mostlygray posted:

Getting picked on is a thing. It will always be a thing. My daughter gets picked on all the time just as did I in school. She's nerdy and has dyslexia so she's behind in reading. She gets teased for that from time to time. I just remind her to ignore them. They'll go away. It worked for me.

She has a different opinion that seems to work for her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRFJoUBP54o

To quote her in second grade, "You wouldn't think you could hurt someone with a lunchbox..."

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

I yelled at a cafeteria worker (????) and I got put in time out Take THAT you old bag!

Someone Awful! posted:

why do the couples in these fake letters never actually use each others' names? it's always "husband" or "sweetie" or "babe"

hyperhazard posted:

Quora: Have you ever seen the teacher get completely roasted by a student in high school?

Jerry Cotton posted:

if you live in a shithole country where textile crafts isn't mandatory for everyone in elementary school. What kind of person doesn't have a sewing machine license just

(I suspect it wasn't an official license since it was typed onto a piece of cardboard.)

Khazar-khum posted:

Home Economics--sewing & cooking--were only available as electives in middle school. With all the ridiculous emphasis given to testing, STEM, and whatnot, that's gone away.

Also, what kind of hellhole requires you to buy a license for a gotdamned sewing machine?

quote:

There's a rather elderly mountain lion at the zoo I'm friends with, as much as one is ever friends with a large carnivore. When I visit her, she'll come right up to the fence to rub against it while she purrs and chatters as I talk to her. I live a good seventy miles from the zoo now, so I don't get out there as often as I used to. The last time I went to the zoo I was almost sure she'd passed on, since she'd been old and I hadn't seen her in nearly a year. But she came running up to the fence yelling at me when I walked by the cougar pen, and I don't know if it was surprise or relief or what, but the first things I said to her were "Sweetheart, hello! How've you been, pretty? Are you a nice kitty? Yes, you're a very nice kitty! Oh who's my sweet girl?" To an animal that's smaller than usual and still has teeth as long as my finger, and who would probably be pretty damned not-sweet if that fence weren't between us.

quote:

True as it is about Goths, black metal fans are, a hell of a lot of the time, freakin' nutty, and their fashion happens to coincide with Goth fashion a lot. This Troper happens to be a black metal fan, and, well...he chased his friends with a knife last Saturday. Yeah.

quote:

This troper, despite having a degree and certifications for computer repair and networking, has recently entered his sixth year as an employee of McDonald's. Deadpan snarking over the obliviousness and unbelievable lack of intelligence or common sense in nine out of ten coworkers, often to their faces, has become the only viable coping mechanism.

quote:

This troper combines the Deadpan Snarker with the Cloudcukoolander in an incredibly dangerous and hysterical way. A personal favorite is whenever someone says "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me," just hit them with a dictionary. Did this in American Lit class, wound up one of the most popular kids in the class for the rest of the year.

Fathis Munk posted:

The last line makes me think the "license" was something handed to him by the school.

In my school in France they never offered crafts classes. I probably wouldn't have taken them, but now I realise that knowing how to sew would actually be pretty drat useful

Also the lady from the quora story has no idea what roasting is. She didn't humiliate the teacher, she just psychotically yelled at her.

Khazar-khum posted:

It isn't hard to learn. Most fabric stores have lessons. I didn't learn until after I got married, when Mr Khazar taught me.

Ytlaya posted:

While reading that something about the writing style/content made me think the writer was a girl, and it turns out I was right. Does anyone know why that might be? I can't point to anything specific that made me think that way, but something about the content and way it was written strongly gave me that impression (and this has also been the case with other random internet writing, usually stdh type stuff). Maybe it's sort of like how certain handwriting looks like it was written by a woman, but applied to overall writing style and content.

Khazar-khum posted:

Knife

dirksteadfast posted:

What is this story other than "I am psychotic, and not in a quirky way"? And what does that have to do with dressing like a goth? Does this person know what a story even is?

Khazar-khum posted:

Dictionary

tacodaemon posted:

What is with all the troper tales that end in a bare "Yeah."?

Khazar-khum posted:

It isn't hard to learn. Most fabric stores have lessons. I didn't learn until after I got married, when Mr Khazar taught me.

Khazar-khum posted:

Degree

quote:

Douchebag Doctor Gets a Surprise (self.ProRevenge)
submitted 2 days ago * by jtjathomps

My wife and I were heavily into the martial arts and powerlifting. We fought in tournaments most every weekend, and lifted a ton of weights. She's of German heritage and over the years has had 4 statewide powerlifting records.

When we were on the brink of getting our black belts, we were working out like crazy people, and super strong and fit, but she started having joint pain and other severe health problems. Doctors thought she possibly had lupus.

