Vaping MEGATHREAD - old man yells at icloud - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Vaping MEGATHREAD - old man yells at icloud

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FAT32 SHAMER: Aug 16, 2012

Citizen Tayne posted:

it's actually the only good linux

# ? Aug 28, 2016 03:25

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# ? May 21, 2024 04:57

heated game moment: Oct 30, 2003; Lipstick Apathy

Ghost Farts posted:

How long will it take for The Verge to like dongle? 2 days
Will dongle be a success? Yes
Total Apple dongle sales: 500 bn USD
Total Samsung dongle phones over the next two years: 3000
Total deaths of people who starved while waiting for the new iPhone 7 Plus Pro: 15 dead
Will this cause waiting Apple users to leave the lines? No
Will dongle come in rosegold? No
Will Apple introduce a dongle to attach two dongles to one dongle?: Yes
Will Apple introduce dongle as "incredible, awesome, amazing"? Yes
Will the media refer to the introduction of dongle as "donglegate"? No
-If yes; will Apple retaliate harshly? Yes
Will Tim sacrifice Jonny (make him introduce dongle/move him to sales)? No
Will LG subsequently introduce a donglephone that supports 8 dongles simultaneously? Yes
Will Google do anything silly like try for modular dongles? Yes
Will a fake dongle cause a series of fires? Yes
How long will the dongle trend persist? ~15 years
Will Steve Jobs rise from the dead to prevent dongle?No
In the long run, will dongle be good or bad for the world? Good

We have to look at what those user casualties are- just because they're likely doesn't make them innocent! Lets take a look at a few possibilities:

1) A civilian walking down the street to market gets killed by a truck while fiddling for dongle.

2) A civilian asleep in their house is killed when their house catches fire due to a fake dongle.

OK, these two are regrettable innocents being killed- but since Apple doesn't make a habit of targetting poors who walk or buy fake accessories, they're very small in number!

3) An Android user working at a hackerspace gets electrocuted when he plugs a dongle into an electrical outlet.

4) A Chinese preparing a shipment of fake dongles sold on Aliexpress is killed when the shipment explodes.

5) A non-certified tech repairing an iPhone 7 Pro Plus is killed when a dongle shorts.

6) A YouTuber bleeds to death from a paper cut while unboxing dongle.

7) A techbro chokes to death on a dongle that fell into his Soylent without him noticing.

etc, etc. The list goes on. My point is that there are a lot of dipshit poors and idiots supporting non-Apple approved solutions that aren't exactly "innocent" and whose death would rightly please Apple. I'm an Apple user who jailbroke his iPhone and work for a ridesharing but for goldfishes startup, but I acknowledge I'm also a tremendous idiot hellfucker because of what I do. And I think the vast majority of user casualties will not be innocent.

uncurable mlady posted:

cremnob banned with normal use

good work everyone

# ? Aug 28, 2016 03:45

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

Citizen Tayne posted:

it's actually the only good linux

well its definitely a Linux, but its not good.

# ? Aug 28, 2016 04:04

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Shaggar posted:

well its definitely a Linux, but its not good.

In the big list of Linuxes, it's the best.

# ? Aug 28, 2016 04:05

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

its the best desktop Linux, but you'd have to be a crazy person to use desktop Linux

# ? Aug 28, 2016 04:07

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Shaggar posted:

its the best desktop Linux, but you'd have to be a crazy person to use desktop Linux

macos desktop is nice

Could you imagine using a desktop X11 linux though? lmao. holy poo poo

# ? Aug 28, 2016 04:07

atomicthumbs: Dec 26, 2010; We're in the business of extending man's senses.

macintosh users: "buy this 2012 audi for $99999"
windows users: "I would rather buy the 2016 Toyota. It's faster, cheaper, more reliable, and just makes more sense."

# ? Aug 28, 2016 06:11

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

atomicthumbs posted:

macintosh users: "buy this 2012 audi for $99999"
windows users: "I would rather buy the 2016 Toyota. It's faster, cheaper, more reliable, and just makes more sense."

quoting this just because of how dumb it is.

