CanPol Megathread: Big Changus

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > CanPol Megathread: Big Changus

BattleMaster: Aug 14, 2000

One time I was in a lunch line behind a woman with tight jeans showing off her rear end... and a face veil. I don't really understand religion.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 14:01

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# ? May 29, 2024 05:41

flashman: Dec 16, 2003

Madam your denim is too revealing

# ? Aug 24, 2016 14:11

PT6A: Jan 5, 2006; Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

Religious people just do whatever they want and then justify it after the fact, exactly like everyone else on Earth. Religion makes a lot more sense once you realize most religious people know very little about any religion, even their own, and care less about following it to the letter than they do about the sense of community and the sense of righteousness it adds to whatever they'd otherwise be doing anyway.

Same with the reactionaries: they don't want immigrants and they justify this to themselves by claiming they have to legislate Islamic clothing away to protect women's freedoms, even though in the West, it is only the reactionaries who are trying to use the force of law to dictate what a woman can and cannot wear. Talk about jamming a square peg in a round hole...

# ? Aug 24, 2016 14:11

mojo1701a: Oct 9, 2008; Oh, yeah. Loud and clear. Emphasis on LOUD!
~ David Lee Roth

The Dark One posted:

I propose that we replace all cancon with this bot: http://www.canlitgenerator.com/

"A woman and her dog join the Social Credit Party, appearing on Breakfast Television, after spending the first scene staring moodily out the kitchen window."

This is exactly what I was missing in my life. Thank you.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 14:18

Reince Penis: Nov 15, 2007; by R. Guyovich

mojo1701a posted:

"A woman and her dog join the Social Credit Party, appearing on Breakfast Television, after spending the first scene staring moodily out the kitchen window."

This is exactly what I was missing in my life. Thank you.

It's great right? I love it.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 14:25

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

Nine of Eight posted:

For those of you who aren't up to speed on Quebec politics, the CAQ are a right wing party formed from the turd smelling ashes of the ADQ, a right wing party well known for their leader flip flopping between so often that Prime Minister Charest was banned from uttering at least fifty different adjectives for "windmill" while speaking about Mario Dumont, their ex-leader turned radio host. Their most notable achievements include kicking off the original shitstorm about unreasonable accomodations (e.g. Flipping out because Muslims asked if they could bring halal food to be served at a sugar shack and other such moronities) and kicking out the PQ as official opposition only to accomplish gently caress-all.
The CAQ, meanwhile, has lost most of it's high profile MPs and Candidates and now mostly serves as a third party trying to state "me too" whenever someone else has a good policy idea (but mostly castigates the Liberal party for not being hardcore enough with their austerity) and occasionally comes up with dumb policy proposals catered to the type of Muslim/Anglo/Gay hating Quebec citizen the rest of us would like to pretend doesn't exist.

Or, in other words

CanLit Generator posted:

A troupe of French-Canadian clowns age gracelessly and plan a divorce.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 14:29

PT6A: Jan 5, 2006; Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

quote:

Three undergraduates from diverse backgrounds survive a historical tragedy on a lovely Greyhound bus only to be forced into a life-and-death struggle with a whale.

...this one has some promise.

flakeloaf posted:

Or, in other words

# ? Aug 24, 2016 14:30

DariusLikewise: Oct 4, 2008; You wore that on Halloween?

quote:

A troupe of French-Canadian clowns struggle with what it means to be both Canadian and Other to learn the darkest secrets of their family.

Manitoba was on the front page of CNN yesterday for all the wrong reasons. :smith:

http://www.cnn.com/2016/08/23/world/canada-indigenous-sex-trafficking/index.html

quote:

"I used to blame myself for everything. But, like I, I would say I let them do that to me. I am dirty. It's my fault," says Chopek through tears.
But Chopek is finally speaking out, determined to shake the guilt and shame that she knows should stalk her perpetrators instead of her.
"Now I see that I was just a child," says Chopek, now sitting serenely in a safe house, a healing lodge in rural Manitoba that cradled her in the love and protection she so needed when she escaped her life on the streets.
Now 19, Lauren was just 14 when she was sexually exploited and trafficked for sex in her hometown of Winnipeg. But as an indigenous girl in Canada, her story is hardly rare.
Canada's indigenous population is very small -- just 4% of the population -- yet more than 50% of all sex trafficking victims in Canada are indigenous. The reasons are complicated and varied but are ultimately rooted in a legacy of poverty, racism and abuse.
"I was actually making these bad choices for a reason," explains Chopek. "You know when you experience sexual abuse it's really confusing. You never know if it's your fault or is it theirs."

