Magic the Gathering Appreciation Station

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > Magic the Gathering Appreciation Station

Fuzzy Mammal: Aug 15, 2001; Lipstick Apathy

rabidsquid posted:

if you are a bad player and won its gloating, hahahahaha

Yes? Have you never trolled someone who is salty by shoving your hand in their face for a shake? Alternatively have you never won a match during which you made large mistakes? There are wins to be proud of and there are wins not to be proud of.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:16

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 03:29

Zoness: Jul 24, 2011; Talk to the hand.; Grimey Drawer

Fuzzy Mammal posted:

Yes? Have you never trolled someone who is salty by shoving your hand in their face for a shake? Alternatively have you never won a match during which you made large mistakes? There are wins to be proud of and there are wins not to be proud of.

no that's really rude and unsanitary

I offer them a handshake in the normal fashion, by proffering my hand to a torso level, not at his face level.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:19

suicidesteve: Jan 4, 2006; "Life is a maze. This is one of its dead ends.

Instead of shaking hands I shove my arm up their sleeve and grab their shoulder to make sure they're not armed with some hidden cards. It's the only way to make sure they're not trying to cheat.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:22

Toshimo: Aug 23, 2012; He's outta line...

But he's right!

Zoness posted:

no that's really rude and unsanitary

I offer them a handshake in the normal fashion, by proffering my hand to a torso level, not at his face level.

Crotch level or get the gently caress out.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:22

Zoness: Jul 24, 2011; Talk to the hand.; Grimey Drawer

Toshimo posted:

Crotch level or get the gently caress out.

Excuse me, my hand is up here.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:24

Toshimo: Aug 23, 2012; He's outta line...

But he's right!

Zoness posted:

Excuse me, my hand is up here.

Good av/post combo imo.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:26

Mezzanon: Sep 16, 2003; Pillbug

Fuzzy Mammal posted:

^^^^ Of course it can.

This is bad as you are forcing the loser to shake. If they were mana screwed or you're a bad player and topdecked a one outer to win then you forcing them to shake is gloating. Only offer when you lose it's that easy.

Are you loving high? When did I say I forced someone to shake? I said I offered the shake, and I also used the most non-gloating language humanly possible. Please try to act like an adult while playing your childrens card game.

Edit: Also LOL at "wins to be proud of and wins to not be proud of" gently caress off.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:27

Fuzzy Mammal: Aug 15, 2001; Lipstick Apathy

By offering to shake you are forcing them to accept the shake. You already beat them. Let the aggrieved player decide whether to shake or not, it's that simple.

Ahh the under the table shake. Otherwise known as the dimir touch.

e: It can be, yes. Especially if thousands of dollars are on the line. How are you all so dense?

Fuzzy Mammal fucked around with this message at 23:31 on Aug 23, 2016

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:28

Zoness: Jul 24, 2011; Talk to the hand.; Grimey Drawer

losing a match of Magic: the Gathering is now a grievance

I mean, we should all feel good or bad about playing a game we care a lot about, that's fine. But feeling bad about a game isn't mutually exclusive with acknowledging that your opponent was a human being who is worthy of respect.

Hopefully.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:30

Zoness: Jul 24, 2011; Talk to the hand.; Grimey Drawer

because I am a fully functional adult so I can dissociate my respect for others from how I feel about something

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:32

black potus: Jul 13, 2006

After topdecking bonfire, hand extended: Take it! Take it bitch! Say good game!!

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:43

Alris: Apr 20, 2007; Welcome to the Fantasy Zone!

Get ready!

I feel bad for and apologise to my opponent after every win.

The upside is I don't do a lot of winning.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:43

Zoness: Jul 24, 2011; Talk to the hand.; Grimey Drawer

Alris posted:

I feel bad for and apologise to my opponent after every win.

The upside is I don't do a lot of winning.

gently caress that, you earned that win. You shouldn't have to apologize to anyone.

Magic shouldn't require weird kowtow rituals, what the gently caress did they put in the new ink?

black potus posted:

After topdecking bonfire, hand extended: Take it! Take it bitch! Say good game!!

same but also in 3 other languages, for extra tilt

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:44

black potus: Jul 13, 2006

My opponent, as I politely shake his hand: I'm scarred forever, this loss will follow me to my grave.

black potus fucked around with this message at 02:26 on Aug 24, 2016

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:45

Zoness: Jul 24, 2011; Talk to the hand.; Grimey Drawer

Actually every game of magic I play is a shadow game so when I win my opponents can't shake my hand since they are now dead.

