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BaDandy posted:I could hear them opening the loving can of Coke that I ordered all the way from where I was sitting! Bar and Grill, my rear end! dogg if you are a grown rear end adult who can't eat a meal without hypersweet carbonated corn syrup, and who is Discerning about the method of conveyance by which the establishment you patronize delivers you said syrup, then it is you who is the AFP like unless it said "we have a soda fountain!" on a marquee out front then this is hilariously unfounded as a criticism
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Sep 28, 2016 06:09
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poop dood posted:dogg if you are a grown rear end adult who can't eat a meal without hypersweet carbonated corn syrup, and who is Discerning about the method of conveyance by which the establishment you patronize delivers you said syrup, then it is you who is the AFP How dare they open a cold can when they could be using an inconsistent mixing machine to blend months-old heavy brown industrial glop from a sack with only the cheapest carbonated water, also (inexplicably) from a sack How very dare they
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Sep 28, 2016 06:41
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Panfilo posted:Chemical burger Ceciltron posted:The 1960s were a very confused time for cuisine.     
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Sep 28, 2016 08:58
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What is all that.
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Sep 28, 2016 09:02
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Rocks. It's all rocks.
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Sep 28, 2016 09:02
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You'd think after all that effect to make rocks look like food you could take better photos of it
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Sep 28, 2016 09:06
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Somfin posted:How dare they open a cold can when they could be using an inconsistent mixing machine to blend months-old heavy brown industrial glop from a sack with only the cheapest carbonated water, also (inexplicably) from a sack Not having a soda fountain is a HUGE red flag when it comes to eating anywhere. They are basically free to acquire because soda companies want you to buy syrup from them and sign exclusivity deals and it's generally accepted that most casual dining places will have one. If you're running any kind of place that serves food and you don't have a soda machine it usually means one of two things: -You lacked the credit or very small amount of money to get one: again, huge red flag for a casual dining place because those kinds of places rarely manage to do more than break even for sometimes several years and if you can't afford a soda machine starting off you're probably hosed, and if you don't have the credit to get one floated to you you definitely don't have the credit to take a loan to keep your place afloat. -You don't have a floor drain: this is also a red flag because anyone who isn't dumb as gently caress and is opening a casual dining restaurant will get a floor drain installed, in many places this also means you can't get taps put in so goodbye any chance of making money on beer. It also ties into the above, where if you lack the money to get a drain put in, the knowledge to know you need one or the credit to get a loan to get one installed, you probably should have done a lot more research before deciding you could run a business.
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Sep 28, 2016 09:35
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Somfin posted:How dare they open a cold can when they could be using an inconsistent mixing machine to blend months-old heavy brown industrial glop from a sack with only the cheapest carbonated water, also (inexplicably) from a sack I only drink the finest colas prepared from Martian water, carbonated with CO2 made from incinerated diamonds, and syrup made according to recipes from the secret vaults of the Vatican.
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Sep 28, 2016 10:05
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I saw these "corn snacks" in the supermarket the other day: They look like packing peanuts and they're made of 100% corn.   And they taste like packing peanuts too! I've never seen them before and I don't expect to see them again, because I can't imagine anyone buying them twice. I have no idea who they're supposed to appeal to. They don't taste of anything much, and they get all stuck in your teeth. And today I had a halal snack pack, which was actually really good, but looks pretty terrible.  That's chips, grated cheese, lamb, and garlic sauce.
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Sep 28, 2016 10:57
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I think at that point they are packing peanuts.
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Sep 28, 2016 11:01
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Tiggum posted:I saw these "corn snacks" in the supermarket the other day: Never buy homebrand puffed corn snacks; stick to twisties or cheezels.
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Sep 28, 2016 11:24
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Tiggum posted:
ohgod would.
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Sep 28, 2016 12:21
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Luigi's Discount Porn Bin posted:Meet Mett. Mett is raw pork with raw onion. From some back, but isn't that an eggless version of steak tartare? Confirming that it's pretty delicious though. Also salmon and chicken tartare are pretty nice as well
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Sep 28, 2016 12:41
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 step six: serve hot
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Sep 28, 2016 12:46
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Pastry of the Year posted:
 Step seven: embrace death
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Sep 28, 2016 13:03
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DumbparameciuM posted:
How To Accept Death While Still Liking A Boy
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Sep 28, 2016 13:16
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El Estrago Bonito posted:Not having a soda fountain is a HUGE red flag when it comes to eating anywhere. They are basically free to acquire because soda companies want you to buy syrup from them and sign exclusivity deals and it's generally accepted that most casual dining places will have one. If you're running any kind of place that serves food and you don't have a soda machine it usually means one of two things: I dunno, I've been to some Mexican restaurants that were pretty bustling and yet served soft drinks in cans (unless you were getting Tamarindo or Horchata, which are typically ladied out of a plastic barrel looking container.) Ditto for some Chinese food restaurants.
