really well and it was the only one left.
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Aug 12, 2016 09:10
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And I thought the insane stories Dwarf Fortress produced were bonkers. A killer sandwich that crashed multiple servers though? Like, how does that even happen? Was it pulling a "Wreck it Ralph" and escaping from one game to another? Or is SS13 a MMORPG kinda deal?
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Aug 12, 2016 10:46
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Drunken Baker posted:And I thought the insane stories Dwarf Fortress produced were bonkers. The crashwich is the result of what is know as Fractal Cooking. This occurs when you use a crafted food recipe to make the same food recipe again. For example; an Apple Pie Pie (A pie made with an Apple Pie as the filling). The more
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Aug 12, 2016 11:07
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Drunken Baker posted:
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Aug 12, 2016 11:14
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Lunchmeat Larry posted:it was only one server, but they're all hosted by the same guy so I wouldn't put it past something in this game to upset one of those servers so much that it has a knock-on effect on the others, but that's because I don't really understand computers Yeah, in that case there's a good chance that many of the individual game-servers (i.e. instances of the game's server executable) run concurrently on the same physical machine. So if one of those instances breaks badly enough to cause the whole machine to lock up, you could totally see all the servers that run on the same machine die at the same time just because of a single rogue dairy product.
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Aug 12, 2016 11:54
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The worst thing about SS13 is that everyone wants to have their own 'that one story' and try way too loving hard. Strange as it might be I've always had the most fun as a grey shirt or whatever you'd call generic maintenence staff since nobody gives a poo poo about you and it's easy to take a back seat and watch things unfold.
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Aug 12, 2016 12:51
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I always enjoyed SS13 stories and have read a ton of them, though I only ever made one very brief attempt to play years ago. Emboldened by the news in here that the lag problem was fixed, I loaded it up to try it out. Apparently something I had picked up was suspicious for my job, so the AI sent out a warning over the PA about it, meanwhile I'd found a saxophone and was happily spamming Careless Whisper while trying to figure out the Quartermaster console. So eventually what I'm assuming was a guard comes by and while totally fumbling around with the controls I accidentally wack them a couple of times. They blind and handcuff me and drag me back to another person where they ask what to do. The last thing I see is the other guy saying "I have an idea" and he starts to choke me out...everything goes mostly black as I vaguely sense them dragging me off to another room until one brief terrifying moment of clarity where I awake to them slicing open my neck with a scalpel, followed by them completely decapitating me with a circular saw. Justice is harsh in space.
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Aug 12, 2016 12:53
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Whatever happened to the updated 3D version that was being made? Did they give up or what?
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Aug 12, 2016 13:35
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Honestly, my favorite story in SS13 is remarkably straightforward. I've been running a MiniStation map for an IRC server I'm on for a while now, and I usually pick up Engineer. I've determined that the most efficient way to get MiniStation's little heat-difference engine working is to turn the entirety of Engineering into an ultra-high-pressure, continuously-exploding plasma bomb. It works really, really well unless someone decides to try and figure out how the thing is SUPPOSED to work or tries to restore the original configuration and only ends up something something original conflagration.
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Aug 12, 2016 13:51
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The most fun I've had in SS13 was as a traitor AI watching the chaos unfold. I didn't actually do anything besides open a few doors at the wrong time or cut the power to the wrong parts, maybe alert someone to someone else doing something (or lying about it). No one noticed because they were busy destroying the station themselves. I even helped keep everyone alive by activating the solar panels when the engine inevitably was bombed and blew up half the station. I won entirely because everyone else was a lunatic (I think my goal was to get the captain killed or something). 
RBA Starblade has a new favorite as of 14:29 on Aug 12, 2016 |
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Aug 12, 2016 14:15
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Someone needs to go dig up the commit logs for SS13 again, those things are the best. (pretty sure by volume that "gently caress" is around 1/3 of it)
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Aug 12, 2016 14:28
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My favourite SS13 story is the one about the clown bots (or clones?). I don't remember details, just an intercom with someone talking interspersed with 'HONK' replacing every other word.
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Aug 12, 2016 15:04
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I went to the SS13 thread through the link on the last page and it crashed my browser. Seems fitting.
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Aug 12, 2016 15:04
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theshim posted:Someone needs to go dig up the commit logs for SS13 again, those things are the best. quote:Assassination objectives were broken to always return successful because quote:This might or might not fix issues that do or do not exist quote:I cannot win. quote:im coder quote:I think this bug reporter is just inept but I'm going to poke the surgery tools anyway because the entire codebase is sure prone of inane butterfly effect bullshit and touching some hat code could conceivably cause the stapler to stop working if it's a Thursday and the user has been drinking milk. quote:Did you know mass-producing ore accumulators and then sticking thousands of material items in the middle so you can have some kind of bizarre gravity toilet going on will gently caress the server to death? Neither did I, because WHO loving DOES THAT quote:MONKEYS SHOULD NOT SCREAM LIKE MEN quote:Monkeys were invisible when fried again, quote:Every morning when I arise from my terrible, apocalyptic nightmare-wracked slumber of unutterable evil, it is the thought of AngriestIBM's absolute and total misery that compels me to rise. It is the thousand-yard stare, a stare born of abject horror and visceral experiences not withstood by any other in this epoch, that I crave.