Whoops.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:46

Orange Fluffy Sheep: Jul 26, 2008; Bad EXP received

Zoness posted:

actually showing up to even threaten your opponent's chances of winning was disrespectful. you should have stayed home to really avoid offending them.

My 55/45 match-up puts my opponent on tilt.

All according to 妙計.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:46

Toshimo: Aug 23, 2012; He's outta line...

But he's right!

This loving thread.

I loving taught literal goddamn children to play sports for years and at the end of every game, both teams shook hands because IT'S WHAT YOU loving DO TO SHOW RESPECT FOR YOURSELF, YOUR OPPONENT AND THE GAME. The fact that adult loving goons have more difficulty with this than children is both unsurprising and shameful.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:47

Mezzanon: Sep 16, 2003; Pillbug

Toshimo posted:

This loving thread.

I loving taught literal goddamn children to play sports for years and at the end of every game, both teams shook hands because IT'S WHAT YOU loving DO TO SHOW RESPECT FOR YOURSELF, YOUR OPPONENT AND THE GAME. The fact that adult loving goons have more difficulty with this than children is both unsurprising and shameful.

This guy gets it.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:49

Orange Fluffy Sheep: Jul 26, 2008; Bad EXP received

Toshimo posted:

This loving thread.

I loving taught literal goddamn children to play sports for years and at the end of every game, both teams shook hands because IT'S WHAT YOU loving DO TO SHOW RESPECT FOR YOURSELF, YOUR OPPONENT AND THE GAME. The fact that adult loving goons have more difficulty with this than children is both unsurprising and shameful.

Heh, someone's tilting pretty hard. Time to wrap this up! *Coco reveals 4 lands, Avacyn, and a Dromoka's Command* ah gently caress.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:52

ThePeavstenator: Dec 18, 2012; Establish the Buns

Personally I like to immediately put my palm on my opponent's forehead and mind-meld with them after each match so the loser can feel the other person's pain.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:53

Zoness: Jul 24, 2011; Talk to the hand.; Grimey Drawer

ThePeavstenator posted:

Personally I like to immediately put my palm on my opponent's forehead and mind-meld with them after each match so the loser can feel the other person's pain.

same but also the winner's erection or equivalent thereof

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:54

Irony Be My Shield: Jul 29, 2012

Toshimo posted:

This loving thread.

I loving taught literal goddamn children to play sports for years and at the end of every game, both teams shook hands because IT'S WHAT YOU loving DO TO SHOW RESPECT FOR YOURSELF, YOUR OPPONENT AND THE GAME. The fact that adult loving goons have more difficulty with this than children is both unsurprising and shameful.

Yeah. It helps you get over the game also.

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:58

GoutPatrol: Oct 17, 2009; *Stupid Babby*

Toshimo posted:

This loving thread.

I loving taught literal goddamn children to play sports for years and at the end of every game, both teams shook hands because IT'S WHAT YOU loving DO TO SHOW RESPECT FOR YOURSELF, YOUR OPPONENT AND THE GAME. The fact that adult loving goons have more difficulty with this than children is both unsurprising and shameful.

I headbutt people, then mark them with my scent

being an alpha means proving it every FNM

# ? Aug 23, 2016 23:59

Some Numbers: Sep 28, 2006; "LET'S GET DOWN TO WORK!!"

Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:

My 55/45 match-up puts my opponent on tilt.

All according to 妙計.

Did you mean 計画?

# ? Aug 24, 2016 00:00

Errant Gin Monks: Oct 2, 2009; "Yeah..."
- Marshawn Lynch

Fuzzy Mammal posted:

By offering to shake you are forcing them to accept the shake. You already beat them. Let the aggrieved player decide whether to shake or not, it's that simple.

Ahh the under the table shake. Otherwise known as the dimir touch.

e: It can be, yes. Especially if thousands of dollars are on the line. How are you all so dense?

