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get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007

Electric Lady posted:

Reminds me of:


i caught a glimpse of the sentence about her pubes and decided to not read any further

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Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat
Her pubes was a field of wheat after the harvest, a field neatly furrowed; it was a nest, a pomegranate, an arrowhead, a rune. It was a shadow. It was moss on a smooth white stone.

Arc Hammer
Mar 4, 2013

Got any deathsticks?

Wheat Loaf posted:

Was that not Karen Traviss? Although Karen Miller has also written Star Wars books; I believe she did a few Clone Wars tie-ins.

Karen Traviss had been fired by this time. Karen Miller replaced her for the round robin authorship of the Fate of the Jedi series. Miller's books were merely mediocre, while Troy Denning (the author of the aforementioned child molestation Invincible) wrote some downright offensive poo poo, while Aaron Allston wrote some average stuff, and then died making fans of the X-Wing series sad.

Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

Arcsquad12 posted:

Karen Traviss had been fired by this time. Karen Miller replaced her for the round robin authorship of the Fate of the Jedi series. Miller's books were merely mediocre, while Troy Denning (the author of the aforementioned child molestation Invincible) wrote some downright offensive poo poo, while Aaron Allston wrote some average stuff, and then died making fans of the X-Wing series sad.

Christie Golden replaced Traviss for Fate of the Jedi.

Dienes
Nov 4, 2009

dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot


College Slice

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Her pubes was a field of wheat after the harvest, a field neatly furrowed; it was a nest, a pomegranate, an arrowhead, a rune. It was a shadow. It was moss on a smooth white stone.

Pat Rothfuss pen-name spotted.

Stupid_Sexy_Flander
Mar 14, 2007

Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?
Grimey Drawer

Arcsquad12 posted:

I mentioned some star wars books waaaaay back in the thread, and Karen miller has written some of them. The book I mentioned was "invincible", which I believe remains the only star wars book to contain a torture/underage sexual assault scene. Anyways, the series following that book was partially written by miller, and that series involved a psychotic ex imperial admiral becoming space president, a whole new super sith army, and a tentacle monster from a star trek episode as the big villain for the series.

I don't think it was Invincible but it's been years since I read it. I remember the weird bug nest orgy book series, and I know there were a few torture scenes in the Vong series, but I can't recall any kind of sexual assault in the series. Honestly though I gave up when Luke and Ben decided to go somehow force walk around a black hole cluster to fight siths that no one had seen because force users were going insane from ~PLOT REASONS~ that I never figured out.

For every "good" book in the star wars universe, there's like 10 mediocre to complete poo poo ones.

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009

hey! check this out
Fun Shoe

Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

For every "good" book in the star wars universe, there's like 10 mediocre to complete poo poo ones.

For every bad book in the star wars universe there are 10 bad books

Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat
Found an intriguingly old-looking book on a used bookstore's sci-fi shelf the other day and was mildly curious. Decided to look it up.



:(

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



Hey, he got reviewed by at least 4 different people. That's something :shobon:

Arc Hammer
Mar 4, 2013

Got any deathsticks?

Wheat Loaf posted:

Christie Golden replaced Traviss for Fate of the Jedi.

Whoops, you're right. My mistake.

Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

I don't think it was Invincible but it's been years since I read it. I remember the weird bug nest orgy book series, and I know there were a few torture scenes in the Vong series, but I can't recall any kind of sexual assault in the series.

Nope, it's definitely in Invincible. During a botched operation on Coruscant, Ben gets captured by Tahiri, who was working for Jacen in exchange for Jacen letting her have time travel sex with Anakin Solo. So Tahiri straps Ben into a Vong torture chair (the second time in the Legacy of the Force this has happened to Ben, mind you), puts on an unzipped catsuit, and proceeds to start jerking Ben off. A thirty year old woman time travel loving Ben's cousin decides to give a fourteen year old a handjob. And then she proceeds to torture Ben's best friend to death in front of him.

Invincible is a bad book. Like, extremely bad in an anger inducing way. I know planet of Twilight and Darksaber are usually the go-to for bad Star Wars books, but those ones are amusingly bad. Invincible, and most things written by Troy Denning, are just hateful and extremely violent for no good reason. And a lot of them feature weird sex too, like the Dark Nest bug orgies.

