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I'm fairly certain it's weirder if you don't consider suicide at least a couple of times after having your first child. Your life is basically over or at least on hold for the next 18-20 years. I hope you like feigning interest in toys, cartoons and schoolyard drama, because that's gonna be the most exciting, entertaining activity available to you for a long time. Oh, and say goodbye to your savings. You know all that money you've been working off your rear end for? Poof, it's loving gone because Lil Honey Shithead here will not be content just being fed and clothed. She's gonna demand expensive toys, phones and pastimes, and to top that off she'll most likely break a ton of valuable and/or irreplaceable things before too long. People will judge and ostracize you unless your only response to this is 'oh I love my daughter so much, she is the most precious little thing in the whole world.' Don't kill yourself. It gets better as soon as you can get the kid to leave. Your sex life will never get back to normal, but you will once again be able to spend time and money on things that matter to you. Always remember, most people have to go through this at some point in their life. You can do it, too.
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Aug 28, 2016 10:05
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Gimbal lock posted:My sexuality has not been turned into a meme by idiots as far as I know but I'm not the least bit ashamed to say that it totally is sorta hot. Bailey Jay is awesome  Edit: for midget laughing goon, you really owe it to yourself to get over to the Howard Stern Megathread in RGD and learn aaaaalllllll you can about the best thing about the show, Eric the Midget /Eric the Actor. Rupert Buttermilk fucked around with this message at 11:50 on Aug 28, 2016 |
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Aug 28, 2016 11:45
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Porn ED goon, porn cannot give you ED if you're not using it multiple times a day. Anxiety can give you ED, including anxiety over ED. Most anxiety poo poo is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You can indulge yourself a little bit if you make sure to remind yourself that you are not ruining your marriage with your weird hosed-up porn. This is of course a process that will take time and effort.Buttcoin purse posted:I find it concerning that the sad, sad boy has told two different anon confessors to get divorced during the first week of his own marriage. Having second thoughts there bud? The thing is, my marriage is just so much better by comparison Anne Whateley posted:It's long but I read this part differently I read "his behavior" as him being emotionally distant and failing to put any effort whatsoever into his marriage, myself, which changes the implications of the possessive behavior in this case, but either way yeah she needs to break it off. e: because she had already referenced emotional distance as the factor that caused her to cheat
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Aug 28, 2016 13:13
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loquacius posted:e: because she had already referenced emotional distance as the factor that caused her to cheat Yeah, just for that she should divorce. She's a lovely person who tries to blame her partner for her past lovely behavior, and preemptively for her doing it again. Instead of dumping her rear end when she cheated he decided to monitor her 24/7. Whether it's because he's too chickenshit to pull the plug or it's his way to take revenge is immaterial, she'd be doing them both a favor leaving.
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Aug 28, 2016 13:50
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Sad Dad: I'm not a father, so I'm totally talking out of my rear end here, but it sounds like you're a great dad. Faking it to be there for your daughter's first year is great, and once she starts talking and being an actual person it will hopefully get a lot better. Every dad I know has had at least a few months of self doubt. I guess my advice would be get a better a psychiatrist, and keep in mind that even though you think you're screwing up with your daughter all she's gonna remember is her awesome dad loving her and being there for her. You got this buddy!
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Aug 28, 2016 13:59
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Yeah Depressed Dad, I'd imagine that's pretty normal - I know I went through it too, I never felt the whole PARENT-CHILD SUPERBOND until my son was about three or four and became an actual -person- with his own likes, dislikes, personality, etc. I never got my own father to admit it, but I'm pretty sure he was the same way.
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Aug 28, 2016 14:08
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:Bailey Jay is awesome How are you not mention Hank the Angry Dwarf https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPJwDnUiijk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jz98YvU9_co
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Aug 28, 2016 14:33
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Bonzo posted:How are you not mention Hank the Angry Dwarf Bonzo, you know that I'm somewhat obsessed with ETM (and the prank calls).
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Aug 28, 2016 14:56
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KomodoWagon posted:I'm fairly certain it's weirder if you don't consider suicide at least a couple of times after having your first child. Your life is basically over or at least on hold for the next 18-20 years. I hope you like feigning interest in toys, cartoons and schoolyard drama, because that's gonna be the most exciting, entertaining activity available to you for a long time. Oh, and say goodbye to your savings. You know all that money you've been working off your rear end for? Poof, it's loving gone because Lil Honey Shithead here will not be content just being fed and clothed. She's gonna demand expensive toys, phones and pastimes, and to top that off she'll most likely break a ton of valuable and/or irreplaceable things before too long. People will judge and ostracize you unless your only response to this is 'oh I love my daughter so much, she is the most precious little thing in the whole world.' Shut up.
