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Maybe someone stumbled on a blog post about sparse files and are worried it applies to zip files.
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Aug 23, 2016 17:29
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Super Slash posted:I see stuff like this so much I'm not even surprised any more, people are just filthy animals. At job-1, I wrote an SOP for how to pee in the urinals without pissing on the floor, including crude stick diagrams: OVERVIEW: To relieve yourself using the provided urinals without making unnecessary messes. IMPACT: Improper use of the urinals will make messes that will smell and discourage other users of the bathroom facilities. SOP STEPS: 1) Unfasten lower garments 2) approach urinal. Line up so that your crotch is right 3) urinate 4) shake off any excess urine 5) refasten garmets 6) wash hands. Do not argue, just do it. Escalation Paths: Your mother can show you how to properly succeed in this task if you need help. nitrogen fucked around with this message at 19:54 on Aug 23, 2016 |
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Aug 23, 2016 19:02
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nitrogen posted:At job-1, I wrote an SOP for how to pee in the urinals without pissing on the floor, including crude stick diagrams: Hah this is awesome. Should be posted in every bathroom. Forgiveness is given to those that occasionally miss the toilet (if you say you never do, you're a loving liar, or you sit literally every time you pee), but clean up after themselves.
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Aug 23, 2016 19:14
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You wrote an SOP for pissing all over the wall underneath the urinal, though  Edit: Unless it's for a handstand piss.
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Aug 23, 2016 19:46
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Thanks Ants posted:You wrote an SOP for pissing all over the wall underneath the urinal, though I noticed that after typing my post and was going to edit to mention, but lazy.
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Aug 23, 2016 19:48
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Thanks Ants posted:You wrote an SOP for pissing all over the wall underneath the urinal, though Nitrogen loves piss on the floor.
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Aug 23, 2016 19:50
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No, i'm just a dumbass summarizing instead of taking a picture of a printout 
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Aug 23, 2016 19:54
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nitrogen posted:No, i'm just a dumbass summarizing instead of taking a picture of a printout please fax me a picture of your printout and revert
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Aug 23, 2016 19:55
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Inspector_666 posted:please fax me a picture of your printout and revert I took a picture with my iphone, had it printed at Walgreen's. Now I've got it back and I need to scan it in so I can e-fax it to you. The scanner doesn't work. The button red and the screen says PWROFF. Who's Roff and why did he put a password on the scanner?
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Aug 23, 2016 20:05
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Thanks Ants posted:You wrote an SOP for pissing all over the wall underneath the urinal, though
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Aug 23, 2016 20:12
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instructions unclear, got dilz stuck in Dyson Airblade
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Aug 23, 2016 20:23
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ChickenOfTomorrow posted:instructions unclear, got dilz stuck in Dyson Airblade Ticket priority 0 Creator: Phantom Pisser Assignee: IT Subject: haha fuckos, I peed on the floor to spite you Sent from my IPhone
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Aug 23, 2016 20:25
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ChickenOfTomorrow posted:instructions unclear, got dilz stuck in Dyson Airblade Somewhere out there, someone has logged an IT ticket about one of those things not working.
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Aug 23, 2016 21:11
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ChickenOfTomorrow posted:instructions unclear, got dilz stuck in Dyson Airblade 
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Aug 23, 2016 21:12
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Ynglaur posted:Somewhere out there, someone has logged an IT ticket about one of those things not working. Airblade will not flush, THIS IS AFFECTING PRODUCTION
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Aug 23, 2016 21:15
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So we all know that IT is also the research department. Hey no one can figure out what this is, you know how to google! Find this! Sales can't figure out why a product UPC isn't working on Amazon, Amazon says another product is using this. The System just gives them UPCs they don't know where they come from. Okay so this has been going on for a few months, finally gets on my desk today, first I hear about it. I look into UPCs, see there is a yearly fee and go ask about it, no one knows anything about them but we're listed so we must be paying! I say I'm going to call and figure this out, get an angry CFO running up to my desk  what if they don't know and want to back bill us! I discover UPCs before 2002 were actually a 1 time fee and there was a massive lawsuit over them trying to switch it to annual for existing members too. Amazon still wants a certificate to prove we own the block since the other seller apparently provided "proof" that they are entitled to use the number Great okay so I call them, get everything squared away and get a nice certificate. Thanks for making me waste an extra hour trying to figure out about this lawsuit when they were not GS1 but were UCC and its not very well documented. The only real references are sites that resell from their grandfathered in blocks. I now know more than I wanted to know about the history of the UPC code, I already knew the first thing sold was gum and the interesting bits. I'm hoping this is the end of it, but we all know sales is going to gently caress it up and not tell me until December. It will finally end when I'm added as an authorized contact on our Amazon account and just deal with it myself. I have better things to do, like figure out why this one simple GPO keeps taking 3 minutes to process for some users but not all.
