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Inzombiac posted:-Voted for Bush Jr. 
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Sep 5, 2016 02:39
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lmao how do you fumble around with secrecy so much that someone found out you stuck the food up your rear end? like it's so out of leftfield why would anyone even suspect it unless you were absolutely terrible at subtleties
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Sep 5, 2016 02:56
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i should probably track down my ex and kill myself on her front yard as a goof
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Sep 5, 2016 03:12
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As an 18 year old I took a 2 week trip abroad and came back to find my gf of a few months had shacked up with some dude in his 30s on welfare. It was more wtf than anything, especially since she'd lived with her parents until then. e: It obviously didn't work out, but she got a kid for her trouble!
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Sep 5, 2016 03:22
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darkhand posted:lmao how do you fumble around with secrecy so much that someone found out you stuck the food up your rear end? To expand: It was the first time she cooked for me and the first time I had been to her apartment. She was in the kitchen preparing the meal and told me to hang out in the living room and watch a movie and hang out with her dog. I figured the meal was a surprise (heh) or she was self-conscious about her cooking. We were within earshot of each other and I asked for something to drink. After a few minutes without her bringing something out, I walked in to the kitchen to get something myself. What I saw was a large salad in a bowl with sliced cucumber, a good amount of sliced carrots and a final one being put into her rear end. Maybe she was so turned on by making someone a meal and had to go at it. Maybe that was the only one and she was going to throw it away. In the second of drinking in the haunting tableaux, I decided not to take any chances and left.
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Sep 5, 2016 03:24
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Inzombiac posted:
Dude, she was just loading up the salad shooter.
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Sep 5, 2016 03:27
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Goat, you missed the obvious Tossed Salad joke. Shame on you.
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Sep 5, 2016 03:30
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Inzombiac posted:Goat, you missed the obvious Tossed Salad joke. Oh, so you did eat her cooking?!
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Sep 5, 2016 03:32
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I had a real hardcore one here man it was hell how I got treated - looked at a rhino one time - ate ramen noodles upside down for some reason? - ripple chips - a huge hotdog - elevators I think
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Sep 5, 2016 03:47
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She was 36 and slept with a 19 year old student from the college she worked at. I only found out about it because the kid was so afraid of getting AIDS the first time he had sex that he had a psychosomatic rash occur and contacted me before he found out what the actual cause was. Basically every artist I've dated has been this awful of a batshit, and unfortunately they're the easiest types of women I can talk to.
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Sep 5, 2016 04:00
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loquacius posted:- getting actually mad at me if I said she looked nice using too strong of language because obviously I was lying I hate that poo poo. Like, I'm not gonna bother lying about you looking good if you don't. If you're fugly I'll just keep my mouth shut.
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Sep 5, 2016 04:51
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Just a goof
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Sep 5, 2016 04:53
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loquacius posted:two lessons: My first gf was actually a pretty rad human being. I still feel like I won the lottery on that one. Everyone else after that... Not so much.
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Sep 5, 2016 04:56
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Gaunab posted:Just a goof
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Sep 5, 2016 05:09
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extra stout posted:the number of you who deal with even a single faked pregnancy and dont break up is confusing me One of these days I'll just get a vasectomy. It's not like the world needs another degenerate like me and if anyone tries to pull that poo poo on me again I can just dismiss that.
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Sep 5, 2016 05:28
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Inzombiac posted:To expand: This is amazing. Who even puts carrots in a drat salad
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Sep 5, 2016 05:32
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Inzombiac posted:-Dated a lady when we were 13 and she was kinda dumpy and boring but she made out with me so that was cool. Would routinely call my house (pre cellphone days) at 3am saying that she would commit suicide if I broke up with her. LMAO. "If I tell you that I'm going to kill myself if you break up with me and you still break up with me then it must mean that you are trying to get me killed." That's some pretty fascinating logic right there. 
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Sep 5, 2016 05:38
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SmokaDustbowl posted:- looked at a rhino one time The unforgivable crime 
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Sep 5, 2016 07:18
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Gaunab posted:i should probably track down my ex and kill myself on her front yard as a goof Sounds like a rad idea, go for it. 
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Sep 5, 2016 07:27
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dads_work_files posted:This is amazing. Who even puts carrots in a drat salad Shredded carrots in a salad is great if it's not covered in art school student butt juice.