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Sep 28, 2016 13:32
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poop dood posted:dogg if you are a grown rear end adult who can't eat a meal without hypersweet carbonated corn syrup, and who is Discerning about the method of conveyance by which the establishment you patronize delivers you said syrup, then it is you who is the AFP This is a lot of angry words over 'drat, I wish I had got some pictures of this place when I was there. It was super weird in a 'things that you generally expect restaurants to have weren't there' kind of way.'
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Sep 28, 2016 13:31
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Tiggum posted:I saw these "corn snacks" in the supermarket the other day: Are those the sort that deflates in your mouth? We used to have competitions who could shove most handfuls of those into their mouth at once.
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Sep 28, 2016 13:53
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ACES CURE PLANES posted:
This made me physically recoil. I can't imagine what sewing through an egg would do to your machine.
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Sep 28, 2016 13:57
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Sakurazuka posted:You'd think after all that effect to make rocks look like food you could take better photos of it It looks gneiss to me.
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Sep 28, 2016 13:59
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HelloIAmYourHeart posted:This made me physically recoil. I can't imagine what sewing through an egg would do to your machine. I'm still trying to parse why anyone would do this other than stupid photo purposes.
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Sep 28, 2016 14:13
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El Estrago Bonito posted:Not having a soda fountain is a HUGE red flag when it comes to eating anywhere. They are basically free to acquire because soda companies want you to buy syrup from them and sign exclusivity deals and it's generally accepted that most casual dining places will have one. If you're running any kind of place that serves food and you don't have a soda machine it usually means one of two things: Yeah, that's exactly the point I was trying to make. They couldn't very well call themselves a "bar and grill" because first off, if they didn't have a soda fountain, they're not going to have taps and second, they didn't even offer any alcohol anyway. This wasn't even an actual criticism (and if you honestly think that was the only one I had, lol) it was just kind of a red flag. Those bits about not having enough credit/general knowledge for what goes into a restaurant actually makes the most sense. I'll write up more after breakfast but the basic gist of my meal was "high school cafeteria". 
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Sep 28, 2016 14:19
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SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:I'm still trying to parse why anyone would do this other than stupid photo purposes. Tags: sewing, egg, fried
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Sep 28, 2016 14:27
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Hirayuki posted:To fill a stock-photo niche. *glances at photo* No, not quite what I had in mind. Aren't there any others?
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Sep 28, 2016 14:32
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 Not sewn, but Thai'd.
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Sep 28, 2016 14:37
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Tiggum posted:I saw these "corn snacks" in the supermarket the other day: BaDandy posted:Yeah, that's exactly the point I was trying to make. They couldn't very well call themselves a "bar and grill" because first off, if they didn't have a soda fountain, they're not going to have taps and second, they didn't even offer any alcohol anyway. This wasn't even an actual criticism (and if you honestly think that was the only one I had, lol) it was just kind of a red flag. zedprime has a new favorite as of 14:41 on Sep 28, 2016 |
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Sep 28, 2016 14:38
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My Lovely Horse posted:I think at that point they are packing peanuts. I worked at a pet supply place and a lot of our suppliers sent products in edible packing peanuts. Which was very nice of them, as our resident pets often got into the box and started eating the packing peanuts. 
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Sep 28, 2016 14:44
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Hirayuki posted:
Sometimes, when you slaughter a hen, you find that they still have some eggs in the ductwork that haven't gone through the whole "acquire albumen and shell" process yet. It's basically just a blob of yolk making it's happy way towards egghood, rudely interrupted. That's what the yellow things are - yolks from the oviducts that they cooked up.
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Sep 28, 2016 14:49
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canis minor posted:From some back, but isn't that an eggless version of steak tartare?
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Sep 28, 2016 16:26
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steinrokkan posted:Are those the sort that deflates in your mouth?