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Aug 12, 2016 15:10
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quote:MONKEYS SHOULD NOT SCREAM LIKE MEN Agreed, Charlton Heston.
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Aug 12, 2016 15:13
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Morpheus posted:My favourite SS13 story is the one about the clown bots (or clones?). I don't remember details, just an intercom with someone talking interspersed with 'HONK' replacing every other word. Angry Diplomat's writing makes SS13 stories even better, and the fact that StephanosRex read it is more amazing still 
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Aug 12, 2016 15:20
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Another favorite SS13 story of mine: Used to be that a traitor could get a cloak and an e-sword, or similar strong melee weapon, and just go on a rampage, prolonging the round until literally everyone was dead. One player was notorious for doing this, and had begun his rampage when another traitor decided to step up the plate. This traitor was a Mechanic, and the Mechanic's special traitor option is a gadget that lets them scan and replicate ANY piece of machinery on the station. So they replicated the grinder. Next, they bought an object cloaker, and turned that grinder invisible. Finally, they recruited the Janitor to wipe down the floor leading to the invisible grinder with Space Lube. The crowd of SS13 workers huddled in the escape hallway, knowing that if their plan failed, it would mean wholesale slaughter before the escape shuttle arrived. They heard the sound of an e-sword turning on, and collectively gasped. Then a pile of gibs and blood shot out of a seemingly empty square, and the day was saved by a traitor Mechanic who... immediately got beaten and tossed out of an airlock by Security for being a traitor.
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Aug 12, 2016 16:08
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theshim posted:You are thinking of https://soundcloud.com/stephanosrex/honk-honk-butt Honk Honk Butt will be now and forever the surest way to make me smile. I wish he would do a reading of The DoomPeel, which is also a favorite
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Aug 12, 2016 16:36
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My favorite little thing about SS13 is that it is a game of nothing but other peoples' favorite little things. That's the reason it's such a mess; it's Feature Creep, the Game. And it's glorious.
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Aug 12, 2016 17:22
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theshim posted:You are thinking of https://soundcloud.com/stephanosrex/honk-honk-butt Oh man I don't know how I forgot about the BUTT's interspersed in there.
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Aug 12, 2016 17:23
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Shady Amish Terror posted:My favorite little thing about SS13 is that it is a game of nothing but other peoples' favorite little things. That's the reason it's such a mess; it's Feature Creep, the Game. And it's glorious. Except poo and pee being removed. I know that people were legit mad about that at first. Or did they ever add that back in? Its been years since I played.
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Aug 12, 2016 17:24
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Unless it's happened very recently (I haven't been playing lately either), no, they're still gone; I think maybe it's possible to generate urine, but it actually required drinking a fair amount last I knew, so it wasn't coating every surface every round like before. The tantrums people threw over those being removed were legendary; I didn't mind their existence as much as some, but it's kind of incredible how many people would spend hours every day coating everything in feces and never have that get old for them. Actually, the tantrums players throw everytime something's changed was perhaps my second favorite little thing. Secret chemical being brewed every round to terrorize the station? Well let's just change the recipe a little and- "ALL ADMINS ARE GAY HITLERS DIE DIE DIE" It was surprisingly consistent. Also, the people who spent, in some cases, months evading bans repeatedly.
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Aug 12, 2016 17:33
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Tracula posted:Except poo and pee being removed. I know that people were legit mad about that at first. Or did they ever add that back in? Its been years since I played. Actually, hardly anybody noticed at first. People were getting gross and weird about poo and pee, so we decided to remove them. In the past, people really complained when a pointless feature that didn't even work right was removed. as an experiment, I suggested we keep the removal a secret this time. Only a few people noticed. When we announced what we had done though, there was endless complaints about it.
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Aug 12, 2016 17:36
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Pee wasn't removed? I peed in a glass and threw it at someone the other day Poo was removed like three years ago though, just before I started playing Lunchmeat Larry has a new favorite as of 18:13 on Aug 12, 2016 |
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Aug 12, 2016 18:09
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My favourite story involved poo. Tactical poo usage, not just making GBS threads and drawing on the walls everywhere which all the wierdos did  I was a traitor Janitor (I believe I had some kind of gibbing zamboni or something, this is back in Mushroom Station days) that ended up getting caught. I demanded that I still had the right to a fair trial and the Captain and Security were cool enough to organise a public trial. While I was in the Security office, handcuffed and stripped bare I asked if I could have some donuts. They were nice enough to share while they set up an execution chamber. Eventually I was called out and pushed down the hall and into the public-viewable makeshift execution chamber. As I was walking into the room I poo poo on the floor, the Captain was following right behind me and ends up slipping in the poo infront of the crew. I start a short Scooby-Do chase around the room with a poo-stained Captain until I'm eventually caught and choked out by an angry poo-stained Captain.
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Aug 12, 2016 18:21
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Out of context SS13 posts are my favorite posts.
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Aug 12, 2016 18:25
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PYF little things in games: Tactical poo usage, not just making GBS threads and drawing on the walls
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Aug 12, 2016 18:42
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Croccers posted:My favourite story involved poo. Tactical poo usage, not just making GBS threads and drawing on the walls everywhere which all the wierdos did There is a significantchance this was me, as I vaguely remember this and being pissed for three rounds
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Aug 12, 2016 19:04
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