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hey what's up. i'm oddium and i'm going to let's play the new ToG game Pozzo Jello Crusade PRELUDE  you play as pozzo who's working hard to get some money. this is his final day before vacation  that's pozzo in the lower right. he normal has eyes but i think he's blinking here. the green guy is the boss and maybe also a chef. the restaurant backstory isn't really clear. also i didn't catch it but the individual letters fly out of their mouths when they talk so imagine that LEVEL 1  finally, the game play. i forget what this level is called, but here we're introduced to the basic mechanics. eat the colored jello and walk on to the rainbow square to exit. on the left you can see how many jello squares are left, including pink and green squares for some reason. i don't know what they do. we have no coins  once you eat a jello square the floor below it falls out and you can't walk there anymore. if you read the Boss' dialogue before this caption then you probably knew that. we now have 2 coins, and have eaten two jello. i don't want to assume but it's probably related. i continue eating the jello and leave the level. actually looking back on i don't think i need to eat all the jello to finish the level. maybe it's a branching story point LEVEL 2  i remembered to screencap the level intro this time. this one's called Vum Vum Jello. the pink squares earlier are pink jello it turns out. the green squares are either jello or poison i would say  much bigger level than last time, and also maybe a few places to mess up. i'm confident i can do it though    haha no i did that on purpose to show off the r button. it starts the level over, for Redo. or Repeat. or Replay. hmmm. oh if you want to know how i did it i included the path i took in a separate image. some pictures can be clicked on from now on for just such things but be warned: solution spoilers  anyway i keep on trucking and wouldn't you know, i unlock the rainbow exit. the exit was locked if you noticed, but eating all the jello unlocked it. that's our Pozzo LEVEL 3  this is level 3: LOCK ON. sounds like something a fighter jet computer would say before firing a missile. that's what i think of anyway  as you can see this level has blue jello, pink jello, and presumably green jello but i'm still not sure. also there are color coded locked blocks now. the Boss says they'll disappear once you eat the right colored jello and i trust him frankly  aw beans  that was a real goof up folks. i'm pretty good at this but not infallible. don't let mistakes slow you down though, we do this one jello at a time. with all the blue jello gone, the blue lock blocks have disappeared. we were right to trust the Boss  the pink jello is likewise dispatched hastily. i swear haven't messed up again yet, i'll let you know if i do  all jello eaten, all lock blocks removed, and a staggering 125 coins. the universe is shaking to our beat anyway that's it for now. check out this card i got  Pozzo !! NEXT TIME  
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Sep 1, 2016 21:39
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| # ? May 23, 2024 22:34 |
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pozzo my neg of barkley 2 hard drive
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Sep 1, 2016 22:09
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Can we discuss spoilers?
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Sep 1, 2016 22:11
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Blackheart posted:Can we discuss spoilers? Barkley dies
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Sep 1, 2016 22:15
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Pozzo my neg hole.
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Sep 1, 2016 22:18
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please don't discuss pozzo spoilers
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Sep 1, 2016 22:20
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as one of the many backer's of this fine kickstarter I am disappointed I did not receive a key for pozzo and cannot pozzo my neg barkley mindset
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Sep 1, 2016 22:56
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Will Pozzo be more affordable during the Steam Holiday Sale this December? I'm highly intrigued but I can't justify paying that much for a game I will get at most a few hours of gameplay out of.
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Sep 1, 2016 23:19
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so when is the standalone multiplayer only portion of barkley coming?
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Sep 2, 2016 00:29
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Bark Lee is a good dog name
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Sep 2, 2016 01:40
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there's suddenly too much content in this thread I'm scared and confused
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Sep 2, 2016 01:50
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Hello sirs as a prominent content creator and brand influencer I'm reaching out to you so that we may both leverage our core competencies and elevate Pizza Jello Crusader. If you supply me with a steam key I can guarantee positive coverage of the game on my various social media channels, increasing your market penetration and generating buzz over your product.
