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Pron on VHS
Nov 14, 2005

Blood Clots
Sweat Dries
Bones Heal
Suck it Up and Keep Wrestling
NFC East games have always been good, even when the division has sucked in the past. They are especially good when it's a divisional game. What's the last Skins/Cowboys or Eagles/Giants game that has been outright boring? This forums irritation at NFC east prime time games is the dumbest poo poo.

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Ches Neckbeard
Dec 3, 2005

You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!

Ehud posted:

I'll print you a nice tank top

Make it a belly shirt.

CowboyKid
May 29, 2008

#TradeRomo

Who wants him?

Pron on VHS
Nov 14, 2005

Blood Clots
Sweat Dries
Bones Heal
Suck it Up and Keep Wrestling
*smiles gently remembering Alex's safe, efficient passes from yesterday* not me

Diqnol
May 10, 2010

mastershakeman posted:

it's a city that no one cares about or even remembers that it exists, the same goes for your sports team

I think you're a salty dog because he's right snd you have to watch him be right in primetime 12 times a year, take the dick outta your dick bud

got any sevens
Feb 9, 2013

by Cyrano4747
I forgot there was even a game last night, I was still jazzed about the hawks win and then I remembered at 8pm and it was already a blowout in the fourth quarter, so I turned it back off. Whoops

D-LINK
Oct 1, 2007

I was talking to peachy Peach about kissy Kiss. He bought me a soda.

CowboyKid posted:

#TradeRomo

Who wants him?

*tentatively raises paw*

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

I got a taste for blown saves

CowboyKid posted:

#TradeRomo

Who wants him?

I'd take him, but it would be cruel to watch him get destroyed behind a tissue paper line for years, finally get the best line in the NFL, then be traded to a team that can't pass block for poo poo

Ghost Dog
Aug 17, 2016

Gynecolojustice posted:

NFC East games have always been good, even when the division has sucked in the past. They are especially good when it's a divisional game. What's the last Skins/Cowboys or Eagles/Giants game that has been outright boring? This forums irritation at NFC east prime time games is the dumbest poo poo.

every single one of them

internet inc
Jun 13, 2005

brb
taking pictures
of ur house
It's OK we have Jets-Cards to look forward to!

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Gynecolojustice posted:

*smiles gently remembering Alex's safe, efficient passes from yesterday* not me

The last full game Alex Smith played for the 49ers was a MNF game where he went 18/19 for 232 yards and 3 touchdowns in Arizona


~*~ miss u alex ~*~

corn on the cop
Oct 12, 2012

Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

― Corey Dostoyevsky
when was the last time the afc south had two above-average teams

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

I got a taste for blown saves

corn on the cop posted:

when was the last time the afc south had two above-average teams

2012

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo
With all this talk of trading Romo what would the ramifications be on a team's salary cap if they were to acquire him?

corn on the cop
Oct 12, 2012

Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

― Corey Dostoyevsky

that colts team had a -30 point differential despite winning 11 games im not sure they qualify

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it
Just get over it and kiss Chip on the mouth, Merril

Q: “Can you win in the NFL with this system…”

Hoge: “No.”

Q: “As it currently stands?”

Hoge: “No.”

Edwards: “Don’t know that yet.”

Hoge: “No.”

Edwards: “He won 20 games…”

Hoge: “No.”

Edwards: “Running this system.”

Hoge: “No.”

Edwards: “We saw it.”

Hoge: “No.”

a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


mastershakeman posted:

it's a city that no one cares about or even remembers that it exists, the same goes for your sports team

It's Always Sunny has never even been nominated for an emmy lol.

a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


Yeah yall are right, I really prefer to watch the Steelers and Ravens take cheapshots for 4 hours straight while punting the ball a billion times.

But don't worry there will be a fight with 3 minutes left and it will have all been worth it.

Oberst
May 24, 2010

Fertilizing threads since 2010

a new study bible! posted:

Yeah yall are right, I really prefer to watch the Steelers and Ravens take cheapshots for 4 hours straight while punting the ball a billion times.

But don't worry there will be a fight with 3 minutes left and it will have all been worth it.

This guy gets it

Goddamn I can't wait to watch ben get injured AGAIN

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

go go go go ROSCOE! posted:

With all this talk of trading Romo what would the ramifications be on a team's salary cap if they were to acquire him?

Romo's salaries escalate over the last years of his contract from $8.5m in 2016 to $14m, $19.5m and $20.5m (!!!) so whoever got him would be paying him mountains of cash without some kind of restructure/cap shenanigans/whatever to soften the blow somehow.

The Cowboys take a salary cap hit if they trade him in 2016, but not after that.

