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Whip Slagcheek
Sep 21, 2008

Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night


Physical therapy is great, just make sure you actually do the exercises they give you to do at home/at the gym when you're not at therapy.

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ElMaligno
Dec 31, 2004

Be Gay!
Do Crime!

MurderBot posted:

only if you plan on doing curls because nobody wants to lose their bicep pump

after loosing 40 pounds of mostly fat I do have some sick rear end bicep pumps. it actually motivated me to start weightlifting again and include curls on my routine.

Nice and hot piss
Feb 1, 2004

ElMaligno posted:

after loosing 40 pounds of mostly fat I do have some sick rear end bicep pumps. it actually motivated me to start weightlifting again and include curls on my routine.

Truth. Forget this whole "functional fitness" crap about how bicep curls are pointless. Having gnar bi's is cool regardless of what you want to achieve in life physically.

Diarrhea Elemental
Apr 2, 2012

Am I correct in my assumption, you fish-faced enemy of the people?

Whip Slagcheek posted:

Lingering over someone while they're in the squat rack asking "how many more" after every set is an established justification for murder right?

Probably. I'll usually offer to shift the rack down a position if they want to work in and it isn't like a 3+ plate swap every set, but I'll be damned if some twiggy little poo poo's going to rush me.

MurderBot posted:

Truth. Forget this whole "functional fitness" crap about how bicep curls are pointless. Having gnar bi's is cool regardless of what you want to achieve in life physically.

The magic moment when you have to explain to someone how agonist-antagonist muscle group relationships work and why they're having elbow pain because they're a stupid poo poo and aren't balancing their triceps with their biceps... It's glorious.

vains
May 26, 2004

A Big Ten institution offering distance education catering to adult learners

MurderBot posted:

Truth. Forget this whole "functional fitness" crap about how bicep curls are pointless. Having gnar bi's is cool regardless of what you want to achieve in life physically.

the people that are/were big on functional fitness are:
formerly fat it nerds that just discovered deadlifting
the same people that ate tubs of lard for that weird diet
i.e. loving weirdo dorks



i'm going to hover over any equipment if the dude is using less than two plates. the pink weights are in the yoga studio, bitch.

ElMaligno
Dec 31, 2004

Be Gay!
Do Crime!

I will have my strong handsome biceps to choke people out

vulturesrow
Sep 25, 2011

Always gotta pay it forward.
Hey functional fitness assholes, strength is functional, period. Now get out of my way before I overhead press you through the ceiling.

ElMaligno
Dec 31, 2004

Be Gay!
Do Crime!

I also deadlift and squat not because I want more functional strength but because I want to retake my "Presuntinho" nickname and crush people with my thicccc legs.

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this
From April 4 - October 4 I lost 60 lbs and went from ~40% body fat to ~15% body fat (formula of height, weight, and waist measurements. Not super accurate but for my purposes is p good).

All I did was deadlift (and overhead press) on monday, bench (and incline and curl) on wednesday, and squat on friday. Ate ~1700 calories a day (doing intermittent fasting) and stopped drinking. For all my working sets, squats are at 275, deadlift at 315, and bench at 155. Shut up I have long rear end arms. Soon as I see some abs I'm gonna turn right around and try the slowest cleanest bulk possible and get deadlift up to ~400 and squats up to ~315. I been cutting and eating clean so long I dunno how I will handle more calories.

This is my gym:



Some benefits of losing weight:
I'm no longer sweaty all the goddamn time
I can tie my shoes without being winded
My dingus looks bigger

So to all you fatbodies out there, you can do it, too.

Whip Slagcheek
Sep 21, 2008

Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night


Lmao sick ETID poster, I remember when I was 18.

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this

Whip Slagcheek posted:

Lmao sick ETID poster, I remember when I was 18.

uh it's a flag

:goonsay:

Also etid still owns

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed


Grimey Drawer
pro as gently caress diamond dogges flag though

Mustang
Jun 18, 2006

“We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”
Me and a buddy from work have been doing Stronglifts 5x5 Monday, Wednesday and Friday and it owns.

