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SiGmA_X
May 3, 2004
SiGmA_X

Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

Tell your dad to :sever: , don't have any kids with her, lawyer up, hit the gym, and delete his facebook.
Best advice ever. Its really the only route.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

So I have been with this guy for about a year and just this month he asked me to marry him. I really think he is a great guy but he's my first real relationship so I may be putting up with some of his behavior because I love him.

I know he does care for me... I'm sure of it. But he asks me to buy things I can't afford to be buying where I'm at in my life right now. He doesn't make a lot of money but he is used to buying things that I would consider expensive. I'm from a family who saves. And he likes to spend his paycheck... all of it. He doesn't have 1 dollar in savings.

So he is broke... lives in a gym... but has expensive taste. He likes to eat at restaurants since he can't cook at the gym. I offer him alternative ideas but he just rejects them. Like buying a portable stove so he can cook there, or that I buy him things from yard sales etc. I've paid for his pre-workouts which are like 60 bucks. These days I pay for food when we hang out. Oftentimes when I pay cash he keeps the change.

Recently, he asked me to buy him shoes because there was a tear in the ones he just bought. These are 140 dollars shoes... and he wanted the exact same pair. On top of that, he wanted me to pay for his pre-workout and then get a hotel when I visit. I don't make much and can't afford this. And I want to save some of my money for when I need it. But the way it is now, I'm spending most of it on him. He got upset when I told him I didn't want to buy him the shoes... and that I just wanted to know he's not using me for money. He gave me a spiel about how he wanted to be in a mature relationship... or be with someone who would dip into their pockets when needed. He called me greedy for when I brought up the talk about the money. So I agreed to pay just for his preworkout... and he kind of calmed down.

But I've always supported him any way I can. I drive there and wherever he wants... to the other gym, mall, his bank, his fights out of town, etc. I give him food. I listen to him. I miss work when he wants me to stay with him. It's long distance so I drive like more than an hour and pay for gas and toll fees.

He does pay for the food sometimes... but he's never spent more than 20 dollars on me. He usually makes like about 300-400 per month. Plus the 1k he got this month. All that's left of that is around 80 bucks. He's bought a 500 dollar bike, a mattress, 2 pairs of shoes, and other stuff... and most of it he spent on food.

I do want to help him in his situation but I don't know if it's right to enable his spending habits. I don't know what I should do... I feel like a lovely girlfriend when I don't help out financially. But I really don't think we should be spending so much. Am I being unreasonable?

tl;dr: Boyfriend is broke and makes me buy him things cause I make slightly more money than he does. Don't know if this is normal. What do?
Dude. Not normal. Sever.

SiGmA_X fucked around with this message at 19:51 on Sep 16, 2016

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monster on a stick
Apr 29, 2013

Parallel Paraplegic posted:

How the hell do you live at a gym without them kicking you out, does he just keep lifting 24/7?

I know of a small gym near me that's technically open 24/7, the owner gives you the keys so you can come in anytime, you just have to lockup if you leave and nobody else is there.

He should do what all the cool Redditors are doing these days: sleep in his Volt in the company parking lot.

monster on a stick fucked around with this message at 19:50 on Sep 16, 2016

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Parallel Paraplegic posted:

How the hell do you live at a gym without them kicking you out, does he just keep lifting 24/7?


e: I just noticed the "I drive him to the other gym" line :psyduck:

It was hilarious to me because I thought he euphemistically "lived at the gym" and then it quickly became clear that no, he does, in fact, live at the gym.

roadhead
Dec 25, 2001

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

It was hilarious to me because I thought he euphemistically "lived at the gym" and then it quickly became clear that no, he does, in fact, live at the gym.

This $60 pre-workout expense, is that like a DAILY $60 or $60 for a months worth of supplements?

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

Where did he put the mattress?!

Tiny Brontosaurus
Aug 1, 2013

by Lowtax

Parallel Paraplegic posted:

How the hell do you live at a gym without them kicking you out, does he just keep lifting 24/7?


e: I just noticed the "I drive him to the other gym" line :psyduck:

She probably means he lives somewhere like a YMCA.

