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A bout of sickness and diarrhoea in our household has led us to teach our 3 year old "Not to trust a Trump".
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Oct 3, 2016 13:17
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kells posted:Tantrums are often about letting out emotions rather than really wanting a blue cup. You know how sometimes you just feel better after a good cry? Along this line, we acknowledge the feeling (you are frustrated that you can't play with the xyz or whatever the situation) and just let him get his feelings out. We always sit in the room with him and hold him or not based on what he wants but we let him get his feelings out, and then he move on quickly. Our philosophy is generally that we limit or correct behaviors but feelings are OK. Yeah, you can be mad if something happens you don't like. But throwing toys, hitting, etc. are not acceptable and will be corrected.
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Oct 3, 2016 13:31
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Whats peoples opinions on throwing toys in general? Mine seems to like putting his toy cars and stuffed animals on the table and then throwing them off onto the floor one at a time or all at once and picking them up and putting them back on and I am not sure whether I should put a stop to it. I mean, we have our limits - throwing at people is not okay, throwing in anger is not okay, throwing hard enough to hreak things is not okay, but this feels like a grey area, and I am not sure if I should be stopping him. Obvioualy throwing a ball and stuff around is okay since we do that together so we cant just say no throwing at all, and he generally is pretty good at not throwing or throwing at things we care about, so I guess the real question is should I care if he throws his toys?
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Oct 3, 2016 17:59
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^^^ That is pretty age dependant. When they're young, getting them to not hurl stuff at people and pets is enough of a goal, but when they're older, I think it's ok to expect more. My kid is a big thrower when she's mad/frustrated/bored/happy/breathing, so we've worked hard at getting her to express herself in more appropriate ways when she's upset, and direct her towards soft non-breakable missiles when she just wants to muck about.sheri posted:Our philosophy is generally that we limit or correct behaviors but feelings are OK. We do this too, and emphasise using words instead of hitting and throwing. It has had the hilarious consequence of our daughter now yelling: "I AM VERY VERY MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW! LIKE A GIANT POOP! YUCK!" while stomping around the house, which is a massive improvement from the wailing and the flailing about. (There is of course some wailing and flailing still, but less than there used to be!) Sockmuppet fucked around with this message at 19:22 on Oct 3, 2016 |
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Oct 3, 2016 19:16
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We've reach the stage where little hands are finding their way into cabinets and what not. What is the approved or recommended way to secure drawers, cabinets, and other things? The less installation or residual effect the better, as I'd like to sell this house one day without too much expense. Yes, I know no matter what I'm going to be putting in new carpet and paint.
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Oct 3, 2016 19:47
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FunOne posted:We've reach the stage where little hands are finding their way into cabinets and what not. What is the approved or recommended way to secure drawers, cabinets, and other things? One thing we did was to move stuff around so that the things she could reach were non-breakable things, so she could explore without destroying stuff and/or injuring herself. We also filled the lowest shelves in the book case with her stuff, so she had fun things to rummage around in. Basically our biggest baby proofing strategy was to remove the need to baby proof wherever possible. Sure, we had to clean up some pretty impressive messes, but putting spatulas and ladles back in the drawer and folding towels back up and putting them in the cupboard really isn't a big deal, and she had just as big a blast pulling them back down the next day  (Obviously we also secured shelves that could tip over, etc)
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Oct 3, 2016 20:03
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Wife is back in the hospital for at least a weak from complications from the delivery, again, 21 loving months later. This never loving ends, holy hell. They straight up said shes probably going to get an infection from this surgery too so theres a good chance she will be back in again in a month or two. Her c section opened up and the intestines spilled out and caused all sorts of problems. While they were fixing that they discovered her uterus was misplaced because it was fused with a bunch of scar tissue so they cleared all that out while they had her open, so thats at least one surgery she would have had to have but doesnt need to now. Oh and she should not have any more kids for at least a year but preferably never since there is a good chance the attempt will kill her so thats great news. And then to top it off she had a panic attack for over 40 minutes after the surgery without anyone coming to help her while I was out picking up the baby from daycare and getting him dinner. Of all the problems and difficulties I foresaw in being a parent, dealing with this sort of poo poo almost two years out was not in the list.