Workout A
Squat 5x5
Benchpress 5x5
Bent over row 5x5

Workout B
Squat 5x5
Overhead Press 5x5
Deadlift 5x5

Deadlift is my all time favorite lift, love the feeling after each set

My diet isn't bad but I need to keep track of my calories better. All the drinking on the weekends doesn't help much either.

its curtains for Kevin
Nov 14, 2011

Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless
Strong lifts is a good starter program for people who are new to plates. My advice is to make your gains as slow as the program dictates so you don't plateau hard at 200 lbs on your lifts.

Nice and hot piss
Feb 1, 2004

Owning a home gym is kind of like that "I made it in his world" tier IMHO

sky shark
Jun 9, 2004

CHILD RAPE IS FINE WHEN I LIKE THE RAPIST
Stronglifts is one of the few apps that I paid for the extra add-ons because 3x5, plate calculator, and assistive exercises are so helpful. I've got a home gym setup, so I can put in all the plates I have, and additional bar specs for specific exercises and it'll figure it out for me.

Anyone know of a similar app for Texas or Madcow?

sky shark fucked around with this message at 16:13 on Oct 6, 2016

its curtains for Kevin
Nov 14, 2011

Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless
Been on Convict Conditioning for about a month now, gonna use this SW Asia mob as an excuse to train myself to do handstand push-ups and pistol squats. 💪🏻

vulturesrow
Sep 25, 2011

Always gotta pay it forward.

its curtains for Kevin posted:

Been on Convict Conditioning for about a month now, gonna use this SW Asia mob as an excuse to train myself to do handstand push-ups and pistol squats. 💪🏻

I've been using it selectively. Its not a bad book for getting into the bodyweight routine.

its curtains for Kevin
Nov 14, 2011

Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless
I feel similarly. I'm gonna integrate plates into it, and some of the progressions, but the idea is sound.

vulturesrow
Sep 25, 2011

Always gotta pay it forward.

its curtains for Kevin posted:

I feel similarly. I'm gonna integrate plates into it, and some of the progressions, but the idea is sound.

Yes I'm using it as more of a supplement to my lifting routine. However I'm underway right now so I've been doing more rather than less BW stuff. Some of his progressions are good, some are kind of dumb, handstand pushup one comes to mind. Also if you are using his routines as a standalone routine I think they need a lot more volume. Granted for someone that has never worked out before his routines might make a little more sense. And the fluff in his book is really bad. Like the guy loves to slam weightlifting but it's quite clear from reading that he has no clue about what properly done weightlifting actually is. So I don't regret buying his book, but it has inspired me to look for something that is better written by someone that actually understands the pros and cons of both BW routines and heavy lifting.

its curtains for Kevin
Nov 14, 2011

Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless
Yeah I just started at handstand 3 tbh. Im still gonna wait until close push-ups to try for the progressions proper though.

Time Crisis Actor
Apr 28, 2002

by Hand Knit
Anyone pain or numbness in their forearms when squatting? I've squatted low-bar since forever, but in the last two months or so, my left arm has started going numb as soon as I get under the bar. It doesn't really happen with an unloaded bar, but as soon as I move past like 95lbs it starts up. Am I pinching a nerve or something?

sky shark
Jun 9, 2004

CHILD RAPE IS FINE WHEN I LIKE THE RAPIST
100% yes, get it checked out

if you go with a wider grip does it still happen? do they have safety squat bars?

Time Crisis Actor
Apr 28, 2002

by Hand Knit

sky shark posted:

if you go with a wider grip does it still happen? do they have safety squat bars?

If my hands are all the way out to the plates then it doesn't happen, but then I also can't shoulder the bar. So yeah, at any reasonable grip width it still happens. No SSBs at this gym.

Whip Slagcheek
Sep 21, 2008

Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night


You're probably compressing a nerve, but I'd have it checked with a doctor anyway.

Diarrhea Elemental
Apr 2, 2012

Am I correct in my assumption, you fish-faced enemy of the people?
Third on get it checked out.

In the meantime you should be really warming up your shoulders before you get under the bar, using some decent wrist wraps, possibly more rear delt work to build a bigger "shelf", and refining your hand positioning. All of them will help keep the bar in the proper rack position and, in the case of the wraps, will help mitigate that torque transmission down to your elbows and shoulders as your wrists buckle backwards. By "can't shoulder the bar" do you mean you can't produce the scapular retraction (ie pinching your shoulder blades together) to form that "shelf" from your rear delts when you use a wider hand position? Because that's a whole different issue and one that should be relatively easier to correct unless you're just this side of being a midget.