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Aug 23, 2016 22:00
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No not research department, it's computer janitor. Same as a traditional janitor: you deal with the lovely messes no one else wants to clean up. Except it's all digital, so at least you don't have to mop up vomit and pee.
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Aug 23, 2016 22:09
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did you know that bar codes actually work on the empty spaces not the black stripes???
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Aug 23, 2016 22:10
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nitrogen posted:At job-1, I wrote an SOP for how to pee in the urinals without pissing on the floor, including crude stick diagrams: Ticket closed: SOP applicable to HomoSapiens™ model XY only, please do the needful.
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Aug 23, 2016 22:20
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Sirotan posted:Ticket closed: SOP applicable to HomoSapiens™ model XY only, please do the needful. XY model Bathroom SOP containment room has an ACL deny for model XX, therefore this is none of your concern.
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Aug 23, 2016 22:27
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pixaal posted:
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Aug 23, 2016 22:37
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ChickenOfTomorrow posted:did you know that bar codes actually work on the empty spaces not the black stripes??? I did not. That is very interesting. Please, tell us more.
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Aug 23, 2016 22:42
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Johnny Aztec posted:I did not. That is very interesting. Please, tell us more. QR codes are a useful technology as evidenced by this Tumblr http://picturesofpeoplescanningqrcodes.tumblr.com/
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Aug 23, 2016 22:57
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ConfusedUs posted:QR codes are a useful technology as evidenced by this Tumblr I always click on that and I always laugh. Over the years I've heard so many bad management plans to use QR codes. They're always worthless and never get implemented. EDIT: No, you dumb idiot babies you are not going to manually rename 9 gigabytes of files. You are going to have to learn to use the renaming software I gave you. You cannot manually rename 7,000+ goddamn files by the end of the day. Dick Trauma fucked around with this message at 23:31 on Aug 23, 2016 |
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Aug 23, 2016 23:23
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nitrogen posted:
Had to poop, but could not find applicable HOWTO. Tried to adapt this method with less than ideal results. Please advice.
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Aug 24, 2016 00:33
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stubblyhead posted:Had to poop, but could not find applicable HOWTO. Tried to adapt this method with less than ideal results. Please advice. also IT please do the needful to floor/urinal, I ate too much indian food last night and it shows.
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Aug 24, 2016 00:39
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stubblyhead posted:Had to poop, but could not find applicable HOWTO. Tried to adapt this method with less than ideal results. Please advice. Surely poop has a MAN page!
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Aug 24, 2016 00:57
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Dick Trauma posted:Surely poop has a MAN page! If not, we need to start a wiki.
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Aug 24, 2016 01:07
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: Hi Zamujasa, please renew the certificates on these websites: *.a, *.b, *.c : sure : wow this website's interface really sucks, but at least I got *.a and *.b done! on to the last one(A few hours of frustrated server checking later) : I'm not sure how we ended up with nine different servers under the "*.c" wildcard cert but I want to punch whoever set it up without any sort of central management for configuration or certificates, especially considering they're all the exact loving sameIt's cool, I like logging into a bunch of different servers, figuring out where the snowflake configuration is on each one, and updating it. 
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Aug 24, 2016 02:51
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Zamujasa posted:
This with domain names holy poo poo. Hi we have 70 domain names, several expire each month of the year, renew them for 1 year each oh and we're dropping these, let's talk next month about the next batch, oh and buy GimmickDomainName.net, it sounds better than .com! Hey we can pay partial years on all of these in bulk and get them to at least expire on the same month, can we do that? NO! Of course not!. gently caress I hate monthly domain renewal turns into 12 hours of debating with marketing sales and the CEO who is hands on with all of these what ones to keep and drop and I have to sit in on the meetings. We only use like 8 of them, and 5 of them are redirects!
