Breaking News: Batman vs Superman is bad

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Breaking News: Batman vs Superman is bad

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

WampaLord posted:

Was there a reason Zod had to pick Earth to terraform? If he had gone and terraformed Mars to make it the new Krypton, no one would have given a poo poo.

I'm also reminded of the fact that later on, Lois has one of the worst exposition lines ever "Terraforming? What's that?"

He needed the biomass from all the people and plants and animals of earth to make new stuff. That's why he's crushing everything up with the World Engine Thing

You gotta break a few eggs to make a new planet

# ? Aug 25, 2016 16:27

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 14:15

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Zod did nothing wrong. He tried to save his people from extinction and an unthinking, brutish traitor stood in his way.

# ? Aug 25, 2016 19:18

Nefarious 2.0: Apr 22, 2008; Offense is overrated anyway.

hey we have a planet that gives our species superpowers and an endless supply of slaves. let's kill them all and terraform it so it's like our old planet which was such a piece of poo poo it shattered

# ? Aug 25, 2016 19:21

Glass Joe: Mar 9, 2007

Mordja posted:

There's something kind of telling about the fact that this thread is still around but the Suicide Squad one is nowhere to be seen, but I'm not sure what it is.

This thread will not die until at least the JL thread inevitably appears.

hell, if that one dude is right then until the WW thread

# ? Aug 25, 2016 20:56

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Plucky Brit posted:

Then at the end of those six months having god-like powers.

he's not terraforming the yellow sun

# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:07

JediTalentAgent: Jun 5, 2005; Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

Moridin920 posted:

he's not terraforming the yellow sun

He could terraform the atmosphere to filter out yellow sunlight and leave the planet overcast in a red glow.

# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:08

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

This is the DC cinematic universe mega thread. It's ok, man.

# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:18

JediTalentAgent: Jun 5, 2005; Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

You know, this feels very much like a Brainiac plot now that I hear it described again.

Brainiac rollin' up, destroying Earth, etc. rather than Zod. I'm sure there will be someone who will say, "No, Zod IS Brainiac because..."

# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:30

Burning_Monk: Jan 11, 2005; Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to know

Moridin920 posted:

he's not terraforming the yellow sun

I thought the DCU explanation is "nutrient rich atmosphere" not "yellow sun" like in the comics. (both being really dumb reasons for superpowers).

# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:30

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

Right, rich in nutrients such as nitrogen, unlike the atmospheres of other planets.

# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:31

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

JediTalentAgent posted:

You know, this feels very much like a Brainiac plot now that I hear it described again.

Brainiac rollin' up, destroying Earth, etc. rather than Zod. I'm sure there will be someone who will say, "No, Zod IS Brainiac because..."

DC and the WB's "no nerds" policy has had them repurposing Braniac stories to other characters for like a decade, and I"m pretty sure the last time Brainiac showed up he was built like Sagat from Street Fighter.

# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:32

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Krypton was a really poo poo planet all around. I'm glad it's gone.

# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:32

JediTalentAgent: Jun 5, 2005; Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

It's methane, CFCs and other pollutants that give kryptonians their superpowers. Jor-El was basing his assumption on the readings of Earth from the the rise of the modern industrial era.

Superman is literally Capt. Pollution from Capt. Planet.

# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:35

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

Kryptonians intentionally depowered themselves so the most reasonable explanation would be something artificial they added to their atmosphere.

# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:37

JediTalentAgent: Jun 5, 2005; Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

Fluoride: It's how even Clark Kent gets cavities.

# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:41

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Burning_Monk posted:

I thought the DCU explanation is "nutrient rich atmosphere" not "yellow sun" like in the comics. (both being really dumb reasons for superpowers).

i go by smallville rules all that other poo poo can go gently caress itself

# ? Aug 25, 2016 21:44

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Maybe the Kryptonians knew that having a race of flying God-men couldn't possibly turn out for good in the long run and made a sacrifice of their potential for personal power for the sake of their childrens' future.

# ? Aug 25, 2016 23:42

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

Pvt.Scott posted:

Krypton was a really poo poo planet all around. I'm glad it's gone.

Listen here, bud...

Krypton deserved 9/11

# ? Aug 26, 2016 01:58

Capntastic: Jan 13, 2005; A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

Burning_Monk posted:

I thought the DCU explanation is "nutrient rich atmosphere" not "yellow sun" like in the comics. (both being really dumb reasons for superpowers).

Proof that DC doesn't know poo poo about atmosphere

# ? Aug 26, 2016 02:42

Nirvikalpa: Aug 20, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Germstore posted:

Kryptonians intentionally depowered themselves so the most reasonable explanation would be something artificial they added to their atmosphere.

When did they say this?

# ? Aug 26, 2016 03:03

achillesforever6: Apr 23, 2012; psst you wanna do a communism?

