|
Do you have a $38 pair of underwear? A THIRTY EIGHT DOLLAR PAIR. As an owner of an entire drawer full of luxury undies, let me tell you: they're amazing. Every morning I wake up and put on the best underwear humanity has created. Each one is made from something extravagant: Egyptian cottons, 17.5 micron merino wools, teddybear-soft modal, and they feel like supportive air. That's my life. Now it can be your life. I'm not selling you anything, this is an exploit. I'm sharing this exploit because you're my friend. When you shake my hand next time we meet, know this: I'm wearing luxury underwear. I hope you will be too. Here's how it works: Luxury underwear companies are confident. Each one has a claim similar to, "If this is not the best pair of underwear you have *EVER WORN*, it's free" If you're an honest person, like me, you can only pay for one pair: the best you've ever worn. If you pay for your entire drawer full of rich people underwear, you're a liar. The Underwears: ---- Mack Weldon https://goo.gl/sgp4q6 Mack Weldon's "Try On Guarantee" says that if you don't love your first pair, they're free. Be aware that loving a material object is a sign of loneliness. For mental health's sake, try not to fall in love with underwear. Refund experience: A single email was sent, and they replied the next day that they were refunding the undies. Template: trial@mackweldon.com Hello, I'd like a refund on ORDER #XXXXXXXX I like the underwear very much, but I'm not in love with them.Thank you for the fast shipping and great service to date. ---- Tommy John https://goo.gl/sRhDZU Tommy John's "Best Pair You'll Ever Wear" guarantee is pretty simple. If it's not the best pair you've ever worn, you'd be a liar to pay for it. The guarantee includes free undies and a shirt. Refund experience: Two emails were required. First I requested the refund, then they asked "what is the best pair you've ever worn". After I answered, the refund for both shirt & undies was processed. Template: support@tommyjohn.com Hello, I'd like to initiate a refund on order #xxxxx I believe this refund falls under the new customer guarantee. Thank you for your time. ---- Meundies https://goo.gl/OUNi2i Meundies claims on their page that you are purchasing "The World's Most comfortable Underwear". They also have a "100% satisfaction guarantee". If they don't deliver you the literal "world's most comfortable underwear", then it's impossible to be 100% satisfied, and your undies are free. Refund experience: Quick, painless, nearly immediate. One email. Template: support@meundies.com Hello, I'd like to initiate a refund on order #xxxxxxxx Thanks for your time. ---- Wool&Prince https://goo.gl/cT2wkO Wool&Prince has a "First pair on us if you're not satisfied" guarantee. Their marketing doesn't make outrageous claims, but they do say "you'll love our boxer briefs." If you don't feel true love for the underwear, you can rightly claim a refund and enjoy free undies. Refund experience: I didn't refund mine because I legit fell in love, but my friend received a refund to his card a few days after the single email. Template: help@woolandprince.com Hello, I was not 100% satisfied and I'd like a refund for the boxers on order #xxxxx Thank you for your time. ---- Keep in mind all of the above are for "new customers". If you've previously purchased from one of the underwear stores above, they're not going to refund you. That's all for today, more to come. I apologize for not studying women's underwear. I tried yesterday but my mom walked in the room and I became very embarrassed, even though she said looking at the JCPenney catalog is healthy for a young man. Such a good mom. I love you, mom! If you have any questions let me know, I'll be posting all day. If you liked this add me to your buddy list on the SomethingAwful forums: http://forums.somethingawful.com/member.php?action=getinfo&userid=197075 Fansy fucked around with this message at 00:29 on Sep 21, 2016 |
# ? Sep 20, 2016 20:19 |
|
|
# ? May 16, 2024 18:38 |
|
What are you gonna do with the drawer part though? Do they make you buy the rest of the dresser? That's where they get you.
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 20:22 |
Every day I wear new socks and then they get washed and donated meanwhile you're scamming for underwear. Feels good man.
|
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 20:26 |
|
When the OP winds up in federal prison for interstate mail fraud, I wonder who's underwear he'll be wearing.
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 20:31 |
|
Commando 4 life your junk doesnt need to be coddled or supported just let it hang out.
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 20:33 |
|
lol if your underwear isn't hand tailored by a seamstress to fit your gigantic, world-encircling dong
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 20:39 |
|
I'll purchase expensive dong cloth only if it uses scented threads to make my skidmarks smell like pinecones
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 20:44 |
|
Merino wool is a poor choice for boxers/briefs imo
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 21:41 |
|
Absolute Lithops posted:Merino wool is a poor choice for boxers/briefs imo it's resistant to odor and at 17.5 micron it's actually thin and cool. I love mine.
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 21:48 |
|
Wow it transforms your farts into an aromatic bouquet.