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Sep 5, 2016 07:38
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On the second date I discovered he bought a kingsize bed and tied it with a ribbon before I came over. His assumption was that if he got a new bed it'd be the thing that would persuade me to move in with him. On the third date (I don't even know why there was a third date) I discovered that it was his mother's idea to buy a bed so I'd move in with him. It was also later revealed that she was encouraging him to damage any condoms he had. There was no fourth date.
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Sep 5, 2016 07:56
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SCALE ITCH 
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One of my girlfriends explained to me very seriously that her family came from Romania so she must be a werewolf. I laughed it off but talking to peoole years later this was apparently not a joke. I met some people at a party that grew up in the same town as her. I mentioned i dated someone from there and as I said her first name, which isnt very common, they SCREAMED her last name and fell over eachother to tell me about what a loving weirdo she was. Good times.
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Sep 5, 2016 08:03
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loquacius posted:The problem is that she was to start but then changed her mind This happened to me and it hosed me up a little. When my ex confessed to me she wasn't attracted to me anymore but that she wanted to stay in a relationship anyways I don't know why I went along with it. But it kind of killed a very small delicate thing inside of me for a while. I felt really ugly and shlubby and unattractive for a really long time.
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Sep 5, 2016 08:08
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Hate Fibration posted:This happened to me and it hosed me up a little. When my ex confessed to me she wasn't attracted to me anymore but that she wanted to stay in a relationship anyways I don't know why I went along with it. But it kind of killed a very small delicate thing inside of me for a while. I felt really ugly and shlubby and unattractive for a really long time. Same. Fortunately alcoholism solves everything. which is why i'm single
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Sep 5, 2016 08:12
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Jack Trades posted:One of these days I'll just get a vasectomy. Don't tell whoever you date, just be clear that you don't want kids. Then you also know what's up if they get pregnant anyway.
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Sep 5, 2016 08:33
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Charles Bukowski posted:One of my girlfriends explained to me very seriously that her family came from Romania so she must be a werewolf. I laughed it off but talking to peoole years later this was apparently not a joke. I met some people at a party that grew up in the same town as her. I mentioned i dated someone from there and as I said her first name, which isnt very common, they SCREAMED her last name and fell over eachother to tell me about what a loving weirdo she was. Good times. Mexico has the Chupacabra The Navajo have the Skinwalkers U.S. Americans have the mass shooter Europe has the Werewolf Depending on what culture someone is from the 'monster' story can mean a lot more than just the surface level.
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Sep 5, 2016 08:33
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One time an ex skype called me to show her trying to cut her face up with a cheap lovely pocket knife that ended up leaving a few scratches. Talked like nothing happened 20-30 minutes later.
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Sep 5, 2016 08:45
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Lots of stories to relate too here, Married a batshit crazy bitch and had 3 kids with her. Should have just ended it years before but oh well, got some awesome kids now anyway. Some highlights; - Numerous break ups before kids/marriage should have rang alarm bells. - We worked together, I was well liked and in a middle management position. I think she had some kind of issue with it and would have no hesitation in writing me off to other staff, who thought she was an idiot. - Depressed and lazy as gently caress - I did a half arsed proposal of marriage once she was knocked up because I felt pressured to when in my head I knew I should run for the hills. - Speaking of knocked up, I'm pretty positive she got pregnant "accidentally" on purpose. hosed my brains out for a few nights, which was fun as gently caress and says she was sick and most have threw up the pill. - Get Angry as hell over stupid poo poo and lose it, then start screaming. This would then usually lead to some kind of Physical Violence towards myself(which led to an AVO out on her nearly a year after we separated) - I would work all day then come home and have to cook/clean/look after kids while she did gently caress all, I never expected her to do everything but some help would have been nice. Then she would wonder why I didn't want to spend any time with her at all. - Pretty much hated any type of fun(drinking, drugs, socializing) at all and just wanted to sleep all the time - Tried to get her help several times and would encourage it but she'd stop going then blame me for it. - Pretty much blame everyone else, especially me, for how she was rather than take some responsibility for her own actions. No way was I perfect in this but gently caress I shake my head at some of the poo poo now, should really have had some more balls and walked out well before but oh well...learnt from that poo poo and have seen some cool people since, life goes on. Edit: - Oh yea and she would nag and nag and nag to get something until I gave in like a bitch and put myself in a lovely financial position to shut her the gently caress up. Even if it was completely not required and loving stupid/waste of money. BoonyPC fucked around with this message at 08:52 on Sep 5, 2016 |
