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GlitchThief posted:Well I'm back into being hype about the idea of destroying my life and moving to Croatia. Good luck fulfilling the requirements to move there. I don't know what they are but I guarantee you, it's not as easy as you think.
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Aug 16, 2016 01:13
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Good luck ASF, I'm rooting for you.
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Aug 16, 2016 01:13
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Good luck ASF and thanks for this thread
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Aug 16, 2016 01:43
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Good luck A SWEATY FATBEARD and I hope you get the hope you need. I've enjoyed your stories and I'm sure you'll still be incredibly weird after, just healthy mentally.
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Aug 16, 2016 01:47
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redreader posted:I don't know what they are but I guarantee you, it's not as easy as you think. Yeah, this!  You need to have a job lined up before you can even think about applying for citizenship. This means that you should not only be able to fluently speak Croatian but also possessing some sort of higher education which would've made you competitive on the job market. Well heck, our system demands immigrants to do the unthinkable; actually becoming a productive member of this society instead of being an unemployable piece of human trash whose only purpose in life is to suck on the proverbial government's teat, using the money to buy bling bling and those scratch-off lottery tickets. Croatia is notorious amongst refugees as "the place where you DO NOT want to end up", because of our zero tolerance for bullshit, limited economic potential, high unemployment, stiff deportation laws and a deep-rooted distrust of Muslims and dindus (yeah we too are very fond of removing kebab but that's another story.) Let me tell you about an incident which took place a few years ago in the Adriatic sea. I think Gaddaffi was still alive when this happened, but I'm not really sure - and it doesn't really matter. Our coastal guard caught a boat packed with around a hundred refugees or so out in the open sea of the southern Adriatic; they were marooned there since the motor on their boat crapped out, they couldn't get it running again and they have been dead in the water for a number of days before our guys encountered them. Coastal guard attempted to tie the refugee boat and bring it under tow to Dubrovnik - but the refugees literally mutinied, saying that they'd rather be left on the open seas, hoping for some sort of miracle, wind or sea current to maybe, just maybe, push them towards Italy where they'd have a guaranteed place to stay. The chance of this happening was astronomically small, at first they refused to allow our guys to tow them, but the captain eventually had to agree to be towed to Dubrovnik, much to the chagrin of every refugee on that boat - meaning that their daring trip across the Mediterranean was going to end up in an abject failure. They were towed to Dubrovnik, the doctors examined everyone that was aboard that ship, and as little as three days later all of those people were deported and permanently banned from reentry into Croatia. We have zero tolerance for immigrant bullshit, and seeing all the chaos these people are brewing in the West, as much as I don't like our right-wing politicians, I have to agree that there is some logic in their stance.
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Aug 16, 2016 02:44
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GAY 4 ORGANS
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I really don't know why I'm surprised that you're a piece of poo poo racist, you're Croatian after all. 
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Aug 16, 2016 09:44
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burexas.irom posted:I really don't know why I'm surprised that you're a piece of poo poo racist, you're Croatian after all. See what I meant when I said that I have no common sense? For real, though, I honestly don't have a problem with refugees. Let's not forget how many people temporarily expatriated from Croatia during the war in the 90s - many eventually chose to permanently stay in Germany since they've rebuilt their lives there and that's fine. But every time some refugee does something stupid - which is bound to happen due to the fact that refugees are human beings after all and humans tend to gently caress Up - their whole group ends up being accused of terrorism, rape, theft, etc and that's sad (but probably inevitable.) It would be extremely hypocritical to say that Croats living in Germany are a-ok, all while frothing at the mouth over the fact that a small trickle of Syrians are moving here in order to escape the violence in their home country, and, simply avoid getting killed. I won't dwell long on this quasi-racist poo poo, 4chan is being absurdly racist for the sake of comedy and I kinda forgot that I'm not on 4chan. Another thing, I used to be extremely afraid of the Jews. I didn't hate jews, I was simply afraid of them! Back in 2004 or so, I met a Jewish girl who was really into anime and we quickly became good friends. When she said that she's Jewish, I had a meltdown because I felt that "the Jews are plotting my demise", despite the fact that the whole idea was almost cartoonishly stupid. I ended up changing my phone number after I had a series of panic attacks whenever she'd try to phone me. It's a very nice example of prodromal 'phrenia.  It was extremely bizarre and it later became one of main reasons I chose to go into therapy - in those days I had even less introspection of my mental state. Nothing makes sense since my god-damned brain is misfiring on all cylinders. Sorry if I offended someone with this, I realize that I posted garden-variety /pol/ poo poo that has no business being posted here.