Diane Redsky runs Ma Mawi Wi Chi Itata Centre, which advocates for indigenous women and children, specifically sex trafficking victims. Her organization runs the rural healing lodge where Chopek stayed, as well as safe houses, rehabilitation and prevention programs throughout Manitoba.
Redsky says the history of racism against indigenous Canadians feeds into the cycle of violence and exploitation against them.
"It's really difficult to be able to fight those stereotypes as indigenous women when a whole society is targeting indigenous women and girls, particularly for violence and abuse -- and that spills over into sex trafficking," says Redsky.
Tanay Little's story shows how insidious the abuse can be. Little was just 11 when she was sexually exploited on the streets surrounding her family's home in Winnipeg. An older girl, someone who pretended to be her friend she says, was actually preying on Little, first luring her with drugs and then trafficking her for sex.
"I remember one time that she put me in a room and then two guys, one, not together, but one would come in and then I would have sex with him and then the other the other guy would come in. And then I'd get high after that," says Little.
She is blunt about what would happen if she refused to have sex with anybody.
"If you're not beat up, then you would get raped by a few of them at once," explains Little.

"There is a debt bondage that's between $1,000 and $2,000 a day that these girls must bring, must hand in to their trafficker or else," says Redsky.
These startling anecdotes have been heard in family homes, police stations and safe houses for years in Manitoba. The province is now taking the lead on an innovative approach to prevention and rehabilitation.

Redsky and others in Manitoba are now leading transformative programs to help identify the threats and risks so prevalent in indigenous communities. It is a new approach to help fight sex trafficking, one that focuses on the needs of the victims.
Jennifer Richardson runs Tracia's Trust, Manitoba's strategy to combat sexual exploitation and sex trafficking of children. Crucially, Manitoba's government has committed more than $10 million Canadian a year to fund it, a huge sum for a population of only about a million people.
"Within a 10-year span Manitoba has really grown this massive strategy that is just recognized throughout Canada as being kind of the frontier leaders in this area," says Richardson.
The program is different and revolutionary for Manitoba because it uses not only targeted funds, but also words, deeds, and training to fight human trafficking in a whole new way.

Outreach on neighborhood streets is one strategy that is executed with the help of law enforcement officers. Almost daily, Winnipeg Police dispatch an elite unit on the streets to try and counter sexual exploitation and human trafficking.
The approach is a departure for Winnipeg Police, who now say their efforts are firmly focused on helping victims. Outreach is conducted in a way to help victims and then bring their perpetrators to justice.
There is bias in the police service. We recognize it, that there's implicit bias. We certainly have taken steps to try to address that in a myriad of ways.

Law enforcement officials acknowledge a history of bias and racism that in the past prevented police from truly understanding how and why indigenous girls are vulnerable and at risk.
"There is bias in the police service. We recognize it, that there's implicit bias. We certainly have taken steps to try to address that in a myriad of ways," says Danny Smyth, Winnipeg's deputy police chief.
"We have a team that's dedicated just to outreach. Just to being out there and trying to get to know who's out on the street, and trying to establish a relationship with them," adds Smyth.
The legacy of years of abuse and racism though are making it difficult for Canada's indigenous community to heal and move on. Canada will soon launch an inquiry that will focus on why hundreds of indigenous women and girls have gone missing or been murdered over the years.
Canadian and independent studies have revealed that indigenous women and girls are five times more likely to die in violent circumstances than non-indigenous women and girls.
"We're still in a society that targets indigenous women and girls. In fact the national task force concluded that there's a market for indigenous girls," says Redsky, adding, "what that leads to is a society who views indigenous women as less than, and in fact of no human value."

# ? Aug 24, 2016 14:36

Kindest Forums User: Mar 25, 2008; Let me tell you about my opinion about Bernie Sanders and why Donald Trump is his true successor.