Nckdictator
Sep 8, 2006
Just..someone
I know terrible 19th century novels are probably cheating but An Entirely New Feature of a Thrilling Novel! Entitled the Social War of the Year 1900, or Conspirators and Lovers. A Lesson for Saints and Sinners. certainly sounds like something.

http://io9.gizmodo.com/5890703/the-worst-science-fiction-novel-of-the-19th-century

quote:


...The Social War's author, Simon Mohler Landis (?-1902) , certainly has a record to match his novel. A Pennsylvanian clergyman, Landis claimed to be a doctor, although no proof of this could be found. He was forced to declare bankruptcy at least three times in the 1850s and 1860s, and all of his property was seized and sold by the county, yet within a few years he had always recovered and seemed to be prospering, through a combination of lectures and selling products like Dr. Landis' Celebrated Patent Compound Electro-Magnetic Hot and Cold Air Bath and the Patent Compound Male and Female Magnitude Syringe and Organic Bath. In 1865 he founded the "First Progressive Church of Philadelphia," and as its pastor wrote and A Strictly Private Book on Marriage: Secrets of a Generation (1870), a sexual education book that was so explicit (by the standards of the era) in the ensuing trial for obscenity the book was described as "so lewd and filthy, and obscene that it is unfit to be spread upon the records of this court…and hence to read in the presence of a public audience."

Landis was jailed for five months, then released. He moved from Philadelphia to New York City, then to Detroit, then to Boston, publishing an account of his trial (Prison Life Thoughts) and polemics against doctors, self-abuse, and free love. He died in Boston in 1902.


...The Social War is about the conflict between the American society and the Naturalists, a military secret society led by Victor Juno. Juno is a physician who believes in using animal magnetism rather than medicine to solve sickness. But Juno is also a minister obsessed with society's sinfulness, and he lectures about this sin at length.

Juno is opposed by organized religion, the medical establishment, and most of all the Conspirators, who are led by three people:

Rob Stew, "what the New Testament would call a Judas Iscariot, a viper, scribe, hypocrite and pharisee. A man who can dissemble and adapt himself to any kind of villainy, who goes about praying and exhorting, claiming to be a chosen vessel of the Lord!"

Joe Pier, who "has many refined, tender and noble feelings, but being one of those milk-and-water creatures who has no mind of his own, nor enough talent to succeed in life without some one to keep him stiff in the back bone, he is just the miserable, though useful instrument in the hands of a Judas-like Deacon Rob Stew-to aid in proselyting [sic] millions to the faith of blue-stocking orthodoxy."

Nancy Clover, "a finely formed female, of profound talent and wheedling capacity. She has the faculty of LOVE OF POWER immensely developed, in addition to a mountain of Self-conceit, which makes her bold and dauntless. Moreover, she possess almost a talismanic power to make every one fall in love with her, whether man or woman, and she always plays upon the lute-strings of affection of those whom she wishes to control, before she attempts to use her LOVE OF POWER over them."

The Conspirators and their followers have power in Philadelphia, but Victor and the aforementioned Lucinda Armington and her father do not bow to them, and the Conspirators kidnap and torment Victor and Lucinda, with Stew repeatedly attempting to rape Lucinda.

Eventually Victor summons the forces of the Naturalists, who seize weapons and capture the Conspirators. A civil war breaks out, and after the usual plot twists, including the Victor's near-death-by-firing-squad, the Naturalists win. Juno has Stew castrated and the other prisoners of war shot. ictor then declares that the United States will be a theocracy-because "God is a dictator." Victor's ten point rule:


" All money must be deposited into the Treasury

The "owners of filthy luchre" and those who have "sinned by indulging in unhealthy habits, such as rum, tobacco, medicine, profanity, licentiousness, and so forth" must "give up your sinning or die!"

"Idleness shall be a felony" and "obedience and submission to fixed law or death is the edict."

Each man, woman, and child must work at least two to three hours every day.

The Naturalists' soldiers were healed without medicines, therefore…medicines, fashions and all artificial and useless things must be abolished instantly!

Self and selfishness for mere isolated gratification shall be treated as a virulent disease, and such invalids must instantly be placed into the institutions of instruction until healed, or remain there for life."