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Sep 28, 2016 17:10
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zedprime posted:Bar and grill checks out, in my experience anyone calling themselves a bar and grill 100% guaranteed get frozen meals from some institutional supplier like Sysco or the like. That's totally fine, but at least offer me alcohol. Or have a "bar" where you can sit at. So I should probably explain more fully what was "off" about everything and keep in mind that the people running it seemed nice enough and when it said it was "new" they probably really meant it. I wasn't expecting a whole lot going in either, since we were in the middle of nowhere in a small Kansas town close to the Oklahoma border. I'm not a really picky person either and if I don't like something, there's a pretty specific reason for it. Like, I don't like Italian sausage because of the anise/fennel in it, or instant mashed potatoes because of the texture, or something like that. Otherwise, I'm pretty easy to please. I kinda like Hawaiian pizza. I probably wouldn't have minded the food there if I had the appetizers, or a burger (they were half-pounders and we both thought that was too big), or a chicken tenders basket or something. You get the idea. So after walking down Main Street for a bit, we find the place, head inside, and enter...a gift shop area. Like kitschy, Americana-type stuff that you'd find somewhere like the Cracker Barrel, but a lot less variety to it, which I didn't mind at all, but this was the first red flag for several reasons. 1) I say "area", but unlike CB where you go in and the gift shop is first but in a separate area or room, and then you go to the host and go to your actual tables or booths, it was all one open area. I was actually afraid that I was in the wrong place until I saw tables. I didn't see anything about this place having a gift shop. 2) That bit about them probably not having enough credit or funds for basic restaurant things makes the extra gift shop make way more sense to me. If you can't break even with your food, why not sell other things? Then again, I can't stress enough how small of a town this is, so that's probably a big enough factor on its own, but it still threw me off. 3) It just felt like a last minute addition, probably to, once again, stop losing money or to at least break even. Okay, so we go in, there's no one at the front to greet us (it's less of a "big" space and more "open" if that makes sense) but one lady does come out from the back and seats us and gives us menus. No booths, it's nothing but tables, and I want to stress that all of this so far is less of a complaint and more the fact that it was a weird place. The entire experience wasn't "bad" so much as having the feeling that aliens thought, "I can make an Earth restaurant" and then tried it. So we're sitting there and my mind immediately wanders to those bits in shows like Kitchen Nightmares or something, where they talk about the aesthetics of a place and how to get it just so and it really did strike me that people usually write off the aesthetics of a place, or just don't think about them that often, but boy do you notice it when it's absent. It wasn't as if there were a bunch of things that didn't match, it was just...bland? Green carpet, yellow-ish walls that didn't have a lot on them. The only things I really noticed were red metal letters that said "Rattlers" high off in one corner. There was this wooden, half-moon...I guess it was where the "bar" was supposed to be, but there wasn't anything behind there (like taps, or refrigerators, or anything) and you couldn't sit there. I really should have taken pictures of the place because the best way to describe it is that "Cursed Image" meme. Also, it was dead loving silent, which is why I could hear them opening my Coke can in the first place. No ambient music, no TV with any sports playing, even though coming in it didn't look like a "Bar and Grill" kind of place. Anyway, we order our food, and my dad decides to go the safe route and have a hamburger steak which, I'm not sure why, if half-pound hamburgers were "too big" but whatever. I probably should have gone for that too, or ordered fries instead of mashed potatoes, or something, but I went with the Santa Fe chicken, which I probably shouldn't have because it had Swiss cheese on it and why would something called "Santa Fe" chicken even have that, but. Whatever! I was hungry and we were balls deep in Kansas. Here's roughly how it went.  : I'll have this, but with the vegetables instead of the salad. : Do you want cottage cheese instead of the salad? : ....Uh. Yes?That was one of the better decisions that I made because here's what happened next. Dad goes to the bathroom, I'm just sitting there, our "salads" are brought first and this is what my dad got for his salad that wasn't the dressing (Dorothy Lynch, if anyone cares). 1) Iceberg lettuce. 2) Cheese ...That's it. I wasn't being cute with that joke about "what is a salad?" I literally mean that he got lettuce and shredded cheddar cheese on a small plate and that's it. Not tomatoes, cucumbers, shredded carrot...loving ham or croutons or bacon bits or...sunflowers seeds or whatever. Just that, the dressing, and crackers. I was actually thankful that I opted for cottage cheese but I am kicking myself for not thinking to take a picture because it would be perfect for this thread. I was stunned. My dad came back, looked at the table and muttered, "Umm....what? Really?" Then our actual dinners came, which weren't as bad, but were still very very "#wifemateriallol". Like, when it said "vegetables", I was picturing the whole broccoli/baby carrots/sliced squash thing that places have a lot, but it was loose canned corn in a bowl. The potatoes were instant and, yeah, I know a lot of places go for the instant stuff, but with that being scooped on along with everything else, it felt less like a dinner from a restaurant and more like school cafeteria food. The "Santa Fe" chicken just had roasted peppers on it and Swiss cheese, but that wasn't bad so much as it was just odd. Again, I probably should have gone the safe route and had chicken strips or appetizers or something (apparently people like their fried pickles) but the salad was really the peak of AFP and I'm sad I didn't get to capture it, or the inside of the place, just because it's hard to describe. BaDandy has a new favorite as of 17:34 on Sep 28, 2016 |
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Sep 28, 2016 17:29
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sweeperbravo posted:My nana made the most delicious, simple, best scrambled eggs. My mom made okay ones. They used the same ingredients, I'm pretty sure in the same quantities. Not sure why Nana's were so special. I think it is because Nana made them and everything tasted better in her kitchen, which was yellow and looked exactly like it did when they bought the house in 1949 or whatever except there was also a microwave My mother makes the worst scrambled eggs in the world. They are always burned and taste like farts. She insists on putting cheese in them as if it is a requirement. She gets mad at me if I make eggs without cheese. She also refuses to use salt and pepper. On another note, she insists on putting an inappropriate amount of zucchini in any red sauce she makes. She also puts in ridiculous amounts of yellow squash. No one likes this, but she still does it. She also puts in absurd amounts of cinnamon but almost no other spices.
