Samizdata posted:

Oh God, I just realized it.

It's me.

The troper that didn't happen.

It's me...

:sob:

Atmus posted:

This realization is a mixed blessing. You are forever contaminated and must be purged, but at least you understand the necessity.

Khazar-khum posted:

Pencil

quote:
This troper knows a creepy fat kid who apparently thinks he's something different every day. So far from what he's counted, he thinks he is:
Zac Efron, an opera singer, Mumble, Sonic The Hedgehog, cool, sexy, good with the ladies, Spongebob Squarepants, Joe Jonas, a football player, A Spartan (you should see him running around the school yelling...well, you should probably know), a good dancer, a penguin in general (he was *ahem* "waddling" around the hallways repeatedly shouting out "Penguins will take over the world...Penguins will take over the world...") Optimus Prime, Chuck Norris, Naruto, a Pokemon trainer, and the reincarnation of Elvis Presley. He also likes chewing on his I.D. lanyard and his pencil.

Dr. Angela Ziegler posted:

Here's where it get crazy - I met a C-list celebrity, and my dad has the same name as a famous person!

Samizdata posted:

Through hook or crook, this troper ended up with several lockers at the biggest high school he attended which were all over the campus. He would park stuff in various lockers to make the trip easier. Later he spun things into a timesharing arrangement with others, which funded his soda and snack habit whilst at school.

Samizdata posted:

Through hook or crook, I ended up with several lockers at the biggest high school I attended which were all over the campus. So I would park stuff in various lockers to make the trip easier. Later I spun things into a timesharing arrangement with others, which funded my soda and snack habit whilst at school.

chitoryu12 posted:

Depends on your locker placement. I rarely used my locker because it would sometimes be in a separate building from all of my classes and I'd need to run (which is against the rules) to get anywhere in time. I ended up just adding a shoulder bag to my load to carry everything.

I've also read about some schools that tried to implement one-way hallways in a misguided effort to reduce crowding, which could force people to make a full circle to go to their locker because it was the wrong way down from the door.

Olive Garden tonight! posted:

Along with a picture of their ~6 year old child.

Olive Garden tonight! posted:

Along with a picture of their ~6 year old child.

Nth Doctor posted:

You didn't go to high school in metro Detroit, did you? Because this was precisely my experience. I opened my locker five times in four years.

quote:

During high-school my friends and I once did piggyback jousts. It was fun

quote:

While in high-school me, the Big Bad of the Ordinary High-school classroom arranged a joust with one of my friends who was the Papa Bear Lighting Bruiser of the Misfit Gang being the Noble Steed, my other friends being Those Two Guys, one of which was the Token Black Friend, causing a total Crowning Moment of Awesome after the second round when I caused a Heroic BSOD with my victory. IANMTU.

Furia posted:

I have an IQ of 240. While in high-school me, the Big Bad of the Ordinary High-school classroom arranged a joust with one of my friends who was the Papa Bear Lighting Bruiser of the Misfit Gang being the Noble Steed, my other friends being Those Two Guys, one of which was the Token Black Friend, causing a total Crowning Moment of Awesome after the second round when I caused a Heroic BSOD with my victory. IANMTU..

Samizdata posted:

Through hook or crook, I ended up with several lockers at the biggest high school I attended which were all over the campus. So I would park stuff in various lockers to make the trip easier. Later I spun things into a timesharing arrangement with others, which funded my soda and snack habit whilst at school.

rchandra posted:

This was a plot element in Gordon Korman's Don't Care High.

Samizdata posted:

Had to Google that one as I was unsure if it was real or you were snarking. You know, in a deadpan fashion. In order to make me have a Heroic BSOD so you could have your CMOA.

Trebek posted:

Please stop.

Samizdata posted:

Had to Google that one as I was unsure if it was real or you were snarking. You know, in a deadpan fashion. In order to make me have a Heroic BSOD so you could have your CMOA.

System Metternich posted:

somehow I doubt that they're making slip&slides by jizzing all over the floor there, and open fishing and buttsex is discouraged too I'm pretty sure.

Fathis Munk posted:

Well his German for balls deep is 100% wrong.

quote:

This troper's boyfriend has a friend who worked at a video game store. Every few days or so a man would come in and buy a few copies of the video game Shaq Fu. He would purportedly destroy these cartridges with a sledgehammer, and then would come and buy them. Said friend-of-boyfriend also received a box of cookies as a trade-in item for a Sega Genesis AC adapter.

quote:

You know how paper grocery bags are now contained inside plastic bags? Well, this troper is convinced that his mother invented them and didn't get credit. Why? Because when he was in elementary school, there was some school project where kids had to invent things, and naturally he couldn't come up with any ideas (come on, invention ideas come about only because of necessity!). So his mother suggested that since grocery bags break all the time, what if a paper and plastic bag were combined? The idea became the "papic bag" and was presented at the school fair... in notebook form, as he had forgotten to bring the actual display itself. Suddenly, next year, paper and plastic bags were actually starting to be combined in a way vaguely similar to the way he had described them in the notebook. His (mother's) idea was stolen and now it's everywhere!

quote:

This Troper's maternal grandfather served in the British Army during World War II as a medic. He's had quite a number of brushes with death, mostly while with the 8th Army.
During the invasion of France, my grandfather had to get out of the ambulance he drove to piss. When he came back, the ambulance had been bombed.
He was then ordered to get to Dunkirk. FROM SOMEHWERE DEEP INSIDE FRANCE AND BEHIND ENEMY LINES. He made it.
He then served in North Africa, and during one of the many battles there, his job was to run out into the middile of battle and get injured men behind the lines. During one battle, he administered First-Aid to a downed officer before bringing him back. A German ordered a cease-fire at that part of the battle, and when my grandfather asked the people on his side just what was going on (twice), they just smiled and told him to keep working. When finally behind the lines, he ran into one of his friends that knew German and asked what happened. The IANMTU? It was EWRIN "DESERT FOX" ROMMEL THAT ORDERED THE CEASE-FIRE, BECAUSE MY GRANDFATHER WAS SAVING A JERRY.
My grandfather didn't care what side a person was on, he would still try and save them. A British solider was lying wounded RIGHT BESIDE the Jerry, yet my grandfather ignored him because the Brit could get himself back.
A Jerry broke into my grandfather's ambulance in North Africa, and my grandfather was forced to fight him off. After patching up his own wounds, my grandfather tried to save the JERRY THAT HAD JUST TRIED TO KILL HIM AND STEAL MEDICAL SUPPLIES. According to my mother, the fact my grandfather failed to save the Jerry was the saddest moment for him.
Amazingly, he survived the war, and later died during peace time of a tumour or something (need to ask my mom what it was exactly, will edit when I know). My grandfather was a walking IANMTU and C Mo A

Danaru posted:

Man for every couple thousand of "haha my friend did something super banal what a cmoa", we get a "my grandfather ended the German WW2 African campaign"

Khazar-khum posted:

Cookies

sweeperbravo posted:

Reformed troper?

Lord Chumley posted:

This is somewhat real, there was/is a website dedicated to destroying every copy of that game.

Khazar-khum posted:

(paragraphs of detail)
died of a tumour or something

RNG posted:

Verisimilidude posted:

Jerry Cotton posted:

"Restored my faith" is the new clap-marriage, eh?