This is just fooling around with OTC so take it with a grain of salt.

a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


NFCE Games have given us, in recent memory:

Eli autographing the wall of Cowboys stadium

Miracle at New Meadowlands

Chris Christie learning the proper technique to suck an old man's dick

Odell's one handed catch

Cool player intrading (Murray/Jackson/Mcnabb)

Philly killed Victor Cruz and saved us from his stupid dance.

Vick putting up 35 points on the Redskins in one quarter.

The Redskins Swinging Gate lol


That's also not to mention poo poo like Joe Theismann having his leg exploded and battery throwing and all that other poo poo.

NFCE owns. Print the shirts.

Pops Mgee
Aug 20, 2009

People all over the world,
Join Hands,
Start the Love Train!

CowboyKid posted:

#TradeRomo

Who wants him?

Send him home to Green Bay please.

Brannock
Feb 9, 2006

by exmarx
Fallen Rib
Here's how to fix the NFL:

1. Admit Thursday Night Football was a mistake and abolish it.
2. Take MNF away from ESPN and award it back to ABC or something. SNF and MNF should be the two marquee games of the week. Get out ahead of the death of cable lest the NFL get dragged down by it.
3. Add a second bye week in the season. No team can play on MNF more than two games removed from a bye. You also extend the season by a full week of revenue, and you give teams more time to rest and recover from injuries, which means your superstars are both more likely to be able to play and more likely to be able to play at full strength.
4. No more London games. Early morning football is fun, I have to admit, but the games are more disaster spectacle than legitimate football game.
5. No China games. What the gently caress, Goodell?

These are the basic broadcast things just to make primetime games watchable again. The other things I'd do is dramatically limit the amount of commercials that go on. Fewer commercials, charge more for a higher premium. Longer breaks between quarters and halves for players to recover. Some given maximum of commercials that can be ran in any given quarter. You also get rid of the stupid old white men rules about celebration and gifs and the ideal gas law. After that then you start looking at things like shortening rookie contracts so teams have more incentives to invest in veterans rather than continually stockpiling cheap players on four or five year contracts and allowing teams to actually practice in the offseason leading up to the season...

Years ago we all saw that the NFL had a golden goose on their hands. It was incredibly obvious that they'd eventually try to strangle it to squeeze more cash out of it. Goodell wants to increase revenue by a billion dollars for the next fifteen years each. At this point the NFL isn't just strangling the golden goose, they're loving it.

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
Add in a second bye week, but make sure all teams playing on TNF are coming off a bye so it isn't a four day turnaround

Oberst
May 24, 2010

Fertilizing threads since 2010
Do Not Harm Goose

Brannock
Feb 9, 2006

by exmarx
Fallen Rib
Speaking of idiotic things the NFL is doing:

The NFL is legislating joy out of the game

quote:

In the perfect NFL game, nobody smiles. Not even on the inside. Players react to scoring touchdowns the way they might react to, say, gall bladder surgery, or lukewarm beet-and-turnip stew, or single-tracking on the Red Line.

Create a moment of athletic brilliance in front of 78,000 beer-swilling fanatics while opponents attempt to decapitate you and TV cameras roll? Congratulations. Now please return to the bench and open your textbook to page 274, where we’ll be reviewing the history of the Glass-Steagall Act during this commercial break.

Early in the Redskins’ 27-20 win over the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday, Vernon Davis forgot the rules. He made the unforgivable mistake of having fun. Sure, he had just caught his first touchdown pass in more than two years, for his hometown team, in a stadium he grew up visiting, against a division rival. And sure, his “celebration” — a football jump shot toward the goal posts — was an inherently non-violent act, so long as the jump shot isn’t being launched by Rajon Rondo. And sure, there wasn’t one single sentient being inside FedEx Field — including Eagles fans — who saw that motion and cried out to the heavens for retribution. Heck, the Philly folks were probably just curious if Davis could help out the Sixers.

No matter. The penalty flag came, and the Redskins were dinged 15 yards for “unsportsmanlike conduct” — an unsportsmanlike jump shot! — and Davis went back to the bench in agony.

https://twitter.com/BMitchLiveCSN/status/787715939118751744?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

“I have a contrite heart right now. I honestly do,” Davis said after the game. “It just makes you feel bad. Seriously. There’s some regret there, because I’m hurting the team. I went to the bench with my head down. I know I just scored a touchdown, but I went to the bench with my head down, like ‘Man, this feels bad. This is horrible.’ “

Well done, NFL. Pretty scoring plays should definitely make athletes feel horrible and contrite. This entertainment product might occasionally entertain, at which point the authorities need to step in, stifling anyone’s laughter with a yellow muzzle.