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Sep 2, 2016 01:59
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There's interesting stuff to say about Pozzo's character arc but let's respect the LPer's rules until these important events happen. I hope oddium eventually covers all of the main story paths.
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Sep 2, 2016 02:06
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you bet your beans i will
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Sep 2, 2016 02:07
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I bought pozzo so I could discover what fragments of Barkley 2 material were present I was amused
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Sep 2, 2016 07:20
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Help I can't get trapped by the imp
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Sep 2, 2016 07:40
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oddium posted:you bet your beans i most certainly did not 
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Sep 2, 2016 07:55
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drat, I haven't seen a vidcon this intense since my tape loading home personal computer with 64k of ram
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Sep 2, 2016 11:32
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hi I am youtube sensation grumpgames I have a million subscribes so you should give me a free copy of the game so I can make a video of myself not being able to beat the tutorial levels and making fart noises with my mouth
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Sep 2, 2016 12:12
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SeXReX posted:hi I am youtube sensation grumpgames I have a million subscribes so you should give me a free copy of the game so I can make a video of myself not being able to beat the tutorial levels and making fart noises with my mouth don't listen to this guy, I'll do you one better: I can make fart noises without my mouth
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Sep 2, 2016 12:20
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Why can't I play Pozzo or Bakely on my 3DS?
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Sep 2, 2016 13:50
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poz my neg barkley hole
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Sep 2, 2016 14:11
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Is Pozzo making the tens of sales necessary to provide the togsters with dollar burgers as they make their way from their steam tunnels to the public library to do some game development, or will they have to waste most of this year waiting in line at the soup kitchen again?
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Sep 2, 2016 14:20
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Butt Discussin posted:Is Pozzo making the tens of sales necessary to provide the togsters with dollar burgers as they make their way from their steam tunnels to the public library to do some game development, or will they have to waste most of this year waiting in line at the soup kitchen again? Good news, they are on schedule to have a vertical slice in several months so the game is still on pace to come out by 2030!
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Sep 2, 2016 14:29
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this update is longer so the pictures are smaller. and will continue to be smaller actually. thank you LEVEL 4  we pick up where we left off, Flip the Switch  stepping on the  face switches them to  . the gold bricks are now intangible, while the stone bricks have been made whole aw flip  just kidding no problem   good as Gold haha LEVEL 5  this is a blondie song which i hear on the radio sometimes. i like heart of glass more personally  reader participation: try to complete this puzzle before i do  if you managed to do it: congrats. if not, don't worry, there will be more reader participation challenges INTERMISSION  we've cleaned out the storage room and now we're off to the freezer. i'm really into that background image by the way. very serene oh i should mention the music in this game is really good. i can't find it online though so have some david wise instead for the freezer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MBtxyOe3l4 LEVEL 6  iceberg is um. not the guy from Water 7. that's iceburg. iceberg is a bad lettuce  this level is pretty fun. pozzo learns how to push ice cubes with his tongue. they'll continue forward until they hit something  you can't push two ice cubes at once though  and if an ice cube hits a jello it'll destroy it  just out of curiosity i check to see if you can leave a level without destroying all the jello. you can  but pozzo has a job to do LEVEL 7  this one's called: oh um. Herbert's Victims ?? which are the jello blocks left in the freezer i guess. herbert is the boss if you didn't know  it's hard to tell in a still image but the Restless Spirits are moving back and forth like certain zelda enemies  no need to disturb them i think. herbert please stop that  with the lock blocks gone the restless spirits are really booking. gotta be careful  i almost died taking this picture LEVEL 8  Think First, Act Later i act first  this is pozzo spawning in. the blue represents his purity according to my mood ring chart  there's a little dexterous challenge to the left and one of those zelda sliding block puzzles to the right  flipping dogs  obviously i gotta use the ice block to clear a path and then  gosh dang  in my desperation i lick the block. is this what happened to the restless spirits ?? will pozzo too succumb ?? will i ??  "think first" i think, in my head. "then, act"  zelda jingle  easy as ice, is the saying i believe LEVEL 9  WIZARDS BLIZZARDS oddium's thoughts: this name rules  this is the most wizardly playground of blizzardly conditions i've ever seen  the lesson of Wizards Blizzards is knowing when to ignore temptation and when to indulge. here, the ice blocks were superfluous except for the two i accidentally kicked before taking this screenshot  blocks can be friends, or foes. travel carefully  set em up  knock em down. i learned that from bowling. the upcoming ice block is begging to be pushed  but i see through it. also sorry if this spoiler line is wonked up. i have to do them from memory and i was listening to adventure zone at the time LEVEL 10  Cold Tricks... foreshadowing much...  reel in that stoic imagination of yours dear reader. i know you can vividly see the restless souls bouncing around like bullets out of heck, but trust me. they're stalwart guardians of those jello blocks, not moving an inch. it's obvious what needs to be done  face to face, i can tell they won't fight back. i'm being asked to kill my once tormentors without a fight in a very kojima esque commentary  i set up the firing squad. i've taken my role as judge and jury for granted, but reflecting on the nature of executioner and also touching all this ice has left me chilled...  the ice travels through them without hesitation. they're not hurt. they're fine. did they know this would happen. am i being tested. what is this NEXT TIME  we smell something THE ACHIEVEMENT ZONE  RANK: CHESTER CHEEVO
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Sep 2, 2016 23:10
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Fun Fact: one of the few other games to have this level of ice cube realistic physics was Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty.
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Sep 3, 2016 04:26
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there's something about the serene beauty of ice that inspires genius...
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Sep 3, 2016 17:00
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INTERLUDE herbert is acting a little weird, and kind of mean. pozzo drifts into a slumber, as we can see in a screenshot i timed perfectly LEVEL 11  we slip the surly bonds of of the conscious world and enter  the new mechanic is insanely sick jump pads what make pozzo rocket over these cloud walls, which can't be passed otherwise  reginald help ...  the green jello has been systematically destroyed  the blue jello has been systematically destroyed but in such a way that leaves me unbalanced  much better LEVEL 12  Hazy Dream is a little on the nose but okay  this level looks like a pacific northwest native american eagle or something. another ice block zelda puzzle too  this feels right. just gamer girl intution  i'm like neo at the end of the matrix at this point prepare yourself crusader, for this baller chain jump:  mystical gif technology struggles to capture its majesty  i just noticed reginald is gone. this game is lonely sometimes LEVEL 13  hope you don't have a Corner Complex hahaha reginald please  a very zen stage... yin and yang jello, in harmony... and based off what i know of taoism from pokemon gen 5 the blue jello is kyurem  oh beans i messed up the blue jello. look back at it now i realize the exit was unlocked the whole time. what does it mean  good good  reflecting on the nature of zen... frog jumps in to pond... splash...  LEVEL 14 levels what have restless spirits like Stocks of Stupidity are much more reflective and personal i think  they're implied to be Herbert's Victims* but they're also in pozzo's subconscious jello eating dream. maybe because they're meant to represent pozzo himself. is pozzo, too, Herbert's Victim ?? *check update #2 crusaders  e z  strategically leaving a path of green jello to cross later much like something that probably happened in the bible or whatever  like book of mark or something. it's there believe me  [inward gazing]  i'll come back, for you... LEVEL 15  oh it's Layered. not Lavered whoops  layered because it's the most involved level yet  i called this Dark Trap Zone because you hit the wrong jump you aren't coming back  this um. i don't think it's right  this is. also wrong  it takes me a few tries but i figured it out. hit the green and retreat  hit the pink and retreat  what happens, to a Dream deferred NEXT TIME  THE ACHIEVEMENT ZONE  RANK: CHEEV MARIN
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Sep 4, 2016 02:24
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drat I didn't prepare enough for that sick trip. jump. Edit: God drat that was a quad. Too fast, I missed one. captain innocuous fucked around with this message at 09:40 on Sep 4, 2016 |
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Sep 4, 2016 09:38
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Spoiler tag all those posts
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Sep 4, 2016 09:42
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i hope pozzo can make it back.
