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"A bacon rose with jerky stem"  "We found a tub of bacon and sausage on the side of the road"     
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Aug 26, 2016 11:05
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Chicken Harmesan.
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Aug 26, 2016 11:19
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Picnic Princess posted:When I was a kid we had mice in our trailer, and my mom burned one to death in our toaster. We couldn't afford a new one for a couple of paycheques. I used to take frozen waffles, put my lips around them, and breathe into them to thaw them and eat them like that. It was okay because they were the fancy cinnamon ones and they tasted fairly okay. Similar story. My wife and I had a deep fryer that we stored in the kitchen beneath the sink (fatal error #1), that we rarely used. There were a string of dinners that we did in fact use it (fish & chips, and a couple of others) so she decided just to keep the oil in the fryer after it had cooled down, and then covered it with it's barely functional storage "lid" (fatal error #2). We live in a 116yo house that has more entrances for mice than probably could ever be quantified. Anyway, on the evening of the next meal that required some deep frying, she took the thing out, placed it on the counter, and plugged it in to warm up. Some 15 minutes or so later, I walk by and notice that it was not only preheated, but happily frying away. Lifted the top, and... yep. Jerry mouse was somehow so turned on by the smell that he decided to take a dip, and consequently drowned, prior to being fried. My wife freaked out so bad she made me take the whole thing outside to the back vegetable garden, and bury it (while she watched).
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Aug 26, 2016 13:51
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Picnic Princess posted:That's exactly it. I have so many horrible stories but looking back on them, they're so utterly ridiculous that it's okay to laugh at it now. I know, right? It's hard to pick a favorite. When we were kids, my little sister and I used to "borrow" dent corn from the farmer's field next door and feed squirrels with it, so we could watch them out our living room window (because what the gently caress else is there to do in a trailer in the middle of nowhere). One day, grandpa went out hunting. When he got back, he told the two of us youngins that he didn't kill anything, but we all sat down to dinner that evening to delicious plates of "fried chicken." Seriously, how hilarious is a phone call almost two decades later from a frazzled sibling who had just then put two and two together yelling "OH MY GOD FAI WE WERE EATING SQUIRRELS" I was curious, so I looked up the nutrition facts. That meal contains approximately 76,000 grams of sodium.
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Aug 26, 2016 15:20
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Processed food: literally made out of Lot's obese wife.
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Aug 26, 2016 16:35
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It's not even poverty, living in the country can just do weird poo poo to people. My dad worked data security for one of the world's largest banks and I still remember the time him, the neighbor and one of the local cops decided that the way to deal with a rat den on the abandoned lot at the end of the alley was "explosives and beer". Would every drat day of my life. Micheladas are the best.
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Aug 26, 2016 16:44
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BlankIsBeautiful posted:Similar story. My wife and I had a deep fryer that we stored in the kitchen beneath the sink (fatal error #1), that we rarely used. There were a string of dinners that we did in fact use it (fish & chips, and a couple of others) so she decided just to keep the oil in the fryer after it had cooled down, and then covered it with it's barely functional storage "lid" (fatal error #2). We live in a 116yo house that has more entrances for mice than probably could ever be quantified. Anyway, on the evening of the next meal that required some deep frying, she took the thing out, placed it on the counter, and plugged it in to warm up. Some 15 minutes or so later, I walk by and notice that it was not only preheated, but happily frying away. Lifted the top, and... yep. Jerry mouse was somehow so turned on by the smell that he decided to take a dip, and consequently drowned, prior to being fried. Wait, when you say "whole thing" do you mean you buried the deep fryer?
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Aug 26, 2016 18:01
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Sometimes things are just beyond saving, and plus, future generations of archaeologists should work for their money as much as anyone else. Reminds me of this: 
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Aug 26, 2016 18:27
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Cue the story (from an earlier iteration of this thread) of the guy digging into a coconut-covered snack cake when he realized some of the coconut was moving...and finishing it anyway.
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Aug 26, 2016 18:40
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 Not sure what's going on, there.
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Aug 26, 2016 19:09
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pooed in the hole
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Aug 26, 2016 19:12
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French toast a la poo poo Or eggy bread as we call it round our way.