We went to a new doctor, and arrived at 8am as scheduled. He arrived at the office an hour late - my wife was feeling bad, and we were both annoyed at how late he was. Even after arriving an hour late, he stood in the hallway on the phone talking with his buddies about his Hawaiian vacation for another 25 minutes. We became more and more annoyed.

Finally he comes in and is examining her, and behaving like a total douchebag. This guy is about 6 feet tall, and weighs about 145lbs. As part of the examination, he squats down onto the balls of his feet, and puts his hands around both ankles, and says "Kick out really hard." She at this time had a 420lb back squat, and had been kicking heavy bags for months.

She glances at me with a big smile and kicks out hard with both legs, sending him reeling across the room and into the sheetrock wall, putting a dent in the wall where his head hit. Clipboards and other things came off the wall, and a nurse rushed in to find out what happened. She of course said "Oh no, I'm SO SORRY, I thought you were ready"

So satisfying.

Turns out she only had a sulfa drug reaction - another doctor figured it out. Happy day all around.

Edit: Dr. reaction.

Oh, um, uhh, ok, umm, no problems with that, um, it's ok, umm, no nurse, everthing is fine, I lost my balance and slipped, umm, ok ok. Just a minute, I'll be back.

ghost emoji posted:

Khazar-khum posted:

Home Economics--sewing & cooking--were only available as electives in middle school. With all the ridiculous emphasis given to testing, STEM, and whatnot, that's gone away.

Also, what kind of hellhole requires you to buy a license for a gotdamned sewing machine?

ghost emoji posted:

Fathis Munk posted:

Tbh I don't know much about walls but I figured a sheet rock wall would be something hard. Here in eurosocialist moonland I definitely would not like to dent a wall with my head.

tacodaemon posted:

What the hell does her German heritage have to do with anything in this story

imgur posted:

Seriously, gently caress you with a flaming crushed-glass pineapple if you do this
by beetlenoodlepoodlebottlespaddledmuddledduddledfuddledfoxinsocks 11h



FP EDIT: Holy crap...didn't realize my personal brand of insanity would resonate like this. Uh...instead of upvotes, donate a dollar to the Salvation Army or Abandoned Children's Fund!

Storytime, kids. Skip if you don't want to read. Just need to vent this because I'm still loving pissed.

We're at Wegmans, which has a lone cashier at each line. Lone person who rings up AND bags all of your stuff. They do the best they can, but they have to keep that line moving. It's the 'burbs version of high traffic at the grocer; All the moms are dragging their crib-lizards around trying to grab what's needed to feed their little twatsnots and the fucktrophy they came from.

Queen Bitch is dressed to the nines in all sorts of non-fucntional finery. $5k Hermes bag etc etc. Had a cart *mounded* with groceries, in a manner that made me wince: yogurt on top of the bread, eggs UNDER a 2lb block of cheese, etc. Proceeds to toss it all slapdash on the conveyor. Poor cashier girl was already clearly stressed, being as careful as she can but desperately trying to get the job DONE. Queen Bitch is on the phone with someone, and proceeds to loudly complain about the cashier, her bagging, her makeup, and generally poo poo-talk her IN THE THIRD PERSON while she's right there. Cashier girl is starting to tear up, is shaking, starts moving faster just trying to get the Bitch GONE. Groceries are piling up on the receiving tray like Mt. McFood.

Me being me, about 45 seconds of this and I lose my poo poo. I walk up, start helping bag the piles of poo poo while loudly complaining about loving worthless oxygen thieves who are too stupid to organize their groceries on the conveyor, have obviously never worked a day in their lives, and who generally survive by hanging off some rich guy's dick. At first poor Cashier Girl looks at me like I'm loving nuts, but after about 10 seconds starts laughing and relaxing a bit. We're making quick progress through Mt. McFood too.

Queen Bitch has stopped talking mid-sentence, and was apparently not actually having a phone conversation. Red in the face, mouth open, and just loving stunned to be on the receiving end. Made my day. Right about when we finish bagging her crap, she scrapes up enough Type 1 neurotransmitters to start gobbling words again, something about how she'll "sue the gently caress out of me, Wegmans, The State of Virginia, Obama, The Moon People etc..." "my husband is in charge of such-and-such" which is basically DYKWIA. Always a favorite.

It's important to note that while I'm a well-educated man nowadays, I was a dumb enlisted Marine for 12 years. You learn as an NCO, and especially as an SNCO, to be very good at getting in someone's face with the knifehand and breaking them down mentally. Interpersonal confrontation isn't a big deal for us, because it's practically a job description bullet.

I move just inside her personal bubble and explain that her groceries are bagged in the manner in which she placed them, that her behavior toward Cashier girl is loving disgraceful, and that she needs to pay and get out. And that I don't care if her sperm donor is the the President of the Galaxy. She's apparently used to people being cowed and doesn't have a scrap of personal courage, because she backs off and starts paying.

