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Anagram of GINGER
Oct 3, 2014

by Smythe
If a man could get laid living in a cardboard box, then man would live in a cardboard box

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FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

I drove by the house I grew up in recently. The one that my parents renovated with the help of free child labor. Where I learned to tape drywall, pour concrete, and cared for the acre of lawn with a push mower (coincidentally by the age of 12 I was also skilled in small engine maintenance and repair.)

My parents had moved out ten years ago. The fence is fallen, yard overgrown, and siding is green with moss.

As I live in my own fixer upper now, gently caress people who don't give a poo poo.

c0ldfuse
Jun 18, 2004

The pursuit of excellence.

c0ldfuse posted:

From Facebook, someone I only know through internet posted about doing yard work but this house... I... I don't know what to say...




Currently getting her address so I can take some screen caps on google maps and check out the interior from the listing as well as how much they paid.

Any bets its got a Stablock panel?



Elsa posted:

All this house needs is some bushes to hide that foundation, and a vertical plant or statue to justify that offset door.

1) Door off center
2) Bottom of door not flush with porch (while sometimes this is done, it's outlandishly poor in this case due to size and having the siding underneath it, unlike this: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d4/Single-family_home2.jpg)
3) Undersized posts as previously mentioned.
4) One of the following is not perfectly straight: the door, stone slab on top of the cinder blocks, or the siding. My guess is
5) Bottom of dormer window meets exactly at roof. Leak city as with this specific gable design (no overhang) as if the rain is coming from whatever direction this is, it will hit the roof directly at the sill (not much room for flashing there eh?). Not to mention that you're going to get a poo poo ton of water into the room if you accidentally leave it open and it rains.
6) Since we're talking about water--we'll assume that unnecessary roof thing or whatever the gently caress it is over the door carries a consistent line to the actual roof since we can't see. Due to the height of it, the water will run down towards the edges of the dormer which is probably okay but non-ideal.

EDIT:
Added note on (2) for how this should be done if it is done.

c0ldfuse fucked around with this message at 05:13 on Aug 22, 2016

Skunkduster
Jul 15, 2005




c0ldfuse posted:

1) Door off center
2) Bottom of door not flush with porch.
3) Undersized posts as previously mentioned.
4) One of the following is not perfectly straight: the door, stone slab on top of the cinder blocks, or the siding. My guess is
5) Bottom of dormer window meets exactly at roof. Leak city as with this specific gable design (no overhang) as if the rain is coming from whatever direction this is, it will hit the roof directly at the sill (not much room for flashing there eh?). Not to mention that you're going to get a poo poo ton of water into the room if you accidentally leave it open and it rains.
6) Since we're talking about water--we'll assume that unnecessary roof thing or whatever the gently caress it is over the door carries a consistent line to the actual roof since we can't see. Due to the height of it, the water will run down towards the edges of the dormer which is probably okay but non-ideal.

7. Four unique windows.

Queen_Combat
Jan 15, 2011
Even in The Sims I use the same window!

Blue Footed Booby
Oct 4, 2006

got those happy feet

Elsa posted:

I see your point and I guess I'm just not sophisticated enough to rag on house havers. Except for maybe this one


Give it a facade door maybe :laffo: just nail one on there.

I totally missed the lack of a door when that was first posted. What the hell.

Wasabi the J
Jan 23, 2008

MOM WAS RIGHT

Ashcans
Jan 2, 2006

Let's do the space-time warp again!

I understand how you end up with a crazy looking house when it is something that has been built on to in stages for the last hundred years, but the stuff going on with these places is just crazy. Are they just using whatever the cheapest windows are on sale that week or something? How hard is it to get matching windows?

I assume that the architectural stage is done by scavenging fragments from someone's recycling bin and taping them together.

Anagram of GINGER
Oct 3, 2014

by Smythe

SkunkDuster posted:

7. Four unique windows.

It looks like the bottom windows are the same except for a screen, and the top windows are the same but the panels are shut in opposite ways.

lol or maybe they are identical windows but were installed with different orientations. Upside down and inside out, I'm about to show all you folks what it's all about

c0ldfuse posted:

From Facebook, someone I only know through internet posted about doing yard work but this house... I... I don't know what to say...




Currently getting her address so I can take some screen caps on google maps and check out the interior from the listing as well as how much they paid.

Any bets its got a Stablock panel?

TVs Ian
Jun 1, 2000

Such graceful, delicate creatures.