Zzulu posted:

He needed the biomass from all the people and plants and animals of earth to make new stuff. That's why he's crushing everything up with the World Engine Thing

You gotta break a few eggs to make a new planet

But Mars in the DC universe has Martians

# ? Aug 26, 2016 03:05

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

achillesforever6 posted:

But Mars in the DC universe has Martians

The current creative heads of the DC Movies said at a convention, and I quote "ok who here knows who the Martian Manhunter is?" *nerds raise their hands* "Ok now who here has had sex?"

# ? Aug 26, 2016 03:10

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

Nirvikalpa posted:

When did they say this?

I'm pretty sure the World Engine was mentioned as a tool of the Kryptonian Empire. I can't actually find anything about them intentionally depowering themselves though, so I may be mistaken.

# ? Aug 26, 2016 03:19

Ork of Fiction: Jul 22, 2013

Young Freud posted:

It's been archived at this point, but Terry Van Feleday (I got the name sort of wrong) spun it off into a separate PDF since it got some attention outside of the thread. You can find a copy on Google Docs, Scribd and PDF Archive.

I think only the thread where he/she continued it is still available and it's just largely the last act of TF3, but I believe that's also covered in the the PDF. I don't think Feleday got around to reviewing the fourth film, although the fifth film looks like it should probably bring Feleday back to review both of them.

Edit: I did not know that thread was still active.

I wonder what the secret significance is of all the explosions being big gasoline fireballs? Maybe something about the Middle EAst?? INCREDibLE!!

# ? Aug 26, 2016 04:02

Nirvikalpa: Aug 20, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Faora says some bullshit statement about evolution and morality, probably to point out just how moral Superman is. Her voice is hot though.

Superman is still angry.

The military is doing their thing. For some reason, unlike in other superhero movies, they play a very prominent role. Superman saves a guy in a helicopter. You know this is going to happen because the music changes. This shows he is capable of helping people but he refuses to do so for the rest of the movie because he is too concentrated on beating the bad guys up.

Some guy tries to go after Faora with a knife after his gun doesn't work. Luckily for the guy Superman pushes her out of the way first. A bullet manages to take Faora out, but Zod(?) arrives and carefully takes her back onto the ship. It's a more caring gesture than what Clark does in the entire movie.

One of the military men has to tell the rest that "This men is not our enemy." Clark only says "Thank you, colonel" before blasting off. Unsurprisingly it is all very grim.

Why is the codex in Superman's body again?

I still have 40 minutes left.

# ? Aug 26, 2016 11:36

ahrehrejhejajaj: Aug 26, 2016; by zen death robot

Germstore posted:

I'm pretty sure the World Engine was mentioned as a tool of the Kryptonian Empire. I can't actually find anything about them intentionally depowering themselves though, so I may be mistaken.

dang gently caress comic books didnt cover EVERY EXPLANATION

HOW CAN THAT BE

COMICS ARE LIFE IN MY BASEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [/jeff k]

# ? Aug 26, 2016 11:38

G-III: Mar 4, 2001

Nirvikalpa posted:

Faora says some bullshit statement about evolution and morality, probably to point out just how moral Superman is. Her voice is hot though.

Superman is still angry.

The military is doing their thing. For some reason, unlike in other superhero movies, they play a very prominent role. Superman saves a guy in a helicopter. You know this is going to happen because the music changes. This shows he is capable of helping people but he refuses to do so for the rest of the movie because he is too concentrated on beating the bad guys up.

Some guy tries to go after Faora with a knife after his gun doesn't work. Luckily for the guy Superman pushes her out of the way first. A bullet manages to take Faora out, but Zod(?) arrives and carefully takes her back onto the ship. It's a more caring gesture than what Clark does in the entire movie.

One of the military men has to tell the rest that "This men is not our enemy." Clark only says "Thank you, colonel" before blasting off. Unsurprisingly it is all very grim.

Why is the codex in Superman's body again?

I still have 40 minutes left.

Stop now and save yourself

# ? Aug 26, 2016 20:13

Myrddin_Emrys: Mar 27, 2007; by Hand Knit

Pvt.Scott posted:

This is the DC cinematic universe mega thread. It's ok, man.

In that case I shall leave this trailer of awesome right here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0jBRFNAXr8

# ? Aug 26, 2016 20:24

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

Mordja posted:

There's something kind of telling about the fact that this thread is still around but the Suicide Squad one is nowhere to be seen, but I'm not sure what it is.

Hell if I know, man. I just previewed the awful thing.

# ? Aug 26, 2016 20:49

bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Myrddin_Emrys posted:

In that case I shall leave this trailer of awesome right here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0jBRFNAXr8

TO THE CROSSWALK!

How is DC capable of delivering this quality, but also responsible for the abortion of The Killing Joke? The art in TKJ is hoooorrible

# ? Aug 26, 2016 22:06

Young Freud: Nov 26, 2006

Myrddin_Emrys posted:

In that case I shall leave this trailer of awesome right here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0jBRFNAXr8

I'm a bit disappointed that they didn't give the Joker a white mustache, because that's an almost dead-on likeness of Ceasar Romero that it feels he's missing something without the white catepillar on his upper lip.

# ? Aug 26, 2016 22:50