Davis’s problem was he used football as a prop in his joy, which is verboten — unless Rob Gronkowski is spiking the ball in the end zone, in which case the NFL’s official Twitter account will glorify the moment not once but twice. That same account also twice saluted Odell Beckham Jr. for triple-jumping in the end zone on Sunday, track-and-field events being permitted while archery remains outlawed.

https://twitter.com/NFL/status/787730261819600896?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

https://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/787714602201145344?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

More importantly, this one mattered. The 15-yard penalty meant that Redskins cyborg place kicker Dustin Hopkins couldn’t boot the ball out of the end zone. That gave Eagles returner Wendell Smallwood a chance, and 86 yards later, the to-that-point-incompetent Eagles had a touchdown and their first points. Sure, blame Washington’s special teams. But don’t forget why they were put in that position.

“I mean, you can’t breathe anymore,” said Josh Norman, who was penalized and fined this season for a pantomimed bow-and-arrow celebration.

“You can’t do anything any more,” Will Blackmon said at the next locker.

“Hell, I’m surprised we can go out there and suit up and play the game,” Norman said.

“I’m surprised we can high-five,” Blackmon added. “High-fives might be 10 yards next week, I don’t know.”

What is the constituency for this? Whose complaints are we solving? Which outraged fans are we pacifying? Were basketball purists horrified by Davis’s form? (“It was a terrible jump shot,” Blackmon pointed out.) Is it a slippery slope that we’re trying to flatten? One day they’re shooting jump shots, and the next day they might be infecting footballs with the Zika virus?

These, remember, are grown men being scolded like unruly third graders. Grown men who are often rather thoughtful about this profession they’ve chosen.

“Fans want to see excitement,” said Norman, who tried to stop himself from commenting but couldn’t manage the trick. “They come for this. They work their tails off during the week, go to work to their 9 to 5. They get a day off on Sundays to come out here and watch their team put on a show. I mean, shoot, that’s what we are, we’re entertainers. Whether you like it or not, that’s what we are, man. We want to have fun with you guys. We want to have fun with the game.

“It’s ridiculous,” Norman went on. “And if they’re going to say I’m outspoken about it, so be it, because this is what we do man. Having fun. Gladiators in the sport. Back in the day, they celebrated, they had their time, so why can’t we have ours? I don’t understand it, man, I really don’t.”

Norman is an outspoken extrovert who dresses like Batman and poses for magazine covers. Spencer Long, on the other hand, is a 315-pound Nebraskan who plays offensive line and isn’t often in the business of celebrating touchdowns. But he isn’t closer to figuring it out than Norman, this renewed focus on purging the game of joy. (Unsportsmanlike conduct penalties were up 56 percent in the first month of this season, according to ESPN, and most of those calls were for prohibited celebrations.)

“It’s really counterintuitive, if you ask me,” Long said. “The fans love it. We love it. It’s not taunting — he wasn’t taunting anybody. He’s not getting in anybody else’s face. He just threw the ball in the air, celebrating. I mean, I think that’s a win-win for everybody. Everybody loves to see that.”

Well, not everybody. There must be somebody out there, somebody with a heart made of charcoal briquettes, who sees a happy Davis and shudders, turning around to look for a teacher with a ruler. Which part of the NFL constituency is this? That answer eludes me.

“I have no idea, man,” Niles Paul said.

“They’re not really allowing us to have fun,” Chris Baker said. “But we understand that now.”

“I mean, you have to cut us some slack,” Davis said. “There has to be something that we can do to celebrate. Just something. I don’t think there should be a penalty for everything.”

“It’s not even like he’s showing off,” Redskins Coach Jay Gruden said. “He might have been flipping it to the cheerleader back behind the goalposts.”

“When is enough enough, you know?” Norman asked. “It’s just getting too ridiculous.”

Norman offered a strong and impassioned response, one of the stars of this game trying to stop his sport from slamming a sledgehammer on its thumb. His words were nearly perfect.

One problem, though. Norman smiled as he talked. Smiling isn’t allowed.

Febreeze
Oct 24, 2011

I want to care, butt I dont

a new study bible! posted:

NFCE Games have given us, in recent memory:

Eli autographing the wall of Cowboys stadium

Miracle at New Meadowlands

Chris Christie learning the proper technique to suck an old man's dick

Odell's one handed catch

Cool player intrading (Murray/Jackson/Mcnabb)

Philly killed Victor Cruz and saved us from his stupid dance.

Vick putting up 35 points on the Redskins in one quarter.

The Redskins Swinging Gate lol


That's also not to mention poo poo like Joe Theismann having his leg exploded and battery throwing and all that other poo poo.

NFCE owns. Print the shirts.