Ashcans posted:

I understand how you end up with a crazy looking house when it is something that has been built on to in stages for the last hundred years, but the stuff going on with these places is just crazy. Are they just using whatever the cheapest windows are on sale that week or something? How hard is it to get matching windows?

I assume that the architectural stage is done by scavenging fragments from someone's recycling bin and taping them together.

There's a door store I pass on the way to work that has a big "scratch and dent" rack out in front of the store. Just a big pile of doors that match nothing that have been leaning on each other at odd angles, some with frames attached and some not, and exposed to the elements for who knows how long.

I assume there's a window equivalent to this somewhere.

c0ldfuse
Jun 18, 2004

The pursuit of excellence.

TVs Ian posted:

There's a door store I pass on the way to work that has a big "scratch and dent" rack out in front of the store. Just a big pile of doors that match nothing that have been leaning on each other at odd angles, some with frames attached and some not, and exposed to the elements for who knows how long.

I assume there's a window equivalent to this somewhere.

I hope everyone thought of this thread and the door places which have to exist in every city when they saw Fake Doors ad on Rick and Morty. It made me appreciate the commercial so much more.

Slugworth
Feb 18, 2001

If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran!
While I've always thought they were dumb, Juliet balconies seem like a strange thing for him to be calling out as 'doorways to nowhere'. It's an established architectural detail, and a fairly popular one at that.

FCKGW
May 21, 2006

It's refreshing to see a blog use the term McMansion correctly and not just refer to every new piece of tract housing as a McMansion.

Polio Vax Scene
Apr 5, 2009



beepsandboops posted:

Reminds me of a house around where I live:



It's been this way for well over a decade at this point and every time I pass I :psyduck:

This is some Silent Hill poo poo right here.

There was a door here, it's gone now.

Wasabi the J
Jan 23, 2008

MOM WAS RIGHT

Slugworth posted:

While I've always thought they were dumb, Juliet balconies seem like a strange thing for him to be calling out as 'doorways to nowhere'. It's an established architectural detail, and a fairly popular one at that.

If they allowed the occupant to utilize them as a guardrail or whatever sure. But based on the quality of those McMansions, I would venture to guess they're not.

On top of that they call out a lot of popular details that have been used too great effect on other projects,but there is a text only post that really details the shortcomings of them, where they discuss how these abominations are constructed as a mashup of features; nearly all of them designed to have features that exist only to say the house has them.

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.

A friend of mine stayed at a hotel that had Juliet balconies and doors that only opened outwards... 4 inches until they hit the balcony.

Ashcans
Jan 2, 2006

Let's do the space-time warp again!

It probably results in fewer people falling out of the hotel though, so overall a good thing.

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 4 hours!
The different window thing totally isn't a cheapness thing, the designers and clients actually think it's good. It's eclectic. The client really likes 6 different architectural styles and sighs that they can't have them all. But wait, this architect can absolutely give you your 6 different styles together. Also did you know the more corners a building has the more expensive is is? So if you make your building look like it's actually 20 different boxes and roofs lashed together it proves you are rich and have a good architect.

People have garbage taste. A lot of people look at those houses and think they are fine, or even good. So many window styles shows they didn't just buy windows in bulk, they carefully select each window to suit the tastes of the room. Most McMansions are cheap garbage, but I've seen some that are actually expensive and built with good materials just designed exactly like a mish-mash of styles and broken architectural rules that entirely miss the point of each element.

there wolf
Jan 11, 2015

by Fluffdaddy

Slugworth posted:

While I've always thought they were dumb, Juliet balconies seem like a strange thing for him to be calling out as 'doorways to nowhere'. It's an established architectural detail, and a fairly popular one at that.

I thought a Juliet balcony was just enough space for you to actually step outside. Is it really doors+ guardrail serving as a big window, or can it be both?

Also the person running the blog is a she.

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.

A Juliet balcony should have no depth and doors that opened inwards.

Phanatic
Mar 13, 2007

Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

Youth Decay posted:

That McMansion Hell blog may have found the worst McMansion I've ever seen. Preview:

It's nearly 10,000 square feet jesus christ.

It's also McWebpageHell. What the gently caress is this supposed to look like? Firefox, Chrome, doesn't matter, the page starts off with two ENORMOUS tumblr icons and then I get a bunch of cruft followed by articles that are separated from each other by comments I have to scroll through to get to the next article. It looks like broken HTML that assumes I'm looking at it in Tumblr's app on a mobile device even though I'm not; is useragent no longer a thing?