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Aug 16, 2016 11:26
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Oh, and let's not forget the fact that Waldo is a Serb and as such, he has been mistreated by his corrupt and racist boss who isn't paying him in full, probably in some sort of misguided attempt to "get back" to the Serbs for all the wars. And what did I do about it? I repeatedly cut him slack, I was willing to go into extreme poverty so that he could keep his job and an apartment, culminating in the recent event where I wrote him off a massive debt he had accrued towards me. A racist would have made his life extremely difficult, yet, when all was said and done, I got a hug from him.  I will admit, however, that I like to talk poo poo because all the cool kids are doing it, and this is a very serious flaw of my character and persona. I tend to say one (negative) thing and then do the completely opposite thing in real life. Just ask Waldo. So much for my racism.
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Aug 16, 2016 12:16
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Don't sweat about it ASF. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, even idiots that think everyone is equal. Dubrovnik is an absolutely beautiful place, and I mean that.
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Aug 16, 2016 12:39
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The thing with the Jewish girl is interesting, do Croats have Jews as some kind of cultural bogeyman or was it completely baseless paranoia that never got any kind of reality check because you had literally never met any Jews? Also did you ever try to get back into contact with her or is that something that still makes you freak out?
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Aug 16, 2016 12:47
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lohli posted:The thing with the Jewish girl is interesting, do Croats have Jews as some kind of cultural bogeyman or was it completely baseless paranoia that never got any kind of reality check because you had literally never met any Jews? There was a Jewish girl in my high school class - she got sent back a year because she was one of those kids who'd bring beer to school instead of books, and drink the said beer during the classes. I shared a desk with her, she was nice as a person but dear sweet jesus was she dumb. Also she always smelled like ketchup for some reason - I was fine with that, I love ketchup but I don't understand how can you ALWAYS smell of the stuff, unless she literally never brushed her teeth or something?  She ended up flunking out of school entirely, flunking unbelivable eleven out of thirteen classes we had. A memorable event was when she seriously postulated that physical mail packages can be sent through a series of tubes between cities, which was rewarded with a roaring laughter and a failing grade.  I sometimes wonder what's she doing these days, officially she has only grade school diploma and I wonder what kind of a job you could land yourself with that. As far as my judeophobia is concerned, I was always pathologically afraid of a "big brother" type of entity running my life from the shadows. Today I know that this was simply my schizophrenia, but back in those innocent times I literally chose the Jews as a convenient scapegoat to blame all of my troubles onto, and this too is a run of the mill symptom of 'phrenia - Jews are in fact incredibly intelligent and capable people, and it's so impossibly easy to be afraid of them.
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Aug 16, 2016 13:13
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:A memorable event was when she seriously postulated that physical mail packages can be sent through a series of tubes between cities, which was rewarded with a roaring laughter and a failing grade. A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Oh, and let's not forget the fact that Waldo is a Serb and as such, he has been mistreated by his corrupt and racist boss who isn't paying him in full, probably in some sort of misguided attempt to "get back" to the Serbs for all the wars. And what did I do about it? I repeatedly cut him slack, I was willing to go into extreme poverty so that he could keep his job and an apartment, culminating in the recent event where I wrote him off a massive debt he had accrued towards me. A racist would have made his life extremely difficult, yet, when all was said and done, I got a hug from him. quote:I will admit, however, that I like to talk poo poo because all the cool kids are doing it, and this is a very serious flaw of my character and persona. I tend to say one (negative) thing and then do the completely opposite thing in real life. Just ask Waldo. So much for my racism.