Yeah, people were staring but fuckem. Manager Boy has arrived by this point, but the poor kid isn't much older than Cashier Girl and is so very out of his depth here. He keeps quiet but stands next to Cashier Girl, Queen Bitch pays and drags her grocery barge out of the store. Show's over, back to business. I hope her eggs are shell-n-yolk soup.

The smile on Cashier Girl's face made it worth it though.

TL;DR: If you want your groceries bagged a certain loving way, put them on the belt that way. Your economic status doesn't make you 'better' than other humans. And OP has an apparent lack of concern for social niceties.

ghost emoji posted:

Henchman of Santa posted:

quote:

This Troper once completely inadvertently gave one to a woman at one of my old retail jobs. It was a super stressful time at a job I was fed up with enough that I was only weeks away from handing in my resignation. A woman walked in who loudly and very seriously announced that she was there to give us a problem, and launched into a tirade. Except after a couple of second of me looking at her she would stop or pause in the middle of sentences, and began nervously asking things like "You're not having a very good day, are you" and quickly moderated her tone. By the end of the interaction she was unconsciously flinching while I was very politely helping her. The fact that less than a week earlier I'd received a large gash right below my eye and the stitches were still in might have helped...

quote:

This Troper has, after significantly bad days, had his teachers back down from Death Glares when they try to get in to his business.

quote:

This troper empathizes. Childhood depression in elementary school (yes, that young) left him with a permanent frown-shaped mouth (even when neutral emotionally), and he was born with sunken, "Benicio del Toro" eyes. Very often he merely looks bored or excessively tired, but he often gives death glares without meaning to. When asked by acquaintances how he accomplishes such an iconic stare, he replies, "I just tilt my head down and look out from under my eyebrows." Instant movie villain. On the bright side, I once used it on a canoe trip to scare off someone who interrupted my story by slapping me hard on my back and ribs at the same time. Pause. Glare. Glare. Glare. Person's smile slowly fades and he walks away sheepishly. Continue story. Instant Crowning Moment of Awesome.

quote:

While this troper is... well, way too shy to have a Death Glare, her father is a different story. His glare might not be that intimidating on its own, but he compounds it by talking in a very, very reasonable tone, and he does not back down until he gets what he's looking for. Employees get their managers, managers sweat and become conciliatory. This troper really wishes she was more like him.

quote:

Once when this troper was but a wee little high school freshman on a "freshman firday," a group of juniors sat down at my lunch table (I had just moved there and thus didn't know anyone yet, although I don't usually make the attempt anyway) demanding that I let them "mark" me with the traditional magic marker "F." Now, I have been known to have a deep hatred of face-painting and other sort of body markings, so naturally I told them no. They insisted, saying it was a tradition, to which I replied it was also illegal without consent. About 15 seconds of a death stare eventually made them mutter "forget this kid" and leave. I call it a victory since when I was a junior freshman never got away with stuff like that

ghost emoji posted:

my personal brand of insanity
crib-lizards
twatsnots
fucktrophy
non-fucntional finery
Me being me, about 45 seconds of this and I lose my poo poo.
loving worthless oxygen thieves
was apparently not actually having a phone conversation.
Type 1 neurotransmitters
while I'm a well-educated man nowadays, I was a dumb enlisted Marine for 12 years. You learn as an NCO, and especially as an SNCO, to be very good at getting in someone's face with the knifehand and breaking them down mentally. Interpersonal confrontation isn't a big deal for us, because it's practically a job description bullet.
sperm donor
Yeah, people were staring but fuckem.
The smile on Cashier Girl's face made it worth it though.
And OP has an apparent lack of concern for social niceties.

Khazar-khum posted:

Once when this troper was but a wee little high school freshman on a "freshman firday," a group of juniors sat down at my lunch table (I had just moved there and thus didn't know anyone yet, although I don't usually make the attempt anyway) demanding that I let them "mark" me with the traditional magic marker "F." Now, I have been known to have a deep hatred of face-painting and other sort of body markings, so naturally I told them no. They insisted, saying it was a tradition, to which I replied it was also illegal without consent. About 15 seconds of a death stare eventually made them mutter "forget this kid" and leave. I call it a victory since when I was a junior freshman never got away with stuff like that

Fathis Munk posted:

OH MY GOD I loving LOVE THIS STORY.

This is such a bingo card of bullshit. Childfree, white knighting the poor girl, "I'm clever but don't care about society's norms maaaan", ex-Marine, rad insults, dumb slut girl. Even some pretty dubious meme usage.

It has it all man

quote:

Douchebag Doctor Gets a Surprise (self.ProRevenge)
submitted 2 days ago * by jtjathomps

Fathis Munk posted:

Uh, be strong punch hard.

It's not rocket science