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Sep 28, 2016 18:15
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 #wifematerial indeed  A lot of these photos are normal home-cook sort of foods, but what the actual gently caress is this one??
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Sep 28, 2016 18:16
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Bugs
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Sep 28, 2016 18:44
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BaDandy posted:craziness Wow. A bland, surreal half-nightmare that could only be brought to you by the very heart of our great country. That was a weirdly enthralling read, and I apologize for calling you a goonlord over what was clearly the mere tip of the AFP iceberg.
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Sep 28, 2016 18:47
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Iceberg and cheese is the official salad of flyover country.
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Sep 28, 2016 19:03
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BaDandy posted:So I should probably explain more fully what was "off"... The type of place you found actually happens pretty frequently in the Midwest. Someone's watching one of those reality TV shows where some nobody starts a restaurant, goes "honey let's take out a second mortgage and make this happen," then fails miserably. Maybe you get halfway done before running out of money because (surprise), opening a restaurant is expensive (not sure about Kansas but in some states you need to hire an attorney and an accountant just to get a business of the ground and that poo poo ain't cheap), and the newspaper's already run the story about your grand opening, and you know you'll make enough money to buy your taps and get your liquor license and then you'll have enough money for booths because business will explode and then... Instead, in fewer than six months' time, you end up quietly closing your doors and selling the assets off to the next idiot who thinks they're gonna be just like those people on TV. Their hearts are in the right place, but unfortunately their heads are up their asses.
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Sep 28, 2016 19:06
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chopped from a few weeks back featured a pair of twins from michigan that run like a custom charcuterie/tap room place in Imlay City, Michigan, a town with 3500 residents. who is paying $35 bucks for entrees often enough to support that?
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Sep 28, 2016 19:08
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poop dood posted:Wow. A bland, surreal half-nightmare that could only be brought to you by the very heart of our great country. It's fine, I probably should have been more upfront about the entire thing, but I was falling asleep at the keyboard, so it had to wait. On a better note, we did go to an actual CB in Topeka and I got an actual side salad with my meatloaf, which then lead me to joke around with my dad about it ("Father....my god...what's THIS???") It's actually pretty interesting to go there and see how things are laid out, and I wanted to go to one anyway because Rattlers did make me think that it was trying to cop off of CB, but badly. Also, this lady in a wheelchair wanted to come in but couldn't, because she couldn't open the door on her own, and there was a bump that she couldn't get over. Apparently she's a "regular" and they have this deal where she comes to the door, they take her order there, and then they give her stuff to go, which..??? Okay? Like if she's fine with that, okay, but. Get a handicapped button for the door, or find a way to get rid of that little bump and make it a slope, or something, my God. GOTTA STAY FAI posted:The type of place you found actually happens pretty frequently in the Midwest. Someone's watching one of those reality TV shows where some nobody starts a restaurant, goes "honey let's take out a second mortgage and make this happen," then fails miserably. Maybe you get halfway done before running out of money because (surprise), opening a restaurant is expensive (not sure about Kansas but in some states you need to hire an attorney and an accountant just to get a business of the ground and that poo poo ain't cheap), and the newspaper's already run the story about your grand opening, and you know you'll make enough money to buy your taps and get your liquor license and then you'll have enough money for booths because business will explode and then... I get that, and it's easy to see why that would happen, but keep in mind that I've lived in Nebraska all my life and this is the first time I've run into a place that was on that level. You're right that it's a very "Midwest" thing to run into, though. It's just the first time I've actually run into it, weirdly. BaDandy has a new favorite as of 19:16 on Sep 28, 2016 |
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Sep 28, 2016 19:10
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