Moneyball
Jul 11, 2005

It's a problem you think we need to explain ourselves.

Parallel Paraplegic posted:

Where did he put the mattress?!

Click here to find out.


Trainers hate him.

lostleaf
Jul 12, 2009

quote:

tl;dr: Boyfriend is broke and makes me buy him things cause I make slightly more money than he does. Don't know if this is normal. What do?

:roflolmao:. You just made my day a little brighter. What's the source?

grenada
Apr 20, 2013
Relax.
It sounds like he is an amateur boxer or MMA. Probably lives at the tiny gross gym where he trains. The 400 a month he makes is probably from the amateur fights.

Strangelet Wave
Nov 6, 2004

Surely you're joking!

roadhead posted:

This $60 pre-workout expense, is that like a DAILY $60 or $60 for a months worth of supplements?

Yeah "pre-workout" looks like a modifier missing its object. His pre-workout... massage? Pre-workout yoga class? Pre-workout horse therapy session?

in fact hmm there seems to be rather a large number of hidden assumptions going on in that post

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

Strangelet Wave posted:

Yeah "pre-workout" looks like a modifier missing its object. His pre-workout... massage? Pre-workout yoga class? Pre-workout horse therapy session?

in fact hmm there seems to be rather a large number of hidden assumptions going on in that post

For some reason I assumed it was a pre-workout... workout. Hence why he needs two different gyms.

GoGoGadgetChris
Mar 18, 2010

i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog
I always hear "preworkout" in the context of a supplement that is mostly caffeine and sugar and costs $1-2 per serving, so that seems... reasonable.

Like, stupid, but reasonable for what it is (a dumb thing)

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
That dude is doing it right though. Just a hunch that he has another girl all lined up for when this one cuts the cord.

Moneyball
Jul 11, 2005

It's a problem you think we need to explain ourselves.
Both of the last posts are correct.

Also, preworkouts are an awesome wasteful product. Better off just having a cup of coffee, but some of those recipes with the meth in them were 5/5, would tweak again.

GoGoGadgetChris
Mar 18, 2010

i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog
I think PWOs work really, really well. Only reason I don't use them is they're expensive and addictive.

Like... you've never had a worse workout than the first clean one after 5x PWO workouts.

Atma McCuddles
Sep 2, 2007

Solice Kirsk posted:

That dude is doing it right though. Just a hunch that he has another girl all lined up for when this one cuts the cord.

100%, and also the subtext of that whole post is that dude is really, really, really hot. Even the dumbest girl on the planet would sever a 3/10 for that poo poo.

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

GoGoGadgetChris posted:

I think PWOs work really, really well. Only reason I don't use them is they're expensive and addictive.

Like... you've never had a worse workout than the first clean one after 5x PWO workouts.

Oh so it literally is just some technically-legal amphetamine or something, okay

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

Atma McCuddles posted:

100%, and also the subtext of that whole post is that dude is really, really, really hot. Even the dumbest girl on the planet would sever a 3/10 for that poo poo.

I mean yeah, living at a gym could either make you really hot or make you this guy




Yes I cheated and just did a gis for synthol

22 Eargesplitten
Oct 10, 2010



It really depends. Some of them are just a bunch of different supplements, like 30 of them, all at 1/30 of the normal dosage. And since the vast majority haven't been tested, 2/3 or more probably don't do anything.

Pretty much the only known to work supplements are illegal because they are dangerous, BCAAs, protein, or caffeine.

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

22 Eargesplitten posted:

It really depends. Some of them are just a bunch of different supplements, like 30 of them, all at 1/30 of the normal dosage. And since the vast majority haven't been tested, 2/3 or more probably don't do anything.

Pretty much the only known to work supplements are illegal because they are dangerous, BCAAs, protein, or caffeine.

Isn't there one chemical that actually makes you burn fat, like directly increases your metabolism, and we stopped using it in the 30's because it worked so well the burning fat would basically cook people alive

fake edit: yep

Don't do workout drugs kids

Wickerman
Feb 26, 2007

Boom, mothafucka!