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Oct 4, 2016 01:30
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That's awful  Abdominal surgery sucks. I hope she recovers and heals over time. If you don't mind my asking, how did it re-tear?
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Oct 4, 2016 01:47
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Dunno, apparently it just happens and turns into a hernia sometimes. She has put on a lot of weight dealing with the stress which is probably a contributing factor, the details of the emergency c section are probably more or at least equally responsible. The original series of infections that sent her back to the hospital the first time probably didnt help. Beyond that its just bad luck I guess.
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Oct 4, 2016 02:04
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FunOne posted:We've reach the stage where little hands are finding their way into cabinets and what not. What is the approved or recommended way to secure drawers, cabinets, and other things? We went the latch route on our cabinets and furniture, but that will leave holes when you remove. The one suggestion based on our mistake: make sure you use a different method to secure important drawers than less important, accessible ones. We put the same latches on her dresser to keep her from throwing all her clothes on the floor. So when she was a little older it meant as soon as she figured out her room, she knew how to get into the cabinet under the sink.
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Oct 4, 2016 02:10
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GlyphGryph posted:Dunno, apparently it just happens and turns into a hernia sometimes. She has put on a lot of weight dealing with the stress which is probably a contributing factor, the details of the emergency c section are probably more or at least equally responsible. The original series of infections that sent her back to the hospital the first time probably didnt help. Beyond that its just bad luck I guess. I remember your posts after she had the baby. I'm so so sorry that she's still struggling and having issues. I'm sorry 
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Oct 4, 2016 03:32
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Thanks for remembering and sympathizing. Baby is dropped off with parents, and I'll be back with the hospital in her with the morning. Hopefully we both sleep tonight. Despite all of this, I can't help but feel that we're lucky, too - he's just such an amazing baby, everything about him, and thankfully none of this poor health poo poo we have to deal with has been reflected on him.
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Oct 4, 2016 03:39
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It seems like Gabriel wants to be advanced and start his 8 month sleep regression now. He's not eating much during the day, rarely naps, then wakes up twice a night now where he used to sleep all night. It isn't so bad but just shocking after being fine on Friday night. I've seen quite a few places say to adjust schedules and I'm sitting here wondering what schedule we even used  He slept when he was tired. Ate when he was hungry. All was wonderous in the land of Oz. I guess we need to figure out more than "Bed by no later than 9:00pm"?
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Oct 5, 2016 16:57
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God I loving hate hospitals so much. She is in so much pain she spent literally hours earlier today sobbing in bed and no one would even come into to loving see her, they just her she isn't do for more meds yet. She had a loving panic attack in the bed and they finally, 40 loving minutes later, gave her some Ativan to help her calm down (but they still won't give her more pain meds). They'll give her the minimum dose of Dilaudid and some Ibuprofen and no more... when they actually bother to see her at all, which isn't often. They'll tell her they'll "be right back" and disappear for half an hour, an hour, more. Argh, this is so horrible, and it's horrible because they are making it loving horrible. She has barely slept since she got into the hospital because the pain has been so unrelenting (her neighbour being hooked up to an alarm that she sets off every 10 loving minutes by getting up when she's not supposed to certainly doesn't help). It's been three days of hell now. I hate hospitals. I hate them so loving much. God drat it, I just... I just can't handle having her calling me on the phone crying, hours after I left, painfully explaining that they still haven't even come to see her. I know this is only really tangentially related to the thread, so apologies. I just... don't know where else to complain about it, hahah.
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Oct 6, 2016 02:25
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GlyphGryph posted:I know this is only really tangentially related to the thread, so apologies. I just... don't know where else to complain about it, hahah. I can't imagine what you're going through. My wife was in hospital overnight at Christmas, and imagined my life without her and I just couldn't face it. If you want to rant or vent, send me a PM. I know this is SA and historically goons are horrible, but you can't vent to your wife so you need to vent somewhere.
