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Wolfsheim posted:I read through this thread and I want most of it to be fake, not because of the disturbing sex stuff like drider-man, I get that, but like half of these end with "oh btw I'm an adult virgin." People under 30 today are actually much more likely to be virgins than they were 50 years ago Also this thread is hilarious because I'm a poo poo person. If you submitted a confession please get help even if it's to spite assholes like me
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Sep 7, 2016 17:27
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Twerkteam Pizza posted:People under 30 today are actually much more likely to be virgins than they were 50 years ago That may be true, but nowadays if you're a virgin in an era where both Tinder and Alcohol are Things That Exist, it's only because that's the path you've chosen for yourself.
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Sep 7, 2016 18:57
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I can't imagine jerking off with soap more than once.... It's typically not nice to your skin after you've stroked it deep into your pores for 15 minutes plus have you ever gotten soap in your urethra? Holy poo poo that's horrible.
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Sep 7, 2016 19:07
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Dirk Squarejaw posted:I can't imagine jerking off with soap more than once.... It's typically not nice to your skin after you've stroked it deep into your pores for 15 minutes plus have you ever gotten soap in your urethra? Holy poo poo that's horrible. The burning pee hole only adds authenticity to the simulated sex.
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Sep 7, 2016 19:10
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timp posted:That may be true, but nowadays if you're a virgin in an era where both Tinder and Alcohol are Things That Exist, it's only because that's the path you've chosen for yourself. Neither of those are guarantees. It's really easy to assume a person is a virgin because they're not trying hard enough, but there are a lot of variables.
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Sep 7, 2016 19:12
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Wolfsheim posted:I read through this thread and I want most of it to be fake, not because of the disturbing sex stuff like drider-man, I get that, but like half of these end with "oh btw I'm an adult virgin." Hi 
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Sep 7, 2016 19:33
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H.H posted:What up bitches, Daughetr of Pissbitch here again. I meant to send this a few days ago but I been busy. My fiance returned the day after I sent my last vconfession (and NO, I didn't tell him "I want to gently caress my boss" it was more like "I've been kind of distant lately because I've found myself attracted to women for the first time in my life and it's kindof throwing me off). We had some great sex that night, he had me whsipering in his ear about my fantasies about women. I left out my bossand the whole piss fetish thing. Ladies and gentlemen, we have cuck-off.
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Sep 7, 2016 21:55
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Looks like someone's been taking advice from this thread a little too seriously  quote:The US Coast Guard is searching for a woman who fell overboard from a Carnival cruise ship early Wednesday, according to a news release.
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Sep 7, 2016 21:56
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loving goons.
Mr. 47 fucked around with this message at 22:14 on Sep 7, 2016 |
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Sep 7, 2016 22:09
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Believe it or not my best friend and his wife are on that cruise right now They were also witness to a guy having a heart attack the night before that happened during one of the comedy shows, which basically proves that they're on a Haunted Cruise
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Sep 7, 2016 22:10
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that poo poo happens all the time and it doesn't get reported as often as it probably should
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Sep 7, 2016 22:13
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Whoever she got the idea from should be probated.
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Sep 7, 2016 23:19
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timp posted:Believe it or not my best friend and his wife are on that cruise right now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xS5rUgRAzDc&t=13s if they could see you now
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Sep 7, 2016 23:30
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Don't they have cameras on the sides of the ship so they can see if someone pushed someone else off?
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Sep 7, 2016 23:35
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Solice Kirsk posted:Don't they have cameras on the sides of the ship so they can see if someone pushed someone else off? THey only have rear view mirrors on ships, they'd be lucky to catch any person. I guess they WOULD be larger than they appear though.
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Sep 7, 2016 23:48
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Man I was like 1000 posts behind on this thread, so I kept thinking of witty replies and then I couldn't post them. Welp, that's it.
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Sep 8, 2016 00:37
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null posted:Man I was like 1000 posts behind on this thread, so I kept thinking of witty replies and then I couldn't post them. Welp, that's it. While I have been keeping up with this particular thread regularly, I want to commiserate with you because that poo poo happens to me all the time
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Sep 8, 2016 01:17
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null posted:Man I was like 1000 posts behind on this thread, so I kept thinking of witty replies and then I couldn't post them. Welp, that's it. I try to keep up with this thread fastidiously, I empathize with you as I also find it to occur with great regularity.
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Sep 8, 2016 02:02
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Solice Kirsk posted:Don't they have cameras on the sides of the ship so they can see if someone pushed someone else off? I think most modern cruise ships have security cameras but those things are so huge that there are still plenty of blind spots. Lots of staterooms have balconies, for example, so it would be pretty easy to push someone out there and not be caught on a camera.