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Aug 16, 2016 13:56
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Anne Whateley posted:Calling people "dindus" isn't "haha I spend too much time online but I'm great irl I swear." It's full-blown KKK/Stormfront. :tmyk: Hmmm. I think I picked up the word from ED. Had no idea that it's so volatile.
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Aug 16, 2016 14:24
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I associate it more with 4chan types trying to be offensive more than KKK/stormfront, but I think there's at least some overlap. It's a racist as hell term either way though.
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Aug 16, 2016 14:48
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Hmmm. I think I picked up the word from ED. Had no idea that it's so volatile. ED is part of that circle.
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Aug 16, 2016 14:50
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Kavak posted:ED is part of that circle. Uh, I know ED is being racist because it's a part of their comedic way of expression , but I didn't know this.  Thought it was something like Borat-style reductio ad absurdum.In a way, it's good that people have pointed this out right here in this thread, before I used the term elsewhere and in a potentially damaging moment. And if I remember correctly, it was this very thread in which I once used the term 'soap chimpout', misusing and completely missing the point of the term. This too had to be pointed out to me.
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Aug 16, 2016 15:11
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You just wrote that you're prejudiced against Muslims and refugees and that you fear Jews to a point of getting panic attacks in just a couple of posts, please stop and go to that looney bin to get better. If not for the sympathy you've built itt with your funny stories this thread would have been getting gassed by now and you'd be getting banned. That's why why people calmly explain the meaning behind your racist vocabulary as if you only made a couple of unfortunate typos and totally not had a full-blown anti-refugee meltdown. 'Sorry guys, I forgot I'm not on this super-racist website that I visit for laughs every day xoxo'
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Aug 16, 2016 15:21
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Well if you take out the literal schizoid weirdness about Jews you could pretty much draw a line Trieste-Vienna-Prague-Berlin and the vast majority of the population of Europe east of that line would agree almost entirely with ASF's comments. I mean he's wrong and being super racist but acting like its a totally out there opinion for Eastern Europe isn't correct either. Remember last summer had several countries building trump style walls along their borders to keep out the refugee flow. Obvious disclaimer, I don't agree with his views and don't even know what a dindus is.
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Aug 16, 2016 15:54
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gently caress. Just... ban me and gas this thread. I have nothing to say in my defense.
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Aug 16, 2016 16:12
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:gently caress. Actually you can just not say racist stuff
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Aug 16, 2016 16:37
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:gently caress. The fact that you're recognizing you're making some pretty awful statements is good news, because you can change the way you think! We have faith in you.
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Aug 16, 2016 16:54
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Saros posted:Well if you take out the literal schizoid weirdness about Jews you could pretty much draw a line Trieste-Vienna-Prague-Berlin and the vast majority of the population of Europe east of that line would agree almost entirely with ASF's comments. I mean he's wrong and being super racist but acting like its a totally out there opinion for Eastern Europe isn't correct either. Remember last summer had several countries building trump style walls along their borders to keep out the refugee flow. To be fair, those are pretty small countries who don't have economies that can support or absorb them, and who also have a pretty unpleasant history of Muslim occupation, which combined with horror stories about the failures of integration and the perceived state of the muslim world(where there is endless news about suicide bombings) makes the whole thing really unsurprising and not entirely unjustified. A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:gently caress. Goons are overblowing insincere jokey 4chan racism and overstating the overlap between the ED and /pol/ crowd's desperate attempts to be edgy with notorious sincere racists like the stormfront shitters. Though Poe's Law comes into effect here, and it's basically impossible to tell where the former ends and the latter begins, especially since the /pol/ crowd has gone completely off the deep-end as far as injecting that poo poo into every discussion is concerned. The Jew thing was pretty hosed up, you explained it reasonably well though, and it would be interesting to hear about whether or not you had made any progress on it or whether it got pushed to the side to focus on more serious poo poo, or whether treating other poo poo that had you prone to paranoia fixed it.