I dont offer my hand as the winner. I let them decide. I give them a bit while I pack up and if they don't offer I thank them for the games,wish them good luck and get up.

But I get a bit salty if I lose because my deck just poo poo on me. So I will un-sideboard and then shake if that's how I lose. If they just outplayed me and did a great job and I enjoyed the games I shake at the end of the match, if I'm just mana screwed gently caress it, they can wait.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 00:16

Rollie the Guar: Sep 12, 2011; You can't change nature, Jack.

Triple ZEN is such a great format. :getin:

# ? Aug 24, 2016 00:19

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

jace burns with concentration as he focuses his mind on the dimir spy. spirals of blue psychic corposant flare from his eyes as he mentally dominates the man, mercilessly wringing out his personality and subsuming his will. the spy fights him every step of the way. he grunts with effort, sweat beading on his forehead, as against his will his arm is raised to chest height. his clenched fingers pop open with a supreme effort of will on jace's part. grinding his teeth, desperately trying to force his jaw to obey him, to close, he growls out the words
"good... game..."

# ? Aug 24, 2016 00:28

Four Score: Feb 27, 2014; by zen death robot; Lipstick Apathy

Toshimo posted:

This loving thread.

I loving taught literal goddamn children to play sports for years and at the end of every game, both teams shook hands because IT'S WHAT YOU loving DO TO SHOW RESPECT FOR YOURSELF, YOUR OPPONENT AND THE GAME. The fact that adult loving goons have more difficulty with this than children is both unsurprising and shameful.

bullshit, no human being would let you near their kids even if you were a licensed pediatrician

# ? Aug 24, 2016 00:30

rabidsquid: Oct 11, 2004; LOVES THE KOG

any time someone lucks into a victory against my skill, i offer them a slip of paper with the date and time, so that they can remember the greatest moment of their foolish life

# ? Aug 24, 2016 00:38

Johnny Five-Jaces: Jan 21, 2009

ThePeavstenator posted:

I like to show up every FNM with frosted tips and wearing a duel disk I never use. Every time I sit down I greet my opponent by yelling "IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-D-DEUL" and present them my deck sleeved with Dark Magician sleeves.

there is a baltimore local that literally does this

suicidesteve posted:

This sounds like the time to start speccing on Nix!

my hypothetical burn sideboard for this new world BBE order:
4x Nix
4x Crack the Earth
4x Simian Spirit Guide (for the turn one crack the earths)
3x Sarpadian Empires, Vol. VII

# ? Aug 24, 2016 00:40

Errant Gin Monks: Oct 2, 2009; "Yeah..."
- Marshawn Lynch

Four Score posted:

bullshit, no human being would let you near their kids even if you were a licensed pediatrician

Seriously who would let Toshimo near children?

# ? Aug 24, 2016 00:44

rabidsquid: Oct 11, 2004; LOVES THE KOG

you could legitimately get a serial killer to coach youth sports and if they get results the parents would be asking their child what their loving problem is playing for a serial killer.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 00:46

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

I tilt by bringing up a subject from two pages ago without even the slightest hint of remorse.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 01:03

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

I tilt with metacontext shitposting.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 01:05

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

I tilt by doubleposting.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 01:05

rabidsquid: Oct 11, 2004; LOVES THE KOG

i tilted a pinball machine last week

# ? Aug 24, 2016 01:06

cheetah7071: Oct 20, 2010; honk honk; College Slice

I offer my opponents handjobs instead of handshakes when I win, it's the only sportsmanlike thing to do imo

# ? Aug 24, 2016 01:08

Soul Glo: Aug 27, 2003; Just let it shine through

Bugsy posted:

This is the only post worth anything in the last page. this thread.

I shitpost to tilt Serious Sally here

# ? Aug 24, 2016 01:16

AlternateNu: May 5, 2005; ドーナツダメ！

Some Numbers posted:

Did you mean 計画?

計画通り

# ? Aug 24, 2016 01:28

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 03:29

Orange Fluffy Sheep: Jul 26, 2008; Bad EXP received

Some Numbers posted:

Did you mean 計画?

At Red Cliffs, Kongming and Zhou Yu each wrote his plan for defeating Wei on the palm of his hand. They laughed as they both revealed the same word, "Handshake."

# ? Aug 24, 2016 02:29

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