Crappy Construction: The Four POs of the Housepocalypse

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Hobbies, Crafts, & Houses > Crappy Construction: The Four POs of the Housepocalypse

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FCKGW: May 21, 2006

My coworker was telling me a story about how his mother recently hired a contractor to replace some drywall, patch and repaint a room. He got the drywall and patch done on the first day but then it took him 4 more days to paint the room.

Turns out he was hired on hourly and she eventually kicked him off the job :v:

# ? Sep 30, 2016 16:40

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# ? May 30, 2024 19:31

Suspect Bucket: Jan 15, 2012; SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
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Baronjutter posted:

If any of the things she rants about seems "not so bad" to a reader that's a red flag that the reader has poo poo taste or doesn't understand some pretty basic architectural or interior design concepts.

:Raises hand: but I'm TRYING TO LEARN TO BE BETTER.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 17:47

Slugworth: Feb 18, 2001; If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran!

Baronjutter posted:

Nah it's still good, it's just actually written with an actual understanding of architecture and design that requires at least a little bit of knowledge and actual taste to get. If any of the things she rants about seems "not so bad" to a reader that's a red flag that the reader has poo poo taste or doesn't understand some pretty basic architectural or interior design concepts.

For real then, enlighten me as to why it's some grand mockery of all that's good and tasteful that the most recent kitchen posted has dark cabinets and opted for a counter top surface other than granite. I mean, I like granite and all, but it's the only acceptable surface for an expensive home?

It's a person who got some attention because she posted some insightful stuff, and now has to pump out some minimum amount of posts for her book deal.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 17:49

there wolf: Jan 11, 2015; by Fluffdaddy

Slugworth posted:

For real then, enlighten me as to why it's some grand mockery of all that's good and tasteful that the most recent kitchen posted has dark cabinets and opted for a counter top surface other than granite. I mean, I like granite and all, but it's the only acceptable surface for an expensive home?

It's a person who got some attention because she posted some insightful stuff, and now has to pump out some minimum amount of posts for her book deal.

Enlighten me as to why you think the 'make catty comments about a lovely house' posts are some new laziness instead of what the blog exclusively was at the beginning? The architectural stuff came later when she kept having people ask her to explain what was really wrong with the houses. Now she does two kinds of posts covering each subject independently.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 18:29

Slugworth: Feb 18, 2001; If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran!

there wolf posted:

Enlighten me as to why you think the 'make catty comments about a lovely house' posts are some new laziness instead of what the blog exclusively was at the beginning? The architectural stuff came later when she kept having people ask her to explain what was really wrong with the houses. Now she does two kinds of posts covering each subject independently.

Oh, I'll wholeheartedly cop to not having known that. I legitimately thought the architectural stuff was some of the early stuff, as it was my first exposure to it. Now anytime someone links to it, it seems to be catty nonsense. I'll respectfully chalk this up to me not closely following the blog and just responding to what people here and other places link to.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 18:33

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

While fully respecting her right to criticize, I'd love to see her house. It's awesome I'm sure.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 18:37

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

The houses she posts are all tacky garbage that deserves to be cattily sneered at, and if you're upset about it you are probably the problem

# ? Sep 30, 2016 18:37

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

There's also the fact that these aren't just normal people's houses, these are houses that some rich (or massively in debt) people sunk millions into purely to show off their wealth and signal to the world that they've made it and look at my huge house. So the whole thing is held to a much higher standard. Everyone I know lives in some cheap lovely apartment, some are better than others but most have pretty dated kitchens with nothing fancy. That's fine because they're not trying to be fancy or rich. But if a brand new condo was going up marketing itself as super high end luxury, it would look ridiculous to have the cheapest countertop you can buy next to the $5,000 gas range and tacky dated wood trim.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 18:48

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

Don't half-rear end being a money-haver.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 18:49

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

Wasabi the J posted:

It's a very 80's taste?

I... what? What kind of goon doesn't have house plants? I mean sure all my plants are dead right now but they're there.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 18:50

Safety Dance: Sep 10, 2007; Five degrees to starboard!

Burt Sexual posted:

While fully respecting her right to criticize, I'd love to see her house. It's awesome I'm sure.

Just google image search "student dorm"

# ? Sep 30, 2016 18:51

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Baronjutter posted:

There's also the fact that these aren't just normal people's houses, these are houses that some rich (or massively in debt) people sunk millions into purely to show off their wealth and signal to the world that they've made it and look at my huge house. So the whole thing is held to a much higher standard. Everyone I know lives in some cheap lovely apartment, some are better than others but most have pretty dated kitchens with nothing fancy. That's fine because they're not trying to be fancy or rich. But if a brand new condo was going up marketing itself as super high end luxury, it would look ridiculous to have the cheapest countertop you can buy next to the $5,000 gas range and tacky dated wood trim.

Do they not know of interior decorators or architects or what?

# ? Sep 30, 2016 18:55

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Bad Munki posted:

Don't half-rear end being a money-haver.