# ? Aug 28, 2016 06:18

Joe 30330: Dec 20, 2007; "We have this notion that if you're poor, you cannot do it. Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids."

As the audience reluctantly began to applaud during the silence, Biden tried to fix his remarks.

"Wealthy kids, black kids, Asian kids -- no, I really mean it." Biden said.

atomicthumbs posted:

macintosh users: "buy this 2012 audi for $99999"
windows users: "I would rather buy the 2016 Toyota. It's faster, cheaper, more reliable, and just makes more sense."

# ? Aug 28, 2016 06:28

jony neuemonic: Nov 13, 2009

every decent windows laptop costs more than an equivalent macbook so i dunno what you're all on about.

# ? Aug 28, 2016 06:31

GameCube: Nov 21, 2006

atomicthumbs posted:

macintosh users: "buy this 2012 audi for $99999"
windows users: "I would rather buy the 2016 Toyota. It's faster, cheaper, more reliable, and just makes more sense."

i'm considering every possible irony level this post might be on, and it's great on all of them. great post, i love it.

# ? Aug 28, 2016 06:32

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

Citizen Tayne posted:

macos desktop is nice

Could you imagine using a desktop X11 linux though? lmao. holy poo poo

my laptop dual-boots into ubuntu with an lxde session specifically because i think linux should look like the radiotelescope monitors in Contact

none of these crappy effects and bubble icons, just 256-color square-edged window widgets and fixed-width fonts everywhere

# ? Aug 28, 2016 06:41

Satellit3: Oct 21, 2008

zen death robot posted:

can't spell Windows 10 without "win"

# ? Aug 28, 2016 12:58

maniacdevnull: Apr 18, 2007; FOUR CUBIC FRAMES
DISPROVES SOFT G GOD
YOU ARE EDUCATED STUPID

Citizen Tayne posted:

In the big list of Linuxes, it's the best.

Tallest midget, cleanest porta potty, etc

Also lol your av, fackin ell

# ? Aug 28, 2016 14:56

lord funk: Feb 16, 2004

zen death robot posted:

can't spell Windows 10 without "win"

windows dows what macos dosnt

# ? Aug 28, 2016 14:57

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

jony neuemonic posted:

every decent windows laptop costs more than an equivalent macbook so i dunno what you're all on about.

well yeah I guess if you were to have a currently hypothetical decent Windows laptop actually manufactured as a one-off it would be very expensive.

# ? Aug 28, 2016 16:59

Syncopated: Oct 21, 2010

lord funk posted:

windows dos what macosn't

# ? Aug 28, 2016 18:01

Endless Mike: Aug 13, 2003

macs are the only decent laptops and since windows 10 is free as in stickers (and as in speech), a decent windows laptop costs exactly as much as a mac

# ? Aug 28, 2016 19:08

Beast of Bourbon: Sep 25, 2013; Pillbug

the only reason to buy a pc laptop (instead of a macbook running windows) is if you are a fortune 50 company and need to roll out cheap garbage to your 250,000 employees world wide and literally don't care if they function or not, since you're buying 500,000 and just swapping them out when they break.

# ? Aug 28, 2016 19:53

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Beast of Bourbon posted:

the only reason to buy a pc laptop (instead of a macbook running windows) is if you are a fortune 50 company and need to roll out cheap garbage to your 250,000 employees world wide and literally don't care if they function or not, since you're buying 500,000 and just swapping them out when they break.

literally what my company does, they buy some kind of HP laptop and as soon as you have any sort of problem at all they give you a new one.

# ? Aug 28, 2016 20:08

French Canadian: Feb 23, 2004; Fluffy cat sensory experience

What's the deal with this touchscreen failure on the iPhone 6? Or did we already beat that horse to death 5 pages ago?

# ? Aug 29, 2016 17:15

Sniep: Mar 28, 2004; All I needed was that fatty blunt...