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Aug 16, 2016 17:43
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A/T: Ask me about my slow and painful journey of learning that the Jews don't actually steal my blood while I sleep
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Aug 16, 2016 17:47
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ASW, please treat your paranoia, I bet if you get that treated than your racism will disappear. Prejudice comes from fear and anger, and if you can process your own fear and anger than you'll be able to relate to other people in a humane fashion. You're not a bad dude but hanging out in toxic and negative communities like /pol/ only exacerbates your problems and reinforces a lot of unpleasant stuff you've been taught or absorbed. Please get medical help as quickly as you're able.
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Aug 16, 2016 17:53
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:gently caress. tbh I'm glad that when your racist views or vocabulary are pointed out to you your response is understanding and apologizing. But probably less time on 4chan couldn't hurt. If you're prone to paranoia then "ironic" racism probably isn't healthy. This is also true if you aren't prone to paranoia and just want to be a decent person.
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Aug 16, 2016 17:57
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Saros posted:Well if you take out the literal schizoid weirdness about Jews you could pretty much draw a line Trieste-Vienna-Prague-Berlin and the vast majority of the population of Europe east of that line would agree almost entirely with ASF's comments. I mean he's wrong and being super racist but acting like its a totally out there opinion for Eastern Europe isn't correct either. Remember last summer had several countries building trump style walls along their borders to keep out the refugee flow. However, intolerance towards Jews is not a socially accepted and normal stance even there. This can be dependant on the social/educational circles you find yourself in but still tolerant people aren't non-existing legendary creatures in Eastern Europe even if they do come in smaller numbers. It's a huge hyperbole to expect every Slav to be racist by default and you shouldn't be more understanding because of where the guy comes from. It's not an excuse especially considering that he's not stupid, speaks English fluently and has access to information. He's just another casual racist taking out his life frustration on a selected group of people with other losers like him to feel better for a minute. Sure he doesn't wave a Nazi flag and maybe would change if he stopped for a minute and think but he will absolutely go into a rant about how these brown people are all thieves and how every Muslim is a terrorist just like he did on this page. I won't judge somebody for browsing /pol/ or whatever but if you hang out there literally every day to have a great time joking about refugees being human garbage then you might be fooling yourself that it's all just harmless fun and that you're really not a racist.
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Aug 16, 2016 18:08
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Palpek posted:I won't judge somebody for browsing /pol/ or whatever but if you hang out there literally every day to have a great time joking about refugees being human garbage then you might be fooling yourself that it's all just harmless fun and that you're really not a racist. "Any community that gets its laughs by pretending to be idiots will eventually be flooded by actual idiots who mistakenly believe that they're in good company." - seems like a relevant statement, applicable to more than just a danger of people playing the jester for too long. quote:but he will absolutely go into a rant about how these brown people are all thieves and how every Muslim is a terrorist just like he did on this page Also Fatbeard that thing you said happened but it was quite a while after Gaddafi died and it was was rescued Syrian refugees refusing to get off the boat at Cyprus because they wanted to hit mainland Europe. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-29358265
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Aug 16, 2016 19:25
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lohli posted:"Any community that gets its laughs by pretending to be idiots will eventually be flooded by actual idiots who mistakenly believe that they're in good company." - seems like a relevant statement, applicable to more than just a danger of people playing the jester for too long. Pretty sure this is what happened to r/thedonald which I now know exists. gently caress me. Palpek posted:The thing is that I come from Eastern Europe and that poo poo can't be hand-waved by his country of origin. Sure that Eastern Europe is intolerant in comparison to the West and it loving sucks and the fear of refugees turned that poo poo to 11 - I won't argue against that. Yeah the Jew thing is very weird but he seems to have ID'd it as a schizo thing of some sort? I was actually pretty surprised by ASF's outburst because he always came off as very westernised, probably due to things like word choice from hanging out on too many US-centric forums. Aaannnyway this is a bit off topic, fatbeard consume more biperiden and attempt more non-racist schemes or something. Alternatively more crazy warehouse stories.
