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[Howl's Moving Castle, but the castle is the feminist bookstore from Portlandia)
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Oct 2, 2016 00:34
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| # ? May 9, 2024 22:41 |
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The trapped occupants of the feminist bookstore from Portlandia, who once had the hubris to call themselves its 'owners', try desperately to convey a warning to outsiders: to scare them away from the open jaws of the store, to spare others from the torment they must now endure, eternally.
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Oct 2, 2016 00:35
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I will never stop oppressing women, gays, and POC
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Oct 2, 2016 00:40
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[The end of The Mist, but The Mist is feminist bookstore from Portlandia]
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Oct 2, 2016 00:40
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Charles Foster Kane: (whispered, angrily) Feminist bookstore...from Portlandia.
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Oct 2, 2016 00:42
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the idea was, feminist bookstore from Portlandia comes to the nearest man and that man, he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin', and sometimes the feminist bookstore from Portlandia would go away... sometimes it wouldn't go away. Sometimes that feminist bookstore from Portlandia it looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. Y'know the thing about a feminist bookstore from Portlandia it's got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When it comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'... until it bites ya. And those black eyes roll over white, and then... oh, then you hear that terrible high-pitch screamin', the ocean turns red, and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin', the feminist bookstore from Portlandia ... rips you to pieces.
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Oct 2, 2016 00:45
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I've been to Portland. My cousin told me that there was a bookstore with a big "Don't harass women ever" sign. While harassing women is bad, my cousin said the sign was alienating. Other Portland stories: I got a very nice ice cream and donut, I got 2 zones, one was about a moth costume woman fighting surveillance and the other was this awesome stream of consciousness dream log. There are a ton of restaurants in trailers, and even a hair salon. Portlandia is funny, but I wouldn't know if it's Problematic or not. Here's my joke: A: knock knock. B: Who's there? A: the feminist bookstore from portlandia. Your front door opens directly into the feminist bookstore from portlandia. All other edits are bricked off. You can't get out.
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Oct 2, 2016 00:47
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Q: How many feminist bookstores from Portlandia does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It can hear you. Run.
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Oct 2, 2016 00:48
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I am become feminist bookstore, destroyer of Portlandia.
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Oct 2, 2016 00:51
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[in Carrie Brownstein voice]: The feminist bookstore from Portlandia! *four minutes of guitar noise produced by the guy from Sonic Youth*
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Oct 2, 2016 00:53
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Corin Tucker: The feminist boooOOOOOooookstore from Portlandia! Carrie Brownstein (in harmony): It's angry! It's angry!
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Oct 2, 2016 00:54
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*somebody really popular for like six months in 1997, standing in front of small affordable house* "The feminist books store, something something Portland!" *fred armiston makes smug face* *carrie brwonstone* "I'm friends with Fred here!" *90's person licks finger, counts hundred dollar bills unselfconsciously* *theme song*
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Oct 2, 2016 00:58
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Dr. Weir: The feminist bookstore brought me back. I told you she won't let me leave - she won't let anyone leave. Did you really think you could destroy this bookstore? She's defied space and time. She's been to a place you couldn't possibly imagine. And now... it is time to go back. Miller: I know. To Portland. Dr. Weir: You know nothing. Portland is only a word. The reality is much, much worse.
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Oct 2, 2016 01:00
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Along the shore the cloud waves break, The twin suns sink behind the lake, The shadows lengthen In Portland. Strange is the night where black stars rise, And strange moons circle through the skies, But stranger still is Lost Portland. Songs that the Feminists shall sing, Where flap the tatters of the PATRIARCHY, Must die unheard in Dim Portland. Song of my soul, my voice is dead, Die thou, unsung, as tears unshed Shall dry and die in Lost Portland.
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Oct 2, 2016 01:00
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Dreddout posted:Dr. Weir: The feminist bookstore brought me back. I told you she won't let me leave - she won't let anyone leave. Did you really think you could destroy this bookstore? She's defied space and time. She's been to a place you couldn't possibly imagine. And now... it is time to go back.
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Oct 2, 2016 01:00
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Cumslut1895 posted:Along the shore the cloud waves break, 
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Oct 2, 2016 01:12
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1- *hosed up scifi sam neil, in a dress* where we're going we won't need patriarchy... 2- are we going to the feminist bookstore? 1-...yes 2-the one in Portland? 1-...but I don't wanna. 2-too bad.
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Oct 2, 2016 01:19
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The most portland thing was actually that vegan strip club
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Oct 2, 2016 01:28
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etalian posted:The most portland thing was actually that vegan strip club What's the point of going to a strip club if you can't tip them and have them eat your meat?
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Oct 2, 2016 01:32
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mysterious frankie posted:Did you know that if you spell the phrase "feminist bookstore" on the fridge with fridge magnets the fridge will become a for real feminist bookstore? All your food will become feminist books and if you open the door after closing hours tiny feminists will be having a book club meeting in the crisper. I tried this to prove it:  This is after only twenty seconds of having the words feminist bookstore on my fridge. That book was some leftover ghost pepper chicken wings before. Also note the box wine (a woman's drink)
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Oct 2, 2016 01:34
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mysterious frankie posted:I tried this to prove it:
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Oct 2, 2016 01:35
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etalian posted:The most portland thing was actually that vegan strip club Were the strippers all local? No, no Polk county isn't local.