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Aug 28, 2016 16:22
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Lol if you don't recognize that being a parent provides so much meaning to life to make it worth living. Not everyone has to have kids and nothing wrong with refusing to have kids, but it is legit infuriating/rewarding. Source: dad with another one on the way literally any day now.
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Aug 28, 2016 16:46
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Jastiger posted:Lol if you don't recognize that being a parent provides so much meaning to life to make it worth living. Not everyone has to have kids and nothing wrong with refusing to have kids, but it is legit infuriating/rewarding. children of the corn farmer
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Aug 28, 2016 17:00
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Jastiger posted:Lol if you don't recognize that being a parent provides so much meaning to life to make it worth living. Not everyone has to have kids and nothing wrong with refusing to have kids, but it is legit infuriating/rewarding. b-b-but diapers cut into the anime figurine budget!!!
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Aug 28, 2016 17:04
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Otisburg posted:b-b-but diapers cut into the anime figurine budget!!! It's funny how a lot of people who don't have kids bring up diapers as the first thing that sucks about having a kid, or is the most troublesome aspect (not saying you were, just made me think of it). No, that poo poo (heh) is literally the easiest thing to deal with. It's making sure they don't die about 23 times per day that's nuts.
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Aug 28, 2016 17:32
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I work in finance and I can say that kids are bad long term investments.
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Aug 28, 2016 18:14
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Solice Kirsk posted:I work in finance and I can say that kids are bad long term investments. Ask italy how that's working out for them.
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Aug 28, 2016 18:36
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Sad Dad: I felt almost the same way as you did for first while. Maybe not quite as extreme as wanting to kill myself. My son had such a strong bond to his mother and I felt like I couldn't do anything for him at all. Having a child places an immense physical, emotional and financial strain on even the most stable household. I also didn't feel that bond right away and I talked to some of my friends who had kids and I guess that's pretty normal. Your wife/partner had a 9 months head start forming a bond with that kid before you did. I agree with everyone else who said it sounds like you're doing fine by your kid. Even if you're faking it for the kid right now, you're being supportive of your wife and that's love. I also agree with everyone who said get a new shrink. Whatever yours is trying to accomplish isn't working.
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Aug 28, 2016 20:28
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I've seen a few replies to sad dad that are talking like this is the present but he said they conceived years ago and things finally got better around his kids first birthday. Not that it matters if it's supportive and good advice though. anyway sad dad, your psychiatrist is loving crazy and I think that only a good dad would put that much effort into being a good dad even if they don't feel it KomodoWagon posted:I'm fairly certain it's weirder if you don't consider suicide at least a couple of times after having your first child. Your life is basically over or at least on hold for the next 18-20 years. I hope you like feigning interest in toys, cartoons and schoolyard drama, because that's gonna be the most exciting, entertaining activity available to you for a long time. Oh, and say goodbye to your savings. You know all that money you've been working off your rear end for? Poof, it's loving gone because Lil Honey Shithead here will not be content just being fed and clothed. She's gonna demand expensive toys, phones and pastimes, and to top that off she'll most likely break a ton of valuable and/or irreplaceable things before too long. People will judge and ostracize you unless your only response to this is 'oh I love my daughter so much, she is the most precious little thing in the whole world.' shut up flick my Mr. Bean fucked around with this message at 21:06 on Aug 28, 2016 |
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Aug 28, 2016 21:02
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Nation posted:can i get an explanation why suck my drat balls you fuckman is so offensive preferably from an author its reducing me to my fuckman
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Aug 28, 2016 21:57
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Sad dad: it took the birth of my daughter to confront my lifelong depression and things got way better when I did. Your experience is normal and your psych fuckin sucks, my man. Get a different psych. From one dad to another, you seem like a good dad and cool dude. You'll make it! 
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Aug 28, 2016 22:00
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I find the idea of a grown man who can't handle his poo poo around a disabled or disfigured person to be disproportionately funnier than the disabled person's existence. (That said, if you learn to call them dwarfs or little people instead of "midgets" then suddenly they're not nearly as funny by default. Cool pro-tip!) Also, guys, if you have "performance anxiety" and lose your momentum easily in the sack then buy yourself a cock-ring. It's a cheap silicone rubber band that keeps the blood in the glans, and helps if you're shy, nervous, can't feel much thanks to condoms, or for when you're jacking yourself off so much that your penis is too tired and shies away from real sex with a woman.
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Aug 29, 2016 00:21
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Or just outsource the job to someone else.