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Sep 5, 2016 08:48
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My two college exes are less crazy and plain broken by lovely parents. The first had what I've always described as a battleaxe of a mother who expected perfection of the other 3 people in the house but was simply a sad do nothing house wife herself. This of course wore the ex GF to the bone to finding her bawling her eyes out one night because she got a B+ on an exam in Biology. The level of distraught I found her in was something normally reserved for a dead parent. She was convinced I was cheating on her constantly even though I was complete shut in nerd that didn't go anywhere else. We broke up 6 times within a year but kept getting back together before I finally noticed that I was developing a honest to gently caress tick in my left eye from the stress of it all at age 20 and finally decided no amount of sex was worth this bullshit. Oh and her horrible mother took it upon herself to out me (bi) to my family because she's such a good christian fuckhead rear end in a top hat. Why I put up with it: 6'2" blonde lifeguard. Only really say this as it perplexed my current GF for years hearing the various stories I had. She saw a pic years into things and went "ok now I get it". The other had a more typical no dad and lovely mom set of problems. This was less dramatic with the relationship but this poor woman will forever be chasing something missing in her life that simply can't be found. We were friends for the longest time but it simply sputtered out as I couldn't listen to yet another disastrous bit of family drama that was the same poo poo for the 15th time as shocker her twin sisters were both also hosed up from the lack of any real parent in their lives. She at least avoided cranking out kids, the other 2 had 7 kids between them by the time I lost track of things. Course my silly young rear end pined over her in ways that are frankly embarrassing and pathetic to be fair, from her perspective I was totally the crazy one for a time there. 
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Sep 5, 2016 08:50
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Do 2D relationships count?
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Sep 5, 2016 08:56
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One stabbed and tried to run me over because I figured out she was cheating on me. Another the very first day we hung out she had me pick her up cause her dad was "abusive"(turned out he is not and just wanted to get her help) and proceeded to get black out drunk at my parents house when I came back from making her food she was chugging my whiskey. She then began uncontrollably crying when the whiskey set in and demanded I hold her and tell her she was OK. She then guilt tripped me into having sex with her and then got super angry literally right after. We hung out for a few weeks mostly because she was super hot but I couldn't take it anymore. She now stalks all my social media
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Sep 5, 2016 09:02
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Don't date artists or other social outcasts. gently caress them, by all means, but the clock is ticking before it blows up and you'll have gotten attached by then.
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Sep 5, 2016 11:44
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Frosted Flake posted:Don't date artists or other social outcasts. gently caress them, by all means, but the clock is ticking before it blows up and you'll have gotten attached by then. Can confirm, don't date us. We're mostly hosed up by sabrains syndrome and substance abuse. Please do gently caress us though. Please.
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Sep 5, 2016 11:47
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dog buttz posted:I've brought her up quite a few times on the forums but my ex made rape accusations against me after we broke up I subscribe to intersectional feminism so I believe the victim. This enforces my belief that men of the Internet hate women and are rapists.
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Sep 5, 2016 13:11
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This kills the thread.
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Sep 5, 2016 13:24
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all my exes live in texas
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Sep 5, 2016 16:34
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Frosted Flake posted:Don't date artists or other social outcasts. gently caress them, by all means, but the clock is ticking before it blows up and you'll have gotten attached by then. Jack Trades posted:Can confirm, don't date us. We're mostly hosed up  
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Sep 5, 2016 23:13
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The only art student I've ever dated hated everyone else at her school, which is probably the only reason why she's not the one I think of when I think "my batshit crazy ex"
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Sep 5, 2016 23:26
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How to date an "artist", by VendaGoat. Step one, loving relax and "let it happen." Step two, Try and "put up with the poo poo" Step three, "run for the loving hills" In the rest of your's estimation, does this cover it?
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Sep 5, 2016 23:45
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Hate Fibration posted:This happened to me and it hosed me up a little. When my ex confessed to me she wasn't attracted to me anymore but that she wanted to stay in a relationship anyways I don't know why I went along with it. But it kind of killed a very small delicate thing inside of me for a while. I felt really ugly and shlubby and unattractive for a really long time. All you people are broken husks of humans to this day. gently caress sake
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Sep 5, 2016 23:56
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