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McNally posted:If I truly hated people, my hold music would be "In the Air Tonight" with the standard "please stay on the line" message played right when the drums hit. That would make me throw the phone across the room.
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Sep 12, 2016 14:34
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If I could choose my hold music I would use some version of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHFM7f1ErZo Right now we have nothing.
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Sep 12, 2016 14:37
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Renegret posted:What I can't zone out is the sound of silence being broken. Every 16 seconds. I counted. Sounds like my life. The worst hold music I deal with is where it interrupts the music playing, does the little speech, then restarts the music from the beginning. I want it to continue, I was enjoying that, now I have just the first 15s playing in my head all day 
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Sep 12, 2016 15:14
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McNally posted:If I truly hated people, my hold music would be "In the Air Tonight" with the standard "please stay on the line" message played right when the drums hit. you diabolical motherfucker. Turnover in tier 1 would be astronomical as every one of them gets poo poo on by pissy callers every single day, even when their problem wasn't that bad to begin with.
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Sep 12, 2016 15:17
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I think I'll just put some Fallout 4 music in there or something.
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Sep 12, 2016 15:19
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SEKCobra posted:I think I'll just put some Fallout 4 music in there or something.
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Sep 12, 2016 15:24
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McNally posted:If I truly hated people, my hold music would be "In the Air Tonight" with the standard "please stay on the line" message played right when the drums hit. You absolute bastard
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Sep 12, 2016 15:30
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Alternatively https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBQE_TNI7zw And between replays "Glory to Arstotzka!" 
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Sep 12, 2016 16:00
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"apology comrade, your ticket has been... eliminate. Have good day."
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Sep 12, 2016 16:06
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Just had to ring to get my car serviced, and their hold tune was a plinky piano tune, including a generic English accented man telling you how much they appreciate my service... interrupted every often by a more local women telling you they appreciate my service.
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Sep 12, 2016 16:36
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My voice is still on the hold message at the job I left in 2004.
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Sep 12, 2016 16:49
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If I was tasked with creating hold music, it would be a collection of people saying how much the call is appreciated all interrupting each other at random intervals forever. Maybe every 2 minutes it would play 10 seconds of music and then get right back into Appreciation Station mode.
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Sep 12, 2016 17:03
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I just got a call from AT&T asking for an update on an issue that we reported to them and proofed out to be on their side of the demark. I...uh... 
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Sep 12, 2016 17:26
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Judge Schnoopy posted:If I was tasked with creating hold music, it would be a collection of people saying how much the call is appreciated all interrupting each other at random intervals forever. Maybe every 2 minutes it would play 10 seconds of music and then get right back into Appreciation Station mode. http://conferencecall.biz/
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Sep 12, 2016 17:46
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How about this for hold music? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsU3B0W3TMs No? Maybe this one? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0E680Lb8aOk
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Sep 12, 2016 17:56
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It's like someone tried very very hard to make Schala's theme using windows error beeps but came just short.
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Sep 12, 2016 18:03
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neogeo0823 posted:How about this for hold music? I haven't seen this in about 8 years. I think piano instrumentals of two steps from hell songs would work well like this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pXsfrXn7LU
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Sep 12, 2016 18:19
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One of our internet providers used to have a clip that had a Legend of Zelda bit in it, it was from Windwaker I think. It was just recognizable enough that I knew it was Zelda, but not enough that I could figure out which one it came from.
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Sep 12, 2016 18:36
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The steps needed to recover root passwords from a Cisco UCS and from vsphere 5 are infuriating. Yeah just let me shut everything down, no problems there. Of course the guy who worked here that I replaced went radio silent.
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Sep 12, 2016 18:57
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Bigass Moth posted:The steps needed to recover root passwords from a Cisco UCS and from vsphere 5 are infuriating. Yeah just let me shut everything down, no problems there. Can't you recover one fabric at a time? I vaguely remember having to do this due to me being a retard and somehow either deleting or not saving the password in the password manager. edit: nevermind it was done during a maintenance window so I guess I did have to shut the whole thing down. Would it be too much to hope you have someplace else to vmotion everything to or is this a "welp everything's hosed and can't get in until we shut the whole thing down"? Nuclearmonkee fucked around with this message at 19:28 on Sep 12, 2016 |
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Sep 12, 2016 19:13
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I believe so, but that still requires downtime, on site data center access, change control and another mile of red tape.
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Sep 12, 2016 19:21
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Bigass Moth posted:I believe so, but that still requires downtime, on site data center access, change control and another mile of red tape. Sounds like someone else that lives the hell I am in.
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Sep 12, 2016 19:25
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MF_James posted:Sounds like someone else that lives the hell I am in. I am so glad that my current employer doesn't blink twice when I ask for things like console servers for places where it's important and/or datacenter access is annoying.
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Sep 12, 2016 19:26
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Methanar posted:I haven't seen this in about 8 years. I love that this "tutorial" would require, at minimum, three pianos to pull off because of the sustains and the glissando, and probably five people unless you've got some crazy hand span and dexterity.
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Sep 12, 2016 19:40
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The boss at my first job told me this story, and I have no means of determining if it's true or not. He used to work for BASF. They outsourced the internal IT helpdesk operation where he was in charge and they gave him the boot, allowing two weeks for him to continue transitioning responsibilities. He had access to their hold music system and promptly set it up to play Polish funeral dirges, the Soviet national anthem, and Twisted Sister amongst others. He apparently didn't care about the reference, but hey. Friendly reminder that Callin' Oates is a thing, and every organization should program an extension for decent tones. 719-26-OATES.