Fender Anarchist
May 20, 2009

Fender Anarchist

I mean ultimately Tumblr is a blogging site, not an online newspaper.

Safety Dance
Sep 10, 2007

Five degrees to starboard!

Phanatic posted:

It's also McWebpageHell. What the gently caress is this supposed to look like? Firefox, Chrome, doesn't matter, the page starts off with two ENORMOUS tumblr icons and then I get a bunch of cruft followed by articles that are separated from each other by comments I have to scroll through to get to the next article. It looks like broken HTML that assumes I'm looking at it in Tumblr's app on a mobile device even though I'm not; is useragent no longer a thing?

Looks fine to me? What browser/OS are you using.

pidan
Nov 6, 2012


there wolf posted:

I thought a Juliet balcony was just enough space for you to actually step outside. Is it really doors+ guardrail serving as a big window, or can it be both?

Also the person running the blog is a she.

It's just a big window with a guardrail so you don't fall out. I like it, though I'd generally prefer a real balcony.

Phanatic
Mar 13, 2007

Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

Safety Dance posted:

Looks fine to me? What browser/OS are you using.



Chrome under Win7.



Switch to Firefox, same thing.

Switch to Internet Explorer, same thing except the Tumblr icons are smaller.

Pile of Kittens
Apr 23, 2005

Why does everything STILL smell like pussy?

Tumblr is the falling-down, thrice-renovated but still needs a new roof and has extensive water damage, foundation was never laid right, traces of old owners trying to fix the wiring, Grover house of web design. You have to do special things to it to get it to display right for everyone and nobody really puts the effort in because if you have those skills, why are you publishing content via Tumblr.

Alereon
Feb 6, 2004

Dehumanize yourself and face to Trumpshed
College Slice
The CSS file isn't loading, do you have some lovely "Internet Security" program or work firewall blocking it? Or did you do some weird manual ad blocking thing? It seems weird it would affect multiple browsers.

Javid
Oct 21, 2004

:jpmf:
That looks exactly like it would with noscript or something similar running.

If you have to whitelist several successive layers of script-hosting domains just to make a website readable, that's not really the ad blocker's fault, though.

Nitrox
Jul 5, 2002
It's looking like a broken version of Facebook feed for me as well. Could you please just screenshot or copy the relevant content? The ones posted earlier were great, thank you.

Safety Dance
Sep 10, 2007

Five degrees to starboard!

No, some of them are pretty good long-form works. Figure out why your poo poo is broken.

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 4 hours!
The site is really hard to read even when working right. It's sort of like a blog but you have to click each entry but then at the end it doesn't continue and it's all hosed and awful.

c0ldfuse
Jun 18, 2004

The pursuit of excellence.
There's a purpose to Tumblr beyond mobile porn?

the yeti
Mar 29, 2008

memento disco



Baronjutter posted:

The site is really hard to read even when working right. It's sort of like a blog but you have to click each entry but then at the end it doesn't continue and it's all hosed and awful.

If you go back out to the frontpage it should load articles in succession just like in Safety Dance's screenshot and keep loading them as you scroll.

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Cakefool posted:

A Juliet balcony should have no depth and doors that opened inwards.

Fire code says all doors open outwards, brah

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.

FogHelmut posted:

Fire code says all doors open outwards, brah

Obviously the ones my friend stayed at were up to code then.

(Does it count as a door when it's 2nd+ story with no fire escape?)

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
Fire escapes own. It’s a shame many modern building codes don’t permit them.

Youth Decay
Aug 18, 2015

BonerGhost
Mar 9, 2007

Baronjutter posted:

The site is really hard to read even when working right. It's sort of like a blog but you have to click each entry but then at the end it doesn't continue and it's all hosed and awful.

Thank you, I couldn't figure out if I was just retarded or if Tumblr is the worst navigation possible. Shows how much I use it.

Synthbuttrange
May 6, 2007

A lot of that is in the style that any tumblr picks though. Some autoload, others are navigational nightmares.

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Motronic
Nov 6, 2009

FogHelmut posted:

Fire code says all doors open outwards, brah

I know this is a joke, but only doors counted as (and legitimately) egress need to do that in commercial.

For residential, where you aren't expected to have a caretaker outside while you are inside egress doors open inward. I would really suck rear end if you couldn't open any of your doors after an overnight snowfall.......

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