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 21:51 |
|
Roylicious posted:Every day I wear new socks and then they get washed and donated meanwhile you're scamming for underwear. america has reached a point where if you hold a business accountable for a thing they promise you in advertising you have just committed GRAND THEFT UNDERWEAR i can't possibly care enough about 'luxury' underwear enough to do this, but if too many people do it they can just...all stop promising a money back guarantee that they are the best of the 18 brands of 38 dollar underwear made by 15 year old girls in sri lanka
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 21:56 |
|
extra stout posted:america has reached a point where if you hold a business accountable for a thing they promise you in advertising you have just committed GRAND THEFT UNDERWEAR Book 'em!!!
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 21:59 |
|
how much is your alimony that you are this desperate
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 22:00 |
extra stout posted:the best of the 18 brands of 38 dollar underwear made by 15 year old girls in sri lanka Those factories provide jobs that pay way more than anything else they'd probably be doing instead, they should be grateful for economic development The USA had its industrialization period with child labor and sketchy safety, too. Growing pains.
|
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 22:06 |
|
They don't make 100% polyester boxers anymore and that makes me sad.
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 22:09 |
|
All this email and bullshit seems like a hassle and lot less fun than just stealing the underwear drawer of a rich man, or robbing a Lululemon warehouse. I wanted a heist but this all mail order.
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 22:12 |
|
wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 22:14 |
|
The trick is to be dishonest? That is no way to raise your genitalia
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 22:16 |
|
donkey salami posted:The trick is to be dishonest? At no point was I dishonest, quite the opposite.
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 22:21 |
|
Roylicious posted:Those factories provide jobs that pay way more than anything else they'd probably be doing instead, they should be grateful for economic development you went from sucking off the fat cats in the big undy businesses to instead claiming it is good that we pay for child labor instead of doing it here i uhhh don't know which thing to reply to anymore i hope thousands of goons refund the underwear as is their right
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 22:24 |
|
Fansy posted:At no point was I dishonest, quite the opposite. You said it's the best underwear humanity has created then you emailed all those people and said you didn't like them. So either you were dishonest with them or with us.
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 22:26 |
|
Novo posted:You said it's the best underwear humanity has created then you emailed all those people and said you didn't like them. So either you were dishonest with them or with us. Only one can truly be the best, and I paid for that one. The others I had to be honest about, as I'm an honest man. Not a liar who pays for underwear out of sympathy.
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 22:30 |
extra stout posted:you went from sucking off the fat cats in the big undy businesses to instead claiming it is good that we pay for child labor instead of doing it here ??? I said I like wearing new socks every day and I was being half facetious about the economic development thing. Relax. Besides neither position is anti-business is it? Cheap labor is good if you're the one paying for it.
|
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 22:39 |
|
Fansy posted:Only one can truly be the best, and I paid for that one. The others I had to be honest about, as I'm an honest man. Not a liar who pays for underwear out of sympathy. Eat your underwear and choke on it.
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 22:41 |
|
Fansy's fanny is doing finey.
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 22:42 |
|
wait i dont understand dont you only have one pair in the end, thats not really a drawer (sorry i got dumped on the head)
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 23:19 |
|
ur not lowtax op gently caress off
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 23:21 |
|
Do they not make you return the underwear if you get a refund? I guess not, otherwise you'd have to post off your used underwear for money, I can't see a goon doing that
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 23:21 |
|
Squalitude posted:Do they not make you return the underwear if you get a refund? I guess not, otherwise you'd have to post off your used underwear for money, I can't see a goon doing that It's like amazon, if you want to return an item that's under like $15 then they just tell you to keep it since it would cost them money for return shipping and they would lose more money listing the item than they would get by reselling it.
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 23:28 |
|
do they make you wash the underwear before returning it?
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 23:28 |
|
Voted 5, my penis thanks you goon sire
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 23:42 |
|
You keep the underwear guys. That's why I posted this
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 23:45 |
|
what is an underwear
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 23:48 |
|
please don't be fraudulent in gbs thanks
|
# ? Sep 20, 2016 23:50 |
|
what kind of drawer is full with four pairs of underwear
|
# ? Sep 21, 2016 00:32 |
|
E Equals MC Hammer posted:please don't be fraudulent in gbs thanks Where is the fraud?
|
# ? Sep 21, 2016 01:39 |
|
If its not the best underwear ever made (crotchless silk thong made in '96) then its not going to be the best pair you've ever worn. But you have no way of knowing this until you try them on.
|
# ? Sep 21, 2016 01:47 |
|
MeUndies are legit the best underwear though
|
# ? Sep 21, 2016 01:51 |
|
like i've gotten $100 bux of free underwear from referring goons it owns
|
# ? Sep 21, 2016 01:52 |
|
|
# ? May 16, 2024 18:38 |
|
no underwear is the best underwear
|
# ? Sep 21, 2016 01:52 |