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Aug 16, 2016 19:34
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Religious delusions, paranoid beliefs, etc, re: psychosis are not just an American thing and religious minorities tend to trigger that poo poo hard around the world so ASF's experience sounds as normal as possible for his treatment and environmental background. v v Also, schizoid isn't schizophrenic, ffsASF: I'm glad you're getting help and continuing to grow, learn, exist and live, dude. Anne Whateley posted:Calling people "dindus" isn't "haha I spend too much time online but I'm great irl I swear." It's full-blown KKK/Stormfront. :tmyk: That's horseshit but okay - Plenty of newer 'edgy' internet sites use it as well as posted across YouTube, Twitter, etc, esp when 'trolling' civil rights protests/BLM/anti-police brutality content but I guess we can just assume that's all rooted in the KKK/Sotrmfront cryptoconspiracy to normalize racism on the internet before Trump nukes Israel or something, who the gently caress knows. (It's purestrain 4chan poo poo which anyone can figure out from a very basic Google search or interaction with the internet beyond SA.)
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Aug 16, 2016 21:50
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It's not purestrain 4chan, they didn't invent it. They imported it from Stormfront et al. where it's been a thing since at least the early 2000s. I think google doesn't index Stormfront and equally major hate sites for obvious reasons, but you can still see it showing up pre-2015 or whenever it went "mainstream." I don't think 4chan is trying to conspire or anything, I think the people who use it are racist as poo poo rather than just "edgy."
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Aug 16, 2016 22:09
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I've given the issue some thought, and I must say that I was surprised with what I realized about myself. Apparently, my self-loathing subconscious self is leaking into conscious. First of all, however, I need to say that pitying is one of the worst emotions a human being can share with another, who may or may not be in need of it. I must admit that I didn't fully understand this until I got sick, and I've been stuck in some sort of pitying Olympics in which people scrambled to express who's more sorry for me than the other contestants. I've had people literally chasing me around to give me money, though, this might have been a positive thing right then and there, but this pityfest soon became extremely annoying. I hate myself and I feel like I'm undeserving of life, been thinking that way for the most of my life. In fact, this self hatred goes as far to make me feel like I'm undeserving of a funeral and a grave - sometimes I wish I was a goldfish so you could flush me down the toilet and get it over with. I'd like my body to be recycled into alligator/bear food but that's probably not a realistic option. It's actually only a matter of time before I take my own life. The only factor that's still keeping me kicking around in this world is my grandma. She is about the only human being I can stand to look in the eyes without feeling threatened, immediately diverting my gaze. See, since I'm quite positive that I will eventually bring about my own demise, I realized that these pitying Olympics have an uncanny ability to haunt me from beyond the grave. When I finally kill myself, I bet there's gonna be a lot of moralists coming out of the woodwork who'd ask where did it all go so wrong, what could've been done differently and then playing the old blame game. Those same people would then do what they'd think it's the best - and it's once again, pitying. I am disgusted by this. My subconscious self seems to be trolling the conscious, mandating that I'd rather be remembered as a racist, thieving piece of poo poo who was undeserving of life and ultimately did what was right and killing himself, instead of beign a feeble minded autistic manchild who is terrified of the real world and couldn't bear the pain of life anymore. Towards that end, I don't want compassion, I'm used to hatred and it's about the only kind of emotion I can allow myself to feel. I'm about to drop a biggie. I was molested as a small child, which goes to explain quite a few things. It began when I was around seven, and lasted until I hit puberty. Even my therapist doesn't know this, as I'm very peculiar to whom I disclose this secret. In order to make myself less appealing, I completely abandoned personal hygiene - I showered MAYBE once a month, I had head lice and smelled so bad that I was repeatedly sent home from school to bathe, but I'd just douse myself in the local equivalent of Febreeze and keep on trucking. When the issue was brought up during the teacher-parent meeting, my mother would get aggressively defensive because someone dared to say anything against me, and I was mommy's very speshul babby who was always right. She also instructed me on how to hide the molestation so "those evil psychiatrists wouldn't get their paws on me again." Later on I nearly lost both of my big toes thanks to my mother, may she rot in hell. I've had a pair of untreated ingrown toenails which have abscessed, and I was eleven years when this took place. She postulated that "I didn't want to have it surgically fixed" because at 11, I was obviously mature enough to decide upon such things. All of this ended with an emergency surgery without anesthesia - and that was, like, jesus loving christ. The surgeon told me that I was like a week away from foot gangrene, the tissue was horribly inflamed, leaking green pus and other wonderful things. My big toes are pretty disfigured now. I had the epiphany this afternoon when I decided to sleep off my frustration / self-loathing a bit and allow for the emotions to settle down. It was a very important realization, I feel. Sure, there's nothing good about it, but now I at least know what went so horribly wrong. I honestly don't even know what launched me into a spitfest against minorities who are all but nonexistant in Croatia... which makes it even stranger. I still feel like I just don't deserve to post on these forums anymore.