You cannot vote Hillary Clinton because she is worse than Trump.

quote:

Canada's indigenous population is very small -- just 4% of the population -- yet more than 50% of all sex trafficking victims in Canada are indigenous.

loving awful

# ? Aug 24, 2016 15:07

EvilJoven: Mar 18, 2005; NOBODY,IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, HAS ASKED OR CARED WHAT CANADA THINKS. YOU ARE NOT A COUNTRY. YOUR MONEY HAS THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND ON IT. IF YOU DIG AROUND IN YOUR BACKYARD, NATIVE SKELETONS WOULD EXPLODE OUT OF YOUR LAWN LIKE THE END OF POLTERGEIST. CANADA IS SO POLITE, EH?; Fun Shoe

I have no problems with people having sex for money but people forcing others to have sex for money is probably one of the lowest things a human being can do. That entire article is loving disgusting except for the fact that for once it appears that the government isn't just making the situation worse by piling a layer of prostitution charges on top of this horrifying situation.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 15:09

InfiniteZero: Sep 11, 2004; PINK GUITAR FIRE ROBOT; College Slice

Heavy neutrino posted:

I honestly don't understand the attitude towards the burkini from both sides.

What I don't understand is why the country that has by far exported the highest number of misplaced testicles I've been forced to witness on beaches in Florida and the Caribbean have appointed themselves the arbiters of what kind of swimwear is most appropriate.

There is most definitely a swimwear crisis going on in France, but it involves hairy humpty dumpty shaped men with half a wedgie and a single ball hanging out rather than islamic women.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 15:17

JawKnee: Mar 24, 2007; You'll take the ride to leave this town along that yellow line

The Dark One posted:

I propose that we replace all cancon with this bot: http://www.canlitgenerator.com/

quote:

A team of Waterloo web developers lay an egg to survive the harsh winter and their failing marriage.

I'm enjoying this far too much

# ? Aug 24, 2016 15:26

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

never happy posted:

loving awful

They're half of the foster care system too.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 15:28

Stickarts: Dec 21, 2003; literally

Not that I am directly equating foster care with residential schools, but FNMI kids have been institutionalised for over a century in this country.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 15:52

Lobok: Jul 13, 2006; Say Watt?

I know the best CanLit generator results should be the ones that sound hilariously close to the truth but I just love the incoherent ones the best. I forget the exact quotes but they were something like:

quote:

A fur trapper escapes the Draft in 1897 because it's 2016.

quote:

A group of writers have to leave Frobisher Bay during the Great Fire of Toronto to help take care of their family during the harsh winter.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 16:26

Reince Penis: Nov 15, 2007; by R. Guyovich

Weird memes coming out of Unifor 2016 conference.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 16:34

Kenny Logins: Jan 11, 2011; EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL.

Lobok posted:

I know the best CanLit generator results should be the ones that sound hilariously close to the truth but I just love the incoherent ones the best. I forget the exact quotes but they were something like:

It's basically Cards Against Humanity but suffused with Canadianity in gentility and content.

quote:

A 21 year-old dissatisfied with their life of privilege tersely abandons their life in the Oil Patch and... I don't know, something about the sins of the father.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 16:41

Scorpio: Feb 19, 2009

Brad Wall doing Brad Wall things.

Premier Brad Wall discusses the potential sale of SaskTel

# ? Aug 24, 2016 17:29

EvilJoven: Mar 18, 2005; NOBODY,IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, HAS ASKED OR CARED WHAT CANADA THINKS. YOU ARE NOT A COUNTRY. YOUR MONEY HAS THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND ON IT. IF YOU DIG AROUND IN YOUR BACKYARD, NATIVE SKELETONS WOULD EXPLODE OUT OF YOUR LAWN LIKE THE END OF POLTERGEIST. CANADA IS SO POLITE, EH?; Fun Shoe

A politician: "Hey everyone let's sell a valuable public utility that keeps service prices low and generates dividends for the province to private interests because private is better!"

A conservative voting base: :thumbsup:

# ? Aug 24, 2016 17:45

David Corbett: Feb 6, 2008; Courage, my friends; 'tis not too late to build a better world.