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Sep 4, 2016 10:00
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update #4 previous updates update #1 update #2 update #3 buckle up, crusaders, it's gonna be a hot one. here's a little moodsetter https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOwu07IJvXE pozzo is ripped back to the waking world what from herbert calling. herbert is super flustered and doesn't seem to be concerned with pozzo at all. i hate to say it but i'm starting to not like herbert LEVEL 16  anyway pozzo's trek back begins with Scorched  these skulls in the red X's will throw "fireballs" continuously. each one will rotate 90 degrees either clockwise or counter-clockwise once you lick the grey/red button. what's interesting to note here is that there is only one jello block, which doesn't have to be collected to finish. it makes sense canonically, since the desert has little to do with herbert's jello restaurant  thematically, though, it's especially fitting. the dream levels seem to have been a rebirth of sorts for pozzo, a mental separation from herbert, now physical LEVEL 17  here we are presented with a Sidenote  continuing to collect jello for herbert will unleash danger upon pozzo. is he brave enough, swift enough, cunning enough ??  leave a way out  pozzo is becoming his own man LEVEL 18  i don't know what S'parrens is supposed to mean. if i had to grasp i would say it's intentionally gibberish, meant to reflect pozzo making sense of his brave new world. but i think we need more evidence for that reading  gosh dang this level is a doozy. what's most striking to me are the stagnant restless spirits, which are usually used as a warning. they are pozzo if he fails, and there's much room for failure here  note that there is again only one jello to collect  the level looked intimidating, but it only takes a few simple ice block nudges to set up an escape LEVEL 19  this level, Scorpions Tail, is the most telling of any level so far  by far the most jello in any desert level, and here arranged as an aggressor. no tricks, no traps, just pozzo face-to-face with his demon  this, too, shall pass LEVEL 20  i don't know why it's called Stump  it looks kind of like a tree stump from a bird's eye view i guess ??  again, once more, a single jello piece. pozzo collects it out of honorbound duty  make a stack of ice  free the switch  Return Home. stay strong pozzo NEXT TIME  plot ?? PROGRESS TRACKER according to this:  we are uh. [■■■■■-----] 50% COMPLETE oddium fucked around with this message at 20:52 on Sep 4, 2016 |
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Sep 4, 2016 19:28
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Let's not be hasty to judge Herbert for in some ways it could be said he's his own victim too.
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Sep 4, 2016 19:52
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yo like that one guy asked please spoilertag all those images it's really annoying seeing the thread flash up and down spasmodically
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Sep 5, 2016 02:06
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This is the worst LP ever
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Sep 5, 2016 03:22
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The ToGsters have deigned to bless us with another biannual update. This one primarily concerns Pozzo and TELEDILDONICS. There is also a vague hint at a possible connection between the worlds of Pozzo and Barkley. I guess it's time to dig up my jello crusading gear.
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Sep 5, 2016 05:36
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how are you going to load dwarfnet if u can barely load a thread full of garbage images like this one
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Sep 5, 2016 13:13
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[56k no!!!!!!][Wow][Good]Barkley 2 Kickstarter - Sequel to Barkley, Shut Up & Jam: Gaiden
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Sep 5, 2016 15:30
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oddium posted:WORLDS BIGGEST PILE OF poo poo Please poo poo up this thread with more poo poo thanks in advance.
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Sep 5, 2016 15:55
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| # ? May 23, 2024 22:34 |
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Legin Noslen posted:Please poo poo up this thread with more poo poo thanks in advance. I agree, it's drowning out all the other good content
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Sep 5, 2016 16:43
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