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Aug 26, 2016 19:13
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It bums me out that however well I rinse them any dish cooked with black beans comes out looking like purple diarrhea. quote:What is this? Prison nutraloaf? e: wait, based on the weird squeezed-out-of-a-tube texture, that must be an MRE. RNG has a new favorite as of 20:00 on Aug 26, 2016 |
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Aug 26, 2016 19:44
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It looks like some supremely hosed up tamales to me.
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Aug 26, 2016 19:47
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Polyseme posted:
French toast and chocolate whipped cream or something. And the heat of the toast is causing the chocolate stuff to liquify. Horrifying to look at, but I probably would.
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Aug 26, 2016 20:07
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El Estrago Bonito posted:It's not even poverty, living in the country can just do weird poo poo to people. My dad worked data security for one of the world's largest banks and I still remember the time him, the neighbor and one of the local cops decided that the way to deal with a rat den on the abandoned lot at the end of the alley was "explosives and beer". I live in a city and that sounds like a great afternoon.
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Aug 26, 2016 21:28
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Chantilly Say posted:Wait, when you say "whole thing" do you mean you buried the deep fryer? Yep. Mouse hors d'oeuvre, molten oil, and the entire fryer. It was a Fry Baby:  so it wasn't too big. To say she was slightly traumatized by the event is probably an understatement. Anyway, I dug it up and "disposed of it properly" in the Spring. She does not know this.
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Aug 27, 2016 03:48
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.Z. posted:French toast and chocolate whipped cream or something. And the heat of the toast is causing the chocolate stuff to liquify. French Toast, Nutella and soft serve chocolate yocream. I guarantee this is the result of a freshman set loose on a college dining hall. BlankIsBeautiful posted:Yep. Mouse hors d'oeuvre, molten oil, and the entire fryer. It was a Fry Baby: True story: I knew a girl who's brother used to be very fat and slovenly. He would sit around the house and play WoW for hours in his underwear while eating pizza rolls and mountain dew, complete and total stereotype. Now he's in a much better place and in extremely good shape and the thing that caused his life turn around was one Christmas he received (from three totally different people) three different deep fryers. Two fry baby and one fry daddy. Apparently the tipping point towards fitness was when three different relatives think of you and what immediately comes to mind is "deep fried stuff". El Estrago Bonito has a new favorite as of 06:00 on Aug 27, 2016 |
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Aug 27, 2016 05:57
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Mmmm, nothing like loose corn in the park on hot late August afternoon! (This is in the Netherlands. My Swedish friend saw it and instead of going "what the poo poo" she exclaimed "I love corn!" Europeans man, I tells ya.)
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Aug 27, 2016 09:53
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If those have been heated up I would, easily. I've never had room temperature corn so that might even be fine too. There's nothing wrong with "loose" corn inherently, it just looks sloppy on other dishes.
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Aug 27, 2016 15:26
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In high school there was a girl who would bring a can of whatever kind of vegetable to sports practices or rehearsals or whatever have you, instead of bringing like a thermos of something warmed up or something that is "normal" to eat cold/unheated. She wasn't poor, just "wacky." Just would sit there with a spoon, scooping it straight out of the can, reassured that her life had meaning when people invariably asked/commented about the fact that she was happily sitting there eating artichokes out of a can.
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Aug 27, 2016 15:48
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Ick, just soggy corn straight from a can when it's about 90 degrees out in the hot sun? Heated up, with some butter and pepper on a plate, yes, but not in a can on park bench on the hottest day of the year. It's just bizarre.
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Aug 27, 2016 16:47
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General canned vegetables, and especially corn specifically, have a signature canned vegetable smell due to cooking in an enclosed space during retort generating smelly rear end DMS that has nowhere else to go. This can be fine if after opening you cook it in a way that lets the DMS cook off but cooked or not I don't think there's any way to eat canned corn directly out of the can without getting a huge whiff of DMS. But then I think some people tend to like a strong DMS character. Like I think the greatest generation's obsession with canned vegetables broke some of their brains and they won't eat vegetables that don't smell like a cabbage farm.