Parallel Paraplegic posted:

Isn't there one chemical that actually makes you burn fat, like directly increases your metabolism, and we stopped using it in the 30's because it worked so well the burning fat would basically cook people alive

fake edit: yep

Don't do workout drugs kids

im pretty sure that hyperthermia due to OD wasnt the only reason they stopped using it. P sure it causes cataracts due to oxidative stress which is probably bad and also BWM

DoubleT2172
Sep 24, 2007

Wickerman posted:

im pretty sure that hyperthermia due to OD wasnt the only reason they stopped using it. P sure it causes cataracts due to oxidative stress which is probably bad and also BWM

Correct. Also some people get a reaction and break out in all over hives too.

22 Eargesplitten
Oct 10, 2010



Lol, I was actually thinking about DNP after I posted that. I took a diet and exercise class in college when I needed easy credits. One online discussion, I did a write-up on it, and everyone's reaction was pretty much :stare:. Even the teacher hadn't heard of it. I think my exact words were that if you dose yourself incorrectly, your body boils itself to death from the inside.

BonerGhost
Mar 9, 2007

DoubleT2172 posted:

Correct. Also some people get a reaction and break out in all over hives too.

That's a standard allergic reaction. Find a protein, some person somewhere has had that reaction to it.

E: screw both of the dipshits who got married without a care in the world for practical matters such as marital finances. She either lied or doesn't think divorce is an option, and he's a loving idiot:
1. Divorce is an option; if your new spouse discloses something this significant after you get married, it's a GOOD option
2. Adults can talk about their finances. If you're thinking about marriage but haven't had a finances talk, at least one of you is either a complete moron or is dishonest.
3. Why immediately spend $17k if he wasn't comfortable spending it? Was a couple weeks to learn, oh, i dunno, the basics of how credit ratings work (cancel the paid off cards and shred the one active one, really? That's his loving solution?) really going to make it or break it on the debt situation? Good for him for having some savings, but bad for him that he would spend 17k in a heartbeat without apparently giving any thought to the consequences of spending it.
4. I understand and agree with the decision to replenish savings. However, he frames it not that way, but as her paying him back. Unless they're in a community property state, he doesn't inherit her debts, and her credit only becomes a factor for future shared accounts and that mortgage down the road. Obviously it will affect household finances since things with her name on them will cost more, but he wouldn't have been on the hook for a dime of hers.
5. Now he can't even divorce her because he can't part with that savings, and if they split he won't see another dime because he's a loving idiot.

I hate both of these people and have determined they deserve each other. I predict they'll get pregnant before they realize that a hospital birth costs money, and he'll be back in here like "how could i have possibly known my wife wanted children, if only there were some way to find out????"

BonerGhost fucked around with this message at 22:19 on Sep 16, 2016

Dogcow
Jun 21, 2005

Yeah divorce can be kinda BWM.

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/09/16/world/asia/china-divorce-grindr-kunlun.html

nyt posted:

BEIJING — Divorce can take a toll. For the Chinese tycoon behind the gay dating app Grindr, that toll comes to $1.14 billion.

canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005


I only have canyoneyes for you

She must have a good lawyr, taking that guy to the cleanrs

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

lostleaf posted:

:roflolmao:. You just made my day a little brighter. What's the source?
It's reddit again, /r/relationships not personal finance.

pr0zac
Jan 18, 2004

~*lukecagefan69*~


Pillbug

22 Eargesplitten posted:

Lol, I was actually thinking about DNP after I posted that. I took a diet and exercise class in college when I needed easy credits. One online discussion, I did a write-up on it, and everyone's reaction was pretty much :stare:. Even the teacher hadn't heard of it. I think my exact words were that if you dose yourself incorrectly, your body boils itself to death from the inside.

DNP is fascinating as hell. It acts as a shuttle across cell membranes literally making your mitochondria leak protons causing the ATP cycle to be much less efficient as all the lost protons get converted to heat. Also yeah, will boil you from the inside and give you cataracts and is considered industrial waste by the EPA.