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Oct 2, 2016 01:37
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mysterious frankie posted:I tried this to prove it:
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Oct 2, 2016 01:37
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Ha ha nice try guys, I fell for the snipe hunt but you can't convicted me that the feminist bookstore from Portlandia is real.
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Oct 2, 2016 01:37
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EngineerSean posted:Ha ha nice try guys, I fell for the snipe hunt but you can't convicted me that the feminist bookstore from Portlandia is real. Right? 
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Oct 2, 2016 01:38
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The feminist bookstore from Portlandia is angry at the vegan strip club from Portlandia.
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Oct 2, 2016 01:38
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Point of order, that fridge also has the words "lord", "lord", and "man" on it tho fake-edit: the feminist bookstore (from Portlandia)
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Oct 2, 2016 01:39
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Guys this isn't funny any more, tell me the feminist bookstore from Portlandia is something you guys made up or I'm telling Mom.
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Oct 2, 2016 01:39
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EngineerSean posted:Ha ha nice try guys, I fell for the snipe hunt but you can't convicted me that the feminist bookstore from Portlandia is real. the external shot of the facade was a real feminist bookstore (from Portlandia) but the characters were fake until a couple days ago when they apparently became real
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Oct 2, 2016 01:40
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EngineerSean posted:Guys this isn't funny any more, tell me the feminist bookstore from Portlandia is something you guys made up or I'm telling Mom.
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Oct 2, 2016 01:40
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EngineerSean posted:Guys this isn't funny any more, tell me the feminist bookstore from Portlandia is something you guys made up or I'm telling Mom. Portlandia is a documentary.
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Oct 2, 2016 01:42
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mysterious frankie posted:I tried this to prove it: I was only able to sleep at night because I believed the horror was confined to a bookstore in Portland. Now I know that it is more of an abstract cosmic force of feminine hatred that can occupy any enclosed space, even those outside of traditionally black neighborhoods. I am afraid.
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Oct 2, 2016 01:42
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Josh Becker said that Maggie Bessler's cousin heard that Liam Korman walked into the Feminist Bookstore From Portlandia at night and when he came out his teeth fell out and now he eats all his meals out of a straw.
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Oct 2, 2016 01:43
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Feminists, Queers and Allies of The Feminist Bookstore! You are about to embark upon the Great Crusade, toward which we have striven these many months. The eyes of Portland are upon you. The hopes and prayers of LGBQTIA+ people everywhere, march with you. In company with our brave radical leftists and queer-life friends on other Fronts, you will bring about the destruction of gentrification, the elimination of transmisogyny, and security for queer expression in a safe space. Your task will not be an easy one. The patriarchy has hostile memes, a callous disregard for safe spaces and Donald Trump. He will fight savagely. But this is the year 2016! Much has happened since the Bush triumphs of 2000-2008. The LGBQTIA+ alliance have inflicted upon the cishetero great defeats on social media. Our tweet offensive has seriously reduced their strength on Twitter and their capacity to wage war on Tumblr. Our Feminist Bookstores have given us an overwhelming superiority in the rejection of patriarchal capitalist notions of education, employment and marriage, and placed at our disposal great reserves of disability funding. The tide has turned! The free wymy of Portland are marching together to Victory! I have full confidence in your rejection of privilege, devotion to queer expression and skill in intersectionality. We will accept nothing less than full Victory! Good luck! And let us all beseech the blessing of people of color upon this great and noble undertaking.
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Oct 2, 2016 01:43
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VERBAL KINT: (V.O) The greatest trick the feminist bookstore from Portlandia ever pulled was convincing the world it wasn't angry. AGENT KUJAN stares at the bulletin board. His eyes grow wide.
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Oct 2, 2016 01:50
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FactsAreUseless posted:...and when they looked in the backseat, there was the feminist bookstore from Portlandia! *holds flashlight under chin* ... but sir, the feminist bookstore from Portlandia is coming from inside the feminist bookstore from Portlandia.
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Oct 2, 2016 01:51
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Morpheus: You'll jack in at the feminist bookstore from Portlandia. Neo: We need guns. Lots of guns.
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Oct 2, 2016 01:52
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EngineerSean posted:Guys this isn't funny any more, tell me the feminist bookstore from Portlandia is something you guys made up or I'm telling Mom. I know not its origins. What I do know is that they are irrelevant. Maybe we did make it up. Maybe our imaginations revealed to us something that was always there, lurking just beyond conscious perception, giving form to something otherwise unknowable. In either case, things take on a life of their own. In time two teenage girls will murder their friend as a sacrifice to the Feminist Bookstore from Portlandia. I see it in my dreams and know that it is inevitable. When I wake I see blood on my hands, and know that I share responsibility, as does everyone posting in this thread. It will come for us all, in time.
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Oct 2, 2016 01:56
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This, but with the feminist bookstore from Portlandia instead of the school. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RScqJUWBpjs
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Oct 2, 2016 01:57
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| # ? May 9, 2024 22:41 |
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Willamette Week? Is Frank West going to cover this story? He'd better hurry and solve the mystery in under 72 hours, though...
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Oct 2, 2016 02:04
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