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Sep 12, 2016 20:05
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Dick Trauma posted:My voice is still on the hold message at the job I left in 2004. Unrelated but a client from a past job told me I sounded like the male Delta Airlines intercom voice they broadcast in airports. Could never find a sample to confirm though. Renegret posted:I just got a call from AT&T asking for an update on an issue that we reported to them and proofed out to be on their side of the demark. AT&T, Century Link and Time Warner are all this way, I know from experience - I've had miserable experiences with CL especially, like when power went out to a client site and somehow wiped their DSL modem settings completely. I guess whomever programmed it didn't remember to apply/save their settings so that was fun calling them, getting a tech that knew jack poo poo, then pulling documentation for said client so we could program the modem properly ourselves. Time Warner was just as bad, possibly worse, on account of them shutting off service "accidentally" last year for another client of mine, then refusing to dispatch emergency techs to fix it until I threatened to cancel service. They were at fault and finally admitted it, somehow they had lines at the utility pole marked wrong and shut service off to my client instead of the deadbeat a neighborhood over who wasn't paying his bill. There's a reason we call TWC "Totally Worthless Crap" where I work and live. Mr. Wookums posted:Dude, let it go. SupercalafragilisticexpialaHoldPlease BOOTY-ADE fucked around with this message at 20:57 on Sep 12, 2016 |
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Sep 12, 2016 20:41
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whoops double post
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Sep 12, 2016 20:56
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Renegret posted:I just got a call from AT&T asking for an update on an issue that we reported to them and proofed out to be on their side of the demark. Oh you sweet summer child  . We've had a customer do that to us for several weeks now despite us patently proving it was their equipment on the day they lodged the ticket (Surely we can do more tests on our network or something to be certain, he kept asking us ever so nicely to do so too...). We only just got him to finally realize the fault is in their equipment before it reaches us.
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Sep 12, 2016 21:08
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BOOTY-ADE posted:AT&T, Ugh... If you have their lovely "UVerse" service, on occasion they will push out a firmware update for the modem/gateway that also results in the thing being reset to defaults. This isn't a problem for most home customers, but if you are a business and have the "pass-through" option enabled so you can use your own router without double-NAT, it becomes a problem. The one location I have on UVerse has experienced this twice now.
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Sep 12, 2016 21:12
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My company's phone system automatically makes you listen to a cubicle troll oh so slowly ask if you want English or Spanish before transferring you to the same number no matter what. And it is completely unskippable.
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Sep 12, 2016 21:16
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BOOTY-ADE posted:AT&T, Century Link and Time Warner are all this way, I know from experience - I've had miserable experiences with CL especially, like when power went out to a client site and somehow wiped their DSL modem settings completely. I guess whomever programmed it didn't remember to apply/save their settings so that was fun calling them, getting a tech that knew jack poo poo, then pulling documentation for said client so we could program the modem properly ourselves. Time Warner was just as bad, possibly worse, on account of them shutting off service "accidentally" last year for another client of mine, then refusing to dispatch emergency techs to fix it until I threatened to cancel service. They were at fault and finally admitted it, somehow they had lines at the utility pole marked wrong and shut service off to my client instead of the deadbeat a neighborhood over who wasn't paying his bill. There's a reason we call TWC "Totally Worthless Crap" where I work and live. All communication providers are pure poo poo.
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Sep 12, 2016 21:17
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Methanar posted:I haven't seen this in about 8 years. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdUy70dh8LY Or maybe one of Conlon Nancarrow's works for player piano. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kdm04Rz3wTk
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Sep 12, 2016 21:21
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stevewm posted:Ugh... If you have their lovely "UVerse" service, on occasion they will push out a firmware update for the modem/gateway that also results in the thing being reset to defaults. Not only does it double-NAT, it supposedly has a connection table limit of 2500 but the limit is more like 1600. Absolutely garbage.
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Sep 12, 2016 21:21
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darthbob88 posted:Possibly Circus Galop, which requires striking up to 21 simultaneous notes. 21 simultaneous notes? You can totally do that. If you are a dude.
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Sep 12, 2016 21:31
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Wasn't familiar with Circus Gallop so I googled it. Found this: https://vimeo.com/56412856
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Sep 12, 2016 21:35
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This, or really anything else from the Stanley Parable soundtrack would make great hold music.
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Sep 12, 2016 21:39
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spog posted:21 simultaneous notes? use your nose
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Sep 12, 2016 21:49
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Fudge posted:Not only does it double-NAT, it supposedly has a connection table limit of 2500 but the limit is more like 1600. Absolutely garbage. And good news today! A local cable company can now serve said location and in about 5 weeks said location will no longer have to endure the blistering 5/1 speeds of Uverse... Or their forced lovely gateway.
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Sep 12, 2016 21:56
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neogeo0823 posted:How about this for hold music? Eerily reminiscent of the music from Unreal.
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Sep 12, 2016 22:23
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Neddy Seagoon posted:Oh you sweet summer child The kicker is that we're also an ISP. I get it, ISP to customer communication, half the time you're getting some underpaid shleb in a call center who either doesn't care or is a plain idiot. However, I absolutely hold ISP to ISP communication to a higher standard because there is so much more on the line if something goes tits up. I don't speak to people in customer service, I'm usually communicating with other NOCs or some sort of management. Ironically, Verizon is the easiest to work with even though they're our #1 competitor. And the worst part, no matter how much of a pain in the rear end AT&T was for me today, they'll never come close to how awful Time Warner can be on the best of days. AT&T was unorganized but at least friendly and cooperative, TWC has been straight up belligerent every time I've called them for something.
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Sep 12, 2016 22:28
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