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Aug 16, 2016 22:37
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Anne Whateley posted:I think google doesn't index Stormfront and equally major hate sites for obvious reasons, 
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Aug 16, 2016 22:40
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:I still feel like I just don't deserve to post on these forums anymore. Hey hey, calm down ASF. I know how life can get abs. awful, been at the bottom myself. But lemme tell ya, it does get better. Also if I do get ever in Zagreb, I'll buy you a drink on my behalf. Also what's with Zagreb wanting our loving coast? Give us Slovenians some breathing room sheesh.
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Aug 16, 2016 22:45
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And do tell where you get the best meat burek in Zagreb? Always wanted to see if you can best my local burek bakery.
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Aug 16, 2016 22:50
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Even my therapist doesn't know this, as I'm very peculiar to whom I disclose this secret. Now a whole thread of internet strangers knows, so tell your therapist so they can help you work through it! Not sarcasm, I really recommend you tell your therapist about your abuse.
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Aug 16, 2016 23:07
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Uh, I think I sort of missed the point in the penultimate post: I am doing all I can so I'd be hated by the people instead of being pitied, which I personally feel to be worse.
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Aug 17, 2016 00:15
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ASF, it's Tuesday. Have you checked yourself in to a hospital yet? Given the use of ''when'' and not ''if'' in regards to suicide your last major post was very frightening and will probably get the thread locked. I hope that whatever help you get will bring you to an understanding of the difference between pity and empathy, too. (01) 4833-888 appears to be the suicide prevention hotline for Zagreb. Please be safe.
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Aug 17, 2016 00:41
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:I still feel like I just don't deserve to post on these forums anymore. Don't let a bunch of people who are obviously misconstruing what you said convince you that you're a shittier more hosed up person than you are. A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Uh, I think I sort of missed the point in the penultimate post: I am doing all I can so I'd be hated by the people instead of being pitied, which I personally feel to be worse. To be pitied is not a pleasant thing, but surely it's better to be pitied, where people actually give a poo poo about you and can sympathise/empathise with you than to try to warp their sentiments towards you into something negative. Are you doing it because somehow it feels like that way it's a choice of yours instead of something you can't help? NotAnArtist posted:(01) 4833-888 appears to be the suicide prevention hotline for Zagreb. Please be safe.
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Aug 17, 2016 00:46
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NotAnArtist posted:ASF, it's Tuesday. Have you checked yourself in to a hospital yet? I got a referral for a day hospital from my GP, unfortunately the waiting room was packed with people and it was almost noon by the time I got the paper. It's ~2AM right now and I've set the alarm clock at seven, and then I'll be on my way.
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Aug 17, 2016 00:50
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:I got a referral for a day hospital from my GP, unfortunately the waiting room was packed with people and it was almost noon by the time I got the paper. It's ~2AM right now and I've set the alarm clock at seven, and then I'll be on my way. Godspeed man. I have no pity for you, only empathy. I hope for you to see yourself worth the effort to heal.
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Aug 17, 2016 01:00
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