Also did MoneyBall seriously post MRA videos a few pages back with no one calling him on it?

Byzantine
Sep 1, 2007

Krispy Kareem posted:

Home Depot dad sounds like someone who doesn't realize that's just Wal-Mart with an apron. I have no idea how much Home Depot employees make, but no one's ever told me, "wow, did you know how much Home Depot employees make?" People have done that for places like Aldi and Costco and I don't think he's going to support himself working at those two places either.

It was a decent retail job, I got 9.50 and benefits even though I was a part-timer. It's a drat sight better than Wal-Mart and tossing concrete around all day gets you swole, but...

Moneyball
Jul 11, 2005

It's a problem you think we need to explain ourselves.

pr0zac posted:

DNP is fascinating as hell. It acts as a shuttle across cell membranes literally making your mitochondria leak protons causing the ATP cycle to be much less efficient as all the lost protons get converted to heat. Also yeah, will boil you from the inside and give you cataracts and is considered industrial waste by the EPA.


Also did MoneyBall seriously post MRA videos a few pages back with no one calling him on it?

Is that what that is?

I said the dude was a sad manchild, but he had a "don't date girls with horses" video. Relevant.

pr0zac
Jan 18, 2004

~*lukecagefan69*~


Pillbug

Moneyball posted:

Is that what that is?

I said the dude was a sad manchild, but he had a "don't date girls with horses" video. Relevant.

Ya sorry wasn't accusing you of being an MRA at all, the horse connect makes sense, just surprised no one else that also posts in some of the "terrible people online" threads noticed.

Switchback
Jul 23, 2001

Speaking of pre-workout:

quote:

For a man heading to prison for selling dangerous weight-loss pills, it seemed a curious time for supplement designer Matt Cahill to start his next company and put a powerful and illegal designer steroid product on the market.

Cahill was facing federal charges for mixing a highly toxic pesticide [DNP] with baking powder, stuffing it in capsules and selling it over the Internet for weight loss.
...
Cahill's latest best seller, Craze, was named 2012's "New Supplement of the Year" by bodybuilding.com. The pre-workout powder promises "endless energy" and has come under increasing scrutiny over the past year. Lab tests by the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency, a government-affiliated lab in Sweden and industry competitors have detected undisclosed amphetamine-like compounds in samples of what's labeled as an all-natural supplement and sold in GNC stores and on a variety of websites, including Walmart's and Amazon's.
Follow up in 2015, somehow the case was dismissed. Not so much BWM content just an interesting story.

CannonFodder
Jan 26, 2001

Passion’s Wrench

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

So I have been with this guy for about a year and just this month he asked me to marry him. I really think he is a great guy but he's my first real relationship so I may be putting up with some of his behavior because I love him.


tl;dr: Boyfriend is broke and makes me buy him things cause I make slightly more money than he does. Don't know if this is normal. What do?
What the gently caress is a pre-workout and why does it cost $60 every week?

edit: this has been explained and I am a dum dum




vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv even multi-vitamins? :ohdear:

CannonFodder fucked around with this message at 18:09 on Sep 18, 2016

Enfys
Feb 17, 2013

The ocean is calling and I must go

Taking any kind of dietary or exercise supplement pill is pretty BWM since you are probably not taking what is on the box, or at least not in the quantities advertised.

Poldarn
Feb 18, 2011

My pre-workout is usually a handful of candy I steal from a co-worker. GWM.

BonerGhost
Mar 9, 2007

Enfys posted:

Taking any kind of dietary or exercise supplement pill is pretty BWM since you are probably not taking what is on the box, or at least not in the quantities advertised.

Pretty bad with life. Yes, it goes for vitamins as well. That trash isn't regulated. There is literally no one ensuring the active ingredient is present, the dose is as stated, and that it doesn't contain adulterants.