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Oct 6, 2016 08:03
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My latest best discovery: train videos on YouTube. It's like crack for 2 year olds. Changes his moods instantly. Edit: train spotters may be weird but there's a little pre-schooler in all of them.
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Oct 6, 2016 17:50
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What should I look for as far as a carseat for a very big 16 month old? The tallness seems to be more problematic given car seat specifications. If he continues as he's started he'll be over 40" by 3 years old, which puts him above the limit for the Consumer Reports recommended budget model for convertibles. Do I just need to accept that he's going to outgrow a car seat every year? We're trying to pinch pennies but don't want to skimp on safety.
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Oct 6, 2016 18:29
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kaschei posted:What should I look for as far as a carseat for a very big 16 month old? The tallness seems to be more problematic given car seat specifications. If he continues as he's started he'll be over 40" by 3 years old, which puts him above the limit for the Consumer Reports recommended budget model for convertibles. Do I just need to accept that he's going to outgrow a car seat every year? We're trying to pinch pennies but don't want to skimp on safety. Kids slow down their growth dramatically in the second and the third years. If you're in the US, particularly long lasting seats height wise include Dionos, Chicco NextFit, Britax ClickTight seats excluding the Marathon, and many Graco seats. Out of those, the NextFit is my absolute favorite as it's a dream to install and super cushy. My daily seats are Diono Radians, though, so that someone can actually sit in my backseat with kids. They're horrible to install forward facing.
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Oct 6, 2016 18:35
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We have a Chicco NextFit too and it is great. Cover comes off easily to wash, installs easily, very adjustable.
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Oct 6, 2016 18:37
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I'm not extrapolating a constant linear growth, I'm looking at WHO/CDC height-by-age charts. But I guess I'm going to buy two $100 carseats rather than spend $200+ on something that may or may not last for two years.
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Oct 6, 2016 19:09
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So my two and a half year old is officially too big to play with kids his own age, and not mentally "there" enough yet to play with kids his own size. He's pushing 50 pounds now (and he's not fat at all according to our pediatrician) and is at least a head taller than the other 2-3 year old's. On top of his size he's monstrously strong. His new favorite game for example is to rearrange the furniture in the house, and he was able to partially lift the kitchen table off the ground (fairly large, made of hardwood). It's really frustrating because I want desperately to socialize him, but he's just too big and rough to play with the other little ones. WTF BEES fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Oct 6, 2016 |
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Oct 6, 2016 19:09
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kaschei posted:I'm not extrapolating a constant linear growth, I'm looking at WHO/CDC height-by-age charts. But I guess I'm going to buy two $100 carseats rather than spend $200+ on something that may or may not last for two years. They still slow down. A $200 car seat is definitely going to get you a lot more use than two years given my like 44" 4 yo still fits RF in a Radian and probably a NextFit (haven't tried that one in a while). Not to mention that, once they outgrow them RF, you'll get several more years FF out of them.
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Oct 6, 2016 22:40
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kaschei posted:What should I look for as far as a carseat for a very big 16 month old? The tallness seems to be more problematic given car seat specifications. If he continues as he's started he'll be over 40" by 3 years old, which puts him above the limit for the Consumer Reports recommended budget model for convertibles. Do I just need to accept that he's going to outgrow a car seat every year? We're trying to pinch pennies but don't want to skimp on safety. We have the Safety 1st Grow N Go EX Air 3-in-1 Convertible Car Seat which rear faces up to 49" and 50lbs. We actually just switched to this seat in July from a Cosco Scenera Next because we wanted an upgrade and the option of converting to a highback booster after forward facing. I definitely recommend the CSN if you don't mind a no-frills seat that can rear face to 40" without spending a ton of money. They even make an upgraded version now with added cupholders and a higher forward facing weight limit.
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Oct 7, 2016 00:44
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My 3 year old is in like the 99th percentile for height and still rear faces in a Nextfit with lots of room to go. A kid's individual build makes a difference too, if their height is in their legs they will usually reach the limits of the seat later.