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Aug 27, 2016 16:50
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90 degrees isn't even that hot...
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Aug 27, 2016 16:54
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Thank god for the internet, you can find a video of anyone drinking anything https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkidA93NN3U
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Aug 27, 2016 17:03
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Pomp posted:90 degrees isn't even that hot... Celsius.
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Aug 27, 2016 17:36
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Pomp posted:90 degrees isn't even that hot... Too hot to be eating uncooked canned corn. 90 degrees is cob weather and i pity if you disagree
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Aug 27, 2016 17:42
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If this were the pet peeve thread I'd post "people who post a bunch of acronyms/jargon without saying what they mean". I'm not a canned food expert I have no idea what DMS is. Canned vegetables in general suck but at least in my experience corn is one of the more tolerable varieties of canned vegetables. Canned green beans though, those are an abomination.
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Aug 27, 2016 18:37
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Damned Metal Smell?
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Aug 27, 2016 18:51
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Murphy Brownback posted:If this were the pet peeve thread I'd post "people who post a bunch of acronyms/jargon without saying what they mean". I'm not a canned food expert I have no idea what DMS is. Canned vegetables in general suck but at least in my experience corn is one of the more tolerable varieties of canned vegetables. Canned green beans though, those are an abomination. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dimethyl_sulfide My Google worked so you're welcome
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Aug 27, 2016 18:58
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sweeperbravo posted:Too hot to be eating uncooked canned corn. 90 degrees is cob weather and i pity if you disagree Roasted cobs with butter and seasoning of your choice. It's the one time of the year you can walk around outside gnawing on something delicious like a wild animal and not look goofy doing it, like the giant turkey legs at the county fair.
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Aug 27, 2016 19:12
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Canned green beans have one good use - mixing in with dry dog food when your dog gets too fat. Ours gobbles it right up without complaint. Before we just feed her less than she had but she whined and whined about getting less.
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Aug 27, 2016 19:13
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GOTTA STAY FAI posted:Eh, I'd better not risk it. Though I had a GBS thread open when I ran the numbers, so don't think it's all your fault. I would throw those chips into an empty bag of papa john's pizza box flavored kettle chips and smash it into the trash so it didn't take up too much room.
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Aug 27, 2016 20:18
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BlankIsBeautiful posted:Yep. Mouse hors d'oeuvre, molten oil, and the entire fryer. It was a Fry Baby: You had a perfectly good chance to say mouse d'oeuvre and you didn't. Ten points from Gryffindor.
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Aug 27, 2016 20:29
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 Vegan "Hawaiian" pizza. It looks like slices of bologna. 
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Aug 27, 2016 21:29
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Lackey posted:
I'd happily eat a Bologna pizza. But what kind of monster sprinkles fresh crap over a cooked pizza pie? That's just not right, man, not right at all.
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Aug 27, 2016 21:32
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You're wrong! Fresh rucola atop a pizza is a wonderful thing!
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Aug 27, 2016 21:36
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And tomato and cucumber slices!
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Aug 27, 2016 22:11
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angerbeet posted:You had a perfectly good chance to say mouse d'oeuvre and you didn't. Ten points from Gryffindor.
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Aug 27, 2016 22:18
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steinrokkan posted:I'd happily eat a Bologna pizza. But what kind of monster sprinkles fresh crap over a cooked pizza pie? That's just not right, man, not right at all. Pizza Hut's terrible attempt to capture the millennial market has been mentioned in this thread before, but one of the toppings they added to their menu was spinach (so exotic!). I decided to try it out one night and ordered some spinach alfredo thing. The spinach was just baby spinach straight out of the fridge, laid end to end of top of the pizza. Like it wasn't even warm after sitting on the pizza for 10 minutes, just some room-temperature little spinach leaves floating on pizza grease. The honey-sriracha sauce pizza with chicken, pineapples, and "peruvian cherry peppers" (pimientos) my roommate ordered was alright, but it just inspired us to make a similar pizza with real peppers and a sauce that didn't taste like flavored corn syrup. I can't wait to live in a town with actual restaurants again.
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Aug 27, 2016 22:18
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