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Mu Zeta
Oct 17, 2002

Me crush ass to dust

Oh, I remember that guy. Woops.

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Humerus
Jul 7, 2009

Rule of acquisition #111:
Treat people in your debt like family...exploit them.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDXA4PIThuA

Video's a bit poo poo but this is too good not to post. I especially love how the cop seems to perfectly position the cruiser in the shot. Like someone back at dispatch was watching the news and let the officer know.

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
Cheese

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos
Magic cheese.

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




Reminds me of this one: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/death-penalty-for-chinese-ant-farm-scammer/

Croccers
Jun 15, 2012
Sounds like they managed to scam a rich-kid and they sic'ed the parents on them.

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang





:rip:

Zero One
Dec 30, 2004

HAIL TO THE VICTORS!
Florida Man has an appropriate name

quote:

She awoke from what she thought was a dream to quickly realize someone was in bed with her, rubbing her buttocks. That someone turned out to be a friend without any pants on, according to a police report.

Christopher "Topher" O'Bitts, 29, of Fort Lauderdale, is now jailed on two charges of sexual battery.


http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/fl-after-party-sex-arrest-20161010-story.html

GEORGE W BUSHI
Jul 1, 2012

Englishman spends 11 hours trying to make tea with wifi kettle.

Yvonmukluk
Oct 10, 2012

Everything is Sinister



And that man's name was Arthur Dent.

Automated Posting
Jan 12, 2013

Ronald McDonald lying low until clown scare blows over

quote:

In a statement Tuesday, the fast-food chain announced that Ronald McDonald and his signature red and gold garb won’t be seen in public for a while, at least until America stops being so collectively terrified of his kind.

quote:

The announcement comes after weeks of reported creepy clown sightings across the United States that have led to something approaching mass hysteria, playground panic and even some arrests.

This has all gotten a bit out of hand.

Humerus
Jul 7, 2009

Rule of acquisition #111:
Treat people in your debt like family...exploit them.



Truly we're living in the glorious future the Jetsons promised us.

zedprime
Jun 9, 2007

yospos
Man's fiancée to murderer: 'Why did you have to kill him over Deez Nuts?'

That headline wrote itself really.

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Intoluene
Jul 6, 2011

Activating self-destruct sequence!
Fun Shoe

Well, Rubin Carter was a professional boxer after all.

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



So the journalists are in on the joke, right? I can't believe there'd be this many news stories with 'Florida man' in the title.

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



Phlegmish posted:

So the journalists are in on the joke, right? I can't believe there'd be this many news stories with 'Florida man' in the title.

Florida Man Sets Out to Disprove Florida Man Rumors

Kennel
May 1, 2008

BAWWW-UNH!

http://www.syracuse.com/crime/index.ssf/2016/10/mans_fiancee_to_murderer_why_did_you_have_to_kill_him_over_deez_nuts.html#incart_river_home

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009

Phlegmish posted:

So the journalists are in on the joke, right? I can't believe there'd be this many news stories with 'Florida man' in the title.
You can google "<any state/country> man news" and silly headlines will come up. I think Florida Man just beat everyone else to becoming a meme.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

Collateral Damage posted:

You can google "<any state/country> man news" and silly headlines will come up. I think Florida Man just beat everyone else to becoming a meme.

Florida’s police records are unusually open. That’s a major contributing factor.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009

Platystemon posted:

Florida’s police records are unusually open. That’s a major contributing factor.
That makes sense.

We have a similar thing in Sweden where the procedures of parliament are open to the public. And since any party member can submit individual motions to parliament this is a treasure trove for newspapers to make juicy headlines like "Party X wants state funded research on perpetual motion" or "Party Y wants to allow infants to vote" because some nutcase in the party made a motion, even though it immediately got ridiculed and thrown out.

Byzantine
Sep 1, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 47 hours!
What's he like? It's not important. Florida Man.

zedprime
Jun 9, 2007

yospos

davidspackage
May 16, 2007

Nap Ghost
Heh heh. Crafty. *picks at scab, spits out tooth*

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Friend have you heard about krokodil? Special price for you!

Some Pinko Commie
Jun 9, 2009

CNC! Easy as 1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣!

davidspackage posted:

Heh heh. Crafty. *picks at scab, spits out tooth*

Hey, it worked when they claimed it might have Ebola in it.

http://www.local10.com/news/weird-news/woman-arrested-after-falling-for-ebola-tainted-meth-facebook-post

Evilreaver
Feb 26, 2007

GEORGE IS GETTIN' AUGMENTED!
Dinosaur Gum

a man falls through the earth and into wayne county sherrifs department. taking a torch from the wall he spies row upon row of policemen. grasping the nearest by the shoulders, he shakes it madly, yelling “my nigga does my meth have zika?!"

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXuc7SAyk2s

DIED A VIRGIN
Dec 21, 2012

yes no yes no yes

drat, what a pro.

GEORGE W BUSHI
Jul 1, 2012

Hilary Clinton sends Pamela Anderson to murder Julian Assange with vegan sandwich.

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?
What world are we even living in.

Proteus Jones
Feb 28, 2013



I've been saying for years that Pamela Anderson is a deadly international assassin. :colbert:

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




Fathis Munk posted:

What world are we even living in.

Lime Tonics
Nov 7, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

Police: Man buys NYC storage unit, finds dead, frozen cats

Police say a man bought a storage unit at an auction in New York City and found dozens of dead cats frozen in two freezers.

https://apnews.com/1fb5760f7c6c49c78bc3027200c92963?utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=AP_Oddities

Edit : Man charged after frozen chicken attack

http://abc13.com/news/man-charged-after-frozen-chicken-attack/1560828/

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Xun
Apr 25, 2010

tacodaemon
Nov 27, 2006




This looks so much like typical college-newspaper fare, and then I realized it is from Austin's actual main daily newspaper

Shugojin
Sep 6, 2007

THE TAIL THAT BURNS TWICE AS BRIGHT...



Usually dogs are the ones to protect people from imaginary things. Nice to see it reversed once in a while.

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The MSJ
May 17, 2010

https://twitter.com/NorthantsPolice/status/788406138597441536

Similarly:
Video: Watch as elderly women try to snatch £15k McQueen poster from Belfast's Bullitt hotel.

The painting in question:

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