Trillian
Sep 14, 2003

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/539q7f/really_fucked_up_at_the_car_dealer_this_weekend/ posted:

Hey guys. First off, I know. I'm not looking for retrospective advice on what I "should have done." I know. I get it. I need advice moving forward and to see what my options are.

I don't want to get into too specific details, but in thinking about how to cut down my expenses and debt, this week I figured I'd look into trading my car in for a cheaper one to both reduce overall debt as well as monthly payments.

The car I had going into this had 37,500 left on it. it appraised for 30,500,so I'm upside down (at a dealer) that much.

I found a cheaper car that I really liked for 34. I told them that it wasn't going to happen being so upside down. So they said they would help with my negative equity and took 6k off the sticker. This is for a new car, so I was very excited. It brought the new car to a purchase price of 28. Great, good progress.

We started doing the paperwork, and that's when the 7k I'm upside down played in. I know this is my fault entirely, but this is how it plays out. I had an important meeting half hour after paperwork started so I was stressed and not thinking. I should have stopped signing once I saw the final numbers: the new loan would be 1k more than my current, for a car worth less, at twice the interest rate. I'm a goddamn idiot, but not being mentally clear I signed stuff, and then immediately regretted it. I thought I had a couple days to bring it back and reverse the deal (I read a clause in the contract saying I have 2 weeks to bring it back, but it turns out that's it they can't finance me. I dont see that being a problem that I can leverage against...) so I tried taking the new car back today (by the way I still have the older car and it's title in hand, but legally obviously theirs since I signed.)

Anyway I'm freaking out. As it is, instead of being 4-7k upside down on a car (that I really liked anyway), now I'm double that, with essentially the same amount of debt, for a car worth less. What can I do?? Apparently buyers protection doesn't exist for autos. I really don't want to get rid of my old car, this was just a stressed, pressured, spontaneous, terrible decision. I'm going in Monday to see if the general manager is willing to reverse this, maybe with 500-1k on my end for "restocking fee" or something to help sway him.
Does anyone have any ideas? I feel like absolute poo poo right now.

Thanks for the downvotes. Totally needed that since I totally don't know that I'm in the wrong. /s figures on this sub. You all put money before everything else, because nothing is more important than money!

quote:

It's insane to me that someone can get into such a ridiculous situation so easily and quickly with literally no protection. I understand it's my fault but why aren't there 3-day grace periods I've heard so much about that don't actually exist? That seems pretty reasonable to me, especially in a situation like this where I haven't even driven the car except home and back to the dealer.

I genuinely cannot comprehend how anyone could need legislative protection to help them with the quandary of, "if I am getting rid of a car to save money, should I get another car for even more money?"

Humphrey Appleby
Oct 30, 2013

Knowledge only means complicity in guilt; ignorance has a certain dignity.

Trillian posted:

I genuinely cannot comprehend how anyone could need legislative protection to help them with the quandary of, "if I am getting rid of a car to save money, should I get another car for even more money?"

I think it's reasonable to have some sort of grace period. It's easy to make mistakes. I think it's on the same level of there should be some forgiveness for student loans. We should accept people are going to make mistakes and figure out ways to limit the impact that mistake has on their lives as a society.

Edit: Social responsibility BWFYGM

Zanthia
Dec 2, 2014

Trillian posted:

I genuinely cannot comprehend how anyone could need legislative protection to help them with the quandary of, "if I am getting rid of a car to save money, should I get another car for even more money?"
I have a family member who works for a major bank's auto loan division, and they are really worried about regulators noticing them. And that's a bank, not even a shady dealership financing department. Based on that, I suspect the average car buyer does need more protection.

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Trillian
Sep 14, 2003

Humphrey Appleby posted:

I think it's reasonable to have some sort of grace period. It's easy to make mistakes. I think it's on the same level of there should be some forgiveness for student loans. We should accept people are going to make mistakes and figure out ways to limit the impact that mistake has on their lives as a society.

Edit: Social responsibility BWFYGM

I think the dealer should be ashamed, but that is basic math, not some 'hidden fees' scenario. If you can't handle that, you need a POA managing your finances.

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