Immigrants must abide by the new ways and are "positively forbidden to introduce, or themselves use, on our soil any agencies…that are prohibited by this proclamation and the new constitution.

No one shall be permitted, under the penalty of death, to destroy or remove valuables from the United States.

Those who do not understand how to act will be esteemed good citizens by instantly applying for information to any of the Secret Order of Naturalists.

Provisions, clothing, tenements, and all necessary things shall from this day be supplied to each as they need, and no one shall usurp more than his or her necessities demand, under the penalty of being imprisoned in the institutions of instruction."


Juno also forbids the free press, and decrees that all who wish to be married must be virgins ("in a natural state." Those who have previously libeled or slandered Juno are branded on the forehead. The parents of weak and sickly children are to be imprisoned. Stew, Pier, and Clover are sentenced to "be branded with our disgracing motto on their foreheads, cheeks, arms, legs, feet, trunk and each one have the letters B and C cut through their ears; after this is done, they shall all four be imprisoned for life in one room, unless I pardon them, where they shall work four hours a day, and be kept as a free show to all the world."

Then two years of famine and pestilence are sent to the United States by God, "to aid the cause of reform, by destroying those who led dissipated lives." The Naturalists are spared, but no one else is, so that "the path for the Naturalists was cleared of all its deteriorating rubbish, and the work of God and man went exultingly along."

BravestOfTheLamps
Oct 12, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Lipstick Apathy
Many books are unjustly forgotten, none are unjustly remembered - but it's still interesting to see those that were justly forgotten.

Here's a 19th Century writer complaining about the trash women's lit of the day.

BravestOfTheLamps has a new favorite as of 00:31 on Sep 24, 2016

Dapper_Swindler
Feb 14, 2012

Im glad my instant dislike in you has been validated again and again.

Arcsquad12 posted:

Karen Traviss had been fired by this time. Karen Miller replaced her for the round robin authorship of the Fate of the Jedi series. Miller's books were merely mediocre, while Troy Denning (the author of the aforementioned child molestation Invincible) wrote some downright offensive poo poo, while Aaron Allston wrote some average stuff, and then died making fans of the X-Wing series sad.

Traviss is poison for what ever thing she touches. she hosed up star wars/clones/mandos and then she wrote gears of war novels which are meh and her mandos became the COG soldiers(i think she helped write 3) and then she moved to halo and ruined that.


Wheat Loaf posted:

Christie Golden replaced Traviss for Fate of the Jedi.

how good/bad is golden? i am tempted to pick up the Assassins creed novel when it drops(i like the lore).

Dapper_Swindler has a new favorite as of 00:41 on Sep 24, 2016

spite house
Apr 28, 2009

Can we talk about A Little Life for a second?

Because that poo poo barks at the moon. I only read it because it looked like the least awful thing at an airport bookstore, and the reviews were good, ish. "Frank." "Affecting." Etc etc etc.

God it's poo poo. I want to know what the Man Booker people were on, man. There is a grand total of one interesting character in the whole thing (JB, who just up and vanishes about halfway through), the writing is crude and awkward and ugly, and the author takes a frankly lascivious interest in torturing her protagonist literally to death. The kind of book that says terrible things about the people who enjoyed it. Made me want to take the longest shower in the world. Ew.

BravestOfTheLamps
Oct 12, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Lipstick Apathy
I read the plot summary and what the fuuuuuck

spite house
Apr 28, 2009

SERIOUSLY.

I haven't read a book that made me actively angry with its badness in a real long time. And this is what passes for Acclaimed Literature these days. We're all doomed.

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



These are amazing

Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.


:smith:

Grimey Drawer
Book design via GIS

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



Maxwell Lord posted:

Book design via GIS

yea probably first GIS hit on "brothers" "crime" etc

i use the same method when illustrating my books

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL
Feb 21, 2006

Holy Moly! DARKSEID IS!

spite house posted:

SERIOUSLY.

I haven't read a book that made me actively angry with its badness in a real long time. And this is what passes for Acclaimed Literature these days. We're all doomed.

Someone reamed me the other day for "policing the grief of others" (after I shared the idea that perhaps it's inappropriate to talk over the direct, lived experiences of people to use one's own empathy as a form of attention) and they just adore this book. Hmm.

Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat

Snapchat A Titty posted:

These are amazing
I immediately opened Amazon's preview to see the illustrations... and couldn't find even one. Shameful.

Edit: I just realized what those covers remind me of.

Sham bam bamina! has a new favorite as of 06:13 on Sep 24, 2016

Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat

spite house posted:

Can we talk about A Little Life for a second?

Because that poo poo barks at the moon. I only read it because it looked like the least awful thing at an airport bookstore, and the reviews were good, ish. "Frank." "Affecting." Etc etc etc.

God it's poo poo. I want to know what the Man Booker people were on, man. There is a grand total of one interesting character in the whole thing (JB, who just up and vanishes about halfway through), the writing is crude and awkward and ugly, and the author takes a frankly lascivious interest in torturing her protagonist literally to death. The kind of book that says terrible things about the people who enjoyed it. Made me want to take the longest shower in the world. Ew.
I just now ran into this article completely by chance. If you didn't write it, you should read it.

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



im gonna check it out, but

"The group’s rich kid"

like thats a role thats supposed to be in all stories...?

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011


I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Just what gay literature needed: a novel of ruthless miserabilism about an infinitely gentle, infinitely suffering thing person, complete with extensive sexual coercion and completely over-the-top sad backstories. I'm especially fond of the Catholic priest who teaches the protagonist to start cutting himself, because c'mon. If you have to go with the "abusive priest" angle, could you at least have him suggest a slightly more interesting form of self-harm? They're the world experts in mortification of the flesh, after all.

Fashionable Jorts
Jan 18, 2010

Maybe if I'm busy it could keep me from you



Dapper_Swindler posted:

and then she moved to halo and ruined that.

That series was capable of being ruined?

I only read the first three (at the time, the only ones that existed), and they were so terrible I had to stop playing Halo with my friends for a little while.

I Killed GBS
Jun 2, 2011

by Lowtax

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:

Someone reamed me the other day for "policing the grief of others" (after I shared the idea that perhaps it's inappropriate to talk over the direct, lived experiences of people to use one's own empathy as a form of attention) and they just adore this book. Hmm.

Sounds like you were engaging in some toxic masculinity.

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



I Killed GBS posted:

Sounds like you were engaging in some toxic masculinity.

sounds like youre a poopty poop

I Killed GBS
Jun 2, 2011

by Lowtax

Snapchat A Titty posted:

sounds like youre a poopty poop

Make no mistake, A Little Life is a very bad book

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



I Killed GBS posted:

Make no mistake, A Little Life is a very bad book

Bookmarkin ok

get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007

Nckdictator posted:

I know terrible 19th century novels are probably cheating but An Entirely New Feature of a Thrilling Novel! Entitled the Social War of the Year 1900, or Conspirators and Lovers. A Lesson for Saints and Sinners. certainly sounds like something.

http://io9.gizmodo.com/5890703/the-worst-science-fiction-novel-of-the-19th-century
after reading that, part of me wants to believe that Landis was just the Lenny Bruce of his time

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010
I like novels about upper middle-class white people whose lives are disrupted by melodrama. Now that's literature.

brb it's been 15mins i gotta go jerk off Mr Franzen

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

I like novels about upper middle-class white people whose lives are disrupted by melodrama. Now that's literature.

brb it's been 15mins i gotta go jerk off Mr Franzen

lmbo i was gonna recommend franzen

welp, have you tried dave eggers?

spite house
Apr 28, 2009

p sure this piece got namechecked in this thread before

oh well I sure do like critical hatchet jobs that land on fellas named Jonathan

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



• sex scene containing one bizarre detail that makes you worry a little bit about the author, not in a judgy way, just in a does-he-actually-think-this-is-how-that-works?-how-has-he-been-married-for-six-years? way


usually my sex scenes have a lot of public transportation pauses, and cold seasons
:same:

Unkempt
May 24, 2003

...perfect spiral, scientists are still figuring it out...

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Found an intriguingly old-looking book on a used bookstore's sci-fi shelf the other day and was mildly curious. Decided to look it up.



:(

Oh, hey, look what I have.