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Oct 7, 2016 01:04
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Has anyone had any experience with kids expressing existential issues? Let me elaborate. Our 5 year old boy often mentions what if so and so didn't exist, or outright wishing something didn't exist. Normal things, "I wish bed time didn't exist", "imagine if rain didn't exist", etc. Last night though, things turned dark for a bit. He was having a dinner-related tantrum, he didn't want to eat the chicken and wanted cake, usual stuff. We finally calmed him down buy telling him about 'chicken oysters' and how granpa and granma just LOOOOVE them, and how there are only two of them in each chicken, and would he try to have one. He excitedly said he would like to try it, and we said great he could have one, and mom and dad would share the other one. He wittingly said, "No! If I like it, I'll eat both!", so we laughed. And he just broke down crying, "It's not funny!!! Why do you laugh AT me?!? bwaa"... and then he said it "That's why I wish ~I~ didn't exist!". We held him and consoled him and he calmed down and had dinner and things were fine afterwards. But my wife and I were at a loss regarding his comment. He's a happy kid, sure he has a 1y/o sister that he's gotten (getting?) used to; but he loves school so far, has a lot of friends, etc.. I later asked him what he had meant and he just ignored me and we played. A few minutes later mom went out to the gym and I stayed with him, things eventually became a drama again because I told him he needed to brush his teeth, "I want mom!" repeated about 50 times while crying. Trying to console him did not work, but I eventually convinced him to come brush his teeth. Still crying, he said "See?? This is why I wish I didn't exist!", I said "how do you mean?", "Because I feel ill like thiiiiisss! bwaaaa"'. After a bit he saw a light at the window and immediately stopped crying and was all excited finding out what it was. This led me to wonder whether it had all just a well-calculated attention-calling manipulation. Has anyone had comments like these from your kids? I figured it might be a terrible-twos situation when they are trying to figure things out, but having words they can now express their feelings. If it's normal, is there anything specific one should do to guide them through these feelings? We will surely keep an eye out and seek help if it gets a bit overboard, but I thought I'd ask about any experiences here.
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Oct 7, 2016 22:01
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Holy poo poo man that's amazing. Your kid is literally Kierkegaard reincarnate.
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Oct 7, 2016 22:42
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Wife is home from the hospital. I thankfully still have a few days off, have been taking care of the two of them. Things are calming down a bit now that we all have a schedule and a bit more control, for however long that lasts. In a positive surprise, my 20-month old has started asking to use the toilet, and actually successfully pooped in it! (He hasn't peed yet, only sat there for a bit before raising his hands and saying "Pee!" and then saying he's all done) I'm not pretending this is any way indicative of him being potty trained, he's had plenty of situations like this where he seems to jump "ahead" on a whim and then loses interest again after a while, but it is pretty nice and since he has been wanting to go before bathtime it at least means less a chance of poop in the tub (which is thankfully very very rare anyway)
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Oct 8, 2016 00:56
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Nice, Glyph. My 22 month old daughter constantly asks to use the potty, but only pees after she steps off the potty (onto the ground/carpet/tile/etc). She does give a giant thumbs up every time she pees and poops though - at least she knows what's going on to some degree? My wife seems 100% unwilling to look into letting our child try peeing on the potty because of the current results, though.