Endbuster
Jan 7, 2013

There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
Its me again. I have another annual PT test coming up in Feb, and I've gotten to the point where the only thing I can't max is the run.

How the gently caress do I lose a minute on the Army 2 miler. What am I doin' wrong.

I squat, run hills, do sprints, do 60/120s. What is the loving secret?

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit

Endbuster posted:

Its me again. I have another annual PT test coming up in Feb, and I've gotten to the point where the only thing I can't max is the run.

How the gently caress do I lose a minute on the Army 2 miler. What am I doin' wrong.

I squat, run hills, do sprints, do 60/120s. What is the loving secret?

Go faster

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

Mike-o posted:

pro as gently caress diamond dogges flag though

Frosted Flake
Sep 13, 2011

Semper Shitpost Ubique

I'm doing 36 weeks of SF selection prep on top of the mandatory track and rowing workouts. 6 weeks in, it's going surprisingly well. Rucking in the winter is balls though.

I got selected for Invictus, so I think I might as well go all-out.

http://breakingmuscle.com/train/phase-1-special-forces-prep-structural-balance-strength-aerobic-base

Mustang
Jun 18, 2006

“We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

Endbuster posted:

Its me again. I have another annual PT test coming up in Feb, and I've gotten to the point where the only thing I can't max is the run.

How the gently caress do I lose a minute on the Army 2 miler. What am I doin' wrong.

I squat, run hills, do sprints, do 60/120s. What is the loving secret?

Seriously, just run faster. Identify someone thats a good runner and just be determined to not let them get past you, it's the only way I can max the run. I don't even consider myself much of a runner, I only run maybe 5-8 miles a week these days. Other people consider me a good runner for some reason, not really sure why. I don't even do sprints or anything, just lots of squats and deadlifts in my lifting routine.

Nice and hot piss
Feb 1, 2004

Running is kind of person dependent. You can either do well at it because you're genetically gifted and have a bunch of slow twitch muscles, or you have to put in a lot more effort than the dude who's running sub 12 minute miles and is chain smoking while running. So some guys can do what Mustang does and be considered a good runner while other's would need to do double/triple the miles per week to be competitive. Unfair, but your parents didn't bless you with running genetics.

The best way to gain speed is to lose weight. The unwritten rule is that for every 10 lbs you lose you will drop 20 seconds off your 1 mile run, in a perfect situation. Regardless, if you're buff as gently caress and can bend steel beams without jet fuel it's quite difficult to get fast distance times in.... In relation to your current level of fitness. It's not impossible for strong dudes to throw down fast times, but if they dropped the weight they would be much faster than their current times, even if they're doing 3 mile runs under 18 minutes.

After that, it's consistently running over the week routinely and building towards higher mileage in the beginning, followed by speed work. Doing nothing but running sprints and 60's is fine but if you don't have a solid foundation the speed work is going to give you limited increases in speed. If you're not running gifted, then you will need to do more than 15 miles a week. Getting a good month of just doing a lot of base miles and then doing a period of intensity with some longer runs gives you a good platform to gain a lot of speed.


It's unfortunate that endurance running is a skinny man's sport. You never see super buff dudes in the olympics running the 5,000 meters, it's always 5 ft 10 dudes who weigh 130 lbs but they're throwing down sub 5 minute miles and their "casual" pace of 5:30 is our sprint pace around the track.



Also: just running through the pain is huge. Endurance sports hurt...Cycling, Running, endurance swimming... Being comfortable with feeling uncomfortable essentially is what the name of the game is.

Endbuster
Jan 7, 2013

There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.

MurderBot posted:

Running is kind of person dependent. You can either do well at it because you're genetically gifted and have a bunch of slow twitch muscles, or you have to put in a lot more effort than the dude who's running sub 12 minute miles and is chain smoking while running. So some guys can do what Mustang does and be considered a good runner while other's would need to do double/triple the miles per week to be competitive. Unfair, but your parents didn't bless you with running genetics.