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Aug 29, 2016 00:23
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Dinosaurmageddon posted:(That said, if you learn to call them dwarfs or little people instead of "midgets" then suddenly they're not nearly as funny by default. Cool pro-tip!) my anonymous confession is that this sounds bizarre to me. Like, if "dwarf" is the polite word, then great whatever, but I always thought "midget" just means "short person," whereas a "dwarf" is a mythical fairy creature half the time.
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Aug 29, 2016 00:37
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I always felt calling them "little people" made it sound like they were manufactured by Fisher Price.
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Aug 29, 2016 00:49
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:I always felt calling them "little people" made it sound like they were manufactured by Fisher Price. "Little people" sounds so loving condescending to me
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Aug 29, 2016 01:05
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quote:Sometimes, as I'm drifting off to sleep, I fantasize about being anesthetized, restrained, and taken apart with a circular saw. Like first my hand is cut off at the wrist, then the elbow, then the shoulder, and my legs in a similar fashion, culminating with my head being removed from my torso. My severed head is aimed at the disarticulated ruin of my body and everything feels as it should be as my vision dims around the edges and fades out and I die. quote:Earlier in the thread, somebody else confessed to pretending to be a girl on the internet.
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Aug 29, 2016 01:08
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loquacius posted:"Little people" sounds so loving condescending to me Same. I honestly think "dwarf" is probably the best thing to call them.
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Aug 29, 2016 01:08
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DoctorStrangelove posted:Same. I honestly think "dwarf" is probably the best thing to call them. Eventually after excess usage "dwarf" will go back to being non-PC and we'll have to call them midgets again.
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Aug 29, 2016 01:09
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mountainhome-americans
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Aug 29, 2016 01:40
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We'll just call them "titches" again. 
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Aug 29, 2016 01:49
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you're more likely to find the loch ness monster loving bigfoot than find the proper non-offensive term for our little friends realtalk you're probably likely to win their and all the other Keebler elves favor by asking what they prefer to be called, probably their name
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Aug 29, 2016 03:14
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god is real the aliens kill the big trees
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Aug 29, 2016 03:17
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DoctorStrangelove posted:Same. I honestly think "dwarf" is probably the best thing to call them. Until they change the name of the genetic condition itself, dwarfs (and not dwarVes) are gonna have dwarfism. "Little people" is just as awkward to say as people- or persons of color, but man sometimes you just wanna communicate something without people getting in a huge tizzy about how the story's set up. That being said, midget, idjit, widget, fidget, gidjit, digit these are all funny-sounding words (except the last one for some reason, unless someone's asking for them  ).
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Aug 29, 2016 03:42
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i call them mutants
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Aug 29, 2016 03:43
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How about calling them people? 
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Aug 29, 2016 04:30
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quote:Hi everyone, I'm the goon that wrote the three page love letter to who is now my current fiancee. For an update we're engaged (obviously) and plan to get married sometime late next year. I sorted out a lot of poo poo with my old friend (we're friends again), but he still isn't on good terms with her which puts a strain on everything. He's moved on and is living with his new girlfriend and they are moving along pretty quick, but I've never seen him more happy. I think all in all it worked out fantastically well for everyone involved. quote:I've had many girlfriends in my life, only two I would consider serious. Both serious relationships ended for the same reason they met someone at their place of work and cheated on me I found out about the first one on my birthday and the second one on Easter. Both relationships were 2-3 years long. I try sooo loving hard not fall into thinking "all girls must be like this" but I have literally no trust that any woman I date from here on out wont be loving someone they work with. I get dates every weekend on Tinder pretty easily but when it comes to the day of the date I back out and ghost because I convince myself it isn't worth the trouble.
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Aug 29, 2016 05:32
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Tinder Ghost: I have never used Tinder but if what people say is true, Tinder is hook up central, not a means to meet a GF. Get away from "social" media and go out with friends. The biggest chance to meet a nice girl is via your friends. Friends share values, interests etc. So if someone is your friend, chances are that if they bring along a friend of theirs, you might click because she too shares some of those same interests etc. Otherwise maybe try serious online dating.
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Aug 29, 2016 06:50
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they all cheat on you sorry dude
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Aug 29, 2016 08:29
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Seconding: Don't use hookup apps to find serious relationships.
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Aug 29, 2016 09:01
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quote:I feel like this thread has awakened something deeply uncomfortable.
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Aug 29, 2016 13:06
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Suddenly becoming sexually obsessed with something you've never considered even slightly erotic before could be indicative of brain damage. You might need to see a doctor. edit: especially if you've simultaneously lost your normal sex drive. KomodoWagon fucked around with this message at 13:30 on Aug 29, 2016 |
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Aug 29, 2016 13:16
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