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Sep 8, 2016 02:28
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Zorodius posted:I think we could do without that dog hey screw you buddy! Ha, I really showed him
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Sep 8, 2016 02:34
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Well that just sounds super easy! Let the sea bury the body!.....I mean....that's disturbing.
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Sep 8, 2016 02:34
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1. Don't push your spouse overboard, regardless of his/her independent wealth and/or problems with your marriage. 2. Re: virgin goons, if I understand it correctly the most sexually liberal period in the west was between the start of the sexual revolution and the AIDS scare in the mid-80's. Not only that, it's an inescapable fact that people who spend a lot of their free time on internet forums are probably going out less. This may be due to social anxiety, stress, depression etc, thus they are more likely to be virgins at a relatively late age. It's not about being a nerd (those are getting laid more in the past two decades with the spread of the internet and geek-related conventions), it's about not wanting to socially interact with your peers.
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Sep 8, 2016 05:29
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H.H posted:1. Don't push your spouse overboard, regardless of his/her independent wealth and/or problems with your marriage. I'm engaged and have a happy relationship AMA
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Sep 8, 2016 05:38
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What con did you meet in?
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Sep 8, 2016 05:44
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H.H posted:What con did you meet in? Ballpit
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Sep 8, 2016 05:47
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...and the anti-boatmurder faction is forced to cede yet more ground
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Sep 8, 2016 07:22
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quote:Duaghter of Pissbitch here again. Today, a mutual friend of my fiance and I texted me saying that my fiance was making pases at her. He told her i'd said it was oaky (haha, NO). I had a talk with him about it and he said it was okay cause I had cheated on him. When I was like "uhhh, no I did'nt" he tried to say tell me that my fantasizing about women was the same thing. I was like "uhhhh gently caress no" and he told me I had been mentally cheating, so he was in the clear to gently caress another woman to "make up for it."
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Sep 8, 2016 12:07
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dodged a bullet there, i guess
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Sep 8, 2016 12:16
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Mycroft Holmes posted:dodged a bullet there, i guess true, that guy could have married a dyke.
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Sep 8, 2016 12:23
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This has to be fake, there is no way a real story could progress this perfectly and beautifully, complete with a happy ending: you learned that your fiancé was a piece of poo poo so you Mycroft Holmes posted:dodged a bullet there, i guess
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Sep 8, 2016 12:40
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Yeah I dunno if I'm believing this many straight plot twists but if it's true, godspeed and may you find a pee partner one day I guess
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Sep 8, 2016 12:42
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craigslist can surely find someone for that
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Sep 8, 2016 12:45
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H.H posted:pissbitch Based on the drunk looking typing I'm gonna say... plausible?
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Sep 8, 2016 12:48
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hey daughter of pissbitch, probably not the best idea to flirt with customers like ever. even if you're sure that they like you. i mean, not if you like having a job. i get that you're probably grieving a bit, but try to go to a bar. hit on the wrong person at work once or twice, maybe that's okay. flirt with the absolute wrong person (say, a woman that hates gay people and can tell what you're getting at) and it could be your job. i remember once when i was working overnight, i had a customer hold behind the counter. later the guy came in to get his hair product, and i said yeah i do the same thing when we put what i use on clearance. he took this as me flirting with him i guess (i was really just wondering to myself internally why this balding guy is buying hair gel, gel is like the worst thing for balding/thin hair) and wrote a huge multi-page complaint about me to the website, which my store manager then called me in to explain. it was lame. tl;dr don't flirt at work it's one of the dumbest ideas
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Sep 8, 2016 12:56
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HH we all know you are bad at filtering confessions, but are you making sure the emails are really coming from the same source?
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Sep 8, 2016 13:41
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I am. I'm not filtering based on plausability, though.
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Sep 8, 2016 14:02
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H.H posted:I'm not filtering based on plausability, though. which brings the whole thread down really also lol daughter of pissbitch is pretty funny poo poo, if its fake it should end here, any more twists will just be ridiculous.
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Sep 8, 2016 14:05
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I'm still available if anyone needs pissed on, for any reason really
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Sep 8, 2016 14:05
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I'll be my own judge of plausibility. H.H. is doing fine work.
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Sep 8, 2016 14:10
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H.H posted:I am. That's good to know. The daughter of pissbitch is a good saga in its own twisted way and just wanted to know if it's at least by the same source
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Sep 8, 2016 14:14
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