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Aug 24, 2016 03:06
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nitrogen posted:At job-1, I wrote an SOP for how to pee in the urinals without pissing on the floor, including crude stick diagrams: *Angry man arrives at IT desk with urine-soaked pants and untied shoes.* "These instructions suck" Also need to repeat #6 like 10 times or put it in 72 point font or something. Hate this, goddammit, and at least one guy in my office does not wash his hands after pissing because of loving course, "I don't piss on my hands." No, you just touch your filthy dick and the urinal flush handle which has been touched by other unwashed hands. Che Delilas fucked around with this message at 04:56 on Aug 24, 2016 |
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Aug 24, 2016 04:53
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Who'd ever have guessed that Eaglesoft has given me yet another one. We all know progress bars are often useless, but Patterson Technologies has managed to step it up a notch. We had to temporarily archive some older xray images while we sorted out a disk space issue. I'm restoring the archived files to the live system now that it's got a few TB more space available and this is a how the progress bar has looked over the last few hours:      It's looped through full and back around at least a half dozen times. However they're using the progress bar is overflowing. Also though it claims it's at 100% it's nowhere close to done. The number after the tilde in the filename is the image number, sequential since the system started. This restore was around 285k images, and some of those sequence numbers belong to ones that were deleted and thus aren't in the restore.
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Aug 24, 2016 05:58
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pixaal posted:Certificate talk Hey, at least you track when they expire. Back when $CTO worked at my place, we didn't. Friday, 4 PM, sometime in 2012 : Hey, uh, this thing isn't checking in any more. : I'll look at it! : several minutes of sad attempts at debugging derp herp : Oh. The server's clock was off by a day or so, and the certificate expires tomorrow. So when it tried to check in, it was getting an invalid certificate error. : I'll renew the certificate and I'll set the server's clock a few more days ahead so we get more advanced warning next time! : You... aren't just going to put it on the calendar?  When I had to renew the certs today, the vendor's webpage helpfully crapped out a "OPPS! Server error!" warning (yes, typo included) and I lost all the form data I put into it
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Aug 24, 2016 08:41
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MC Fruit Stripe posted:We merged with another company and it has been a real bastard of a headache. It seems that so far the approach is basically "our infrastructure, their policies". They have a formal NOC in place. We had what was basically a loose collective of on call operations analysts. This means we now have a NOC. This is great. The problem is that this NOC, I guess they're used to calling the shots on their end or something, I don't know. I say this because I am getting emails from them about what permissions we will grant them. And for the life of me I just can't seem to get them to understand that the NOC can not decide their own permissions level. It's possible that they're used to being the main point of contact and fixing poo poo themselves instead of just passing stuff off to other teams with a ticket stating "guy called, says poo poo is broken and please advise". Try talking to them and getting an idea of what they were used to doing before the merger.
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Aug 24, 2016 10:13
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Zamujasa posted:
 beautiful. Just wonderful problem solving there. I mean, what's the server need an accurate clock for anyway, logs are loving useless and certificates certainly don't rely on system time for verification. And the 'advanced warning' they'll get is that the service will stop checking in on a different day instead of the day before cert expiration.
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Aug 24, 2016 14:11
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Hey new guy who thinks he's too good to do t1 support and asked me why we don't just change our entire windows based company over to Linux. loving shower, you smelly poo poo. We literally have one downstairs. Christ, i didn't think people like you actually existed ----- On a funnier note, i've been keeping in contact with some of the guys from the last company i worked at. Turns out they've had to fire most of their new hires because none of them can get through the day without looking at porn on work computers. Unless they changed what the officers look like, all those PC screens face the middle of the room, its an open office. Why would they think that was a good idea 
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Aug 24, 2016 15:10
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Bob Morales posted:Good News: HR is going to have "the talk" with AS/400 guy. You're not fired, but you're not going to work here much longer, so start looking for a job. We will give you time off to go to interviews etc. Aaaand he turned in his resignation in today.
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Aug 24, 2016 15:41
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And now he's in the position of power because if there's no one else to run the as/400, management will be in a panic and he'll be naming his price to contract for a while.
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Aug 24, 2016 15:45
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Bob Morales posted:Aaaand he turned in his resignation in today. How could this story possibly have any other ending?
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Aug 24, 2016 16:15
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poo poo not pissing me off: CloudFormation and Powershell and scripting I'm working on a proof of concept involving SQL Server 2016 on AWS EC2, so last night I decided to upgrade an existing SQL 2012 server to 2016 by flattening the instance and building a new one: - script to shut down SQL server services - AWS CLI to shutdown and terminate instance without terminating EBS volumes - Cloudformation script to launch new Windows Server 2012r2 box, configure it, re-add existing EBS volumes, launch powershell script to online volumes in the OS, rename instance and add it to existing AD domain, install datadog agent - log onto the box - run unattended installation script to install SQL 2016 - launch SSMS to attach databases - import scheduled tasks from backup Total elapsed time the server registered as unhealthy in SQL Server load balancer pool: 47 minutes. Sometimes poo poo just works, folks.
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Aug 24, 2016 16:25
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