I honestly didn't think it was that bad; fairly forgettable, but no worse than a whole lot of 50s SF. I mean, he's a 'Master of Science fiction', it says so right there on the cover.

Stupid_Sexy_Flander
Mar 14, 2007

Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?
Grimey Drawer

Arcsquad12 posted:

Whoops, you're right. My mistake.


Nope, it's definitely in Invincible. During a botched operation on Coruscant, Ben gets captured by Tahiri, who was working for Jacen in exchange for Jacen letting her have time travel sex with Anakin Solo. So Tahiri straps Ben into a Vong torture chair (the second time in the Legacy of the Force this has happened to Ben, mind you), puts on an unzipped catsuit, and proceeds to start jerking Ben off. A thirty year old woman time travel loving Ben's cousin decides to give a fourteen year old a handjob. And then she proceeds to torture Ben's best friend to death in front of him.

Invincible is a bad book. Like, extremely bad in an anger inducing way. I know planet of Twilight and Darksaber are usually the go-to for bad Star Wars books, but those ones are amusingly bad. Invincible, and most things written by Troy Denning, are just hateful and extremely violent for no good reason. And a lot of them feature weird sex too, like the Dark Nest bug orgies.

As bad as it is (and it is bad), there's no actual handjobbin' going on. She's putting bacta save on him, proceeds to be all femme fatale and attempts to seduce him (the furthest she got was rubbing his hip with the salve), then he decides she's a sith no NO WAY JOSE and after that she blows out his friend's aorta by sith lightning him in the chest. It was kinda comical because she didn't mean to kill him, just blind him and torture him, and when he dies she has a moment of "Oh, drat..." like it's a character motivation moment of "OH NO I HAVE GONE TOO FAR AND KILLED THIS PERSON I WAS ELECTROCUTING".

It's a poo poo book, but at least Lucasfilm (back then anyway) put a "no explicit sex" rule in the genre. it's why it was hilarious watching people scream about how Chuck Wendig was RUINING Star Wars with gay people, like there was going to be some massive gay sex chapter where there's some reason for a gay space force orgy or something, when he was just adding to the poo poo series of books by being a bad writer.

Dapper_Swindler
Feb 14, 2012

Im glad my instant dislike in you has been validated again and again.

Snapchat A Titty posted:

These are amazing

the poe one isnt that far off its poes brain




Fashionable Jorts posted:

That series was capable of being ruined?

I only read the first three (at the time, the only ones that existed), and they were so terrible I had to stop playing Halo with my friends for a little while.

this is true. but you would be surprised.

WrenP-Complete
Jul 27, 2012

Before bed last night I tried to read the article where Wickerman shows up in the comments, but I'm having trouble keeping track of the major players. It could have been fatigue, but if someone wants to type a quick summary of who is who, I'd be super grateful.

Arc Hammer
Mar 4, 2013

Got any deathsticks?

Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

As bad as it is (and it is bad), there's no actual handjobbin' going on. She's putting bacta save on him, proceeds to be all femme fatale and attempts to seduce him (the furthest she got was rubbing his hip with the salve), then he decides she's a sith no NO WAY JOSE and after that she blows out his friend's aorta by sith lightning him in the chest. It was kinda comical because she didn't mean to kill him, just blind him and torture him, and when he dies she has a moment of "Oh, drat..." like it's a character motivation moment of "OH NO I HAVE GONE TOO FAR AND KILLED THIS PERSON I WAS ELECTROCUTING".

It's a poo poo book, but at least Lucasfilm (back then anyway) put a "no explicit sex" rule in the genre. it's why it was hilarious watching people scream about how Chuck Wendig was RUINING Star Wars with gay people, like there was going to be some massive gay sex chapter where there's some reason for a gay space force orgy or something, when he was just adding to the poo poo series of books by being a bad writer.

I distinctly remember her sliding her hand under his shorts. And I am baffled that the fate of the jedi series spent half it's runtime backtracking on how despicable tahiri was in lotf, while at the same time having one of denning's pet characters viciously murder the jedi grand master and have everyone congratulate her for it.
gently caress denning, gently caress Traviss for everything after True Colours, and gently caress the eu for becoming such garbage by the end of its run.

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Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat
"becoming"

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