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Oct 8, 2016 06:05
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rgocs posted:Has anyone had any experience with kids expressing existential issues? Let me elaborate. I think this is mostly triggered by a reaction to being overwhelmed by emotions - my son has issues similar to this sometimes. I find what's worked best over time is to appeal to his rational nature. Y asking him about his feelings and getting him to think through things. "I hate rain, I wish it didn't exist" "Why is that?" "I hate getting wet" "Well, most people don't enjoy it but I know you like eating. Do you think we would have [favourite food] without rain?" And so on If he's too wound to respond to that I usually just assume tiredness is leading to issues with processing stuff and get him to have a rest by saying he can go think about things on his bed or maybe rest, which usually leads to "I'm not sleeping!" *snore*
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Oct 8, 2016 08:44
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Baja Mofufu posted:My initial instinct is to offer her the chance to try the potty when I go to the bathroom (she's almost always there to watch me and clap for my successful potty use) and before bath time. Then we'd get more serious when she's a little older. I realize that in this situation "potty training" would take months, and I know a lot of parents who swear by getting it done quickly. So, if you were in this situation, what would you do? With all my kids, we put a little potty in the bathroom and when they could sit up we put them on the potty at least before bathtime. We just sat them there for a few seconds, maybe even peed alongside them to show them what to do, and that was that. We never really pushed it until the kids could clearly talk to us about if they had to go, poop or pee, etc. We give them a small treat (often a little chocolate) if they pee and once they are ready to seriously train we do a little chart and every five stickers they get ice cream with daddy or something. My oldest took FOREVER to train, we were genuinely worried he would be in kindergarten in diapers. But, at 4 1/2 he finally just stopped needing diapers during the day. He still wears diapers to bed, but it turns out my husband needed them for a long while too so I guess it's genetic? Now we have to train him to properly pee standing up, when he does he puts his pants down around his ankles. He's so comfortable pissing sitting down its going to be hard to retrain him, but I know for his sake in elementary school he'll get so teased and its better in the long run. My middle child, a girl, surprised us both by training very fast. She said she wanted to wear underpants, so we chose a long weekend to put her in underpants and clean up after her messes. It took a few weekends, if she consistently had accidents we put her back in pullups and tried again a few weeks later. Again, we never pushed it and she eventually got the hang of it. She did it at around 3 years old, which surprised the heck out of me! She even stayed dry overnight right away. My youngest (2 1/2) shows a ton of interest, but he also drinks something like 2 gallons of water a day (I have no idea, it feels like too much but if the kid is thirsty...) and fills his diapers within the hour you put it on him. He pees through his overnights consistently, we change his PJs and sheets at least once a night. We try to keep water away from him, but he just finds water bottles for the other kids all over the house and can down a full sippy cup in 3 minutes or less. Until we get his water addiction under control, potty training him would be a nightmare. So, we put him on the potty every night, give him a little treat when he pees, and wait. I know a lot of people who were in a rush, and forced their kids into programs or following schedules that simply frustrated everyone. Lots of tears, arguments, etc. I get it if there is a school you are trying to get into or something, but for the vanity or convenience of it? I wanted my kids to learn to listen to their body, to get used to all kinds of toilets in all kinds of bathrooms, to trust themselves to wipe and wash up themselves, and that all comes with maturity. I know kids who only trained on little portable potties and were genuinely afraid of flushing toilets. I know kids who didn't know how to wipe themselves. It's not a fun or easy process, every kid is different, just trust your child to be able to learn and give them room to make mistakes and improve. And always carry an extra pair of underwear and shorts/jeans just in case.
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Oct 9, 2016 05:02
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have you talked about that water addiction with your ped? that sounds like a lot, and excessive thirst (and the peeing with it) tipped off a friend to their kids diabetes. or your kid just runs around a lot and gets thirsty
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Oct 10, 2016 14:30
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Yeah I'd have that looked at if I where you. I got diabetes myself and that's how I was before I finally got myself to the doctor.
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Oct 11, 2016 08:04
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AA is for Quitters posted:have you talked about that water addiction with your ped? that sounds like a lot, and excessive thirst (and the peeing with it) tipped off a friend to their kids diabetes. or your kid just runs around a lot and gets thirsty We just finalized his adoption a few months ago, so once we get all the insurance stuff figured out we're going to get him to our regular ped. He doesn't get a bottle anymore, though we do give him milk before bed, so we figured it was a comfort thing. No bottle or pacifier to suck on, so he just moved to sucking on all the water bottles for comfort. Because he's adopted, we don't have any family medical history or anything. He's not lethargic or acting any different than my other kids, but it never hurts to ask. My oldest has developed a habit of clearing his throat and snuffling, so we figure he might have allergies. Looks like a big trip to the ped for everyone!
