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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

:siren: NEW STRIP IS UP! :siren:

The explanation panel is loving gold, especially item 7.

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prefect
Sep 11, 2001

No one, Woodhouse.
No one.




Dead Man’s Band

Jerusalem posted:

:siren: NEW STRIP IS UP! :siren:

The explanation panel is loving gold, especially item 7.

I hate to say it, but I think Teodor is in the right here.

Necronomicon
Jan 18, 2004

"...Everclear, a 190 proof liquor whose sharts made the back of Charles Bukowski's balls even uglier than his face."

good stuff

Shibawanko
Feb 13, 2013

A wordy and boring 11 panel mess.

Jet Jaguar
Feb 12, 2006

Don't touch my bags if you please, Mr Customs Man.



Almost all the new business opening in Portland in the last year have been weed shops. The cannabis industry is more like discount mattress stores, they have the same sketchy guys waving signs.

I think there's one super-high-end store downtown, but I don't know if they sell unforgivingly-precise jays.

BitterAvatar
Jun 19, 2004

I do not miss the future
I got more of a chuckle about the last item in the list than I really should have. It's just so sincere.

Bongo Bill
Jan 17, 2012

I think hanging out with Teodor must be extremely tedious sometimes.

boo_radley
Dec 30, 2005

Politeness costs nothing

Shibawanko posted:

A wordy and boring 11 panel mess.

Classic achewood

Atmus
Mar 8, 2002

Jet Jaguar posted:

Almost all the new business opening in Portland in the last year have been weed shops. The cannabis industry is more like discount mattress stores, they have the same sketchy guys waving signs.

The first time I saw that in Colorado, I was sad. Weed shouldn't need to advertise, man.

Pinch Me Im Meming
Jun 26, 2005

Shibawanko posted:

A wordy and boring 11 panel mess.

NoneMoreNegative
Jul 20, 2000
GOTH FASCISTIC
PAIN
MASTER




shit wizard dad

Jet Jaguar posted:

they have the same sketchy guys waving signs.

Showbiz, getting paid in weed: HNNYAH!

Tiny Timbs
Sep 6, 2008

Jet Jaguar posted:

Almost all the new business opening in Portland in the last year have been weed shops. The cannabis industry is more like discount mattress stores, they have the same sketchy guys waving signs.

I think there's one super-high-end store downtown, but I don't know if they sell unforgivingly-precise jays.

They've followed the vape shop formula of renting out strip mall retail space, filling it with a couple glass display cases from craigslist, and putting no more thought to decoration or presentation whatsoever. They're about as inviting as a dentist's office.

Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.


:smith:

Grimey Drawer
It'll be more like the liquor business. You won't be allowed to be high at work or driving or anything, but we'll still get commercials during the Super Bowl.

robot roll call
Mar 7, 2006

dance dance dance dance dance to the radio


This one isn't very funny but I can't say I'm not impressed

Excelzior
Jun 24, 2013

-pouffe-

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

Shibawanko posted:

A wordy and boring 11 panel mess.

don't sign my posts for me, before i make them

little munchkin
Aug 15, 2010

Shibawanko posted:

A wordy and boring 11 panel mess.

yea it's one of the bad achewoods that substitutes "clever" turns of phrase for jokes

the numa numa song
Oct 3, 2006

Even though
I'm better than you
I am not
I don't think Onstad was even trying to make a joke.

Chris Onstad is a writer first, a comedian second, and an artist fifth. He's explained before that Achewood being a comic is a just a means of conveying the story of characters that may as well be people but are instead anthropomorphic animals. If the comic itself is somehow not proof enough, you need only refer to the mountain of blogs he can't seem to quit, the zines in the honor shop, and the extra narratives in the Dark Horse hardcovers. He might've been better off writing Achewood as pure prose, but then nobody would've read it and this beautiful mess of a thread wouldn't be here and I wouldn't be here writing entirely too many words about it.

If you keep coming back to Achewood, especially in 2016, I can't help but think you're coming back expecting some amount of heft and inscrutability. I, too, prefer it when it's funny and quotable, but I'm also ready to accept 11 panels of words if they are thought out, not too obtuse, and convey some character development and/or interesting interaction. Humor is second and art is fifth. I enjoyed Teodor and Connie getting down on the future of weed, even if one is insufferable and the other rigid. This is the part-time twilight of Achewood's life, and considering it was all but dead beforehand, I'm happy with what I get as long as Onstad's love of the game still comes out in the work.

That is why I like this week's Achewood. If you don't, perhaps you should read another webcomic that is leaner, updates more frequently, and is consistently funnier, which is probably many of them.

Full disclosure, I never ordered a cookbook. God bless.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

little munchkin posted:

yea it's one of the bad achewoods that substitutes "clever" turns of phrase for jokes

I didn't "guffaw" or " chortle" and "slap my knee", but it was amusing.

I mean, goddamn, is this your first Achewood or what, buddy?

tacodaemon
Nov 27, 2006



Have FUN reading Achewood, dude.

Seriously, man. Have fun reading Achewood.

Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.


:smith:

Grimey Drawer
Anything after The Miracle was gonna be a come-down anyway, so a couple of guys talkin' about weed plus some amusing footnotes is fine by me.

grilldos
Mar 27, 2004

BUST A LOAF
IN THIS
YEAST CONFECTION
Grimey Drawer
Do we need to start linking to the dozens of Achewoods that aren't meant to be funny because we can definitely do that, it'll be great and a thing that everyone wants.