Kenny Logins posted:

It's basically Cards Against Humanity but suffused with Canadianity in gentility and content.

This is fantastic. My very first go:

quote:

A young couple fall through the ice to find themselves.

Just perfect.

quote:

An unusually tall municipal bureaucrat transforms into a moose, discovering that wilderness can never be really tamed.

How can this not speak to you?

# ? Aug 24, 2016 17:46

Heavy neutrino: Sep 16, 2007; You made a fine post for yourself. ...For a casualry, I suppose.

I'm sure one of you could reasonably star in this one

quote:

An archivist starts a craft brewery, disillusioned with the pace and emptiness of urban living.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 17:56

DariusLikewise: Oct 4, 2008; You wore that on Halloween?

Yas, perfect for my CanFics

quote:

Drake crosses the Rockies and maybe has sex with a bear� unless that was a dream, I never can tell.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 17:58

Monaghan: Dec 29, 2006

Scorpio posted:

Brad Wall doing Brad Wall things.

Premier Brad Wall discusses the potential sale of SaskTel

gently caress I get my cell and my internet from sasktel since I find them way better than any of the competitors. The old conservative trick of selling public goods to resolve a temporary budget shortage strikes again.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 18:02

Postess with the Mostest: Apr 4, 2007; Arabian nights
'neath Arabian moons
A fool off his guard
could fall and fall hard
out there on the dunes

Conservatives firesale valuable infrastructure. Liberals broaden ownership so as to unlock the value of provincial assets to create lasting public benefits and ongoing public protections.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 18:07

Lobok: Jul 13, 2006; Say Watt?

A couple of summer weekends we've spent at a friend's cottage were pretty much CanLit bingo.

Let's see, a downtown Toronto couple disillusioned with the pace and emptiness of urban living travel with a young scion of the Atkinson family to an island cabin on a Group of Seven lake where they find a novel about maybe having sex with a bear -- unless that was a dream, I can never tell.

(Our friend did in fact have an original copy of Bear by Marian Engel at this cabin of hers.)

# ? Aug 24, 2016 18:07

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

BattleMaster posted:

One time I was in a lunch line behind a woman with tight jeans showing off her rear end... and a face veil. I don't really understand religion.

It's often nothing to do with the spirit of the rules/customs but just following them like a checklist. Intentions don't matter, you can apparently rules-lawyer god and as long as you follow (your randomly cherry picked) rules to the letter you're a good person. You should see the amazing rules-lawyering and ridiculous interpretations a lot of orthodox jews do to get around the various rules of their religion, it's actually impressive.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 18:14

PT6A: Jan 5, 2006; Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

Baronjutter posted:

It's often nothing to do with the spirit of the rules/customs but just following them like a checklist. Intentions don't matter, you can apparently rules-lawyer god and as long as you follow (your randomly cherry picked) rules to the letter you're a good person. You should see the amazing rules-lawyering and ridiculous interpretations a lot of orthodox jews do to get around the various rules of their religion, it's actually impressive.

Let's waste energy by having an elevator operate continuously for an entire day, because then God won't be upset that we went in an elevator! But if the button were pushed to summon the elevator, God would be very upset indeed!

# ? Aug 24, 2016 18:18

EvilJoven: Mar 18, 2005; NOBODY,IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, HAS ASKED OR CARED WHAT CANADA THINKS. YOU ARE NOT A COUNTRY. YOUR MONEY HAS THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND ON IT. IF YOU DIG AROUND IN YOUR BACKYARD, NATIVE SKELETONS WOULD EXPLODE OUT OF YOUR LAWN LIKE THE END OF POLTERGEIST. CANADA IS SO POLITE, EH?; Fun Shoe

"If we do it in the rear end I'm technically still a virgin" - a catholic teenage girl

# ? Aug 24, 2016 18:21

PT6A: Jan 5, 2006; Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

EvilJoven posted:

"If we do it in the rear end I'm technically still a virgin" - a catholic teenage girl

Not to mention the many actual priests who apparently don't see any problem with loving children, or protecting people who gently caress children. I think that's a bigger oversight than a teenager doin' it in the loophole.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 18:25

Mad Hamish: Jun 15, 2008; WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.