Even the less memorable games are batshit and full of bizarre stuff

Vick clowning the Redskins
RG3 clowning the Cowboys
Dez Bryant's finger was out of bounds against the Giants
The Giants have 6 turnovers and dallas wins
Eli and RG3 trading last minute touchdowns
Cowboys losing the division in the final game 3 years in a row in spectacular fashion
Giants beating Dallas with JPP's finger blocking the field goal after Coughlin iced them

Just this season we had Terrence Williams not going out of bounds to make the Cowboys lose to the Giants
The OBJ net game with the Redskins comeback win, Giants have first player ejected under 2 unsportsmanslikes
Eagles/Skins yesterday where the Eagles scored more points off of defense and special teams than offense


NFCE clownball is routinely more entertaining than most games because something interesting is always happening even if what's interesting is terrible play. They NFL just made the horrible horrible mistake of putting the non-NFCE matchups in primetime. All NFCE internal matchups should be primetime and the rest of them maybe not so much. Giants/Vikings and Giants/Packers both sucked. Eagles/Bears was a boring rout.

Febreeze fucked around with this message at 18:02 on Oct 17, 2016

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo

Brannock posted:

Speaking of idiotic things the NFL is doing:

The NFL is legislating joy out of the game
Sometimes I wonder why I bother with this league

Blitz of 404 Error
Sep 19, 2007

Joe Biden is a top 15 president
I'm so sick of that sinking feeling after every contested catch where a flag may or may not be thrown.

After every pass breakup the DB looks right at the ref and it's stupid as hell.

Every team down a touchdown or more in the fourth is going to throw the football like mad to catch up and with the DPI rules the way they are it's much more likely that a team can catch up than it used to be and it creates artifically exciting close games that may or not be intentional

weird Asian candy
Aug 23, 2005

Ask me about how my football team's success determines my self worth, and how I wish I lived in New Orleans.

Brannock posted:

Speaking of idiotic things the NFL is doing:

Vernon Davis fakes shooting a basketball and gets 15 yards.

Richard Sherman bear hugs Julio Jones and gets nothing.

Makes sense.

go go go go ROSCOE! posted:

Sometimes I wonder why I bother with this league

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
WRs and QBs begging/calling for flags is the dumbest thing and should be flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct if they do it

Blitz of 404 Error
Sep 19, 2007

Joe Biden is a top 15 president
A penalty for taunting between two grown rear end men in a game where we make such huge deals about "defending your city/turf" is asinine

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

I got a taste for blown saves

corn on the cop posted:

that colts team had a -30 point differential despite winning 11 games im not sure they qualify

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5-iJUuPWis

Ghost Dog
Aug 17, 2016

all of those games were insanely boring, i didnt even look at the list my eyes just glazed over and i had thoughts of the endless hell that is the same nfc east primetime game thats on every single week, the weeks between being a sort of halftime where everyone convinces themselves the poo poo they just consumed was not, infact poo poo but High Quality Steak and then hypes themselves up for the next bucket of poo poo to scorf down, and maybe reminisce about how awful Great all those other terrible games were. bad teams playing badly but in a way that ends up with a lot of points just isnt exciting and never will be

Bigass Moth
Mar 6, 2004

I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.
:boom:
he knows...
Josh Norman got the bow and arrow penalty. The next week Tom Brady did the usain bolt pose which is basically the same thing with no penalty and was far more blatant in your face taunting. Makes sense.

Ghost Dog
Aug 17, 2016

the unsportsmanlike penalties are deeply rooted in Racism racism racism racism

Febreeze
Oct 24, 2011

I want to care, butt I dont

Ghost Dog posted:

all of those games were insanely boring, i didnt even look at the list my eyes just glazed over and i had thoughts of the endless hell that is the same nfc east primetime game thats on every single week, the weeks between being a sort of halftime where everyone convinces themselves the poo poo they just consumed was not, infact poo poo but High Quality Steak and then hypes themselves up for the next bucket of poo poo to scorf down, and maybe reminisce about how awful Great all those other terrible games were. bad teams playing badly but in a way that ends up with a lot of points just isnt exciting and never will be

Well I guess it makes sense you don't know what fun football looks like when you root for a cursed team

OSheaman
May 27, 2004

Heavy Fucking Metal
Fun Shoe
I dunno why everyone's complaining about TNF, this week it will be two bad teams battling hard for second place in the division just like God intended. I think you all have unreasonably high expectations here.

TheChirurgeon
Aug 7, 2002

Remember how good you are
Taco Defender

Febreeze posted:

Well I guess it makes sense you don't know what fun football looks like when you root for a cursed team

No see real football is another 20-17 Steelers-Ravens snorefest in a game that has 20 injury timeouts and a bunch of bad turnovers in the 2nd half.

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Ghost Dog
Aug 17, 2016

Febreeze posted:

Well I guess it makes sense you don't know what fun football looks like when you root for a cursed team

all i ask is for your patience, thoughts, and prayers as we struggle through the this decade of spectacular curses

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