Tarranon
Oct 10, 2007

Diggity Dog
Sometimes I think I've spent the past fifteen years of my life still thinking about the cusses of the 2 live crew

Sigma-X
Jun 17, 2005
Ray loves lasagna and hates mondays! JUST LIKE US!

Philippe
Aug 9, 2013

(she/her)

I like Achewood a lot, especially the ones that don't really have a punchline. The fairly new one where Cornelius describes what a Frenchman would find amusing comes to mind, as do the occasional flashbacks to Roast Beef's horrible childhood.

Tiny Timbs
Sep 6, 2008

grilldos posted:

Do we need to start linking to the dozens of Achewoods that aren't meant to be funny because we can definitely do that, it'll be great and a thing that everyone wants.

Here's a link to the acewhood archive lol: http:thelink

little munchkin
Aug 15, 2010

Discombobulator posted:

I don't think Onstad was even trying to make a joke.

Chris Onstad is a writer first, a comedian second, and an artist fifth. He's explained before that Achewood being a comic is a just a means of conveying the story of characters that may as well be people but are instead anthropomorphic animals. If the comic itself is somehow not proof enough, you need only refer to the mountain of blogs he can't seem to quit, the zines in the honor shop, and the extra narratives in the Dark Horse hardcovers. He might've been better off writing Achewood as pure prose, but then nobody would've read it and this beautiful mess of a thread wouldn't be here and I wouldn't be here writing entirely too many words about it.

If you keep coming back to Achewood, especially in 2016, I can't help but think you're coming back expecting some amount of heft and inscrutability. I, too, prefer it when it's funny and quotable, but I'm also ready to accept 11 panels of words if they are thought out, not too obtuse, and convey some character development and/or interesting interaction. Humor is second and art is fifth. I enjoyed Teodor and Connie getting down on the future of weed, even if one is insufferable and the other rigid. This is the part-time twilight of Achewood's life, and considering it was all but dead beforehand, I'm happy with what I get as long as Onstad's love of the game still comes out in the work.

That is why I like this week's Achewood. If you don't, perhaps you should read another webcomic that is leaner, updates more frequently, and is consistently funnier, which is probably many of them.

Full disclosure, I never ordered a cookbook. God bless.

i like the one where the robot says "how do you know if a robot's rear end is bad?" and then the robot shows you his rear end

little munchkin
Aug 15, 2010
here it is:

tacodaemon
Nov 27, 2006




Lie Bot doesn't seem to be lying at all in that one

Necrothatcher
Mar 26, 2005




Cornelius must be short on money again.



quote:

"Achewood Academy by Betty Blyton

Hot headed young aristocrat Jane Munsford is being sent away to famous finishing school Achewood Academy to learn how to be a proper lady and wife. There's just one problem, she has no intention of ever marrying and is only agreeing to attend Achewood in order to fulfill a condition of her inheritance.

Master Crispin is tasked with the difficult prospect of ensuring that Jane behaves herself, but when he inevitably takes the miscreant over his lap to correct her, he discovers that you can spank an incorrigible young woman's bottom as soundly as you like, but you can't control where her heart leads her – or where it leads you.

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15763341-achewood-academy?from_search=true

feetnotes
Jan 29, 2008

I'm pretty sure the thing with Lie Bot is that actually he never lies. I tried to go through and check once but I got bored and quit. Anyway that's my fan theory thank you for reading

Meat Beat Agent
Aug 5, 2007

felonious assault with a sproinging boner
Lie Bot is a perfectly honest man when it comes to it being time to look at a robot's rear end.

csammis
Aug 26, 2003

Mental Institution

feetnotes posted:

I'm pretty sure the thing with Lie Bot is that actually he never lies. I tried to go through and check once but I got bored and quit. Anyway that's my fan theory thank you for reading

Lie Bot will lie to Phillipe without hesitation

withak
Jan 15, 2003


Fun Shoe

tacodaemon posted:

Lie Bot doesn't seem to be lying at all in that one

The lie is that the rear end isn't that bad for a robot.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013


but why learn Chinese just to bug a guy

Tarranon
Oct 10, 2007

Diggity Dog

feetnotes posted:

I'm pretty sure the thing with Lie Bot is that actually he never lies. I tried to go through and check once but I got bored and quit. Anyway that's my fan theory thank you for reading

holy, that is...loving amazeing..jesus Christ just the level of, wow just how many turns ahead can one guy think haha oh Onstad you beautiful crazy son of a bitch!!

Tarranon
Oct 10, 2007

Diggity Dog

oh...

Zereth
Jul 9, 2003



feetnotes posted:

I'm pretty sure the thing with Lie Bot is that actually he never lies. I tried to go through and check once but I got bored and quit. Anyway that's my fan theory thank you for reading
I'm pretty sure he lied about all those famous people coming to his Subway during that arc.

And he definitely lied to somebody on the phone about a famous person showing up right then.

Leroy Dennui
Aug 9, 2014

Gina McCarthy made us gay,
but we would not have met
had Biden not dropped his cones
:gaysper::frogbon:

Zereth posted:

I'm pretty sure he lied about all those famous people coming to his Subway during that arc.

And he definitely lied to somebody on the phone about a famous person showing up right then.

That's Vlad you're thinking of, and tough guys never lie.

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Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

this is me posting irl

Buca di Bepis posted:

Here's a link to the acewhood archive lol: http:thelink

actually the link is http://hell yes

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