The nice thing about being rich is not giving a drat about anyone else's opinion.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 18:57

TooMuchAbstraction: Oct 14, 2012; I spent four years making
Waves of Steel
Hell yes I'm going to turn my avatar into an ad for it.; Fun Shoe

Jerry Cotton posted:

I... what? What kind of goon doesn't have house plants? I mean sure all my plants are dead right now but they're there.

Nothing wrong with house plants, but it'd be kind of weird to have house plants in every single room.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 19:07

Gounads: Mar 13, 2013; Where am I?
How did I get here?

Jerry Cotton posted:

I... what? What kind of goon doesn't have house plants? I mean sure all my plants are dead right now but they're there.

Fake plants

# ? Sep 30, 2016 19:07

Slugworth: Feb 18, 2001; If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran!

Baronjutter posted:

But if a brand new condo was going up marketing itself as super high end luxury, it would look ridiculous to have the cheapest countertop you can buy next to the $5,000 gas range and tacky dated wood trim.

But the issue is, while I can't ID the material in that picture, it's almost definitely not laminate. Which means, even though it's not granite, it's a material that is as expensive or even more expensive than granite (we're replacing our countertops soon, and granite is literally the cheapest option we've seen other than laminate). So the situation you've laid out is almost definitely not what's happening there, and more to the point, saying "Just lol if your kitchen doesn't have granite" is the exact kind of nouveau riche silliness that breeds mcmansions.

Regardless, the brunt of my original point was that I enjoy the detailed architectural posts more than the 'what not to wear - interior decoration edition', which due to my own ignorance I suggested were some new aspect of the tumblr. I was wrong, so I apologize. The site as a whole is clearly not my thing, so I'll drop it.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 19:38

FISHMANPET: Mar 3, 2007; Sweet 'N Sour
Can't
Melt
Steel Beams

That kitchen looks like something like Corian, an artificial solid surface countertop material. But it is really weird to complain about not being granite and then also deried the HGTV driven design fads that has led to everyone wanting Granite.

The "make fun of this house" pieces are hit or miss, I'm really in it for the deeper dives she does on defining or explaining features of McMansions.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 19:43

Nitrox: Jul 5, 2002

Corian is cheaper than granite, but for gently caress's sake, don't put it in your kitchen. It's best suited as shower lining and McDonald's service counter. Yes, you can fire bullets through it and then do a seamless repair, but that's a pretty rare thing to consider.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 20:04

there wolf: Jan 11, 2015; by Fluffdaddy

Slugworth posted:

But the issue is, while I can't ID the material in that picture, it's almost definitely not laminate. Which means, even though it's not granite, it's a material that is as expensive or even more expensive than granite (we're replacing our countertops soon, and granite is literally the cheapest option we've seen other than laminate). So the situation you've laid out is almost definitely not what's happening there, and more to the point, saying "Just lol if your kitchen doesn't have granite" is the exact kind of nouveau riche silliness that breeds mcmansions.

I'll admit I assumed it was laminate just because nothing else came to mind. But to kind of reiterate what Baronjutter said, it's less "lol if you don't have granite" than "lol you probably had to cut expenses on the counter tops because you ran out of money on some other ridiculous feature like that bar downstairs."

I went through some of the older house posts, and I think this is actually a weaker one which is why it's getting more defense. The interior is such a time capsule, I guess she couldn't not talk about it, but she showed her hand with those vanities in the bathroom. They are pretty nice and whatever decorator picked them applied the same sense of taste to the rest of the house. It's amazingly dated, but some paint and a good reupholstering could bring a lot of it back into style. The basement is the worst part because it's an obvious afterthought, and even it's not as bad as this poo poo.

I feel like we're missing out on something fun with whatever that fan is coming out of.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 20:05

30 Goddamned Dicks: Sep 8, 2010; I will leave you to flounder in your cesspool of primeval soup, you sad, lonely, little cowards.; Fun Shoe

Ok I think y'all are missing the point, which is THAT HOUSE IS SELLING FOR $3+ MILLION DOLLARS. It has not been updated since it was built, and it was built with incredibly cheap, tacky looking poo poo. It's decorated with cheap tacky looking poo poo. It was terribly designed and the architecture sucks.

Ultimately, it's supposed to be funny, so if you don't think it's funny stop reading it :mad:

# ? Sep 30, 2016 20:10

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

Nitrox posted:

but that's a pretty rare thing to consider.

Look, if I'm going to be able to afford building this house, I'm going to need to make a few allowances on the real estate itself, such as the particulars of the neighborhood. Sacrifices must be made if I'm going to get those six extra columns out front.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 20:12

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

TooMuchAbstraction posted:

Nothing wrong with house plants, but it'd be kind of weird to have house plants in every single room.