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Oct 11, 2016 16:33
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Oh good, toilet training chat. My 3 year old son was doing so well, for about a month, consistently telling me when he had to go, and we'd put him on the toilet (with one of those kid seat things to make it smaller) and he'd do what he had to do and that was that. But then, of course the inevitable happened... he held it for too long one day and it hurt when he pooped. This was a month ago, and it hasn't hurt him since, but he steadfastly refuses to poop in the toilet. The past 3 weeks have been nonstop cycle of "I have to go to the bathroom"...bring him to bathroom, go to put him on seat and he says "I changed my mind" or "the feeling went away". Putting him on the toilet at this point will elicit a screaming fit, because he doesn't want to poop. No sooner have we walked out of the bathroom and back down the stairs and he says "I have to go again". Same scenario plays out. We have like 5 different potties but he's always preferred the toilet. I've put the potties at various locations around the house, and after a few rounds of "I have to go... no I don't... yes I do" I tell him "if you feel like you need to go, the potty is right there. You can use the potty, but it's up to you, I'm not going to keep rushing to the bathroom over and over." I make sure he has easy to remove pants, and he does know how to get them down on his own. Without fail, he will poop in his pants rather than use the potty, and then blame it on me because "I *told* you I had to go!" I know at this point, he's not scared, it's almost more like ingrained behavior, a habit. He's also super super stubborn and nigh unbribeable. I had tried in the past with sticker charts and a chocolate chip each time he used the toilet, 2 if he pooped but he was always meh about it. I finally said "Okay the diapers are gone, we use the toilet now!" and that worked. He is not constipated, he just holds it till he can't anymore, or goes in his overnight diaper first thing in the morning. It's become a huge issue and stress and such a colossal power struggle. I guess the tldr; takewaway is: Should I give up this fight for a bit, put him in a diaper when he has to poop, and try again later? I feel like the obvious answer is yes, because it's become such a huge stressor for both of us, but I also feel like it's such a huge regression and he'll fight it harder next time, thinking "if I flip out enough mom will give me back my diapers".
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Oct 12, 2016 19:19
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Obama just signed into a law requiring changing stations in men's bathrooms in all public buildings: http://www.thebump.com/news/changing-tables-mens-restrooms-law Which is great...but at the same time I'll never pass up an opportunity to say my wife "there's no changing station in the men's room? oh well, guess you're up" That's probably why she sent me the link.
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Oct 12, 2016 19:28
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Pretty sure he saw my post about it here. Thanks Obama
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Oct 12, 2016 19:54
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The Nastier Nate posted:Obama just signed into a law requiring changing stations in men's bathrooms in all public buildings: My wife's pretty angry with McDonalds for not having changing stations. I wonder if this will kind of have a side effect of making places put them in both.
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Oct 13, 2016 19:03
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sudont posted:Oh good, toilet training chat. Do not make pooping a power struggle, you will lose. Back off a little, give him a pull-up if he needs to poop & try again in a couple of weeks. For my son, small rewards haven't been enough to get him over his fear of pooping on the potty. It took him wanting a specific toy & us promising that he could have it if he pooped on the potty. It took a week of tantrums & whining, but he finally went in the potty instead of his pull-up. Now, we have a small arsenal of fun things to give him until this becomes the norm & then we'll back off on the presents. We did it like this with dollar store toys for pee & it worked really well.
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Oct 14, 2016 02:53
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We bribed our kid with cheeseburgers if he pooped on the potty.
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Oct 14, 2016 02:59
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Our kiddo got tootsie rolls for pooping. Which is kinda... gross? But whatever. Not only did it work, but almost immediately (like a month or less) after doing it she never asked for a tootsie roll again. She just went. Now granted she has to hold my hand sometimes when she poops (she squeezes it when she gives it all her effort) but that's totally cute so it's all good.
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Oct 14, 2016 05:23
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