The best way to gain speed is to lose weight. The unwritten rule is that for every 10 lbs you lose you will drop 20 seconds off your 1 mile run, in a perfect situation. Regardless, if you're buff as gently caress and can bend steel beams without jet fuel it's quite difficult to get fast distance times in.... In relation to your current level of fitness. It's not impossible for strong dudes to throw down fast times, but if they dropped the weight they would be much faster than their current times, even if they're doing 3 mile runs under 18 minutes.

After that, it's consistently running over the week routinely and building towards higher mileage in the beginning, followed by speed work. Doing nothing but running sprints and 60's is fine but if you don't have a solid foundation the speed work is going to give you limited increases in speed. If you're not running gifted, then you will need to do more than 15 miles a week. Getting a good month of just doing a lot of base miles and then doing a period of intensity with some longer runs gives you a good platform to gain a lot of speed.


It's unfortunate that endurance running is a skinny man's sport. You never see super buff dudes in the olympics running the 5,000 meters, it's always 5 ft 10 dudes who weigh 130 lbs but they're throwing down sub 5 minute miles and their "casual" pace of 5:30 is our sprint pace around the track.



Also: just running through the pain is huge. Endurance sports hurt...Cycling, Running, endurance swimming... Being comfortable with feeling uncomfortable essentially is what the name of the game is.

Well that brings it in to reality a little more. I don't weigh all that much, honestly. 145. I'm short as hell so I get to contend with a not so large stride. But back to running. I do 12 miles a week right now. eh, a stupid 300 might not even be worth it heh. All I get it a go-no go in that block anyway.

CHICKEN SHOES
Oct 4, 2002
Slippery Tilde
I'm not going to go back and read the thread because apparently I posted in it a lot when I was in my "realllly drunk rear end in a top hat" phase of 2012, but what is a good, preferably free, website that has like simple beginners gym workout plans just for general getting back into shape. I can't do anything that requires a spotter or anything.

I'd like to to explain the exercises and how to do them properly with like weekly plans or whatever. I'm absolutely terrible at planning workouts or whatever and really have no idea about working out other than dumb rear end army poo poo which is to say not at all.

Nothing gimmicky or whatever just like "curl with 20lb dumbell 50 times" then "do some leg press thing" and then job 2 miles sort of level of simplicity. Like a personal trainer for fat old women kind of but online.

bengy81
May 8, 2010

Hillary Clintons Thong posted:

I'm not going to go back and read the thread because apparently I posted in it a lot when I was in my "realllly drunk rear end in a top hat" phase of 2012, but what is a good, preferably free, website that has like simple beginners gym workout plans just for general getting back into shape. I can't do anything that requires a spotter or anything.

I'd like to to explain the exercises and how to do them properly with like weekly plans or whatever. I'm absolutely terrible at planning workouts or whatever and really have no idea about working out other than dumb rear end army poo poo which is to say not at all.

Nothing gimmicky or whatever just like "curl with 20lb dumbell 50 times" then "do some leg press thing" and then job 2 miles sort of level of simplicity. Like a personal trainer for fat old women kind of but online.

StrongLifts 5x5 if you are looking into weightlifting. Download the free app, and it tells you what to do and when to do it.

Mustang
Jun 18, 2006

“We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”
Yeah strong lifts is awesome, you can google it too, he has a website for it.

CHICKEN SHOES
Oct 4, 2002
Slippery Tilde
took a look at it and it looks like about what I want, and I didn't get a bunch of MEGACUMLORD 5000 ads everywhere either which is nice, thanks!

Aranan
May 21, 2007

Release the Kraken

Hillary Clintons Thong posted:

I didn't get a bunch of MEGACUMLORD 5000 ads everywhere either which is nice, thanks!

Your loss.

FWIW, I've been using Greyskull Linear Program and it's been good to me so far. I'm pretty sure you can Google for the basics of the plan or just use Stronglifts.

This is someone's variant of GSLP that is kind of popular On The Internet.

Internet Wizard
Aug 9, 2009

BANDAIDS DON'T FIX BULLET HOLES

http://www.exrx.net/ is a really good resource for all sorts of "what the hell is an X" or "what's the right form for X" questions.

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its curtains for Kevin
Nov 14, 2011

Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless
Did a bunch of assisted pull-ups for volume, and did two sets of bar hangs for a minute, and afterwards I still did 2 sets of 3 chin ups unassisted. :dance:
My torso is very long and my back has always sucked, so making good progress cheers me way up.

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