No, one rule of thumb (take it or leave it) is that you should have something alive in every room. So if you want you can stick a fish tank in one, but all the other rooms should have one or more plants to add life and movement to the space. You can disagree if you want, but it is a current principle, and not an '80s thing.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 20:13

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

30 Goddamned Dicks posted:

THAT HOUSE IS SELLING FOR $3+ MILLION DOLLARS

That's three million dollhairs of potential! That's a lotta potential.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 20:13

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Anne Whateley posted:

No, one rule of thumb (take it or leave it) is that you should have something alive in every room. So if you want you can stick a fish tank in one, but all the other rooms should have one or more plants to add life and movement to the space. You can disagree if you want, but it is a current principle, and not an '80s thing.

Can this rule be bypassed by having pets that follow people all around the house?

# ? Sep 30, 2016 20:15

Ashcans: Jan 2, 2006; Let's do the space-time warp again!

Bud K ninja sword posted:

Can this rule be bypassed by having pets that follow people all around the house?

You can just bypass it entirely, because every time you are in a room, there is something living in it!

# ? Sep 30, 2016 20:16

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

Ashcans posted:

You can just bypass it entirely, because every time you are in a room, there is something living in it!

Does the real estate photographer count? Remember, there are always three people in a picture: the photographer, the viewer, and the HDR filter.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 20:17

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Burt Sexual posted:

The nice thing about being rich is not giving a drat about anyone else's opinion.

They're building houses with the things rich people have in houses to make themselves look and feel rich. It's the exact opposite of not giving a drat about anyone else's opinion.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 20:18

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Ashcans posted:

You can just bypass it entirely, because every time you are in a room, there is something living in it!

NICE

# ? Sep 30, 2016 20:23

spog: Aug 7, 2004; It's your own bloody fault.

Nitrox posted:

Corian is cheaper than granite, but for gently caress's sake, don't put it in your kitchen. It's best suited as shower lining and McDonald's service counter. Yes, you can fire bullets through it and then do a seamless repair, but that's a pretty rare thing to consider.

Thanks!

I like my steak rare.

Very rare.

So rare that I occasionally have to shoot it again before serving and my countertops look like swiss cheese.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 20:57

there wolf: Jan 11, 2015; by Fluffdaddy

Splicer posted:

They're building houses with the things rich people have in houses to make themselves look and feel rich. It's the exact opposite of not giving a drat about anyone else's opinion.

I think everyone needs to follow this link and vote on whether it's caring a lot about what others think, or living in total indifference to it because I really can't decide.
http://www.harpersbazaararabia.com/interiors/homes/inside-mohamed-hadid-and-shiva-safais-incredible-la-mansion

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:01

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

Anne Whateley posted:

No, one rule of thumb (take it or leave it) is that you should have something alive in every room. So if you want you can stick a fish tank in one, but all the other rooms should have one or more plants to add life and movement to the space. You can disagree if you want, but it is a current principle, and not an '80s thing.

is this a feng shui thing or what

because i've never heard that before in my life

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:18

Arivia: Mar 17, 2011

Splicer posted:

They're building houses with the things rich people have in houses to make themselves look and feel rich. It's the exact opposite of not giving a drat about anyone else's opinion.

Yeah, this is the point of the granite thing. That entire house is about dripping with ostentatious wealth and yet they cheaped out on the kitchen counters. They couldn't even do their lovely death-of-the-soul gimmick right.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:30

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

Did anyone even live in 80s time capsule house? Everything looks to be in perfect condition, including the wallpaper and upholstery.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:11

Nitrox: Jul 5, 2002

there wolf posted:

I think everyone needs to follow this link and vote on whether it's caring a lot about what others think, or living in total indifference to it because I really can't decide.
http://www.harpersbazaararabia.com/interiors/homes/inside-mohamed-hadid-and-shiva-safais-incredible-la-mansion

FYI, this house is what McMansions are trying so hard to look like. It's a very well done house.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:23

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

Rockin Orthodontist posted:

Did anyone even live in 80s time capsule house? Everything looks to be in perfect condition, including the wallpaper and upholstery.

One overweight businessman who only comes home from the office to sleep, his drunk frustrated wife, and their three now-grown children who weren't allowed to touch anything that wasn't in the kids' rooms.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:25

there wolf: Jan 11, 2015; by Fluffdaddy

Nitrox posted:

FYI, this house is what McMansions are trying so hard to look like. It's a very well done house.

It definitely wins in the if you're going to go, go hard category.

Wait I found something even better. Apparently Mohammad Hadid, they guy behind that house, is building another, bigger mansion and breaking all kinds of laws to do it.
http://la.curbed.com/2015/12/15/10620912/mohamed-hadid-criminal-charges-illegal-megamansion-bel-air

That looks like 6 years worth of jail time to me.

# ? Oct 1, 2016 00:01

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

quote:

The city is also bringing criminal charges against the entity that owns the mansion and the property it sits on, 901 Strada LLC.�

So the house is owned by a corporation named after the street address, created with the sole purpose of owning that property and protecting its owners from liability, the owner of the corporation being Mr. Mohammed Hadid.

This is why America is hosed up.

# ? Oct 1, 2016 00:12