"A small town preacher raises a sheep that may or may not talk in a squid-jiggin' boat and maybe has sex with a bear� unless that was a dream, I never can tell."

This canlit generator is loving uncanny.

Edit: my God, imagine these as pitches for a garbage sitcom on CBC - you know, one of the painfully unfunny ones.

Mad Hamish fucked around with this message at 18:46 on Aug 24, 2016

# ? Aug 24, 2016 18:31

PT6A: Jan 5, 2006; Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

Mad Hamish posted:

you know, one of the painfully unfunny ones.

Do you mean to imply there are other ones?

# ? Aug 24, 2016 18:47

Lobok: Jul 13, 2006; Say Watt?

Mad Hamish posted:

Edit: my God, imagine these as pitches for a garbage sitcom on CBC - you know, one of the painfully unfunny ones.

One of the sentence fragments is "but in a funny, Little Mosque on the Prairie kind of way" so the CanLit generator already has you covered.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 19:00

DariusLikewise: Oct 4, 2008; You wore that on Halloween?

Baronjutter posted:

It's often nothing to do with the spirit of the rules/customs but just following them like a checklist. Intentions don't matter, you can apparently rules-lawyer god and as long as you follow (your randomly cherry picked) rules to the letter you're a good person. You should see the amazing rules-lawyering and ridiculous interpretations a lot of orthodox jews do to get around the various rules of their religion, it's actually impressive.

Cows are sacred to India, but they have no issues raising them then selling+shipping them to neighboring countries for slaughter.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 19:02

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

PT6A posted:

Do you mean to imply there are other ones?

I quite liked This is Wonderland. Shame it got canned so they could chase the tail of American style reality TV programming.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 19:13

EvilJoven: Mar 18, 2005; NOBODY,IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, HAS ASKED OR CARED WHAT CANADA THINKS. YOU ARE NOT A COUNTRY. YOUR MONEY HAS THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND ON IT. IF YOU DIG AROUND IN YOUR BACKYARD, NATIVE SKELETONS WOULD EXPLODE OUT OF YOUR LAWN LIKE THE END OF POLTERGEIST. CANADA IS SO POLITE, EH?; Fun Shoe

DariusLikewise posted:

Cows are sacred to India, but they have no issues raising them then selling+shipping them to neighboring countries for slaughter.

No problems except if you're in India you may be accused of harming/killing a cow and summarily executed in the street by an unruly mob.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 19:13

PT6A: Jan 5, 2006; Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

Actually, I just remembered Made in Canada, which was good because it made fun of the rest of the CBC's trash television. So that was good too. I wish we could get it streaming, the rights can't possibly cost that much.

EvilJoven posted:

No problems except if you're in India you may be accused of harming/killing a cow and summarily executed in the street by an unruly mob.

I thought that was pretty much like the anti-Jewish pogroms in the Middle Ages -- whatever lies they came up with to incite the mob were simply a bit of lubrication to get rid of people who were inconvenient for one reason or another.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 19:15

Sage Grimm: Feb 18, 2013; Let's go explorin' little dude!

infernal machines posted:

I quite liked This is Wonderland. Shame it got canned so they could chase the tail of American style reality TV programming.

What about Strange Empire? Had a couple good ideas but I had trouble with the plot controlling the characters rather than the other way around. It was canned after a single season in 2014 for no specified reason but personal theory is the budget cuts around the same time.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 19:26

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

I didn't see that, I stopped watching CBC in 2008 or so when they did that programming shift. I haven't really cared to start again.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 19:29

namaste friends: Sep 18, 2004; by Smythe

Mad Hamish posted:

"A small town preacher raises a sheep that may or may not talk in a squid-jiggin' boat and maybe has sex with a bear— unless that was a dream, I never can tell."

This canlit generator is loving uncanny.

Edit: my God, imagine these as pitches for a garbage sitcom on CBC - you know, one of the painfully unfunny ones.

See we don't need Gord Downie

# ? Aug 24, 2016 19:41

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# ? May 29, 2024 05:41

angerbot: Mar 23, 2004; plob

quote:

A woman and her dog tersely conduct a maple syrup heist, but only after multiple scenes of ice skating.

I could see the CBC making this.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 19:42

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