King of Breakfast

https://twitter.com/JoannaStern/status/770291561678725120

headphone port?'
[ ] Y
[ ] N

# ? Aug 29, 2016 17:20

Celexi: Nov 25, 2006; Slava Ukraini!

French Canadian posted:

What's the deal with this touchscreen failure on the iPhone 6? Or did we already beat that horse to death 5 pages ago?

don't trigger yosposters bad purchase decisions

# ? Aug 29, 2016 17:21

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

Sniep posted:

https://twitter.com/JoannaStern/status/770291561678725120

headphone port?'
[ ] Y
[ ] N

wheres the comedy "headphone port is on the apple watch" option

# ? Aug 29, 2016 17:31

Beast of Bourbon: Sep 25, 2013; Pillbug

hobbesmaster posted:

wheres the comedy "headphone port is on the apple watch" option

i pushed that hard before it came out and everyone said it would never happen.

i'm guessing it will be through the digital crown thing.

# ? Aug 29, 2016 17:32

r u ready to WALK: Sep 29, 2001

You don't need headphones, the apple watch has a speaker already so you simply wear a watch on each arm and hold them up to your ears

# ? Aug 29, 2016 17:44

Asymmetric POSTer: Aug 17, 2005

new iphone is gonna wirelessly stimulate your eardrums

# ? Aug 29, 2016 17:51

Stymie: Jan 9, 2001; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

i wonder if tim is now at the phase of his tenure where he's wondering just how far apple customers will go buying products that are or have obvious bad decisions as part of the design

"haha let's make them buy a lovely smartwatch"

"haha let's take away the headphone jack"

"haha let's make a huuuuuge ipad"

# ? Aug 29, 2016 17:55

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

"haha let's make them spend $2100 for basically the same computer they have today with a 2016 sticker on it" conspicuously absent

# ? Aug 29, 2016 18:02

THE BIG DOG DADDY: Oct 16, 2013; Rasheed was, with Aliases, the top 7 PvPers in Bone Krew.

No one talks about this.

pretty stoked for spetmeber 7th

# ? Aug 29, 2016 18:05

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

you heard it here first, folks: apple has the power to make people buy devices

# ? Aug 29, 2016 18:08

r u ready to WALK: Sep 29, 2001

I think you meant to say septim cooker 7th

# ? Aug 29, 2016 18:15

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

hobbesmaster posted:

wheres the comedy "headphone port is on the apple watch" option

# ? Aug 29, 2016 18:17

maniacdevnull: Apr 18, 2007; FOUR CUBIC FRAMES
DISPROVES SOFT G GOD
YOU ARE EDUCATED STUPID

hobbesmaster posted:

wheres the increasingly probable "headphone port is on the apple watch" option

# ? Aug 29, 2016 18:29

BangersInMyKnickers: Nov 3, 2004; I have a thing for courageous dongles

hmmm HMMM do I keep trucking with my 5 for another year or upgrade. sell me on your magic phone, timb

# ? Aug 29, 2016 18:29

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

I like my iPhone SE, which I upgraded to from the iPhone 5S.

# ? Aug 29, 2016 18:30

Perplx: Jun 26, 2004; Best viewed on Orgasma Plasma; Lipstick Apathy

Citizen Tayne posted:

I like my iPhone SE, which I upgraded to from the iPhone 5S.

same

# ? Aug 29, 2016 18:32

BangersInMyKnickers: Nov 3, 2004; I have a thing for courageous dongles

I had to do a complete format on my 5 a few weeks ago because the podcasts app was chewing up 5gigs of storage even with all of them deleted but once that was cleaned up its running like new. keep on truckin, little phone

# ? Aug 29, 2016 18:34

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

i have a winphone and its hella win.

# ? Aug 29, 2016 18:36

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# ? May 21, 2024 04:57

Polo-Rican: Jul 4, 2004; emptyquote my posts or die

they should have the event on september 11th because that day is already conveniently associated with disasters

# ? Aug 29, 2016 18:40

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Vaping MEGATHREAD - old man yells at icloud

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